| | |||||||
| Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
| Steve Pavlina Discuss ideas, articles, and podcasts from StevePavlina.com. New threads are automatically generated for Steve's latest blog posts. |
|
Welcome to the Personal Development for Smart People Forums, the place for lively, intelligent discussion of all personal growth issues -- physical, mental, financial, social, emotional, spiritual, and more. You're currently viewing as a guest, which gives you limited read-only access. By joining our free community, you'll be able to post your own messages, access many members-only features, see the new messages posted since your last visit, and of course remove this header message. Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please join today. If you arrived here from a search engine, you may want to explore the main site first, which includes hundreds of deep and insightful articles on a variety of personal development topics. |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| |||
| |
| |||
| Awesome post Steve. This makes polarization make much more sense and makes it seem much more applicable to anyone's life. Seeing how the darkworker and the lightworker eventually end up in the same place really ties the whole concept together. You could write a whole book about this concept |
| |||
| Hi Steve - nice post, Although I haven't read all your articles on dark and lightworkers, I still got something from this read. I think your article is more about finding true happiness than about movtivation, at least from my perspective. Your post got me thinking about the natural balance of self vs others, or in your words, darkworker vs lightworker. For many years there was a time when I was a darkworker. I focused all my time, energy and action into providng things for myself. I thought that this was the only way that I could be happy. Later in highschool I began tutoring kids in math and realized there was another side to being happy. I realized that I could be just as happy by contributing to others WHILE satisfying my own need to teach. I think this is what your post is saying. That is, to be truly happy is a balance of contribute to others while satisfying your own needs. Cheers, Stephen Martile — Personal Development with NLP |
| |||
| Quote:
Also this: Quote:
__________________ I've been totally wrong before and I might be totally wrong now, so if I'm totally wrong, just forget everything I ever said. |
| |||
| Ahh my favorite subject of this website. Great article, even though i had already figured most of what you've written by reading your other articles on polarity. I'm eager to see the discussions here, and thanks for bringing the subject up again.
__________________ All that matters is results. Turbo mode now! Full schedule. Bye bye. |
| |||
| I couldn't agree more with this article. I find that the more I focus on love, and unconditional giving - without seeing myself as the sacrificial lamb - the greater my energy level, the more effective I am in the world and the more FUN I have with everything I do. I really love moving away from the pleasure/pain model. Brilliant. Thanks, Steve.
__________________ Eric Grey Student of Classical Chinese Medicine Portland, OR Visit: Deepest Health: Explorations in Classical Chinese Medicine |
| |||
| Quote:
The word "fear" isnt very elegant indeed. I prefer "self-love", that reasonates better with the DW mindset in my opinion.
__________________ All that matters is results. Turbo mode now! Full schedule. Bye bye. |
| |||
| Quote:
- does this contradict what you said before (quoted below), and if so, what changed your mind? Quote:
Quote:
__________________ I've been totally wrong before and I might be totally wrong now, so if I'm totally wrong, just forget everything I ever said. |
| |||
| Hi all I've been reading the forums for quite some time. This is the first time I've decided to jump in and post. The way I see it serving yourself and serving others and sides of the same circle. If you wish abundance for yourself because you have a healthy love for yourself you will create that abundance by serving and helping others well. If you wish abundance for yourself because of fear (of poverty, abandonment, etc.) you will create that abundance through control and manipulation of others. If you are serving the greater good from a place of love you will take care of yourself as well as other people. If you are serving the greater good from a place of fear you will neglect yourself and may not be giving real value to others. I fail to see how fear is a good motivator. It may motivate someone to make money or build walls, but will they enjoy any of their accomplishments? Will they end up like Conrad Black? Serving the greater good from a place of fear also seems to end up in self-destruction. We see this in environmentalists who suffer from depression and suicide. Perhaps the highest motivation is unique to each individual and that is why it is so important to really know ourselves and make conscious choices. |
| |||
| I wonder if Harry Browne (How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World) would be considered a successful darkworker. His basic premise was to take direct rather than indirect actions: rather than trying to free the world one frees oneself, and the only person you really know how to make happy is yourself, so why try making others happy? A real world example for me would be: rather than try to convince anyone to legalize raw milk for everyone, I simply get my own goat and solve the problem for myself. |
| |||
| Quote:
-- Allow me to be bold here: Fear is to Dark what Guilt is to Light. Helga, a darkworker works with a feeling of intense self-worth. They are always very happy about being who they are. They don't aquire things out of a negative compulsion, fearing that they will be hurt if they don't have them. They feel powerful, unstoppable and invincible (at high levels of energy). They know they have the power to overcome anything - being a darkworker is about realizing your own power. They aquire things in a positive feeling of lust, a desire for all good things in life, that focuses on the positive. It is an expression of their self-worth, which they'll have no matter what happens to them and what their circumstances are. They see how they can gain something from any situation, thus life is very enjoyable to one who is "fear-polarized". Someone who has a strong flow of darkworker energy cannot be moved by fear of poverty or abandonment, because there is also in the darkworker the idea that one is able to withstand anything. This is not self-delusion - a darkworker might for example realize their body is not physically strong, but they have the power to make it strong. If they find weakness within themselves, they feel a positive urge to overcome it, feeling confident, thinking of all the greatness they can achieve. ("wow! yeah!") For darkworkers, the focus is primarily inward so they see greatness in themselves first. Lightworkers focus outward and see greatness in others first. You're right, Helga. Fear, fright, anxiety, is a horrible motivator. But fear can be seen as the first little urge to serve yourself, just as the possibly very negative feeling of guilt can be seen as the first little urge to serve others. I think that should be made more clear in the blogposts.
__________________ I've been totally wrong before and I might be totally wrong now, so if I'm totally wrong, just forget everything I ever said. Last edited by Shindra : 08-14-2007 at 06:19 AM. Reason: I want this to be in the friendly tone it is thought... |
| |||
| I hope I understood your post correctly. I can definitely relate to your struggle to understand motivation. I'm currently going through that struggle as I am my own boss now. I'm confused to where I stand in the dark and light worker spectrum. I believe that you can only help people if you help yourself first. People like and listen to people who are like themselves. The light worker seems like a person who derives his or her wellbeing from others. That to me just screams trouble. Nobody likes to have someone dependent on them for any reason. The dark worker works out of fear. I think fear cause unethical and destructive actions. However, I may not be at my motivational peak. It's the first time to hear this idea of dark and light workers. You have much more experience than me, so I think I'll study and try out your ideas. I may just need to reread the post. I'm a bit tired. Carl Z PseudoPower.com |
| |||
| I don't resonate with the term "fear" either, I think (for me at least) the term "desire" makes more sense. Although that'll probably confuse others. I've been rereading the series on polarity lately and it's making perfect sense to me. I was toiling between the two, even experimenting more in being a dark worker, but that only led down the wrong path. I now understand my path as a lightworker and the more I commit to it, the more the universe takes care of me. Colm -Back from the brink
__________________ The quickest and easiest way to succeed is to avoid the quick and easy thing to do. www.colmoreilly.com - True, Lasting, Inner Confidence www.superiorlifestyles.ie - One on One Coaching for Social Confidence |
| |||
| Well Steve this post hs really brought me back into focus, I know now for sure that the Darkworker Path is the one for me. Hate me if you want, militant Lightworkers, but my future lies in making my life better, so that everyone else is better too. Or in the word of "Johns" From Pitch Black "Turn to thine own ass first, right"
__________________ I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none. - MACBETH |
| |||
| Steve. You're still just plain wrong on this. There is not a love versus fear polarization. To give in to fear is to negate the entire purpose of polarizing. The whole point is to overcome "Lightworker/Darkworker syndrome," by understanding that those are just two sides of giving in to the same fear. You need to learn to give or take without fear. That means only giving or taking what is in abundance. For example, I am here to take. What I am taking is freely offered and abundant - Knowledge. So, is my post giving? Nope. I am more effectively taking knowledge by offering my thoughts and looking at direct feedback. It's faster and more efficient than searching around looking to clarify my thoughts. Is anyone deprived by my taking? No. This forum is freely offered. In fact, I add to page views which increase your ability to charge for advertising revenue, so I'm not even taking your inexpensive bandwidth. I'm adding a benefit to you. Steve, you seem to understand giving without fear, but you don't seem to get taking without fear. The last thing you should ever do in order to give without fear is to give what you barely have. You figured this out. You give knowledge, which you have in abundance. It takes nothing from you to do so, and it feels fulfilling. You realized that time was limited, and money was as well, so you weren't giving those without fear. You gave what was abundant, and now you also have abundant time and money. Here's another example. I take from my Dad all the time. Taking without fear involves asking, or taking what is explicitly offered freely. It does not equate with stealing, even if you can do so fearlessly. I ask my Dad to help me with things, and this actually gives him what he wants. He's driven by the need to be needed. Sometimes, out of fear, he creates artificial needs, which gets him into trouble. I create a genuine need for him, thus fulfilling his primary fuel for life. As an added bonus, if he's helping me, he keeps out of trouble. Fear polarization is not a path to success. Polarization is fearLESS. That's it's purpose. To conquer one fear, and transcend it's other side in the process.
__________________ Humor Blogging - Original Humor and Meta-Blogging Radioactive Liberty - Humor and the Politics of Empowerment |
| |||
| Finally, Steve is starting to take less of a hardliner stance on Darkworking. ::deep sigh:: My work here is done. |
| |||
| I'll call selfish light-worker (with a really cool sword). After thinking about my chosen career as a doctor (currently pre-med 2 days from the MCAT) for just a bit, I do not feel I'm doing what is best for the everyone. I think it would be misguided to start in that mindset because for me it would lead to stagnation because I'm not too sure what I could do to benefit people most. But, if I start with the first question, YES! I do think this is the best way to ensure my happiness: finances (check), thinking I'm helping people/sense of accomplishment (check), continued learning encouraged (good stuff), and if I make my own practice there is no need to overwork once I reach MD status (sub-40hour work week is a big check on the happiness scale). Basically it's a damn good start. I'd still consider myself a light worker because I'm motivated by self love, with consideration that I am part of the whole. I think the more healthy emotions and love I feel the more that my loved ones feel and benefit from peace and love and the more we can slowly benefit the whole of which we are a part. I agree that this self-sided focus can answer both questions (help me vs. help others) in my focus on personal happiness. The more that I feel I am actually helping people with physical, and possible emotional health, the more I am happy (I enjoy feeling helpful). So in the interest of greater happiness I will gradually amass more information and pursue more endeavors that will help me help more people in the long run rather than getting overwhelmed by the task and simply reading and studying all my life to figure out how to best help, with no real positive output. For me, answering the question what's best for everyone first would be lead to stagnation based in fear of not actually serving. I assume the second question was for dark workers but my motivation is highly in the love category. Even the money (a source of fear for some) is sought to increases my ability to live a healthy life and help those in need for cheaper prices (possibly going to Africa or holding a weekly free clinic). I see Steve's post as reminding me of the importance of priorities. I want to love myself and those around me first and work to extend that happiness and love by expanding to others... So I assume that keeping in mind this priority will unlock higher potential for motivational energy. It reminds me of the article below which talks about the impact of pinpointing motivation and the desired goal on learning languages effectively: http://www.4hourworkweek.com/bonus/p...arn-lang-A.pdf Though its possibly much different than what people in here would try to do with the lightworker/darkworker concept, I hope that the mention of the article could work as a reminder that the information should help, not frustrate. Otherwise, strive simply to not work |
| |||
| -- Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
The lightworker/darkworker doesn't seem a useful distinction to me. I think fear and guilt will take you to the same place. And I think "seeing greatness" will take you to a different place.
__________________ Questions and Chaos - Life in the 21st Century |
| |||
| I like the term "Enlightened Selfishness." It was only recently that I came to realize that I Deserve the best off all that life has to offer. So I am on a mission to achieve the life that I want to have. And I really would like to "Polarize" one way or the other, but I am put-off by the whole "Darkworker" term. I find that I resonate more with the description of a darkworker, however using that title bothers me... as does acting out of "fear." Can we substitute other terms here, so that I can polarize already?? |
| |||
| In a way, it is the whole concept of making service to self the same as service to others, but with two different energy levels. One starts off making onself happy and then using that happiness as motivation to feel even better. The other uses service to feel better about oneself, serving others and learning about fulfillment and accepting the fact that giving to others comes back tenfold (or so I've heard). It is a gigantic commitment to polarize, but it looks like it will be worth it. When you center your life around either giving or receiving, it makes it easier to retain that motivation Steve talks about. Every action you take, you ask yourself, "Is this going to help me serve/aquire better?" This all depends on which way you polarize. I believe that polarizing will give you a tremendous strength towards hitting that peak motivation, so I may give it a try. All in the name of service, properly compensated of course. I completely agree that serving from a position of abundance is optimal. It just gives you more resources to serve with. You've heard the story of the guy who says, "I'd give you the shirt off my back," but he does not even own a shirt. The thing I love about Steve's site is he found a way to make a decent living giving away things for free. That is exactly what the lightworkers need to do. Find a way to make giving sustainable and experience abundance to draw upon to continue the cycle of contribution. |

