Self-Help Cynics (Blog)

[Steve Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Self-Help Cynics

[ArthurHung]

For the longest time, I falsely saw myself as a darkworker at a high level of consciousness and thought that this mentality protected me from negative emotions. I can’t say that it didn’t, but my unconscious kept giving me hints that something was wrong. I foolishly and steadfastly ignored this feeling within me, which added self-doubt to my actions and sabotaged my efforts in everything that I did (in various degrees). I exacerbated my problem by holding two darkworkers to overly high esteem: Friedrich Nietzsche (author of The Will To Power) and Robert Greene (author of 48 Laws of Power).

I was definitely a cynic in the past. I’ve lost friends because of this reason. I was a truly horrible person, projecting my doubts at many people as they talked to me. In fact, since I did it so much, I eventually tricked myself into thinking that I enjoyed being like this. I even wanted to write a satire blog because of it. I’m glad I never did. Since I created intentions that self-help material couldn’t help me, I found that sometimes I would refuse to finish a book that I had spent hard earned money on, though I knew deep down it would help me. I often reached a point while reading where I asked “What’s the point? This author is only writing this to make money off the masses anyways, there is simply no other explanation for it.”

Sure, there are authors that do that. I wasn’t wrong. But was it worth convincing myself to hold onto this negative attitude? Was it worth letting these negative intentions flow into my actions, causing me such unhappiness?

Now obviously, the answer is no.

[Akashic_Librarian]

Hah my story is almost the opposite of yours, I assumed I was a lightworker, until I realised that I was just getting sick, and tired. Then I switched to a Darkworker mindset and it was like coming home, everything just slotted into place...if I didn't know better I would say it was magik!

I am like Steve where he says, I err on the side of being too loose, I also do that, I tend to make a fair few mistakes, but I learn from each one and I rarely make the same mistake twice.

[thestral]

I was a cynic for so long myself, because I swore that I had no control over my life anyway, so why bother trying to change. I hit skeptic about a year and a half ago, then immediately hit junkie. Whoops. Took a bit to balance that out, going from one extreme to another is not fun.

[Mr.Mustache]

I can't even imagine how lightworkers think. I try to focus on achieving true happiness for myself (as opposed to mere pleasure) I can't do that for others that is a choice they have to make. So how can a lightworker wake other people up from simple escapism to conscious growth? The only the way I can think of is to be the change you wish to see in the world. I've even called people like self-sacrificing lightworkers misguided or even niave.

Anyway I have played the cynic before and Steve characterizes it quite well. The only solution to cynicism is by stepping outside yourself, stop thinking of yourself as the results of your enviroment and realizing that new results are not difficult to achieve at all it simply takes more time.

I really hate when the world says you have to work yourself to death to get anywhere and when motivational speakers say results take no time and effort at all. Take this analogy: Work is time and force, so either you use a lot of force and take little time to something done or you take your time and use gradual force. Not really an analogy but what do we have more of time or force?

Time, take your time and enjoy the ride, allow yourself to change gradually with ease. Cynics need immediate results if they realize their insecurities, so when they realize they won't get what they need immediatley they pretend it doesn't exist and end up substituting pleasure for happiness.

[ArthurHung]

Lightworkers at a high level of consciousness don't think of helping others as self-sacrificing. We often derive pleasure and energy from it rather than having it detracting—though of course this isn’t always the case. It's like a constant 30 Days to Success Strategy, we don’t need to succeed in our goal to help you, but we try. And we don’t help everybody—who has the time for that? But then again, putting forth good intentions to everybody can be considered a source of help.

Helping others—giving the intention that others will succeed/get a higher level of consciousness—brings us joy/energy. You can hear this joy in every podcast Steve puts out. The misguided/naive self-sacrificng people you are referring to as lightworkers may not in fact be lightworkers. After all, lightworkers are only approximately 1% of the population according to Steve, and I'm inclined to agree, the number is miniscule.

“I really hate when the world says you have to work yourself to death to get anywhere and when motivational speakers say results take no time and effort at all. Take this analogy: Work is time and force, so either you use a lot of force and take little time to something done or you take your time and use gradual force. Not really an analogy but what do we have more of time or force?”

Steve is someone that says results take no time and effort at all, in a sense. Unless you consider a shift in perspective “effort”, confidence—a result, of sorts—can be achieved immediately by intention. With a congruent intention to be confident, my body responds by sitting a bit straighter, eyes a little sharper and my voice becomes clearer. This brings me immediate happiness and brings out the best in me. This can be considered an effortless result can’t it?

[RT Wolf]

^ Depends. Ever looked into IM properly? One of the things you have to do is keep a high emotional state to IM stuff quicker and with less effort. You also have to get rid fo limiting emotions and subconscious fears. You also have to learn to direct your thoughts a lot more consciously. For some people, you have ot learn visualization, etc. There's a lot more work to it than it looks like at first blush. But, the work is generally enjoyable, I think. I'm just starting off with IM, though.

That actually turned me off to IM at first. That's like making the game too easy, there's no fun to be had in playing it anymore. But the nature of the game just changes, to where you become and keep yourself in vibrational harmony with that what you want.

At lesat, that's my understanding of it so far.

[Simmiah]

Thanks for being a personal growth blogger who discussed both cynicism & junkie-ism. I've seen both myself personally but most personal development people I've found don't discuss this & so, like anything un-discussed, it tends to keep occurring without people being aware of the pitfalls of going too far in either direction.

I've seen this where there was a self-help junkie mother of my cynical & atheistic ex-boyfriend. Both were emotionally rationalizing their positions & it was clear that they both attacked each other's position constantly but the thought never occurred to either that there was a middle ground. I am glad that you are able to turn the cynics in your life around.. something I've never been able to do

[ArthurHung]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

^ Depends. Ever looked into IM properly?

I read a few articles about IM from this site. I’ve also listened to nearly all of Steve’s podcasts—there’s definitely talk about IM there. You could be right that I lack understanding about the subject matter and that I could benefit from delving deeper into IM. However, I personally feel that this is not the case. Here’s why: As it stands right now, it’s working great for me, I feel like I “get” it and that it’s more productive for me to focus on using IM in my life rather than spending too much time reading about it.

In fact, I highly discourage anyone who feels that they’ve reached the point of understanding IM at a high level from delving too deep into it when they can be using it productively to enhance their own lives. Too much of a good thing turns into a bad thing and self-help junkies < people reaching higher levels of consciousness while achieving their goals.

After reading these articles I immediately applied IM to my life and have, UNBELIEVABLY, quickly gotten great results for it. I would doubt my ability and knowledge of IM if something amazing didn't happen to me--in the form of free expensive material goods--that is indirectly, massively helping an intention of mine manifest. I have not posted about these material goods nor the intention that it helps--I'd rather keep that private. Hope you don’t mind. But anyways, because of these continued miraculous successes of which there are many, I feel that I understand it and have no real need to delve into deeper reading material about it aside from the select few that I’ve read from Steve. It might be worth noting that I’ve only been using Steve’s site for approximately 2 weeks!

I paid no notice to the idea that people may learn and apply IM to their lives at different levels and speeds, my mistake. That stemmed from my enthusiastic joy as I wrote that post. Since I wasn’t aiming to write my post showing the attitude that I held while putting it together, this was not reflected in the post. It might interest you to know that as I sit here, doing the mundane act of typing away on my laptop, I have a brilliant smile on my face from my intention of perpetual happiness.

Limiting emotions and subconscious fears

I don’t pay attention to these things. Wouldn’t you agree that acknowledging these objective limitations is contrary to achieving your IM results? As someone who IM is working greatly for, I suggest that you just use IM with sentences and words relating to “perpetual confidence” and “perpetual happiness”. Well, different things work for different people so feel free to insert whatever words you like instead of mine. From one of Steve’s podcasts, I believe the confidence one, Steve talks about thinking/using words like “Absolutely!, I’ll do it!, OK!” in a cheerful enthusiastic manner or something like that. The concept is the same; thinking about words like “Um, I guess I can do it…” or “Fine...” in a sullen tone is HORRIBLE when you can be using words like “Absolutely! I’ll do it!, OK!” Using the same method, stop yourself and replace “limiting emotions and subconscious fears” with “perpetual confidence” and “perpetual happiness” anytime you even think about it. I guarantee this will help your life if you are doing it properly, with your intention being congruent with your thoughts.

Hope this helps your understanding of IM and improves your life. Best of luck to you!

[RT Wolf]

I'm really glad to hear of your quick success with IM.

"I don’t pay attention to these things. Wouldn’t you agree that acknowledging these objective limitations is contrary to achieving your IM results?"

There's two possibilities from what I've read and my own experience:

1. You've just started out with PD and/or this wonderful site.

2. You genuinely don't have those kinds of limiting beliefs or fears.

Note that both choices aren't mutually exclusive, both can be true at the same time.

If you've just started out with PD (wth the help of this wonderful site), then I know exactly what you mean. When I first got into PD, I was riding an emotional high and since I felt so good all the time, my intentions also manifested pretty easily, but I was going very slowly with my IM.

However, now (about 8 months into PD), I'm finding that I have to deal with the realities that are inside me. The emotional high is gone, but I know the state I want to work towards by truly changing myself, rather than just being given a new set of eyes to look at myself and hte world through. You can ignore things like that but that sounds like denial of what is rather than acceptance of it. Those sorta things prolly aren't stopping you right now, and I hope they never do. Just keep in mind that if you had them before you started PD, then you probably still have them. Best take out the weeds now.

That's not to say oyu sohuld start worrying about when it'll end. Theoretically, you could start building the foundation for an even stronger sense of happiness, including by IM, so it could last forever. Just enjoy where you are right now, really enjoy it and appreciate it. What you appreciate, grows.

This thread is about what I'm talking about in terms of resistance to manifestations:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ut-resistance/

If 2. Then congratulations! I'm not at that level yet, and I could potentially be making things harder for myself (by thinking that I do want the game of life to be somewhat challenging, but fun), but I am doing what I know is best. If I keep doing that, I'll eventually hit what IS best, theoretically. Still, I think I'm gonna start putting out more intentions for resolution of my limiting beliefs and subconscious fears, and greater happiness.

Thanks for your reply, it made me think about my life and my intentions more thoroughly.

[ArthurHung]

Your assessment of me is very logical and spot on. I would say both your points apply to me. I am fairly new to this site but I've been using/reading PD all my life. I’m not riding on an emotional high. How do I describe it? I feel I am currently acting with a calm joy yet always manifesting enthusiasm.

For the longest time, I have acted with overconfidence—obviously not always justified. However, with IM/ creative observation/ total responsibility and 30 Day Goal Strategy combined with this, I feel that I have transformed this trait into real confidence. My assessment of myself is that “I genuinely don't have those kinds of limiting beliefs or fears”--this is correct. I believe that with the right mindset there is no need to fear anything and I apply this knowledge practically, in everything I do right now.

With no disrespect to Steve, I had trouble fully concentrating while reading what is on the link you posted about IM. The reason for this is because I realize that this does not help me as I don’t have those kinds of limiting beliefs or fears. However, I did go through the whole article with the intention that more knowledge of IM will help me better understand others on this forum.

Manifesting a million dollars, losing 50 pounds, getting married, moving to a new city, or switching careers are significant changes. A common mistake we make when putting out new intentions is that we consider those intentions in isolation, failing to account for the complete package of side effects. If you spend even 10 minutes doing this exercise (longer is good too), you’ll notice there’s a lot more to your intentions than you initially realized. But if you don’t consider these side effects when focusing on your intentions, then your intentions will have little power to manifest because deep down, you’ll know they don’t represent a realistic, stable situation.”

I didn’t realize it until I read this but I do this automatically using holistic learning; this happens so fast in my head I don’t even consciously realize that I’m doing it: the holistic learning web method to take into account "the complete package of side effects".

As another example I worried that some people would react negatively to my attempts to attract greater financial abundance, misjudging my motives and assuming I’m “just in it for the money,” especially as I reach beyond the survival income range and into the abundance range. But I realized this is totally my issue, not anyone else’s.

This is definitely not a problem that applies to me, it matters very little to me how other people could react negatively to my attempts to attract good things for myself and for them as well.

If you want your intentions to manifest, then you need to understand that they’re a package deal. You have to accept and intend the whole package, not just the convenient parts.

I’ll give an example showing why I feel that I am doing this perfectly and how I'm doing it, please feel free to correct me if you are of a dissenting opinion:

Intention: $10 passive income a month by the beginning of September while working for Steve.

Reality: Steve has not responded to any of my posts, the email I sent him, nor has he sent me a PM in response.

Action: Sending him a del.icio.us link that I think could inspire a solid blog entry, continuing to post in his forum using my best effort.

Intention: Not failing to manifest the above intention!

Reality: Well, we’ll see. If in the case that I do fail, I will follow Steve’s advice about triaging ruthlessly. If it no longer helps my goals to help others while making money to post on this site, I will not spend so much effort and time posting on this site and perhaps leave it altogether (just the forum, I’ll of course keep using Steve’s articles!)

Intention: (Darn, writing this almost makes it appear as if I think will fail in establishing a connection with Steve, this isn't the case I assure you *wags his index finger*)—if in the unfortunate reality that Steve completely ignores my existence, and if he does I’m sure he has legitimate reasons for doing so, I will find other methods of making this passive $10 a month. Of course, if I leave, it will be with much gratefulness that it helped give me a chance to connect with others in learning PD together and had given me the opportunity to further develop my writing ability.

Action: Talking to other famous bloggers and establishing friendships with the intention that this will manifest, as well as offering to edit, review and post on their sites.

Reality: I have made a few connections with other famous bloggers and am currently communicating with them. I see this is as a manifestation towards success, a sign that my intentions are working. In the case that my $10 passive income does not manifest by the beginning of September, this just means that my intentions are not congruent with my thoughts because of a lack of effort in my part, an apparent unwillingness to sacrifice enough time and energy on other life matters: summer school, summer (not online) job, a relationship. I look at the previous sentence I wrote and cannot help but laugh out loud; I so strongly feel that I can achieve that which I feel are of utmost importance all at the same time. I mean, if Steve can do what he did with his schooling, why can’t I? It’s not like he hasn’t bared his core success ideas that lead to his great life as well as many of his secret key inner thoughts to the world. If I fail, which I won't, it will be my fault; even then it will be easy to pick myself off the ground and start over having these tools that Steve has given me. Two concepts comes to mind: Total Responsibility and Creative Observation.

Action: By the way, there are a lot of Toronto people here and I’m looking for a summer job, if you are interested in hiring me, please send a PM.

Anyways, please tell me if I’m going about this the wrong way.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by ArthurHung

My assessment of myself is that “I genuinely don't have those kinds of limiting beliefs or fears”--this is correct. I believe that with the right mindset there is no need to fear anything and I apply this knowledge practically, in everything I do right now.

You DO have limiting beliefs. You just don't know it. We all have our limiting beliefs - even Jesus (eg in the Garden of Gethsemane).

Intention: $10 passive income a month by the beginning of September while working for Steve.

$10 a month? Why not $100? Or $1,000 or $10,000?

(P.S I've just shown you one of your own limiting beliefs).

[ArthurHung]

After reading your post and sleeping on it, I realized that I was wrong. Thanks for that, I understand myself more now. If I didn’t have limiting beliefs or fears I would be a lot more productive, never procrastinate and be able to achieve my goals really, really quickly (I still procrastinate but at least 50% less now). I was ignorant because since ruthlessly applying my newly learned techniques of intelligent curiosity against my day-to-day anxieties, the results have been as good as I could ever imagine, by far.

As for the second point, I see it as more like an achievable goal than a limiting belief. I definitely have a very different definition of limiting beliefs than you, so let’s just leave it at that.

Back to the focus, are there any other former cynics here who realized that they were cynics, that it was a problem, and have improved their life considerably since changing? Or some who are in the process of improving and having trouble?