What is the difference between facebook and these forums

[Janine]

I have never had facebook/twitter etc but from what steve described in his blog, facebook sounds very similar to these forums with online friends, smiley faces etc

[carenkh]

Facebook is quite different - discussions aren't sorted into topics, only people you've chosen as your friends can comment on what you post, things people post are displayed on your newsfeed, you can't just click what you're interested in.

I don't know much about this side of it, but there are many games, where other friends give you things to help you build something, or help with battle campaigns.

You can read the "website" portion of the wikipedia article for more info.

[Brutha]

It's a different medium.
Understanding a medium like twitter or facebook isn't trivial.

Saying that a forum is similar to facebook is a bit like saying that a strawberry is similar to a red apple because both are red.
Knowing that a strawberry is red doesn't tell you much about the nature of a strawberry.

Trying to explain strawberries to someone in Africa who has never seen a strawberry is hard.

[invisiblehouses]

Depth.

[supertom]

I'm not on facebook.

[curiouslyrandom]

Here, anyone can post on any topic. On facebook, I get to choose who I'm friends with, and I know their real names. In my case, there's some crossover, as several of my forum friends are also facebook friends.

[Lionman]

There's some obvious subtext in the Facebook Fast blog post which clearly relates to internet forums as well. If anyone denies this then it's self protective denial imo.

[Cado]

Only in regards to face-to-face contact. Forums can be extremely useful and, in my personal experience, you can forge connections with people across vast distances with proper use of this technology. It's easier in a forum because it's less rapid-fire than facebook; it's easier to have a serious, prolonged discussion whereas facebook is almost pure soundbytes. Even still, the quality of the tool is largely determined by how you use it.

[Lionman]

Yeah, the problems come if you're filling a social / emotional need through internet forums which I believe a lot of people are.

It's also true that you are more likely to be interacting with forum addicts just because they're more likely to be using the service at that time. This creates a large bias in the types of interactions you have (Steve mentions this re: facebook).

[beast]

I think forums are better for getting to know people and having in-depth discussions. I use facebook to check up on people I'm already friends with - look at all their pictures, get invitations to events, and get back in touch when we haven't heard from each other in a while.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by Lionman

Yeah, the problems come if you're filling a social / emotional need through internet forums which I believe a lot of people are.

It's also true that you are more likely to be interacting with forum addicts just because they're more likely to be using the service at that time. This creates a large bias in the types of interactions you have (Steve mentions this re: facebook).

That's an interesting point of discussion-when is it unhealthy to fill emotional needs through an online medium?

Because the truth of it is we're all getting something from being here. There's no way you can interact with other people, even just through text, without emotions coming to the forefront, and the kinds of interaction which are unhealthy in a place like this would be unhealthy anywhere else. IE, seeking ego validation through attention whoring.

If you're afraid of going outside then you're taking it to an extreme, but for a normal person where's the line? This gets especially nebulous when you consider people who've met their significant other at a distance.

I don't see a reason to weight interactions based on where and how they occur; it's the underlying elements which determine their value.

[Lionman]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

That's an interesting point of discussion-when is it unhealthy to fill emotional needs through an online medium?

Because the truth of it is we're all getting something from being here. There's no way you can interact with other people, even just through text, without emotions coming to the forefront, and the kinds of interaction which are unhealthy in a place like this would be unhealthy anywhere else. IE, seeking ego validation through attention whoring.

If you're afraid of going outside then you're taking it to an extreme, but for a normal person where's the line? This gets especially nebulous when you consider people who've met their significant other at a distance.

I don't see a reason to weight interactions based on where and how they occur; it's the underlying elements which determine their value.

I see where you're coming from. Someone may think that if they're experiencing an emotion then that's good enough. Of course it has to be satisfying on some level or else it wouldn't be an addiction. How did Steve put it... he said it was like eating something which ultimately isn't satisfying. Forgot the exact reference though. Maybe cybersex vs real sex is another example?

In my own experience, I'm not a huge forum poster or anything, but there was a couple of weeks I was posting a lot. I took a break and I couldn't remember any of the conversations I had on forums. The most deep forum interactions paled in comparison to even the most boring face 2 face interactions and the memories just fade away.

There's 2 things I've learned from this forum which I remember while immersed in the real world. One is a breathing technique to release neurotransmitters (credit Illuminatus) and another is principles I've applied from a book recommendation. I only remember these two things because I've applied them to my actual life.

Imagine the future when you're on your deathbed. Will you be mainly thinking of all the forum conversations you had? If so, are you ok with that?

[Cado]

Originally Posted by Lionman

Imagine the future when you're on your deathbed. Will you be mainly thinking of all the forum conversations you had? If so, are you ok with that?

I think I have a slightly different disposition because I'm very much a writer and storyteller, so most of my grandest experiences are had within my own mind even when I'm in a really active period of my life. For me, there's no differentiation between different kinds of conversations, it's all just conversation and yes, I'll be quite okay with having the most important ones running through my head at the end. No doubt there will be many kinds from many eras and a good number of them will have been pure text.

Let's see... Online forums are the reason I'm no longer a Christian. They introduced me to the idea that atheists are not the scumbags I was taught.

I've been exposed to a wealth of new perspectives I never would have considered had I stayed solely within the analog world.

At least two of my most significant relationships started at a distance.

I've talked a few people down from suicide through the use of messengers, skype, and so on.

All of that is quite real even if it's not face-to-face. I prefer face-to-face, certainly. There's only so many hours one can sit in front of a computer screen and stay sane. But I don't value the people I know through this any less as a result.

Steve can think whatever he likes of that.

[cacheborn]

There are similarities and differences.

Forum allows in-depth discussion on PD related topics. This has helped me immensely many times. There is also a downside if you do not know when to stop discussing. Forum feels like a more intimate gathering where you can see lot of people talking.

FB, allows mostly superficial interactions, keeping up to date with family/friends who are far apart. FB also has many good outlets in the area of your interest. For instance, if I become a fan of my fav author, I will get links to his interviews automatically.

Both can be addictive.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by supertom

I'm not on facebook.

Yay for us huh?! I got sick of 'stalking' guys/girls I thought were cute

[lookcloser]

To be honest, these forums and FB can be pretty addictive. But you tend to be more of yourself here than on FB and you get SO much more out of this place.
At least I do

[Janine]

from what everyone is saying it sounds as though steve was using facebook all wrong

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by Janine

from what everyone is saying it sounds as though steve was using facebook all wrong

No. Its just that Steve had 10X more following than a lot of us

[Lionman]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

Let's see... Online forums are the reason I'm no longer a Christian. They introduced me to the idea that atheists are not the scumbags I was taught.

I've been exposed to a wealth of new perspectives I never would have considered had I stayed solely within the analog world.

Don't get me wrong, I've learned a hell of a lot on the internet and through books. But I've never used the internet to fulfill a social role in my life. They say something like 90% of communication is non-verbal so there's a lot of other stuff going on when you're interacting face to face, even vibes bodylanguage experts don't know about. Forum interactions don't even skim the surface of the ocean of human interactions.

I've talked a few people down from suicide through the use of messengers, skype, and so on.

I bet they were forum addicts.. haha
I get your point though, that's cool

But I don't value the people I know through this any less as a result.

I size people up a lot with the vibes they give off. For instance, a friend of mine's Dad is a very powerful man in the 'business' world. You can literally feel the vibes this guy emits, very powerful, intense, dominating presence. He's average height but he just fills a room with his presence, it's crazy.. he doesn't have to say anything, you just automatically respect and pay attention to him, nobody can help it. Now if this guy was on an internet forum he'd just be like : "teh how does work this..?" and everyone would just ignore him.

But I understand that internet forums gives people who might not feel valuable in normal situations a chance to shine by letting them build an identity where a lot of what's valuable in human interaction doesn't matter. Which is great for a lot of people who wouldn't have a chance otherwise. But for a lot of people it can be crippling.

[danas]

For me personally the main difference is that on fb I am not anonymous, I have an "image" & therefore share very little on there.
I smile in my photos and do not share my fears or worries.
I often use it to publicize articles to promote my career.

Here I have no image to live up to. Here I share my most personal fears, doubts & feelings...Here I have no website in my sig, bc this is not my target audience, here it is soul work, fb just sees my outer layers... Also here people are working to become better people, I cannot say the same for my fb community.

On FB my goal is to connect with people, so that it will strengthen the connection to them irl. Here my goal is to grow. I learn from others, I try to help others. I have no intention to connect irl.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Lionman

Imagine the future when you're on your deathbed. Will you be mainly thinking of all the forum conversations you had? If so, are you ok with that?

One thing I think I may remember is that time when the love of my life suddenly showed up on Facebook after 23 years and we had a little conversation that led to our wonderful rekindling of something magical. I'm ok with that.

[Lionman]

Originally Posted by Angela

One thing I think I may remember is that time when the love of my life suddenly showed up on Facebook after 23 years and we had a little conversation that led to our wonderful rekindling of something magical. I'm ok with that.

Sure, that's someone you have lots of memories of in real life. It's a beautiful thing!

Anyhoo, I'm going to go now taking a page from my book and fill my lower belly with the nectar of life.

[Fredrik]

Facebook-communication is mostly trivial and personal... here the communication is much more educational and experimental instead.

[Mounds]

@lookcloser - You are very pretty


I'm deciding what I want out of these services currently and here's what I'm at so far:

Forums - Fun to discuss ideas and share insights. Not a healthy place for me to fill my social batteries.

Facebook - Not a healthy place to fill my social batteries either. One benefit that I came up with recently is using the group button. I'm thinking about starting a poker night and for that, it's pretty darn handy. I want my Facebook interactions to lead to real life interactions.

One idea that I had recently that I'm really fond of is starting a personal development group in my area. Discuss similar things as we discuss here, except face to face. Does anyone have experience in something like that? I'd love to hear about it.

-Tim

[BillyTheAdult]

Originally Posted by Mounds

@lookcloser - You are very pretty


I'm deciding what I want out of these services currently and here's what I'm at so far:

Forums - Fun to discuss ideas and share insights. Not a healthy place for me to fill my social batteries.

Facebook - Not a healthy place to fill my social batteries either. One benefit that I came up with recently is using the group button. I'm thinking about starting a poker night and for that, it's pretty darn handy. I want my Facebook interactions to lead to real life interactions.

One idea that I had recently that I'm really fond of is starting a personal development group in my area. Discuss similar things as we discuss here, except face to face. Does anyone have experience in something like that? I'd love to hear about it.

-Tim

I've looked for one locally on meet up. I've found that even though I live in a fairly decently sized city (it's actually one the hundred largest in the USA, which never ceases to amaze me) the meetup groups here really suck. But my city actually has a reputation locally for being exceedingly boring and lacking the kind of culture that attracts younger/cultured crowds. So it's not to say you couldn't successfully start one.

[Mounds]

I meet a lot of people in my NLP classes. I'm going to suggest a practice group next weekend, which will extend beyond the classes. That might even be the start of it.

[lookcloser]

Originally Posted by Mounds

@lookcloser - You are very pretty -Tim

Back at ya Mr Hollywood! With your delicate features and all...
No, but you can look rugged too

[Bizarre Jester]

The main difference for me is that facebook is a joke and I got nothing out of it. Basically it's just an unsatisfactory way to have a social life and keep in touch with people.

[sarah786]

i learned EFT through this forum... I heard it mentioned a few times but never tried it until I was going through an intensely anxious period in my life and was desperate enough to try anything... it changed my life... i first used it in May, and it has been the most helpful think in my life ever (without exaggeration). I also recently heard about TAT technique, and although I can't speak for long term effects yet... it also seems incredible so far. I really don't think I would have tried either of this techniques if it wasn't for this forum.