Making Peace With Death (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Making Peace With Death

[Akashic_Librarian]

Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. Another maserpiece from the maestro himself.

[Wanderer]

Really enjoyed this one Steve. Nice one

[joylangtry]

Excellent...

Reminds me of once seeing Paula Deen (a Cook on the Food Network) on Oprah, saying that ever since she accepted her children's death, she isn't afraid of anything anymore. Naturally, this required some explanation... and as most of us would rather take on pain/illness/injury/death ourselves than see it inflicted upon our children, it's pretty freeing to acknowledge this. No, her children were still very much alive... but she'd accepted that they would, indeed, someday die, and she was able to allow the thought without pause and pain and fear. I imagine you are on that same footing, too, Steve.

Wonderful article, Steve. Thank you!

Love,
Joy

[ArthurHung]

An incredible piece. Now how to get the media to read this article, truly understand it and apply this understanding to their work, hmm...

We would end up with broadcasts inspiring people to raise their levels of consciousness instead of basically telling them to grieve or show superficial sympathy by contemplating “how fortunate" they have it by being where they are in life.

[Paul Park]

I've been thinking about this topic for a long time. Last fall, my nephew was killed in a car accident and I was asked to say a few words at the funeral. My infant son passed away many years ago and as I prepared for my nephew's funeral, I reflected on the similarities and differences between the two lives. When my son died, at five weeks old, I was just getting to know him, but I mourned the lost potential and the lost dreams. When my nephew died, I thought how blessed his parents were to have 20 great years, and how they would miss him and that they, like me, would also miss out on his wedding, his children.....

David Hawkins states that our time of death is ordained at our time of birth. I'm not sure if he's right, but I found comfort in the thought that I have no control over my time or the time of my loved ones, so I might as well not worry. This preordination thought also took away some of the guilt I may have felt and the anger toward others over the death of a loved one.

At some point, I realized that for me it doesn't matter whether the time of death is preordained or not, because all of our deaths are inevitable and we rarely get to chose the time, place or cause.

I laughed when I read the part about how you would chose to die. I used to always say, that I wanted to go out with my boots on and guns blazing. A throwback to my cowboy youth

[Tempest]

Love this piece! A few days ago I was listening to a CD of Esther Hicks channeling Abraham and a guy was wondering about death, and wanted his fears assuaged. Abraham replied that "they are as dead as can be." Shoot, not having to deal with a physical body and moral limitations sounds like fun

[InJoy]

Great, thought-provoking article. Thanks, Steve.

I wish I could say I'm where Steve is on the subject, but I'm just not right now. I cannot say (with any conviction) that I am ready to die. I have a young child for whom I dearly desire to complete the process of raising to adulthood.

With all of my other goals and aspirations, even the big ones, I can imagine having a feeling of slight disappointment at having not completed them. The idea of leaving my little child without a mother, though, feels unbearable to me.

Equally unbearable is the idea of my child and husband dying and leaving me behind. If they were to go, I think I'd want nothing more than to go with them. I admire the ideas another poster put up about that gal who accepted the pending death of her children. I wish I knew how to do that. Whenever I even get close to the idea, I recoil from the pain of the mere thought.

I'm not afraid of my own death in general. In fact, I'm very curious about it. Before my child was born, I felt perfectly ready to go at any time. Funny how a little child can change all the rules by which I thought I lived.

[Dan.Linehan]

Great article Steve. It really hits home.

[annie]

Love this line of thinking....great article.

The only sorrow at a death is for the loneliness for those who must continue on.

Reminds me of a true story. A man was in the office waiting for his associate (LeGrand Richards) to get off the phone. He couldn't help but overhear the conversation. His associate was making statements such as "Did he now?" "Well, good for him!"

After putting down the received, the associate remarked to his friend that he just received news of his brothers passing.

Just goes to show a little different perspective!

[Akashic_Librarian]

Wow Annie cool story.

I have never been effected by death even when i was young. It was just like..oh ok death...big deal. Being 16 though have to deal with parents and adult figures getting all stupid about it. And anything i say is just thrown back at me with an insult. I understand this type of action. But it still hurts. Ahh for the days I can be my own man....

[Nelson]

Loved this article - I was begining to think that Steve had lost his touch or whad nothing new to write about, but man, oh man was I wrong! This is the quality that drew me to this site in the first place and is probably one of the best articles to date.

Thanks Steve

[Andrew Brunelle]

Been thinking about this for a little while, and just recently I made my peace with death, no longer letting fear of death hold me back. If I die, I die. It is really no big deal. Making peace with death, and knowing you are unconditionally safe here really helps to alleviate fear. Thank you for the timely post.

[ken nubo]

The day you accept death, the more risk taking tolerance you become

[xrcv]

Best post in hmmmm, 2 months? The last one that I liked that much were the series of articles on financial wealth Keep up the good work, Steve

[persephonevii]

I really liked this article. But the best part was the way you envisioned your death, Steve. I always thought getting riddled with bullets was a gruesome, awful way to die. But I suppose it would be gruesome and awful for onlookers (especially any loved ones), but to yourself it would be almost exhilarating and there would be definitely no confusion over whether you were dead or not.

[BlueCrane]

Brilliant Steve - and very encouraging to see you and so many other people commenting here feeling this way.

I thought most people would call me nuts with my own opinion on this when I wrote about it in my blog-article 'How a Perfect Day in Cape Town Can Go the other Way' about my father's death. I guess I needed your reassurance this month in my attempts to live a unique life, to do all the unusual stuff I feel called to do.

Uncertainty may be uncomfortable, but it is a major driving-force for anyone's growth. Certainty on the other hand prompts you to go into situations fully and explore everything there is to know about them. We need them both, like life and death.

[mjukr]

Steve, understanding that many people don't believe in the "afterlife" as you describe[0], could you argue that death is still nothing to fear in that regard?

I mean, we all know that our physical time is limited, and so we should enjoy every minute and live with no regrets. Why does there need to be a metaphysical component for that to be true?

How many people can really claim they've communicated with the dead? Very few. So how are the rest of us (especially the non-religious) supposed to approach the concept?

Believe me, I really want to see things from your perspective, but at the moment that requires too much blind faith. It's all just too easy.

--mjukr

[0] I know, I know... we'll "see it when we believe it" :P

[wolfgang]

The blog has acknowledged homage to death or even people that are killed.

It also states the idea that we live after physical death. This is meaning something lives on that still has an identity of some kind.

And that Steve doesn't have to prove it becuase he says he has direct knowledge of life without his physical body.

Now, what exactly is it that can live on without the cells of your body? Apperently there's a way to know what that is before you die and that makes it all the easier when you do die. It won't be unfamiliar to still be a conscious individual. I've always thought the part of you that lives on is very different that the parts of us that belive something or another, including even beliving there's life after death. That the part that continues to exist is not really another version of your ego identity that is individualized.

It sounds like Steve is saying, don't worry this 3d ego things is a little blip, watch out don't get attached but also it continues to exist as a separate individualized consciousness without the body - so you get to hold on to something after life too? Guess, that's my question - what part of my ego is self created to exist in 3d and what part is able to continue?

How is it that someone can know this for themselves? Meditate a lot or somehting? I would also like to have that feeling that something continues.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by mjukr

Steve, understanding that many people don't believe in the "afterlife" as you describe[0], could you argue that death is still nothing to fear in that regard?

My dad used to say something I found really helpful, especially back in the days when I considered myself atheist:

There are only two possibilities. Either you die and some part of you lives on, or you die and no part of you lives on. If the first is true, you don't really die, and there's nothing to fear. If the second is true, you'll wink out of existence and never know it, and there's nothing to fear.

[ZHereford]

"There are only two possibilities. Either you die and some part of you lives on, or you die and no part of you lives on. If the first is true, you don't really die, and there's nothing to fear. If the second is true, you'll wink out of existence and never know it, and there's nothing to fear."

InJoy your dad sounds like a very insightful man. That makes it a win/win situation.

Personally, I don't think we get off that easily. I can't imagine that all the knowledge and experience we accumulate in this life is for nothing. I believe in reincarnation and that we never die.

In physics, the law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; it can only change form.

[Sam988]

I disagree about steve's article.

While it is indeed a brilliant article for those who share the same beliefs steve does (that we are spiritual beings), other people, like me, on the other hand, aren't so sure of that, i mean, no one is completely sure of what comes after we die.

Even steve can't argue about the fact that no one is certain that the ultimate truth is that we are spiritual beings. What he bases himself is on his own experience, which is, of course, subjective.

I believe, based on my experience (therefore my belief is as valid as steve's belief), in the transhumanism. There is no possible way we can know that death is just a path to another plain of existence and we won't cease to exist after we die. Therefore, i'd rather do everything i can to not die (i believe raymond kurzweil's theories) than to just accept it as a natural proccess of life. And if i fail on my quest for immortality on earth and die, THEN, after i failed, i hope steve is right.

See the difference? I have more chances here of lasting than steve does.

I don't want to discredit steve, actually, all i would want is that steve was right, but it's IMPOSSIBLE to really know.

[hadashi]

Glad to see that Edward de Bono's word 'po' is alive and kicking. Po is the term that the man coined to preface any provocative remark used to shake people out of a rut of habitual thinking. Steve uses it is spirit when he proclaims his preference for dying with all guns blazing.

As for the everlasting life thing...

Since young I've never feared death. Looking back at how my life started - earliest memories and impressions etc - I could never see a time when I 'switched on'. Therefore, I could never envisage a time when I would switch off.

More recently I've been quite skeptical of the whole nature of time as it is perceived. I feel that at best it's just another dimension. Your body, now, it has height, breadth, thickness . . . and longevity. You don't stretch out your arms and look at your fingertips and mourn that they don't reach further. That I don't have Muhammed Ali's reach - so what? I am complete. I occupy my space and time fully.

[Hari.c]

" If you’d had the experiences Erin and I have had, you wouldn’t worry about it so much"
If you could share those experiences in this blog it will be more useful.
Thanks for the great article Steve.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by mjukr

Steve, understanding that many people don't believe in the "afterlife" as you describe, could you argue that death is still nothing to fear in that regard?

I don't believe in psychics or an afterlife (I really have no idea What Comes After and I'm not particularly interested), and I do not fear a physical death.

I do, admittedly, fear a fruitless death, because I'm not convinced that I've done all I can and it'd be rather annoying to be unable to continue doing what I can. Hopefully, I don't be bumming around the astral plane or whatever sulking about it, though.

I do recommend reading Morihei Ueshiba's Art of Peace. I was arguing over martial arts with a friend just a few nights ago when it came up, so I've been re-reading it lately.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I don't believe in psychics or an afterlife (I really have no idea What Comes After and I'm not particularly interested), and I do not fear a physical death.

I just wanted to point out that the fact of a person not bearing the tought of ceasing to exist does not mean one hasn't necessarily had or done what they wanted in life.

[Mr.Mustache]

Hooray! A post that isn't controversial.

[Paul C]

A greatly written article. Well done. I feel I still have things to accept that haven't been already.

Thank you.

[Dive Bomb]

I suggest everybody re-read this article while listening to Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven or Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb..It gives the article a different feel like "whoa..who are we really?"

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Sam988

I just wanted to point out that the fact of a person not bearing the tought of ceasing to exist does not mean one hasn't necessarily had or done what they wanted in life.

I'm equally distraught at the thought of a life sentence in prison or being placed inside a stasis field. It's not the death itself that I'm afraid of.

If you want to be metaphorical, then those are forms of death, too, and for precisely that reason.

I think it's a step closer to being fearless when you can more finely distinguish what it is you're afraid of.

Incidentally, if what Steve has described is real, then a physical death wouldn't be such a big deal. I'd just go bother Steve and tell him what to do. It'd be kind of cool to find out of possession works... And walking through walls... (Sorry, I just finished watching Heroes.)