Shutting Down the Forums (Blog)

[cacheborn]

Seeing that Acting Like Godot has been banned, this has gone beyond ridiculous. Now I wish it would end sooner than later.

I am just taking my backups and then I am out of here.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by cacheborn

Seeing that Acting Like Godot has been banned, this has gone beyond ridiculous. Now I wish it would end sooner than later.

I am just taking my backups and then I am out of here.

Seeing as he just went on a tirade of kittywompus personal attacks against me (very direct name calling), the ban was more than warranted. I'd rather not have several days of that to clean up later. I really don't think he's surprised.

I'm keeping the forums open during this time for people to wrap up discussions, exchange contact info, and talk about where else they want to move to. If people want to indulge in name calling, they can do that on their own sites.

[givejonadollar]

Thanks for the fantastic resource and the website Steve.

I've sent many people your ways over the years and will continue to do the same in the future.

[mikethedrummer44]

Hot DAMN!

Well, I don't quite know what to say...

Haven't posted on here much lately, but I definitely do come around and read the posts close to every day.

It seemed like an odd idea when I first read it in your blog, Steve, but after reading the first page of the "Angela Banned?" thread, it makes complete sense.

Now I get to do some introspection.

Looking back at my first posts, I can't help but laugh. I was a COMPLETELY different person. So different that I can hardly even recognize that I was the one who wrote those posts in the first place.

I joined this forum as a socially and financially frustrated teenager.

It was because of your post "10 Reasons to Never Get a Job" I joined these forums in the first place. After reading that post, I promised myself I would never get a job.

Jesus, that was tough. But I never did. I still don't have a job.

But I'm not frustrated anymore.

I'm self-employed and easily make as much money as I want to. I'm well on my way down the road to a million dollars and I'm also knocking on the door of social abundance (and it's about damn time, I tell ya).

I owe literally all of this to you and these forums.

Yeah, I did all the hard work. But I would've never even thought to do that work if it hadn't been for StevePavlina.com.

So thanks from the bottom of my heart for that.

It's funny how you've decided to shut down the forums at this time, since I've felt myself losing my connection here more and more over the past few months. There's a time to move on from everything, it seems.

What's next in my life? Who knows? All I can do at this point is look to where I was, where I've come from, and what got me there.

And in this case, the answer is StevePavlina.com.

Thanks.

(I might miss this smiley face )

[fascinoma]

Is the forum going to be archived? Will people be able to read the old posts?

[hervens]

Originally Posted by Agota

Steve, first of all, I want to say that you've been a great inspiration to me and your insights helped me a lot over a course of few years during which I've been reading your blog. I've also met a lot of great people here on these forums. Thank you very much for that!

Now, please forgive me for being blunt, but to be honest I think that shutting these forums down is very selfish of you.

I know that most people seem to accept your decision, and obviously we don't have much say in that, but it really doesn't make much sense to me.

Many of active members here are lucky enough to have supportive friends and even mentors or teachers. Many people all over the world aren't that fortunate and have to deal with their problems all alone. These forums are the place where people who are misunderstood by their families or communities can find a supportive group who accept them without judgement and can give wise advice. Think about all the serious thread that have been started here. Think about people who come to these forums to ask for advice how to deal with extreme social anxiety, with abuse they've experienced as kids, with rape, with death or suicides of their loved ones. Think about people who are contemplating suicide and they come to these forums as their last place to go. You have friends and probably mentors. I have friends and mentors. They don't. They are alone.

Steve, obviously, you're the owner of this site and you can do whatever you want with it, but these forums aren't about you, are they? They're about community which we have here, a community where people who are going through very serious hardships all alone can find refuge. Yes, your own growth is your first priority in life..but to be in a place where you've built a massive online community where people who are dealing with abuse, rape and suicidal tendencies can find help and decide to shut it down because you don't feel like it anymore? Come on.

I do understand that you've outgrown these forums and that's perfectly fine.That doesn't change the fact that these forums have tremendous value to many people all over the world. Do you really need to shut these forums down in order to grow, or are you emotional because of the recent events in these forums?

Steve, do you really have to shut those forums down, or can you simply leave these forums to members and mods?

I don't know how much you're doing behind the scenes since I'm not a mod, but community probably won't fall down only because you stop showing up here.

I understand that these forums have your name on it and therefore you feel responsibility for them. What about dropping that responsibility by keeping forums alive but renaming them so it would be a general personal development forum, not Steve Pavlina's Personal Development For Smart People forum and then leaving the community to the mods?

Steve, really, it's your decision, but before shutting down this forum, take a look at all these threads:

My fiancee is afraid of sex

Rape consequences

Coping with the suicide of family member

Dealing with the death of my brother

Considering suicide

These are just few of the threads on really serious issues. How many more threads there are like this?

It's people who need help behind threads like that and they often can't speak to ones around them. They can speak with people here. Why take that away from them?

You said it much better than I ever could =p
With the amount of members getting banned, and all the emotions stirring up, it's not especially easy to oppose Steve, especially publicly.

Although I don't have too many posts, I've been a passive reader for a long time, and these forums have provided tremendous value to me. It's really sad to see it all go.

I just wished Steve remained a little more calm and optimistic throughout this whole situation. The offensive, members (and moderators) could have simply been banned behind the scenes without any discussion as to why or how they were banned, thus giving the impression that everything is running smoothly.

However, it is as it is.
I wish you good luck Steve, and I respect your decision nevertheless.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Thank you Steve.

Thank you Erin.

Thank you to all the mods who, over the years, did an amazing job behind the scenes.

Thank you to all forum members who contributed to making this place what it was.

Thank you to all the lurkers who, albeit silent, did play their part, too.

Love to you all. Bye bye. Go in peace. <3

I'd like to second that.

I wasn't a mod for that long (just a few months, really), but I always knew how much time and work mods put in to keep this place going. Once I became a mod, that was confirmed.

But I want to thank those with whom I moderated, you totally rock, every damned one of you. And I want to thank the mods who were here and gone, retired, whatever. You rock, too.

I am sincerely grateful for all the things I've learned here, and there has been a lot. I've been challenged, supported, rewarded, pushed (in a good way), tweaked, joked, loved, and probably disliked, too, but it's all good, and I am genuinely thankful for all of it, even the stuff I didn't like at the time.

You can contact me via this site: Not My Self (there's a contact page). I'm also on Facebook (fairly easy to spot if you're friends with any other of the PDSP crowd ).

Love to anyone who needs it, and I mean that sincerely. Be well and grow.

[coollikeme]

Thank you!!

[SarahLuvzYu]

Saw this coming since last year... I'm not too sad about it, I've never been part of the cliques here so I never really felt like I was truly part of the community. But that's okay. In fact my experiences here are a reflection of what is happening in my offline life *sigh*.

Auf Wiedersehen everybody, you've all been wonderful

[Agota]

Again, with all due respect to Steve, I think that's incredibly disrespectful of him to make a snap decision to shut down a massive internet community which was built on work of many people, not only him. I don't know what goes behind the scenes, but moderators of this forum seemed to be dedicated and have put a lot of effort into this community. So did many active members. It would be one thing to shut down your blog, your facebook profile or your twitter account, things that you've built on your own. It's another thing to shut down a community which was built by tens of intelligent people. The fact that these forums were started by you and that they are still under your name doesn't change the fact that many people put a lot of their time and efforts into a community which you're willing to throw away simply because you don't feel like it anymore.

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Hi Steve, are you considering archiving the forums? There have been so many little gems of personal development, philosophical insight and stories of success posted here I think it would be unfortunate to lose documentation of them all. Despite what others are saying about you and despite the points I agree with, you did start this community and you were the first inspiration for its growth. While it eventually gained life of its own, you still helped make it. Years from now you and others who participated will want to be able to look back on that, warts and all.

I understand wanting to shut it all down, I'm just speaking from personal experience. Every time I destroyed something that I created because I wanted to stop engaging with it, I always regretted not simply letting it be.

May the light embrace you.

[Arboretor]

From the Conscious Relationships Workshop:

Conscious Relationships Workshop - Steve Pavlina

It's been said that 80% of your happiness in life will come from your relationships. However, this is an area where otherwise intelligent people frequently drop the ball, leaving their social life to the whims of fate, chance -- and quite often, seriously underdeveloped social skills and low emotional intelligence.

Through direct instruction, reflective exercises, and abundant hands-on practice with your fellow participants, CRW will help you identify key gaps in your current social life, understand alternative approaches that are compatible with your personality, and deliberately design a more conscious and intelligent strategy for managing your social life, so that ultimately you get the results you desire.

Oh the irony of it...

[Anna Conlan]

I personally think that it is within Steve's rights to shut it down, although it's sad for everyone who has been a part of this community and especially for those who have posted here often, but didn't everyone (including moderators) know that one day it might end? And that the person who owns the forum, essentially owns all the posts and can do what they like with it?

I don't know about other peoples' personal gripes with Steve, but is it fair to criticise the owner of this forum for essentially doing what he wants with it? Saying it's selfish, etc? Surely all members and moderators knew the terms when they signed up and got involved? Moderators knew they would be working for free, building up someone else's site for free. But no one was forced to work on terms they didn't accept. The way I see it, it was very good of people to work for free. And it was very good of Steve to create this space for people.

[fundoomaster]

I have been regular visitor of this site for past many weeks. I infact was going to post my personal problems to seek some help from your guys. After reading few insipiring blogs of Steve, I formed a great image of him in my mind. To me, he was full of awakened consiousness, always ready to help others with so many PD articles or threads. I had developed huge respect for him.

But whatever happening for the past many days on this or other related thread, I am shocked to see Steve's responses / reactions /reasonings. I seriously doubt if he is same Steve. Which one is the real ? For me these two are different.

I am sorry I personally find this rude and just opposite to what we teach others for PD.

Something missing, Steve.

I am no one on this forum to comment. But couldnt stop myself posting here.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Angela, Angela, Angela. Everywhere I go, I keep hearing that name.

You're overplaying her role. Try to understand this. Her name comes up only because someone started a thread "Angela Banned?" and asked why Angela was banned, and then Steve replied blah blah blah.

Now, just in case you didn't notice - Angela was banned around the same time as Zephyrus, Elucidate, Indiana, Mariana Trench, Ssandra and God knows how many people.

That other forum doesn't belong to Angela. It wasn't created by her. She's just one of many, many other members there. Try to understand that.

The point people who are glad to see Angela go are making, at least in my case, has little or absolutely nothing to do with whatever part she may or may not have played in this disaster. I don't know what happened, beyond what I've read here, and I don't have an opinion about that, since I feel so far from what was going on.

What I have always felt on this forum was that it was dominated by strong personalities with an occasional-to-frequent uncompassionate edge (except when dealing with each other - then they had all the love and compassion in the world) and there was a clique of people here from the start that I and most others were never accepted into. It may have been those same people who started and also then were invited to the second forum. I don't know, because I don't know anymore who was in that clique besides Angela, since I haven't been coming here a lot recently. Also, I am not about to join another forum or group in which that kind of person is taking part.

One thing I appreciate now, though, is feeling the freedom to write these things here now after all these years.

As for getting banned at this point, that's like being pushed out of a crashing plane - it's going down anyway, so how does it matter if you get banned?

And for the record, I distinctly remember Steve alluding to shutting down the forums last year or some time ago. I remember it, because the idea of it made a huge impact on me.

And furthermore, I am relieved to see Steve reacting like this. All these years he seemed to be perfect. He rarely ever admitted making mistakes or never seemed to have sympathy for poor slobs like me who are basically run by their heart--he made it sound like everything should be easy. In his blog post, though, he categorically admits his fallibility and embraces it, like a human being.

How can you follow someone who is perfect, who never has the kinds of problems people really have in life--like dealing with emotion or ego?? By pretending you are perfect too? I think that is the opposite of personal growth and ensures you will never progress.

[Anna Conlan]

Originally Posted by fundoomaster

I have been regular visitor of this site for past many weeks. I infact was going to post my personal problems to seek some help from your guys. After reading few insipiring blogs of Steve, I formed a great image of him in my mind. To me, he was full of awakened consiousness, always ready to help others with so many PD articles or threads. I had developed huge respect for him.

But whatever happening for the past many days on this or other related thread, I am shocked to see Steve's responses / reactions /reasonings. I seriously doubt if he is same Steve. Which one is the real ? For me these two are different.

I am sorry I personally find this rude and just opposite to what we teach others for PD.

Something missing, Steve.

I am no one on this forum to comment. But couldnt stop myself posting here.

I once briefly dated a guy who was a writer. He had written a lot of inspiring content and when I met him I thought he was amazing. He had to be, since from his writing he seemed to understand life and live it well. So well that he was teaching and inspire others.

But I soon realised that the person who wrote the inspiring content was not perfect. Or even amazing in my eyes. I was disappointed. In fact, he had his challenges in life and sometimes struggled even with the stuff he taught others.

I had put him on a pedestal.

I realised that people who teach personal development are not necessarily perfect. They might have problems like everyone else, but they can also inspire people and give good advice.

I guess because of that experience, I find it odd how people are criticising Steve for having an ego and having emotions (such as feeling betrayed or whatever), and acting on them. We all do that. We're all human, aren't we? (And I'm not saying that like I think it's a weakness. I feel it's important to honour emotions and to have enough of an ego to be a functional human being with boundaries.)

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by SarahLuvzYu

Saw this coming since last year... I'm not too sad about it, I've never been part of the cliques here so I never really felt like I was truly part of the community. But that's okay. In fact my experiences here are a reflection of what is happening in my offline life *sigh*.

Auf Wiedersehen everybody, you've all been wonderful

As far as I know, there were no cliques formed, just friendships formed.. I mean I think EVERY poster, would have had some biases towards certain posters, and it's just really, that who really had the time to read from everyone

Maybe on this forum there were some opinions that were more popular than other opinions I'd say.

But anyway, I found you were awesome & smart & think you have a bright future.. Maybe cross paths someday, since you live in NZ..

[danas]

From a birds eye view perspective I think Steve may regret this down the line.
I never felt that about any decisions he made, but about this I feel he might, and when I say "down the line" this may only happen when he's "crossed over" and his spirit guides show him what affect this forums had on so many people. How many Lives changed and lives literally saved, and how many more could've been changed and saved if the forum would have stayed.

I came here by chance when it just started in 2006 trying to beat my insomnia, I was an artist with a big overdraft working in 4 different teachings jobs. Now Im a millionaire and a successful artist.
I owe much of this to this forum, for I learned so much here… and applied it to my life.

I think this forum is Steves greatest contribution to mankind so far.
There all so many self help books, Im now re-reading PDSP by the way, and its truly a great book, but there are many many great books out there.
Also there are plenty of good bloggers, OK, Steve is a great blogger, and has a great mind….
but still this forum was where Steve really made a dent in the universe. Maybe without even knowing to what extent.

I always thought this. I always wondered if Steve was aware of the extent of this. That there are people all across the world, who are choosing better paths for themselves thanks to this forum. And not only them, their friends too.
My friends don't know that I post here, as I love the freedom to say here what I would never share in my private life, but Ive passed on a lot of the material I learned here, and so many others lives have changed too…..

Anyway, Im sad, Im not really digesting it yet, but life does go on. By nature Im an optimist. So I always think "Its all for the best"
But I will miss you.
I didn't always share all the details here, as I live quite a busy life, but you all changed my life entirely.
I love you, thank you, Im sorry....

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Anna Conlan

I had put him on a pedestal.

AnnaConlan, I think you make very good points..

Anybody who hates Steve Pavlina now, should ask themselves what they expected from him and why?

I don't know if I agree with you or agota because I don't know exactly why Steve Pavlina is closing the forum.

I guess though, maybe Steve Pavlina's entitled to keep his feelings on the matter rather private.

[fundoomaster]

Originally Posted by Anna Conlan

I once briefly dated a guy who was a writer. He had written a lot of inspiring content and when I met him I thought he was amazing. He had to be, since from his writing he seemed to understand life and live it well. So well that he was teaching and inspire others.

But I soon realised that the person who wrote the inspiring content was not perfect. Or even amazing in my eyes. I was disappointed. In fact, he had his challenges in life and sometimes struggled even with the stuff he taught others.

I had put him on a pedestal.

I realised that people who teach personal development are not necessarily perfect. They might have problems like everyone else, but they can also inspire people and give good advice.

I guess because of that experience, I find it odd how people are criticising Steve for having an ego and having emotions (such as feeling betrayed or whatever), and acting on them. We all do that. We're all human, aren't we? (And I'm not saying that like I think it's a weakness. I feel it's important to honour emotions and to have enough of an ego to be a functional human being with boundaries.)

True, we all are human and we have similar emotions. But reactions like killing this forum and banning lot of people ??? sounds immature.

And the reason behind this step appears to be childish to me personaly. It may have some other strong reasons backstage. Even then, this forum should be kept alive for others to seek some guidance or help.

Anyways, he is the owner. He has full right to decide what to do. Best Wishes

[freddy]

"From a birds eye view perspective I think Steve may regret this down the line.
I never felt that about any decisions he made, but about this I feel he might, and when I say "down the line" this may only happen when he's "crossed over" and his spirit guides show him what affect this forums had on so many people. How many Lives changed and lives literally saved, and how many more could've been changed and saved if the forum would have stayed."

Danas Great post,

I wonder if in shutting it down if he may open it back up at a later point maybe to thin out the poster as it has gotten quite large. I would lkie to hope he would.
Thanks Steve for all the great information you have given us to use.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by Anna Conlan

I once briefly dated a guy who was a writer. He had written a lot of inspiring content and when I met him I thought he was amazing. He had to be, since from his writing he seemed to understand life and live it well. So well that he was teaching and inspire others.

But I soon realised that the person who wrote the inspiring content was not perfect. Or even amazing in my eyes. I was disappointed. In fact, he had his challenges in life and sometimes struggled even with the stuff he taught others

It is specifically because I saw Steve as projecting himself as perfect that I did not admire him or feel he was someone I could look to for guidance. From a superficial, egotistical point of view, you want his approval for everything you do in your interactions with him, but that has nothing to do with being helped. I don't get it - is it because everyone thinks they are perfect, and so they can only be taught by someone they believe is perfect? Am I the only one who knows that someone who is perfect can't help me, because they have not struggled with or overcome the problems I have to deal with? This is why I feel glad that he reacted this way - now I know he is dealing with the same kind of problems I deal with...and maybe he will gain more insight from this experience in how to help people dealing with the same kinds of issues in the future.

[Frans]

What a bunch of pathetic comments the last days...

Steve, if I were you, I would close these forums immediately, remove all signatures, outgoing links etc and reformat the content so that there's only a searchable archive left.

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by Anna Conlan

I realised that people who teach personal development are not necessarily perfect. They might have problems like everyone else, but they can also inspire people and give good advice.

I guess because of that experience, I find it odd how people are criticising Steve for having an ego and having emotions (such as feeling betrayed or whatever), and acting on them. We all do that. We're all human, aren't we? (And I'm not saying that like I think it's a weakness. I feel it's important to honour emotions and to have enough of an ego to be a functional human being with boundaries.)

Maybe it's less about being not-perfect, and more about actually admitting that one is wrong, or to apologize to people who feel (rightfully, IMO) wronged?

She didn't.

What happened was that Steve had a sudden fit of irrationality and went nuts. He imagined that his moderators and other long-time contributors were launching some complex and elaborate conspiracy against him.

When he regained some semblance of calm, he felt too embarrassed to back down and admit that he was wrong. So he quickly said that well, he had wanted to close down the forums all along. That is probably true as well, but disappointingly he has failed to apologize to his hapless ex-moderators and other long-time contributors, whom he had impulsively banned.

Now his less-perceptive and less-informed fans are mollycoddling him, instead of pressing him to face up to the growth opportunity staring at him in his face.

To admit that he was wrong. And to apologize for his attacks on the good character and integrity of his victims.

I like to tell the story straight. The fawning and mollycoddling is for the weak-willed and those who don't know the real facts any better. But for what it's worth, I will speak up for those who have been unfairly accused, unfairly banned and unfairly maligned.

bold mine

[invisiblehouses]

Can't figure out where else to put this, so I might as well put it here.

It's been fun, folks, even though I was something of a sporadic participant. Learned a lot, went "the hell?" a few times, and had some fascinating discussions.

If I don’t see you no more in this world
Well I’ll meet you in the next one, and don’t be late
’Cause I’m a voodoo child
Lord knows I’m a voodoo child.

[Anna Conlan]

All the best to everyone.

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by Anna Conlan

No, I didn't know.
[...]
As I said, I don't know fully what went on so this post is all pointless conjecture really.

So why even start? This forum is chaotic enough as it is without people making up their own, uninformed theories, IMHO.

[Manuel]

Boy, this thread and the "angela banned?" one are better than any soap/drama I have ever seen! lol

One thing is certain: this forum is going out in STYLE!

[wolfgang]

Steve: I know you said you started the forum for personal reasons, but I'd say it provided a business function that might change your hits on the blog. Of coarse that's nothing you haven't already thought, I'm sure. Just saying.

And in that light I wonder if you might open comments on your blog posts. Although I remember you did that before the forums and eventually had to shut that off too. But I think people like the chance to discuss the blog topics.

[wolfgang]

Hexagram 43, Deciding
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/free_...yf/011111.html
Key Questions

What do you stand for?
How do you define yourself?
What belongs in your realm, and where do you need to make a clean break?
Oracle

‘Deciding, tell it in the king’s chambers.
With truth, call out, there is danger.
Notify your own city.
Fruitless to take up arms;
Fruitful to have a direction to go.’

The old Chinese character for ‘Deciding’ shows a hand holding up a token – asserting your identity and right to be heard, even in the king’s chambers. This is where decision begins, at the very centre of power. That centre might be inside your own mind, and yet still not feel safe. Declaring the truth loud and clear is dangerous; it stirs up old ghosts, inner and outer. Yet better this than ignoring and neglecting them.

As the message of the decision spreads out from the centre, it is fruitless to take up arms: this is a time to communicate, not fight. It will serve you better to focus with clear intention on what you’re moving towards, rather than what you’re reacting against.

There you have it. That reading is spot on, yes?!!!!

All who are having suffering over this contemplate this reading in honesty to yourself.

What's interesting is this I Ching reading is fixed - no moving lines. If you know I Ching you know what that means. It means there isn't another hexagram that this state goes to. Kind of rare. Usually you get 1-3 moving lines and a resolution hexagram or the next state of affairs that the current state morphs to.