Shutting Down the Forums (Blog)

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

There you have it. That reading is spot on, yes?!!!!

All who are having suffering over this contemplate this reading in honesty to yourself.

What's interesting is this I Ching reading is fixed - no moving lines. If you know I Ching you know what that means. It means there isn't another hexagram that this state goes to. Kind of rare. Usually you get 1-3 moving lines and a resolution hexagram or the next state of affairs that the current state morphs to.

Thanks wolfgang, I appreciated this. I suggest anyone looking for insight into what value this situation could be offering, read the description of this hexagram.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

Thanks wolfgang, I appreciated this. I suggest anyone looking for insight into what value this situation could be offering, read the description of this hexagram.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

How can you follow someone who is perfect, who never has the kinds of problems people really have in life--like dealing with emotion or ego?? By pretending you are perfect too? I think that is the opposite of personal growth and ensures you will never progress.

Were you following him? Well that's absurd....why would you want to follow a person you know nothing about other than what he writes online? It's one thing to be impressed by his teachings, but what does it even mean "follow"? Maybe next time you, and people like you who are disppointed by this very fallible human being, will learn to follow your own selves instead of a guru.

And furthermore, I am relieved to see Steve reacting like this. All these years he seemed to be perfect. He rarely ever admitted making mistakes or never seemed to have sympathy for poor slobs like me who are basically run by their heart--he made it sound like everything should be easy. In his blog post, though, he categorically admits his fallibility and embraces it, like a human being.

Maybe he's the one that needed the growth more than anyone else here. Maybe he had to pretend to be perfect as part of his path to growth. He obviously just wants to be loved, just anybody else. Wasn't that always obvious from all his attention seeking articles?

[Manuel]

I just thought about his upcoming Conscious Relationship workshop, hahahaha! If he still feels like doing that one, the man has balls of STEEL,lol!

Quotes from the info for the workshop: "What You'll Learn

* How to design and adopt a conscious and intelligent relationship strategy that works for you..."

"CRW helps you create happy and fulfilling relationship experiences"

How is this working for you, Steve? Feeling happy and fulfilled with your relationship to your moderators yet?

If this doesn't get me banned, I don't know WHAT will!

P.S. All of this reminds me of something I read once "We teach what we need to learn ourselves." I don't understand that, however, because how can you teach something if you still have to learn it yourself first?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Manuel

I just thought about his upcoming Conscious Relationship workshop, hahahaha! If he still feels like doing that one, the man has balls of STEEL,lol!

Quotes from the info for the workshop: "What You'll Learn

* How to design and adopt a conscious and intelligent relationship strategy that works for you..."

"CRW helps you create happy and fulfilling relationship experiences"

How is this working for you, Steve? Feeling happy and fulfilled with your relationship to your moderators yet?

If this doesn't get me banned, I don't know WHAT will!

Dropping relationships that no longer serve you is something I've been sharing for years. It's all over my blog, it's in my book, and it will be covered at CRW too.

[freddy]

Steve do you think this upcomming workshop will be better than other before due to the lastest issue on the forums?

[Andrew Gubb]

I think you are contradicting some of the stuff you wrote about ownership vs. stewardship though. As a steward I think it should not be too hard to find a way to get this website running independently of Steve Pavlina.com. It could be done with minimal risks to people's contact details. I think most memebers here would prefer to take that risk than to say goodbye to the forum. Why don't you do this? It seems like some sort of desire for control, I don't know. Or perhaps you just don't understand how important and unique these forums are for people.

[Manuel]

Originally Posted by Savage

Dropping relationships that no longer serve you is something I've been sharing for years. It's all over my blog, it's in my book, and it will be covered at CRW too.

Yo Steve?! Still reading these posts and keeping the forums open? Respect!

I know that part about dropping relationships that no longer serve you. I have no doubt you will cover that and be excellent at it! I was more referring to how it's working in terms of having a lot of people upset at you But I guess if you think it's all THEIR issue, fair enough.

I wish you good luck with the workshop, I admire your courage, really! (something I have very little of myself, unfortunately).

[Alice Hive]

This forum changed my life! I met so many great people here! Before that I couldn't have even imagined that such people existed!

Please add me, dear forum members, so we can keep in touch: Anna Eichenauer | Facebook

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Manuel

Yo Steve?! Still reading these posts and keeping the forums open? Respect!

I know that part about dropping relationships that no longer serve you. I have no doubt you will cover that and be excellent at it! I was more referring to how it's working in terms of having a lot of people upset at you But I guess if you think it's all THEIR issue, fair enough.

I wish you good luck with the workshop, I admire your courage, really! (something I have very little of myself, unfortunately).

Well, I'm not losing any sleep over it if that's what you're wondering.

I think some of those people are actually more upset they got caught than anything else.

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by Savage

Dropping relationships that no longer serve you is something I've been sharing for years. It's all over my blog, it's in my book, and it will be covered at CRW too.

Oh, right, relationships serve the person.

Silly me. And here, all this time, I've been more focused on serving my relationships.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I think you are contradicting some of the stuff you wrote about ownership vs. stewardship though. As a steward I think it should not be too hard to find a way to get this website running independently of Steve Pavlina.com. It could be done with minimal risks to people's contact details. I think most memebers here would prefer to take that risk than to say goodbye to the forum. Why don't you do this? It seems like some sort of desire for control, I don't know. Or perhaps you just don't understand how important and unique these forums are for people.

I think we can do better than what these forums amounted to. There will be better solutions down the road.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Oh, right, relationships serve the person.

Silly me. And here, all this time, I've been more focused on serving my relationships.

That's part of it too, but win-win is a better choice. If you focus too heavily on serving others, you risk martyring yourself, which isn't sustainable. I've certainly had that problem from time to time.

As I mentioned in a blog post a while back, if you can't achieve win-win, it's usually better to disconnect and look for new win-win connections.

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by Savage

That's part of it too, but win-win is a better choice. If you focus too heavily on serving others, you risk martyring yourself, which isn't sustainable. I've certainly had that problem from time to time.

As I mentioned in a blog post a while back, if you can't achieve win-win, it's usually better to disconnect and look for new win-win connections.

I agree, and I am glad that you are determined to let go of a thing that doesn't serve you anymore.

[Manuel]

Originally Posted by Savage

I think we can do better than what these forums amounted to. There will be better solutions down the road.

I am glad to hear you say this, Steve! I also thought the positive effect of the forums was sub-optimal, to say the least!

I remember you replying in one of my threads how the forums could help a person a lot with your principles of Truth & Love, but Power not so much. I thought this made a lot of sense, because especially for Truth it's very important to get other perspectives than your own and the forums were obviously a great resource for that. Do you have any ideas on a new tool to help with Truth that can replace the forums?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Manuel

I am glad to hear you say this, Steve! I also thought the positive effect of the forums was sub-optimal, to say the least!

I remember you replying in one of my threads how the forums could help a person a lot with your principles of Truth & Love, but Power not so much. I thought this made a lot of sense, because especially for Truth it's very important to get other perspectives than your own and the forums were obviously a great resource for that. Do you have any ideas on a new tool to help with Truth that can replace the forums?

Experiment to learn from experience. Read a lot, especially biographies. Talk to people in person, especially A-players in their fields.

[Manuel]

Originally Posted by Savage

Experiment to learn from experience. Read a lot, especially biographies. Talk to people in person, especially A-players in their fields.

Biographies huh? You know I've often thought about reading those, but somehow never got around to doing it. I will TAKE this advice! Thanks a bunch. I am now TRULY done posting on these forums (I think I have said that like 4 or 5 times already, but hey, consistency is not one of my strong points!)

Thanks for all you're doing, Steve. Keep up the good work!

It was nice knowing all of you! God bless and have a merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Manuel signing off.

[martinogg]

I like pickles.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Manuel

Biographies huh? You know I've often thought about reading those, but somehow never got around to doing it. I will TAKE this advice! Thanks a bunch. I am now TRULY done posting on these forums (I think I have said that like 4 or 5 times already, but hey, consistency is not one of my strong points!)

Thanks for all you're doing, Steve. Keep up the good work!

It was nice knowing all of you! God bless and have a merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Manuel signing off.

I thought you were aiming to hit 500 posts first.

[success21]

why is it my recent posts got deleted?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by success21

why is it my recent posts got deleted?

Trolling and personal attacks, and responses to those -- I think yours was just a response -- get nuked to keep the archives clean.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Savage

I think we can do better than what these forums amounted to. There will be better solutions down the road.

That sounds interesting. Are you planning to be part of those solutions?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

That sounds interesting. Are you planning to be part of those solutions?

Yes, but not with a structure that resembles anything like this one.

[Luvyourlife]

Originally Posted by Savage

Dropping relationships that no longer serve you is something I've been sharing for years. It's all over my blog, it's in my book, and it will be covered at CRW too.

What about all the other people serving eachother in this forum? Because a few individuals upset you, it justifies closing down the whole forum which affects all of us?

If you're relationship with the forum members is no longer serving you, why can't the forum be handed to someone else so you can let others continue to support and inspire eachother?

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Savage

I think we can do better than what these forums amounted to. There will be better solutions down the road.

Have you considered making a closed forum with a fee attached, similar to the ProBlogger forums or the paid version of the Warrior forums?

Those are the only forums I've ever seen that charge a fee to join, and I've never joined them so I don't know what kind of quality people they have in there. But it seems to me that having a small monthly fee (or perhaps just a one-time fee, since nobody enjoys monthly fees) would keep out a lot of the trouble-makers and riff-raff who bring in low-quality topics like "omgz my boy sed he likz anther girls!!! wat do I do?!"

I assume it would also keep the population down to a low count of only people who knew they would be active and participating regularly, not to mention making it easier on the moderators to keep out spammers and the like.

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by Savage

Dropping relationships that no longer serve you is something I've been sharing for years. It's all over my blog, it's in my book, and it will be covered at CRW too.

It looks like I'm one of the last members of my former circle on this forum. I'd like to put forth one last thing, just to see if we can get a bit of understanding on both sides.

The greatest achievement I could ever imagine is creating something that becomes bigger than myself. In my eyes, that's what happened on this forum. Your ideas and effort facilitated a massive network of people who are interested in personal development. That's no small feat.

Even though I only posted here for two years, I saw the evolution of this community. We kicked around a lot of ideas about how to make the community better, about where to go next, and even where the SP brand might go next. We didn't just feel like members; we felt like owners.

Sometime in early 2011, the community evolved again. There were more new members than ever, and not all of them seemed to be interested in personal growth. For that reason, a lot of people decided they that this forum was no longer a match for them.

Now here's the thing... this is the part where your teachings and ideas grew beyond you. Members decided that, at least for the time, this forum had served it's purpose. That's something that many of us learned from your teachings; to drop what's not working.

Instead of saying, "Steve, please make this laundry list of changes to accomodate us", they created their own forum.

The forums did slow down for the better part of this year, and recently, they were picking right back up. From talking to various members, it was going this direction, with or without PD For You. Something about the atmosphere was offensive to people.

I had an inkling that this forum was on the way out and I was OK with that. If you're heart isn't in it, why stick around?

This whole debacle shook a lot of people because of the way it happened. The banning of a signifigant chunk of the community basically eliminated any chance of really enjoying this forums last days. I suspect that people will continue to troll until the forum is done for good. That's a sad way for a great thing to end.

Other than that, I don't really know what to say. There has been a lot of damage done (arguably on both sides), but it can be undone. Here's my proposition:

A one-day forum-wide unban so that we can give this forum a proper funeral. I'd be willing to mod it with a zero tolerance policy for trolling.

Up to you.

-Tim

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Luvyourlife

What about all the other people serving eachother in this forum? Because a few individuals upset you, it justifies closing down the whole forum which affects all of us?

If you're relationship with the forum members is no longer serving you, why can't the forum be handed to someone else so you can let others continue to support and inspire eachother?

Many of the community members already connect on other sites like Facebook, so they're not losing their social connections to each other.

This forum became popular and maintained that popularity due to its connection with my blog, which gets far more traffic than the forums ever did. Without that connection the community would lose too much IMO. I don't see a viable way to maintain the same type of community on some other site, nor does that interest me right now.

I see there are a number of members here who also feel this place has run its course; I feel the same.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

Have you considered making a closed forum with a fee attached, similar to the ProBlogger forums or the paid version of the Warrior forums?

Those are the only forums I've ever seen that charge a fee to join, and I've never joined them so I don't know what kind of quality people they have in there. But it seems to me that having a small monthly fee (or perhaps just a one-time fee, since nobody enjoys monthly fees) would keep out a lot of the trouble-makers and riff-raff who bring in low-quality topics like "omgz my boy sed he likz anther girls!!! wat do I do?!"

I assume it would also keep the population down to a low count of only people who knew they would be active and participating regularly, not to mention making it easier on the moderators to keep out spammers and the like.

I considered that approach but didn't think it would be viable. This forum gets so many lurkers relative to members. I don't think enough people would pay to make it viable.

The forums that tend to do well with a paid model are typically money-focused, meaning that they help people make more money.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Mounds

A one-day forum-wide unban so that we can give this forum a proper funeral. I'd be willing to mod it with a zero tolerance policy for trolling.

I have too little trust with the members of that other community to risk it at this point. In the past couple days, they've seemed much more interested in trolling and insults. They've made it clear they hold me in great contempt, so there's no basis to make such a proposal viable.

[Luvyourlife]

Originally Posted by Savage

Many of the community members already connect on other sites like Facebook, so they're not losing their social connections to each other.

This forum became popular and maintained that popularity due to its connection with my blog, which gets far more traffic than the forums ever did. Without that connection the community would lose too much IMO. I don't see a viable way to maintain the same type of community on some other site, nor does that interest me right now.

I see there are a number of members here who also feel this place has run its course; I feel the same.

Ok. Sad for the little people like me but oh well. I was quiet but loyal. I guess in future if something means a lot to me, I should voice it more. Have a bigger presence.

Thanks Steve for everything you've taught me . I've been on an unbelievable journey since I discovered your website a few years ago and for that I will always be thankful!! This forum certainly played a big part in transforming my life.

Good luck with the blog and everything you do in the future.