What's Your Secret? (Newsletter #34)

[inverse Paranoid]

Steve posted a link in his most recent newsletter to Bruce Muzik's TEDx talk called The BIG Secret Nobody Wants To Tell. (If you haven't taken the time to watch it yet, I'd highly recommend watching it before reading on.)

Bruce closes the talk with some very powerful words:

Things may get a lot worse before they get better when you begin sharing the secrets you've been hiding from the world. You may end up on the receiving end of a lot of pain and anger when you first share those secrets. But I want to promise you something. If you open your heart and take responsibility for having kept those secrets over the years, and sit with the people who you've upset until they're complete, I promise you an aliveness will return to your life like you've never experienced before. And it won't be just a fleeting, temporary fix that most of us are looking for outside of ourselves. It'll be a way of being that stays with you.

So if you have no interest in self-liberation, please don't remember a word I said. And, very please, don't share your secrets with anybody. Because once you do, a world without numbers awaits you. A world filled with aliveness.

So the question I want to leave you with is, what's your secret? And how honest and open and real are you willing to be if sharing it will bring you back to life?

The timing around me seeing this video couldn't have been more perfect. Just days before I was inspired to completely revamp my "About Me" page from a few short paragraphs that vaguely described my philosophy on life, to a striking tell-all revealing all of the things I might want to hide about who I am from the world.

Sharing My Secrets: (Excerpted from My Bold, New About Page)

I never graduated high school, and don’t even have a GED. I’m in mid-to-high five figure debt. I haven’t filed taxes for the last three years. I’m behind on my child support by over a year now. I’ve only seen my now six year old son once in his entire life. I haven’t had a job since 2004. I’m underqualified for all the jobs I’d be good at and overqualified for all the jobs I can get; I even tried to enter the military a few years ago and was denied during my first recruitment call because I didn’t have a diploma. Inter-personally I spent most of my adult life alone, at times spending 90%+ of my waking time in solitary thought. I went the first 26 years of my life without a girlfriend and when I did find a girlfriend, she was married, and our relationship has since led to her getting divorced.

So, to echo Bruce's powerful words: What's your secret? And how honest and open and real are you willing to be?

[Le Roi]

Wow. I read through your about page and that's awesome. Kudos to sharing that and to go through that experience. I feel more of a kinship and understanding of you now.

[inverse Paranoid]

Thanks Le Roi, I really appreciate that feedback!

I had an experience recently with my gf's mom. She was in town from TN but apparently wasn't comfortable with meeting me, even though she knows next to nothing about me. I was all fine with this, but then she just started going to great lengths to avoid seeing me. And my gf was the one with the car so she was being expected to spend all this time away from me and chaueffer her mom around. And so I said, "well, **** this. I'm just going to go over there with [my gf] and charge right in to the situation." But by that point her mom had already ordered a cab because my gf was taking too long to come back to pick her up. I got there just in time to storm in and say "hi" with a super powerful vibration about me. She walked right past me and didn't make any eye contact.

But that whole experience got me to thinking. I felt super empowered and "big" around her mom. Even though her mom has a very strong personality and stands her ground with ease in everyday life. But the reason I felt so fearless around her was because I didn't have anything to lose. She already thought I was bad for her daughter and had pre-judgments about me, so any confrontation with her I assumed could only be positive, because I didn't need her to think good things of me.

I really loved who I was in the moment when I was so fearless. And I realized the only reason I don't allow myself to be that way all the time is because I perceive that a lot of people have a positive opinion about me but have not been exposed to all the controversial things I might have done, or that might be a part of my current life. And if they were exposed to that, they might no longer like me as much. So with most people who only know a little bit or medium bit about me, I have something to lose. And I hold back things that might cause them to look down upon me because I don't want to lose their respect.

Anyway, once I realized this, it became super clear to me that if I could just let go of the thought that I need to make / continue to have a good impression with most people, I could have much richer experiences. This is something that Steve talks about in his Judge Not post about leading with your differences rather than your sameness. And Bruce hints at this in his TED talk when he talks about how he "never could have predicted" the awesome benefits that came with sharing his secret.

[HiImJeremy]

I watched that ted talk as well. It was incredible.

Right after that i came out of the spiritual closet and announced to everyone that i'm a psychic and a healer. I made a post about it here. I felt lighter. It was a huge weight on me. I was so concerned about what others would think that i denied myself how good i would feel if i just lived genuinely.

Thank you for sharing your secret xxx

[veloci]

I find a useful perspective changer.

"What is my secret? Do I dare to reveal it?"

If you have a crush on someone, but never tell him or her you have a secret. If you like to do this, but you want to keep it 'secretive' you have a secret.

I see that for most of us, are secrets are our "shames, desires, love, so forth," but justified by fears so we never say them. Isn't it funny though how we have been confronting fears throughout our lives? Do people realize how much courage they already have? Do they realize the importance of honesty? It makes the world a better place in the long run. Please people, start living authentically by revealing your secrets. They are not as special as you guys think. lol, what an eye-opener for me.

[inverse Paranoid]

Originally Posted by HiImJeremy

I watched that ted talk as well. It was incredible.

Right after that i came out of the spiritual closet and announced to everyone that i'm a psychic and a healer. I made a post about it here. I felt lighter. It was a huge weight on me. I was so concerned about what others would think that i denied myself how good i would feel if i just lived genuinely.

This is awesome. I lit up while reading it. Especially when you got to the part "Right after that i came out of the spiritual closet." Great to see you embracing who you really are, Jeremy!

Are you still doing your 100 intuitive reading challenge? I'd love to partake.

I have some cool new techniques/services I've been developing myself and, now that I think about it, they would be really conducive to growing your psychic skill-set. I've been looking for a more practical use for a vibrational tuning technique that I've been developing, and perhaps amplifying your psychic skills would be a good fit. I'd love to test it out with you (would make a neat exchange for an intuitive reading ), so if you'd be interested in hearing more, shoot me a PM.

[DoubleMe]

Secret 1
I am 38, male and sexually frustrated.
Never had a gf, kiss or sex (except once with a prostitute last year, which was interesting but a failure, cause i couldn't keep an erection till the end. I blame it on the antidepressants i am on).

Secret 2
I like to suck on my thumb. Never stopped doing it since i was a child. I like it, it's relaxing.

Secret 3
I've got 100.000$ in savings although i only work part-time. That's pretty cool.

[inverse Paranoid]

Originally Posted by DoubleMe

Secret 1
I am 38, male and sexually frustrated.
Never had a gf, kiss or sex (except once with a prostitute last year, which was interesting but a failure, cause i couldn't keep an erection till the end. I blame it on the antidepressants i am on).

Wow, what an awesome share! Seriously, I feel good just reading about it because I know how good it can feel to not hide things like that.

One of the things that really helped me release resistance to having a girlfriend was noticing that I had a fear of being judged by others for who I was with. Being judged for having low standards, etc. What really helped a lot to alleviate this was I put myself to a challenge where I either had to get laid in the next 5 days or go streaking as a consequence. I figured running around naked in public might help me release some hidden resistance.

Anyway, since I had such a short time period I threw all my old "rules" and "standards" out the window and just focused on how much I wanted to get laid. On day 1 I posted a craigslist ad in my area (and linked to it from my blog) that read:

milwaukee craigslist > personals > casual encounters

Looking to Give Dick to Underserved Market - m4w - 26 (Milwaukee)
Date: 2010-06-29, 11:52PM CDT

I haven't been laid in 2 years, 5 months and 29 days. So in an effort to revamp my struggling sex life I've decided to slash my standards now through July 3rd!

For 5 days only I will be giving dick to well qualified candidates who meet the stringent requirements laid out below:

* Must be a 3 on a Scale of 1-10 (or best offer).
* Vagina must be in good working order (I don't want to get there and find out you only have half a labia).
* Must be RELATIVELY disease-free.

I would have taken more time to put this Craigslist ad together but I decided to hardcore procrastinate instead. This should be indicative of what kind of effort you can expect me to put into getting laid, so come horny and cum often.

Posting something like this publicly felt so freeing (especially since I decided to have fun with it and almost turn it into a joke), and I actually got an email from one of my local blog readers saying that she would like to have sex with me but was choosing not to because she didn't want to complicate her life. And then I connected with someone on OKcupid and we had some great hour+ long conversations. I didn't get laid within the five day period so I ended up going streaking at midnight on the 4th of July (after asking every chick at the July 4th party if they wanted to have sex). Less than a week later I ended up hooking with up with that chick I met on OKcupid and getting laid for the first time in over 2+ years.

Secret 3
I've got 100.000$ in savings although i only work part-time. That's pretty cool.

I think it's really cool that you threw in a "positive" secret as well. That's awesome!

except once with a prostitute last year, which was interesting but a failure, cause i couldn't keep an erection till the end

I've had some experiences in not being able to keep it up, as well. For me it always seem to be not being able to focus enough on sex / what I'm desiring. It happens sometimes with my girlfriend now too, but I don't consider it a problem because I know that it just means I'm not fully in the mood or something is on my mind that is preventing me from fully engaging in sex. Once I clear up whatever's on my mind I have no trouble staying hard all night long.

Since you were able to get it up in the first place, it's probably not a physiological problem. I don't know anything about you personally, but I know that if I were in your situation, I might be focused on what the prostitute was thinking about me, or if I was doing it right, or any of a number of thoughts that would take my mind off the fact that there's a vagina in front of me waiting for penetration. If I can stay focused on how much I love vagina, all is well in the world of my erections; but when my mind strays, we start losing altitude.

[DoubleMe]

Originally Posted by inverse Paranoid

I figured running around naked in public might help me release some hidden resistance.

Haha, i should try that.
Thx for your response, the sex stuff was an interesting read.

[HiImJeremy]

Originally Posted by inverse Paranoid

This is awesome. I lit up while reading it. Especially when you got to the part "Right after that i came out of the spiritual closet." Great to see you embracing who you really are, Jeremy!

Are you still doing your 100 intuitive reading challenge? I'd love to partake.

I have some cool new techniques/services I've been developing myself and, now that I think about it, they would be really conducive to growing your psychic skill-set. I've been looking for a more practical use for a vibrational tuning technique that I've been developing, and perhaps amplifying your psychic skills would be a good fit. I'd love to test it out with you (would make a neat exchange for an intuitive reading ), so if you'd be interested in hearing more, shoot me a PM.

Thanks Mate!

I am still doing the 100 intuitive readings. Taking my time through it especially now because i'm packing to move at the moment.

I'll send you a PM about your last paragraph and we can talk more about this. I'm a little confused lol!

xxx