I need your honest advice (the more the better)

[Power]

I'm developing my writing style and I need your honest advice. This research will help me to track my progress.

Please just choose 1 article to read. Note that the article is at the bottom half of the page. I just want to know one thing:

"After reading the article: Would you like to read other articles again in the future, by the same writer?"

All I'm looking for is a simple answer of "Yes" or "No". Also, don't forget to state which article you read. (You can leave a comment if you like, but you don't have to. All comments are welcome, specially harsh and negative ones. But don't forget to either give me a "Yes" or a "No")

My research is not about punctuations and grammar (though all comments are welcome). What I specifically want to know is:

"After reading the article: Would you like to read other articles again in the future, by the same writer?"

Just choose 1 to read:
Article 1
Article 2
Article 3


Thank you in advance

[Doku]

Article 1: Hell no.

Reason? I could not read the thing. What's with all the colors in the different parts of the text? Seriously, what does that add to the content?

And what's with the movie quotes and references and such at the top, followed by a somewhat vaguely related PD story at the bottom?

Note: I did not read the other articles on the site. They may or may not be every bit as annoying to TRY to read.

[ellie]

No - only read part of article 1

All the colours literally hurt my head. I found it really hard to concentrate on your articles. Infact I'm giving up. I'd be happy to look over them again, when the font is back to black. Some parts sounded quite good, but literally can't read on.

Hmmm I've never had such a difficult time reading an article, you learn something new. I would of never realised font colour would effect me so much.

[AviMar]

Wow, yikes the colors are very distracting. I use italics, but mostly bold the lines that give you the gist of the article. That includes the intro sentence on lists.
check: Avi Marcus » Blog Archive » Your Thoughts: How To Think Positively

[Power]

To Avimar, Ellie and Doku:

This may sound abnormal.... but I highly appreciated and thank you guys for your replies and comments

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Power

To Avimar, Ellie and Doku:

This may sound abnormal.... but I highly appreciated and thank you guys for your replies and comments

Why would thanking us, be abnormal?

Ha ha, another Aussie that explains it

[Power]

I meant,... Most people would take it the wrong way and won't be grateful when they get a negative comment, even if it was constructive negative comments.

Abnormal, normal .... what is the norm ey?

So for everyone else (especially if you are having a bad day), come and give me 10 things you hate about my article (or website).

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Power

So for everyone else (especially if you are having a bad day), come and give me 10 things you hate about my article (or website).

Ok, I'm feeling in a particular snarky and bad mood, so I'll take your offer and deliver. But *only* because you asked for it. Otherwise, I'd have kept my mouth shut.

1. I don't like your signature at the bottom of regular pages. It's like you're trying to sell something and want money.

2. I don't like the border less page. It feels quite chaotic.

3. I don't like how on the front page it says " Dear Friend," . I'm not your friend, you don't even know me (maybe on this forum you know me, but you don't know me when I'm viewing your site), and it makes it look like a cheap marketing thing to say "Dear Friend".

4. I don't like the "100% guarantee" sign on the right side. It seems like a cheap marketing trick, and frankly, it's meaningless. What will you give back if I'm not happy? My money back, but yet I spent $0, so you can't give me anything back. You can't give me my time back either. Action speaks louder then words, either you deliver or you don't. No amount of personal guarantee from a stranger (which is what you are on that site) can convince me of anything.

5. I don't like the fact that the "100% garantee" sign is on every single page. If you have to have a meaningless guarantee, at least, put it on just one page, not on every single page. In fact, on your guarantee you write "we can be overwhelmed by the "Information Overload".". Well, including that guarantee on every single page helps create that information overload and clutter.

6. As some above touched, I also don't like the color scheme. Blue, Red, Black, and Bold Black all mixed together on white background is hard to read. Not pleasant, especially the way you mix colors up quite frequently. I'd stick to one color except for headings.

7. Why would you even have a testimonial page about....your website? I can understand maybe why you'd have it for a product you're selling, because the person can't see the product before they buy it. But a whole list of testimonial about a product someone can see and judge with their own two eyes? So I'd say get rid of it. Having the testimonial up there smacks of again of cheap marketing. Your website stands on its own, either it's good or it's not good. No amount of testimonial will change someone's opinion once they've been to your site.

(As a side note, do you have a background in real world marketing or advertisement? I have a feeling you're taking a lot of stuff that may work in the physical world, and wrongly trying to translate it directly to the internet.)

8. I don't like how you have links that don't work in your menu bars. For example on the left side, you have "Letting Love Go" and "Life Behind Things". among your menu. Seems like a link so I click on it, and it doesn't work. Then I realize that it's probably something you will include in the future. Well, if you're going to include something in the future, don't create a space holder for now, it's a waste of my time trying to click on it. You can easily add it later on, or you should easily add it on later.

9. I don't like your "Update" section on your home page where you say "fixed broken link". Kinda silly to me to have that on your front page, as if the world was waiting for you to fix that broken link.

Ok, that's all I feel like searching for. I'm sure I can find other things I don't like about it if I felt like it. Enough hate for now . You asked, I delivered.

[Power]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Ok, I'm feeling in a particular snarky and bad mood, so I'll take your offer and deliver. But *only* because you asked for it. Otherwise, I'd have kept my mouth shut.

Yeah I think that's why everyone is holding back because they think I might get offended with the comments.

Thanks for the reply, I highly appreciate it

I hope writing those 10 things had some therapeutic effect over your mood

Keep them coming guys

[MartialDev]

I read part of the first article, and stopped before the end.

Your first step is to choose a specific audience ("people who want to improve themselves" is not specific enough). Then, you need to write material that would benefit THEM, not material that interests YOU. The 100% personal guarantee misses the point.

This is all explained in The Infoguru Marketing Manual, which I highly recommend.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Power

Yeah I think that's why everyone is holding back because they think I might get offended with the comments.

Thanks for the reply, I highly appreciate it

Does any of what I wrote resonates with you? Are you going to think about any of these points, or you're just going to wait to see what most people think?

I hope writing those 10 things had some therapeutic effect over your mood

Yeah, I felt better after writing it out. Though, I meant every word I wrote.

[Power]

To Martialdev:
Thanks for the advice in regards to writing, that is what I was after an not so much with web-design.

To Seeker5:
I clearly did state in the beginning that I am developing my writing style/article and need an honest advice about my article/writing and not about web design (although all comments are welcome). So far the comments are on web design, which I agree that it is a total mess

For me the website is a casual thing. I've just started it this year and haven't done much to it because of my time restraint, it's nothing serious to me. Though, I will change the design in the future and take on your advice. I guess, if you look closely, I've just slapped those things to kill some space or else nothing else would be on the page.

=======
My research main goal is not about web design/layout but about my article. That's why I specifically asked a "yes" or "no" to see if the article is interesting enough. Design opinion is secondary to me at this stage. At this stage it's more important to me to read, "I only got half way and stopped" because it tells me that it is not interesting enough; Compared to "dear friend: I'm not your friend" which doesn't help me about my writing/article.

I did state all comment are welcome even about the website, but I guess most misunderstood that the advice I was after was about developing my writing style... but I did clearly state about the writing style... I'm sure I did

[seeker5]

Ah, wished I had made that disctinction before I wasted my time looking at it.

But frankly, the web design is important to the point that your web design is interfering with my desire to even read your articles. Not that I might read your articles otherwise if you have a great design. It's just that for now, your web design and layout screams to me to avoid reading your articles.

[Power]

Originally Posted by seeker5

design is interfering with my desire to even read

Trust me,... point taken

Just waiting for myself to find the time in a week or so.

[Lauxa]

I read Article 2. Not really.

I thought the beginning was pretty good, almost funny and amusing, but then when it switched to PD metaphor I kind of lost interest. "Intuition is like a guiding light" is kind of cliche and doesn't really get to the heart of what intuition actually is, how to access it, or how to make good decisions.

[Power]

To Lauxa:
Thank you for your comments, its was very helpful.
As the title was "Intuition, our guiding light: one scary night" my objective of the article was a brief simple introduction about intuition. I didn't have any plans in going very deep on the "How to". I will write certain things in the future with "How to" headings and I will get into depth on the "How"
Your comment was very helpful in regards to my writing style, thanks again

[Unik]

I loved your articles and currently I am reading other articles listed on the page.

Your content is great. You will have to improve the presentation.
Try to get a clean and professional design and your site is going to rock..

Best of luck..

[tedcharles]

Hi

I find article 1 better than the rest. Avoid using too much colors and try using a professional website design. The content is great but I feel it's too lengthy.
That's my opinion.

Ted

[Brutha]

The layout of the text (article one) reminds of those long sales pages for products.

I also think that there should be something that seperates your text area from the rest. Get some CMS like wordpress and a standard templete.

I clearly did state in the beginning that I am developing my writing style/article and need an honest advice about my article/writing and not about web design (although all comments are welcome).

Your webdesign is that problematic that it prevents people from simply judging the text.

[Rosie]

I loved the content. Way to go!

[Lenie]

Your content was ok. Your intentions were very good. But um,
no. It needs to be smoother, more coherent.
Reading it felt like driving over serial speedbumps.

But hey - it's not like what I think matters.

Go with your heart.

[Power]

To Unik:
Thank you for your comments

To Tedcharles:
Thank you for your comments
I think most would find length of 600-1000 (short) 1000-1600 (medium) 1600-2000 (long). I guess it all depends if you are enjoying the article or not because even if its too lengthy it wouldn't matter.
(I'll get to the reason with the colors in the end)

To Brutha:
Thank you for your comments
I will be separating the text
(I'll get to the reason with the colors in the end)

To Lenie:
Thank you for your comments... and of course your opinion matters, or else I wouldn't have asked it in the first place
"Speedbumps", I know what you are talking about and will try to improve my writing. It was very helpful for my writing


====================
About the color...
If it's not explained then it is less likely to be understood. There is a reason behind the font colors. I've read that design colors should not exceed more than 3 colors (which I have only 3 colors also). Unlike before, I've cut down the colors so that 90% of the text is in Black and only 10% is in red or blue.

One of my goal for the colors was a quick reference guide (which I inform in the website's 'use instructions', which I purposely did not make any references to). I'm trying to design the website not as "read a page" and that's it, I want it to do more than that (but I won't fully disclose what I'm trying to achieve). I never mentioned it here because I wanted to see what the reactions if people didn't read the instructions. But I somewhat already knew that they are going to react in that certain way. It gave me an idea how to accommodate this issue if people don't read instructions.

I think it is irrelevant for me to discuss where I am at and where I am going with my website, but I know I need people's opinions/advice. Thank you again for all the comments, it's very valuable to me.

Keep the comments coming, don't think about me or how I'm going to feel. I couldn't care less if my website was voted the ugliest website of the millennium But I truly value your opinions.

[Brutha]

It gave me an idea how to accommodate this issue if people don't read instructions.

Good webdesign needs no instructions. People come from google or elsewhere and either they like your website and stay or they don't. They won't read instructions beforehand.

I think it would be good if the text area had a different colored background than non text areas.

[Revolution]

Power,

Lessons to Overcome Life's Challenges and Enjoy it Victoriously:

Thankyou for this, you are a profound thinker.

Good article.

The Rocky quotes were excellent and appropriate - but there was WAY to much emphasis on Rocky at the start.
The website looks more like some kind of movie review thing than a PD site.

Also you have to wonder about a PD webite where the first words that hit your eye are Sylvester Stallone?!!!!!!!??!!!

Also there's too many faggy arse gay pictures - people standing on piers, standing on beaches - gay - just GAY. Get rid of that ****.

Why would I want to read all those articles down the side? Who wrote them and why? What is the source? Why did you create the webise? What is the purpose? You MUST adress these questions. WHO are YOU?!!! What have you done with your life that would make me want to spend my time reading your opinions on life?

Give it some ATTITUDE - some ORIGINALITY - not the same ol' ****!!!

Also, the crying face after the words about a little boy crying was terribly corny and seriousy detracted from the seriousness of the article. The one at the end is okay though.

Furthermore, "Breian" - whats this about - a PD webite or somekind of testimony to yourself? Is this your name? If so then STATE WHO YOU ARE and why you created the site.

Did I read the other two articles? No. I already know about intuition and personal power.

I would say that the articles should come BEFORE the movie quotes. Its all about establishing context.

Now, as for Grammar ... well what can I say? I've probably already wounded your ego enough with the above so ... ahem I guess I'll spare you!

[Doku]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Good webdesign needs no instructions.

DING!

[rjani]

Hi Power,
I tried to read your 1st article, but I could only the first part of it, although I tought you have some good ideas to deliver, it can't get through me if I can't read the whole article, and I think the average surfer is even lazier than me. My point is, when I started to read, I got some motivation, I thought this guy has something to say, but then you started speaking about your struggling wayyyy toooooo looooongg, I gave up, and it becomes boring. Maybe you either should write shorter articles or give them some "juice" in crittical points of the text, when the average reader may loose interest otherwise...
But I'd like to say thank you now, because you gave me a good idea by asking for evaluation on this forum, I'm planning on creating my own blog soon, and it's a reallly good way to get people's HONEST opinion in a short period if time, maybe I'll try it too. So thx
Oh, and btw, your design rly sux mate, I think with just a little upgrade on that could give people a MUCH better 1st impression

[Power]

Thanks for the comments Revolution and Rjani

[Sam988]

Its so good when someone wants honest opinions without the gibberish hollow encouragement. It's already a good sign .


In Article 3, you write: "I didn’t missed the shot because I didn’t practice.[...]"

I think that a good deal of people will be partially turned off when they read such a grammatical mistake; it's very basic. English is not even my native language (i don't know if it's yours) yet i frown when i see such a mistake, especially in your case, with a startup website and doing your best to make it look nice. Not that i judge people solely on their grammatical mistakes, but paying more attention for the spelling and grammar doesn't hurt and shows that you dedicated yourself.. I've never seen such a simple grammatical mistake in any of Steve's articles.




Apart from that , i liked the article very much and would (actually, will) read the other articles.

[Logodae]

#2, and no. Rambling personal anecdotes leading to strained analogies, leading to generic "truisms."

[alexb5784]

First I want to say you did a great job with:

1. You put together a site and got it up!
2. You took the time to create content.
3. You posted the content.
4. You're asking for feedback.

I've briefly looked at your site and now I'm going to read what you wrote.

Congrats on getting past the hard part of just thinking of an idea and not doing anything with the idea