Subjective Reality and Nonviolence (Blog)

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by OldTex

It's not the events but our reactions to these events that signal our internal conflicts.

Well said. Pay attention folks that was worth your time reading it. ^^^^

[Erin Pavlina]

OldTex is right.

I wasn't aware of the event either until Steve wrote about it.

The exact same event causes different reactions and emotions in people. That suggests that there are socially conditioned reactions we are supposed to have to certain events.

Let's say I tell you that my mother died and you express your condolences to me and tell me how sorry you are for my loss, but then I mention she was suffering terribly and I see it as a huge blessing that she doesn't have to suffer anymore. Same event, different reaction. (my mom is fine by the way).

When things happen and you have a strong reaction ask yourself if that's the reaction you want to have or if you are having a reaction forced upon you by the media or social conditioning or marketing or past experience or peer pressure, etc.

I wrote about this in my blog entry: Choosing Our Emotions

[Dive Bomb]

Originally Posted by JonathanBrowne

hat's interesting is that as a child I used to have thoughts like "what if the entire universe around me is just something I am dreaming up" but then I started to think about it more deeply. If everything was dreamed up by me, I could hardly be surprised, amazed, awed or in any way phased by anything that goes on around me. On the other hand, how would taking away all surprise and emotion be empowering? Then again, it is possible to surprise yourself with your own thoughts, and dreams certainly are strange and unexpected. Furthermore though, why is that dreams are not consistent like reality, if reality is a dream? If this is a subjective reality, you do not exist. How do you feel about not existing? I'll tell you, it makes me a bit uncomfortable that you think I don't exist. I promise you, I do.
W
Steve, this is a challenge to you. Since you've gone down this road, are you willing to take it all the way? If the deaths of these 33 people are meaningless except as a mirror of issues within yourself, then your telling me you would not feel it was a tragedy if your wife was killed tonight by a mysterious gunman? Then if you moved on and got over your grief, why would your wife not come back since of course it is your subjective reality. Are you willing to say that if your wife was killed, she must have been blocking your development and empowerment or it would not have happened?

Well unless you're a pro lucid dreamer, I'm sure you've had dreams that seem so real that you woke up feeling great emotion like fear thinking "holy crap was that real?"..it's funny that your mind can re-create reality so vividly making people seem real within the dream when they're just projections of your mind. Some may argue that when you dream you actually enter into different realities so to speak and if you can control how you dream you might be able to be consistent.

[machine]

Originally Posted by Hsiang-Lin

Steve, by the way, his age is 23 not 19 according to Wikipedia.

This is inconsequential. So now the number 23 becomes significant. Anyone can derive an infinite amount of 'significance' from any situation. If another person who was shot dies and the death toll raises by one, just make that number significant.

A man sneezed in front of me. So this happened because my consciousness is trying to eject something from inside; or maybe I have something in my nose that my consciousness wants to get out; or maybe I need to spray some stuff into my life; or maybe there is an episode when I was 3 that needs to come out. Here's a 5 gallon bucket - now go fill it with something.

I am watching something that I have seen before. The center of the first one imploded. It would be interesting to see the course this one takes.

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by JonathanBrowne

Steve, this is a challenge to you. Since you've gone down this road, are you willing to take it all the way? If the deaths of these 33 people are meaningless except as a mirror of issues within yourself, then your telling me you would not feel it was a tragedy if your wife was killed tonight by a mysterious gunman? Then if you moved on and got over your grief, why would your wife not come back since of course it is your subjective reality. Are you willing to say that if your wife was killed, she must have been blocking your development and empowerment or it would not have happened?
[/b]

If I were him, I would look at your post and think, "I still have some internal conflict with subjective reality". Then, after I have resolved this internal conflict, this would be completely out of my mind after a few seconds and I would focus back on doing good onto the world. So, basically I wouldn't consider such a possibility until it actually happened.

[ken nubo]

Sooooooooooooo .... did the people who died in the shooting used the Law of Attraction?

[Takuin Minamoto]

I’m sure I’ll get the usual flood of outrage email for saying this, but to me this event is perfect, and to observe it creates no resistance within me. I expect that only a handful of people reading this can understand that perspective. I know the outrage bandwagon is far more socially acceptable, and my refusal to hop on board will perhaps create outrage for my not being outraged. I can accept that too.

It is quite right. The event was perfect. Not in the sense of how we normally use and limit that word. Usually, we use perfection to denote what is good for our own selfishness. But in this case, perfection equals reality. The event was perfect. How do we know? Because it happened. It is horrible, and it happened.

Whenever I experience resistance towards the existence of animal cruelty, like seeing someone wolfing down a chicken’s limb with nary a concern for the animal’s suffering, I know it’s not about the other person. It’s not about “the system” that hurts animals either. It’s all a projection of my consciousness. The conflict is within me. If I turn within, I can see that I’m really wrestling with my own lack of compassion. That’s why it bothers me to see others doing it — it’s resonating with something already inside me.

I guess my question would be, why does one bother you but the other doesn't? (one being the chicken leg, the other being the shooting victims) If nothing is there, then nothing is there. But your identity still gets in the way, if you think one more important than the other. Can you see this? There is no half assing this kind of thing. It is either one, or the other. If your identity still gets in the way, then it is always there. If that is the case, how can we even trust our own judgement, when we see everything through our own prejudice and viewpoint?

There are deeper places than what you have explored. Keep asking yourself and questioning. Question the stuff that you really believe in. Not because something else is better, but because that is where we like to hide.

Why would seeing someone eating an animal bother you at all? Don't say it is because I am this or I am that. You are just projecting an image of what you believe to be right, on top of reality. But can't you see that the guy or gal eating the chicken is perfect too? Nothing is there. Only your thoughts.

If in your past you ate animals, and now you don't, what has changed? If you hold (held) both as a belief, then it is all the same. Why is one belief different from another?

If you really see reality - reality being what meets us when we are present without the interference of thought - then you will always see it. There is no, "Yes it is real, but sometimes it is different, " or "It depends." Reality is reality.

If the school shooting doesn't bother you - as being perfect, it wouldn't - but the animal eater does, then I would would question wether you have really seen anything at all.

Please don't take this as mean or anything, but our words can seem that way. That is the limitation of language in a forum like this; you can't really hear the intention of the other person. It might sound negative, but be positive. You know what I mean, right? Let me know if I am way off base. We could be saying the same thing, just with different words.

Great blog post. I really enjoyed it.

[Hsiang-Lin]

Is this what personal development has become? Removing all emotions of fear, sadness, and grief?

While those emotions are inherently negative by definition, I feel that everyone has different interpretations of those emotions. What grief may feel for one person may feel differently for another person. Similarly, each person's reaction to a particular emotion may be empowering or dis-empowering.

Now I respect Steve's perspectives and outlook on life as I find it fascinating and it has gotten him good results. Yet, I just find it hard to "look past" this event and categorize it as just another batch of human deaths.

Perhaps I feel more concerned because I am a college student and Asian as well, but I feel it is natural for people to be more deeply affected by incidents that happen closer to home. I find it silly to think that if you feel grief for the lost of a loved one, then you must feel grief for ALL deaths in order to be "logical" or "fair."

I am well aware of the chaos that is in Iraq and if I was there right now, no doubt I would be highly emotional about the deaths reported there. But how does it make me a worse or "unfair" person if I could go about my daily activities without thinking about the horrible things that happen there 24/7?

Now I understand subjective reality you are the only consciousness in this Earth. If that is so, who says everyone must search for only joy and happiness? My joy is facing challenges that I feel averse to and give me a deep negative feeling because I know the negative feeling is a sign that I am tackling something most people would avoid.

I feel Steve's perspective is questionable not in the sense that he does not view this event as tragic, but rather he seems adamant about erasing any emotions of grief, sadness, or other "negative emotions" from his consciousness.

[Andrew Brunelle]

I remember the day of and the day before that tragedy, I had this sinking feeling something bad was going to happen. The night previous, I just had a feeling that something big was going to happen. I never listen to the radio, but that day, I decided to turn it on for a second, and what I heard was the largest single shooting incident in U.S. history was over and now they were picking up the pieces. Powerful, powerful stuff.

[Dr Gonzo]

Steve,

Thanks for a highly insightful post. I've followed your blog for about a year and a half now I guess, and I've often been impressed by the courage with which you post without concern for the reactions of others, this post especially embodies this and I'm grateful to you for making it.

Paul

[Steve Pavlina]

FYI the point about being disturbed watching people eat animals was a reference to the past. It's not how I normally feel today. I probably wasn't clear enough about that.

Basically when I notice that someone has died, whether animal or human, my internal reaction is to mentally/spiritually wave to them on the other side, like sending a mental postcard to the afterlife. I regard death as a change of state, not a tragedy.

If Erin died, I'd go through a major adjustment process of course. I'd do my best to accept and not resist the emotions as they occur. This may sound strange, but I sometimes perceive seemingly negative emotions as beautiful in their own way. It's like melancholy contains its own perfection.

I wouldn't worry much about Erin after death. She spends so much time on the other side these days that she should have little trouble adapting.

I'd keep in contact with Erin's higher self of course -- I sometimes tune into her when I meditate, so I can't imagine that part of our relationship changing. Erin and I often joke that her higher self looks a lot like Alanis Morissette.

Erin and I basically have an agreement that whichever one of us dies first will help serve as a guide for whoever is left living -- our missions are so congruent that we see no reason we wouldn't continue working together cross-dimensionally. Tuning into each other shouldn't be all that hard.

Physically I'd pursue other romantic relationships. And if I died first, I'd see about lining up some synchronicities to bring Erin a new relationship that would serve her well. She especially needs a patient geek, since all the spirit energy around her really messes with our computers.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

Great article Steve

Um.. some people at my job were a little miffed that I wasn't more outraged.

Heh. Amusingly, I probably wouldn't have found out about the shooting if it wasn't for this forum (I don't watch or read any news... and for those who are thinking, "wow, real original, Bruce -- way to copy Steve", I actually stopped watching/reading news about 2 years before Steve ).

What's even more interesting then the reactions you get from people when you aren't outraged by something everyone else is outraged about are the reactions you get when you haven't even heard about <insert a recent world event of "enormous importance" here>. If outrage = “oh no!”, no outrage + ignorance = “oh no!” x 2. (At least, in my experience.)

Interestingly, “oh no!” x 2 (no outrage + ignorance) seems to trigger some sort of recruiting routine where the individual tries to ridicule me for my lack of worldly awareness and intimidate me into joining them. I then proceed to say, ”No, please… not that! Anything but that!”, then poke them right in the eyes. (A reference from everyone’s favourite article. )

And yep, I have a feeling my obscure sense of humour is going to have people getting offended by this post and labelling me as arrogant (or perhaps more colourful terms), but oh well... I'm sure some people will understand.

[Takuin Minamoto]

FYI the point about being disturbed watching people eat animals was a reference to the past. It's not how I normally feel today. I probably wasn't clear enough about that.

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought that might be the case, and now we all know.

[Dr Gonzo]

Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg

Heh. Amusingly, I probably wouldn't have found out about the shooting if it wasn't for this forum (I don't watch or read any news... and for those who are thinking, "wow, real original, Bruce -- way to copy Steve", I actually stopped watching/reading news about 2 years before Steve ).

I also stopped watching/reading news about the same time as you. I went further than news - I expect you probably have too - I basically cut out any sort of mainstream cultural messages and indoctrination that I could possibly avoid, and I've structured my life so I can avoid most of it - I think it's one of the most positive things you can do to take back control of your own mind, and eliminates a big waste of time that could be put to much better use.

What's even more interesting then the reactions you get from people when you aren't outraged by something everyone else is outraged about are the reactions you get when you haven't even heard about <insert a recent world event of "enormous importance" here>. If outrage = “oh no!”, no outrage + ignorance = “oh no!” x 2. (At least, in my experience.)

I actually find the response different initially. I guess it depends how well the person knows me. Someone who doesn't know me might just assume I don't watch news because I'm a bit thick or something but then once they realise that I choose not to participate in the communal hate, fear and loathing rituals to which they are addicted the response is, indeed, horror most of the time. Meh.

Gonzo

[jkmuller]

For example, I’ve influenced dozens, if not hundreds, of people to shift their diets away from animal products. I know because people have written me long letters telling me about their changes. Some stopped eating cows. Some stopped eating anything that had a mother. Some tried it and returned to their original diets. But this didn’t happen because I’m attacking the problem of animal cruelty “out there” in the world. It happens because I keep working on myself.

This is where I see a fault with your paradigm. You are "attacking the problem of animal cruelty 'out there' in the world." You do it every time that you mention you're a vegan and even more so when you give your reasons for it. I agree that change should begin within, but why so much resistance to pushing for change outside of the self? Certainly you are doing this all the time, regardless whether or not you realize it.

Surely you do realize this because you are a smart person. I don't think you are explaining this well enough in your writing though.

[hadashi]

Steve, I'm impressed by your effort to understand an incident like this from a subjective viewpoint. It doesn't do to react in kind and project violence for violence. Doubtlessly many people are going to be outraged, both by the killing and also your post: "What! Chicken legs are worth more than my kids? What if it was your wife that had copped it?"

I can see where you are coming from, and where you are headed. I'm not sure I 100% agree with your take on the matter - but you are genuinely struggling to grapple with the (non)reality. As am I.

You have my admiration.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

She especially needs a patient geek, since all the spirit energy around her really messes with our computers.

That. Explains. SO. Much.

Where are the Ghostbusters when I need'em to make my computers work properly?

[Tanner]

All I see here is indifference to a tragedy. The people were locked in a room and murdered, but none of you even seem to care. Where is the sympathy?

You don't have to be scared, outraged or angry in order to mourn for those involved. Acknowledge and accept the situation, then choose to react in a healthy way. But don't deny it was tragic, because it simply was.

Wake up from the indifference that subjective reality results in! Calls for better gun legislation and less glorification of violence make perfect sense. You can be proactive without being outraged. We all need to take responsibility for the world we live in. You can't just shrug these things off as reflections of your internal conflicts.

Steve: You are obviously right that change needs to happen within first, but I feel like you just wrote-off anyone trying to take the next proactive step by saying they were acting in a cycle of outrage. Couldn't you have at least said you agree that we need better gun-control and that violence is overglorified in our culture, but worry people are more concerned with fighting an "external evil" than they are with dealing with their own inner "demons"? Don't demean people's attempts to make our world a better place.

Even if someone attains enlightenment there will still be "bad" things like this in their world! You are making a big mistake Steve. Subjective reality isn't the only way to take responsibility for your experiences, control your reactions to them and stop them from hurting you.

[Michael Chui]

It wasn't tragic. A bit disappointing, but tragic is when people spend more time weeping and bemoaning and lamenting than they do fixing problems. Take an example from the police. If they were busy being sympathetic, how much police work would get done?

If you need to cry, then cry. Don't demean others' ability to take action.

And gun legislation is stupid. Ban alcohol at the same time, why don't you; it worked great during the 1920s.

[JHL]

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