So lots of people are asking: Why is the counting so slow in Nevada?

I’ve lived in Nevada since 2004, so I was curious about this too. You’d think the home of Las Vegas would be superb at counting – money at least – and the population of the state is only about 3 million… so what gives?

Last I checked the count has been stalled at this:

• 588,252 votes for Biden
• 580,605 votes for Trump

So that’s only 7647 votes difference. And the state has a lot of mail-in ballots still to count. One reason is that any ballots postmarked by November 3rd and received by November 10th are legally valid here. So ballots that need to be counted are still arriving. I’ve learned that they’ve already processed all the in-person voting and all of the mail-in ballots received up to November 2nd, but there are still more to count that came in after that.

But that alone doesn’t explain why it’s taking so long to at least update the count more frequently. We’ve been stuck at these numbers for more than a full day. I checked the Nevada Secretary of State website too, and the official numbers haven’t budged in well over 24 hours, probably closer to 36 hours now.

Yesterday I fired off a few emails to local connections who might know something about the election process to see if I could find out what’s really going on. This sucked up more time than I care to admit, but I did get some answers, so I’ll gladly pass along this info to appease the curious and concerned.

The short answer is this: much stricter and more frequent cleaning procedures.

Nevada ballot counters are taking a LOT of extra breaks to clean and disinfect, not because of COVID but due to frequent vomiting when they open the pro-Trump ballots. It’s the smell.

For mental health reasons, some counters also had to be sent home to watch re-runs of Friends.

Election observers have been doing their best to support and assist the counters, including diverting cocaine supplies intended for The Strip, but so far these efforts have been somewhat disappointing.

So please be patient and have compassion for those brave and dutiful counters. Rest assured that Nevada has been a blue state for the last three Presidential elections.

If you direct your attention to the election map of Nevada below, it may look like Nevada is mostly a red state. However, the two blue counties include Reno (upper left) and Las Vegas (lower right), which is where the vast majority of Nevada’s population resides. The red areas are used for nuclear test sites, alien storage, and cemeteries for people who defied the Mob in the 60s – except for Nye County (the one that looks like a mushroom penis struggling to penetrate the vagina above it), which is where the legal brothels are; they always vote red to support their clients.

Anyway… I hope you appreciate this public service announcement. I’ve lived in Las Vegas (Clark County) since 2004, so I’m one of the many people who brought some California blue to what was previously a red state.

It looks like I picked a good year to finally start voting. 🙂