Lightworker Syndrome (Blog)

[Steve Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Lightworker Syndrome

[Michelle]

Thank you for this post.

I am a survivor of Lightworker Syndrome, not yet fully cured but well on the way.

Fear of success is a big part of it. Lightworkers also tend to be deeply sensitive without knowing how to protect themselves. It was a long time before I would even consider becoming vulnerable and opening up on stage, which is absolutely required for touching an audience.

Admittedly, my life has changed very positively since confronting my fears. It is worth it and, like you say, our responsibility.

[confused]

I am so far into Lightworker syndrome, that while I was reading the blog, I realized I kept skipping out, playing a game of solitaire, then going back. Talk about denial. I'm Terrified!!!!

[donmak]

I have identified myself with this problem. I was speaking with my wife about this the other day - about how if I am successful I worry about becoming a slave to my passion.

Regarding the problem of doing something don;t like in order to make money vs doing what you love for no money - I heard an interview recently that helped me to see how I can make a compromise (and change my perception) in the short term for a long-term gain.

I heard an interview with an actor recently, who was talking about the crappy jobs he had coming up. He said (and I'm paraphrasing):

"Working [this crappy job] was not what I wanted to really do, but it was close. Then when I got [this little bit better crappy job] it wasn't what I wanted to do either. But it was closer. Then I landed [this pretty cool gig], and even though it was pretty cool it STILL wasn't what I wanted to be doing, but it was closer. Now I have [this swank job] and it is exactly what I love doing and I wouldn't trade any of my experience getting here. Not for a second."

If I can think of the actor they were speaking with, I'll add it to this post.

Anyways, thanks for this this morning. It was what I needed.

-dm
Songwriting Tips for Songwriters
Songwriting Blog

[tim deegan]

really liked reading this, especially this morning in which i've been grappling with exactly this issue, fairly unsuccessfully i might add. thank you for sharing this.

[Andreas]

What a fantastic article – resonated with me.

Whenever you’re ready, you have the power to turn off those petty problems and stop manifesting them, but once you do that, you’re going to have to deal with the real issue of why you’re here. Deep down you know that’s the truth, don’t you?

YES. I've been struggling with this for some time now, reconciling my current situation with my mission... it's a process, but I've been turning a corner over the last week. This article was the culmination of that.

"I’m going for it. If I go broke, I go broke. But if I go this route in good faith, the universe had damned well better back me up."

Also resonated with me. It's time to shine.

"Staying small serves no one, least of all you. This planet needs you now, not tomorrow… not someday. Don’t let us down, and especially don’t let yourself down."

I won't.

[dalante]

I really enjoyed this article, but there is one point that I would have liked Steve to address.

If I want to make the move to dedicate myself 100% to what makes me happy, how do I do it, in view of my situation? I have created a situation in which I am imprisoned from my work. I have debts, no savings whatsoever. I understand I created this by manifesting unappropriate thoughts.

Using the model of intention manifestation, I have started to send out to the universe new intentions. However, in practice, taking actions towards my goal is really undermined by the fact that I have to stay at my job to survive, pay off debts, etc... If I quit my job now, I am homeless on Novembre 30th. This job takes a bing chunk of my schedule.

I know I have to find the solution by myself, but i was wondering if you readers and Steve, have any thought relevant to this situation? About how to make the transition possible in practice....

Until I find the solution, I'll keep intentioning...

[Nneka]

This post really hit the spot. I too am afraid of being responsible for so many. I am really anti-guru. Not that I think I would be one, but I really don't like the idea of being put on a pedestal. Amazing, that I was talking to a friend about this just this Saturday.

@Dalante: I am working my 9-5 and doing something everyday towards my passion. I have also committed to save 10% of my income as a practical step toward having the money to transition. I've stopped adding to my debt and any income that my passion makes will be used to pay off the debt I have. I just decided that I have to do something everyday on it. It's adding up much faster than I anticipated.

[Michelle]

Dalante, As a singer I've had several financial sponsors throughout my studies. I lived in fear of losing one of these sponsors and not being able to pay my bills. I also felt unfree to be strong, make decisions and act because of feeling somehow accountable to my sponsors for the use of the money I received. However, I did not see how to break out of the cycle and become independent. There was simply no room for a low paying side job in my schedule between studying, practicing, performing and teaching. But I knew that financial freedom was also the key to my artistic freedom. And artistic freedom is my highest priority.

So, last month I leaped. I closed the bank account where my sponsor money was deposited, without a clue how even my rent would be paid. You know what? The Universe supported my actions! Since the change the number of students attracted to my studio has tripled! Not only this, I am singing better because I feel freer and more relaxed which will cause me to have access to more high profile singing engagements.

I am by no means rolling in the dough yet, but the Universe is giving me enough now and the means to get more!

Pay your debts, then leap!

[M13]

Awsome article. I never understood the link between Control and Responsibility. I think Steve nailed it for me.
For a long time I have been trying to find my path to success. But now I see that I am the path. I already have the resposibility. Now I just need to lay down the pavers behind me.

[uon]

Excellent post Steve, thank you for such enlightening words. This post really resonated with feelings I've had for the past several (6) years, since I first awoke to whats possible (at 18 years old) to present (24). This relationship between power and responsibility, and smallness and distractions, I know all too well. There is something about finally understanding that relationship within oneself between power and responsibility, and how they are inextricably linked. When we can full accept this non-dual relationship, then we can go forward with full faith that there is no end to the path. How wonderful is that? A LIFE TIME OCCUPATION!! :]

Much Respect to All
John

PS- I believe the quote at the end of the article should be assigned to Nelson Mandela.

[michael.shearer]

Originally Posted by uon

PS- I believe the quote at the end of the article should be assigned to Nelson Mandela.

Actually, that's what I thought, too, but some research into that says otherwise (that it is mistakenly attributed to NM).

[danas]

Wonderful blog
thank you steve. Oh my God! how do I get out of this? I am an artist. I only want to do art! I have been pretty successful, but my work is hard to sell cause its not paintings but videos.My work has statements social and political and I say them.
But I want to grow, grow financially and get the whole world interested in my what I have to say. Ive had museum shows, some grants, prizes at festivals, but still its so hard unless you start to make art that is more sellable, and then its not true "art" anymore.
this is a version of the lightsyndrome. Everyday someone around the world asks me to send them work to screen, to exhibit. Im happy about this but they are all non profit institutions who cant pay.
I now intend for my art to bring me a lot of money!
Universe show me the way

[demk]

I posted this before in an article entitled Need help making changes (I think). I felt it might benefit people who have read this blog.

.....

I had a break through today after reading Steve's recent blog post on responsibility which could be exactly what you are going through.

Recently I have become aware of the resistance your ego presents you with. It has a vested interest in everything staying exaclty the same because it feeds off your situation. Your current situation is very pleasing to your ego even though you may be dissatisfied. Even your dissatisfaction is pleasing to the ego in some way.

Anyway, I have been trying to get myself to really look at my beliefs and I encountered a lot of resistance in the form of procrastination, excuses and mood swings. I realisied that the excuses were actually irrational because they didnt even involve the of myriad reasons why I shouldnt do something. It is like my mind just latched onto certain excuses because it knew that when I thought about that I would behave in a certain way which maintained my current life. Out of all the possible excuses my ego would always present me with the ones that worked for its aims, the ones it new would get it what it wanted.

After reading Steve's post I asked myself some questions in my journal like what does success hold for me, why might i be scared of my full potential and why might i fear responsibility. The answers were the same old excuses that my mind always uses. Then I asked myself, what would happen if you got over all the ego excuses, started to realize how capable you are, you were able to do exaclty what you love, left your past behind and lived to your highest potential? The answers were suprisig and rang very true...

I realised that I simply didnt trust myself with any sort of responsibility. I felt like I would mess things up and possibly even harm others if I had the means. Not in a malicious way of course but I felt like I was too careless to have any power or money or whatever. When I was young someone used to say to me "if you had brains you'd be dangerous" whenever I did something wrong. This sums it up exaclty. I feel like if I have brains (read money/power/influence) I would be dangerous or irresponsible.

This is irrational of course because I am in fact a responsible and well intending person. My next course of action is to change these beliefs with questions that prove the opposite is true. This works well for me. I will be asking myself questions like why am I responsible, why am I capable of handling a situation involving money and power etc. This works because your mind starts generating answers. I generally write them down too, about ten or so for each answer. Do this often enough and you will change your beliefs and naturally behave differently (it is like magic how your reality changes when you change).

.....

Thanks for the inspiration Steve. This has been a big beakthrough

[Totga]

Those last couple of paragraphs was where it hit home for me. Great post. I'm getting started on purpose-centered living ASAP. After all, the World needs me, right?

[JJP]

This is a great post, Steve, bravo. It will help a lot of people. It all boils down to "following your bliss" (your intuition, what you feel is good for you) and trusting in some power higher and wiser than you... your higher self, God, the universe, the law of attraction, the power of the mind, your inner light, or whatever... with faith that it will all work out. And it turns out that it does

[RandomJohn]

I think the part that hit home to me was position coming from power, not the other way around. A lot of times, it seems like we are "stuck" in a position without power, and that if we can just get a promotion, or get someone else elected, or whatever, we could have more power to change the things we want to change. Of course, this will remain a pipe dream if we keep such disempowering beliefs around.

We already have the power, but it's a matter of using it to lead. Coincidentally, I also heard Wayne Dyer's podcast today, in which was mentioned the analogy of the rivers and the sea. Why do the rivers follow the sea? Because the sea is below the rivers. People who serve will naturally lead.

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by dalante

I really enjoyed this article, but there is one point that I would have liked Steve to address.

If I want to make the move to dedicate myself 100% to what makes me happy, how do I do it, in view of my situation? I have created a situation in which I am imprisoned from my work. I have debts, no savings whatsoever. I understand I created this by manifesting unappropriate thoughts.

Using the model of intention manifestation, I have started to send out to the universe new intentions. However, in practice, taking actions towards my goal is really undermined by the fact that I have to stay at my job to survive, pay off debts, etc... If I quit my job now, I am homeless on Novembre 30th. This job takes a bing chunk of my schedule.

I know I have to find the solution by myself, but i was wondering if you readers and Steve, have any thought relevant to this situation? About how to make the transition possible in practice....

Until I find the solution, I'll keep intentioning...

Good intentions are just the beginning. The next step is to become totally congruent in your thoughts with the new reality you're wanting to create. That's the hardest part. You can intend all day long, but you won't move very far until you can achieve internal congruency.

The how is really not that important. The why is far, far greater. Too often we use not knowing how as an excuse to disguise the fact that we haven't fully figured out the why.

I started this web site before I realized how it would fully work, how I'd generate income from it, how I'd build traffic. But I knew precisely why I had to do all those things, and that broke down all the barriers in my path and created all the hows I needed.

You can commit to a goal without knowing how you'll achieve it, as long as you know why you'll achieve it.

The challenge is coming up with a why that's so incredibly strong, nothing will stand in its way. This usually means you must begin to resonate with an idea who's time has come.

[RandomGuy101]

Simply amazing article. I feel truly inspired. I have been struggling with the following for a long time:

"On the one hand, I have my purpose, my spiritual beliefs, and my
feeling of connection to everyone. When I resonate with those
thoughts, I'm motivated to serve and help people all day long. On the
other hand, I also live in the physical world. I need to provide the
basic needs for myself and my family, which in practical terms means I
need an income. So I can't be too airy-fairy if it means I don't have
a place to live. I have to stay properly grounded."

My purpose is to serve all people in a significant way using my engineering skills. I am constantly trying to come up with a plan but the fear of not having an income is very scary to me. This paragraph really hit me:

"It was then that I had an epiphany. I realized I could never escape
responsibility by failing to act. The only thing I could escape was
control. This is why I say you can give up control but never
responsibility. Responsibility is a given."

I guess my current engineering job does provide some value to some people, but it is not significant enough for me. I want to do something cutting edge, something meaningful, something that could change the course of human history, something that provides value to every person on earth.

"You came here to do some serious good for this planet, so get busy
and go do it. You're not fooling anyone by standing still. You're
responsible to do what you came here to do whether you do it or not.
And if you're going to be responsible, you might as well accept and
embrace the power to do something about it. Staying small serves no
one, least of all you. This planet needs you now, not tomorrow… not
someday. Don't let us down, and especially don't let yourself down."

Thank you Steve, you have affected my life in a positive way more than I thought anyone ever could.

[songwriter]

Well I was wondering about if my purpose was to be a musician or not. Just the day before going to the studio for the first time I wrote here... than I don't know if Music is my purpose... but some say Life has no purpose with music...

After what Steve writes I think that "what you should do" is the most important question of all. I feel like if my songs would have to be known. I can't run away from that (I sometimes have tried).
I don't even know if I will enjoy it, or If need it, or If I can do it... But I know I should. Or least I should try.
Yes... so I went there, for better or worse... Now I don't know if I will make a living of it (thought somehow deep inside of me I feel like I will). But men, I've got to try! I have no escape to that. Maybe I won't enjoy it... I can quit it in the future then... no problem.
The "Should" seems to be the real question.

"One life you've got to do what you should" One, U2.
mmm... didn't I tell you that everything is in the songs?.

[quints]

All,

Hello to this group, and I wish all the best success on the quest for the best you can be!

I quite enjoyed the article... Yet I still do not know how I will deal with my fear and self-doubt. Before you say you are going to take the leap, must you not be able to say you are capable, and you believe you can be successful? How does one come to truly find the confidence to take that leap in the context of a lifetime of self-criticism and doubt? Lack of confidence can keep one from trying, as can fear of failure. That's what I am wrestling with now.

Quints

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by quints

All,

Hello to this group, and I wish all the best success on the quest for the best you can be!

I quite enjoyed the article... Yet I still do not know how I will deal with my fear and self-doubt. Before you say you are going to take the leap, must you not be able to say you are capable, and you believe you can be successful? How does one come to truly find the confidence to take that leap in the context of a lifetime of self-criticism and doubt? Lack of confidence can keep one from trying, as can fear of failure. That's what I am wrestling with now.

Quints

Well, you'll never be sure of you'll be successful until you are. And you'll never know if you're capable or not until you try.
That's not an easy thing at all. Some prefer never trying. Some say better trying and failed that never tried.

It's kind of the red pill or blue pill thing. Do you want to know the truth about it or not? Thought the truth may be not good... but it may be not bad...

I personally prefer to know the truth about whatever, or try to discover it. I think the only power is truth.

[awu]

I particularly like how Steve mentions the kinds of distractions that steer us away from our purpose - health, financial and relationship problems that keep us running around in little circles. When I read that, I realised that all I've been doing for the past couple of months was get absorbed in my petty day-to-day problems, totally and completely forgetting about the fact that I might have a life purpose, and that it shouldn't wait until next decade, next year or even next month, I need to get to it now.

And Steve is right - I fear my own success. I fear what kind of responsibility success might bring. I fear the implications of being wealthy as a result of success.

But this by far is the best part:

So I’m going for it. If I go broke, I go broke. But if I go this route in good faith, the universe had damned well better back me up.

It makes me think of devout Christians who've said "God, I give my life to you". And in a similar way, I might say "I give my life in service to others and to the fulfillment of my purpose". There's nothing else worth living for. Everything else is a circular distraction.