30-Day Facebook Fast (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

30-Day Facebook Fast

[Weena]

"If you have a Facebook page with a wall on it, then people can post comments on your wall. If you have a fan page, someone can “like” your fan page, spam your wall, and then “unlike” your fan page, and it’s impossible to ban them from repeated abuse. You just have to deal with it."

Not in my experience. I have banned two persons from my page and they haven't been back. There is an option to block them . (It won't serve you as you left but this may help other people with a page).

[James81]

The funny thing is, you've ran one test and then you made a bunch of conclusions about facebook off that one test. That is, you went from 5000 friends to 0 friends, and then you decided that facebook was useless without experiementing with anything in between.

I bet your facebook experience, and your conclusions, would be vastly different if you dumped all your friends and only added a more tight knit list of less than 500 friends.

For example, facebook is one way in which I stay in touch with extended family. Family that I would otherwise have zero interaction with because our paths rarely cross in real life, and to make in person path crossing in real life with these people would make life so busy that I'd have little time for less else.

So, facebook is a good comprimise. That is, keeping in touch with people that matter to me, without over extending myself in real life.

You talk about being balanced, but I think you've swung the pendulum to the other extreme. You went from a bunch of noisey, shallow interactions, straight to only deep, face to face interactions. A socially balanced person keeps connections of all types of depths and facets.

Granted, I understand that since I'm just digital interaction with you, you will shut out my feedback, so this post is actually for other people who read your article and not really for you.

[James81]

But, on the flip side, I could definitely see how I might be able to create more depth with my awk friends if I were to reduce my posting on this forum, so I might actually take a forum-fast here in the coming months.

[Elfwing]

I think James has a good point with balance, but at the same time if Steve is much happier going completely without Facebook, then good for him!

[James81]

Originally Posted by Elfwing

I think James has a good point with balance, but at the same time if Steve is much happier going completely without Facebook, then good for him!

Yes, exactly.

personally, I think it's a phase for him. I figure that having a popular website such as this probably got inundating at time and I think he's prolly pulling away from it simply because that has to have sucked to get inundated with messages from people you don't know on frequent basis.

I predict that as he breathes a sigh of relief and gets some away time, the pendulum will swing back into more balance and he'll open up to some online connections at a much reduced level.

[Weena]

My experience of Facebook is vastly different as well, I agree with James's posts. I only see heaps of positive things coming out of my facebook usage.

[Mounds]

This article really hit home for me. It extended beyond Facebook for me, into all forms of online social networking. I do find this forum a bit different because I feel there is a higher level of interaction here. Still, it can't beat AFK interactions.
In the past month, I've been putting serious energy into connecting with people I see in my regular days and what a blast it is. There is no comparison.
I seriously considered dropping Facebook myself. It's been coming and going off of my mind for a couple years now. The thing is though, I've got somewhere around 130 friends, 40 of which are bug buddies. It's a very handy way of sharing pictures of collecting spots and specimens. I'm also not a heavy user at all. Ten minutes a day is a long time for me. I'm willing to bet I average around four or five minutes. A quick skim to see if any interesting pictures have been posted, see if I have any PM's and off I go.
5000 friends would drive me absolutely bananas. Heck, 500 friends would be far too many. Gives me the chills thinking about it.
Anyhow, awesome article. I'm conflicted about whether or not I should "Like" this one.

[James81]

Originally Posted by James81

But, on the flip side, I could definitely see how I might be able to create more depth with my awk friends if I were to reduce my posting on this forum, so I might actually take a forum-fast here in the coming months.

Ha, I got a "ROFL-MAYO" rep for this post, it so I re-read it and can see how this might be perceived as a snarky post.

I was actually being serious about this. Not in the sense that this forum sucks up my time so much, but, rather, posting and exploring has been sucking up lots of energy lately. Energy that might have better use elsewhere.

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by James81

I predict that as he breathes a sigh of relief and gets some away time, the pendulum will swing back into more balance and he'll open up to some online connections at a much reduced level.

I sincerely hope he doesn't. What I've come to love about this site and Steve himself is that he's continuously bucking the trend. To me, that's inspiring. That article makes me want to go out and meet people even more. Facebook, forums, MMORPGs... they all do the same damn thing. They create a feeling of social interaction and it's easy to get lost in that. I've now experienced all three and I have yet to gain ONE real life friend from those endeavours. If I'd invested all of those hours and energy into a real social life, I probably wouldn't be here.

[Cochonette]

Interesting. But I still highly value Facebook. I have been getting out more and spending much less time chatting away on FB. This feels fine. I'm tired of instant messaging anyway - it takes way more time than chatting over the phone or in person. After 1 hr of chat, I realize we've barely said anything except in peak moments, whereas 1 hr on the phone would be pretty satisfying to me.

But I use FB a lot for 1. keeping in touch with face-to-face friends, 2. finding out about events going on around the city that I might go to (both from fan pages and from in-person friends), and um... well, I suppose, those are the only major things I use it for nowadays.

Oh, also... I still feel a closeness to the friends I've spent a lot of time chatting with on FB as compared to the friends I've met in person and only known in person. For some reason, I still suck at conjuring a closeness there in person unless the other person sustains it? Even though I'm getting out a LOT more, I still feel like I'm not that close with even the people I spend a lot of time with due to living with them ... if we ever became very close, we've drifted apart for one reason or another.

Maybe I'm more authentic online or something, I dunno...... but it seems like face-to-face, we can also talk about the same topics, and I just don't feel as close if it was said face-to-face... for some reason.

[Angela]

It's not the tool; it's how you use it.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Angela

It's not the tool; it's how you use it.

Save this reply for when he blogs about penises.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

Save this reply for when he blogs about penises.

A 30 day penis fast sounds like a terrible idea to me.

[StacyT]

Danm!! This article sheds so much light on the fact that I'm addicted to Facebook. The thought of a 30-day Facebook fast makes my palms sweat and my heart race.

My immediate thought is that I want to make a post on my Facebook status that says I'm doing a 30-day Facebook fast. Then I want to check back and see what other people say about it. It's empty ego gratification. I don't want to shut it down because its my only method of communication with certain people....but if it's my ONLY method then how important are those relationships? I want to say that some of them are still important.

I feel like it's all or nothing. If I know I can access it, then I feel like I will. Especially because I work online. It's always so tempting to "take a break and check Facebook". But that happens so often that I'm wasting valuable time. I'm still undecided. Crap!

[st33med]

Originally Posted by Angela

A 30 day penis fast sounds like a terrible idea to me.

No more penispenispenis? The horror!

[Savage]

Originally Posted by StacyT

I feel like it's all or nothing. If I know I can access it, then I feel like I will. Especially because I work online. It's always so tempting to "take a break and check Facebook". But that happens so often that I'm wasting valuable time. I'm still undecided. Crap!

That's the beauty of a 30-day trial. It isn't all or nothing. It's only 30 days. If you don't like the results, you can go back to the way things were on day 31, picking up right where you left off.

Based on what you described, you sound like a perfect match for it.

If you can't handle 30 days up front, try 7 days.

[mikeschu]

I, too, am doing a month without actively being on Facebook. I'll still post the blog feed and maybe a couple of Tweets, but that's it. I've outlined the reasons in my blog (link below) so I won't go into gory detail. I'm not a big "power user" in terms of friend count - I have less than 300 friends and I probably need to cull the list a little so I'm not missing as many updates.

I agree that there's a lot to Facebook that needs improvement. Moderation of posts and tags seems to be the key issue for me. There's nothing to stop people from vomiting all over your Wall or tag you in random pictures prior to it happening; you have to do all of your maintenance post-notification at the moment. Facebook "says" they are planning to implement moderation, but as I note in my blog there is a good reason why they won't. I didn't even think about the messaging thing, as I rarely get messages there.

Even with blocking all of the game updates as they come out, I'm starting to realize that the level of conversations I was having and seeing from people was just poor. The site is designed to keep you logged in there and make money from ads and your contributions in the form of marketing data. Who knows how they're going to use it in the future.

Personally I think Steve could have done well with a personal, tightly controlled profile page and a page for the Web site. However, that would also tie him into more maintenance that is a time sink. I won't do the same - I have too many contacts in different places - but I won't be logging on to Facebook as much after this month.

[Weena]

Originally Posted by StacyT

The thought of a 30-day Facebook fast makes my palms sweat and my heart race.

To me not using it will be like shooting myself in the foot. Most of my business is on there, people ask me for made-to-order things on there... no Facebook = no work. Just when it is really taking off... can't possibly do it.

[StacyT]

Originally Posted by Savage

That's the beauty of a 30-day trial. It isn't all or nothing. It's only 30 days. If you don't like the results, you can go back to the way things were on day 31, picking up right where you left off.

This is true, but the level of addiction for me is so strong that I have to make the account temporarily inaccessible. I just changed my password to something crazy that I'll never remember so I can't just sneak on and check it. I think that will be the key for me. 30 days starting....now!

[Savage]

Originally Posted by StacyT

This is true, but the level of addiction for me is so strong that I have to make the account temporarily inaccessible. I just changed my password to something crazy that I'll never remember so I can't just sneak on and check it. I think that will be the key for me. 30 days starting....now!

So if someone catches you on Facebook within the next 30 days, what's the penalty?

[StacyT]

Originally Posted by Savage

So if someone catches you on Facebook within the next 30 days, what's the penalty?

I'm so sure it won't happen that I'd be willing to videotape myself doing something completely embarrassing in public or I'd even do something I fear even more--like skydiving--as punishment. If anyone in this forum sees me on Facebook they can feel free to call me out on it. And I will fulfill my promise.

But it won't happen.

[cacheborn]

Interesting perspective. The important criterion here is

My Facebook page was maxed out at 5K friends and was very active. If I’d only had 50-100 friends, then it might not have felt like I was interacting with a collective.

The difference is, Steve, you are a celebrity while most of us are not. I have about 170 friends and I am sure I will freak out if I had even close to yours.

With a small number of friends, most of the things are manageable. Majority of my FB friends are those with whom I have worked in the past or those I knew at some point in my life. Now we are worlds apart geographically, so FB is a great tool to keep in touch. For instance, those of you who know Coolbee, she is in Egypt at the moment and it's a great relief to read her status updates and know that she is okay.

I completely agree that this type of interaction is NOT a substitute for face to face interaction. Also agree about the addiction part. I hide all the Farmville type updates from my friends 'cos I am not interested. I also use FB to get info. I am friends with or fan of people who have similar interests. So I get interesting links about literature/science etc. from friends. Also interesting motivational links from people in PD. The advantage of having small number of friends is you can be choosy.

I used to be addicted not only to FB, but also to forums including this one.
So I have managed to cut down my time quite a bit but still there is room for improvement.

In summary, I am not ready to give up on FB as of yet. I am sure I can if it needs to be done. In case Mr Zuckerberg comes up with some really outrageous rules.

[munish]

I think this is the beginning of the end of facebook era.

[Andrew Brunelle]

I went off of Facebook for months, but then went back on it and I've been on it ever since. I don't mind it, and I spend a couple minutes on it a day, mostly posting something funny or a link I found that might be of interest. It is a high traffic area and I enjoy getting feedback. But it's nothing like real interaction, and I know that, and I accept it. And it is not a big part of my life. It is a small part, and I keep it that way.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by StacyT

I feel like it's all or nothing. If I know I can access it, then I feel like I will. Especially because I work online. It's always so tempting to "take a break and check Facebook". But that happens so often that I'm wasting valuable time. I'm still undecided. Crap!

Or do as I do and set up leechblock or something for certain hours. You can put for example only 30 minutes a day, or you can NOT be on facebook between 9 and 18, or only on the weekends etc.

I don't want to stay off facebook (or the forums) completely, because I get a lot of value from it, and feel like I'm giving a lot of value as well. But I also don't want it to continue to be an unconscious habit.

[roxyruby]

people and what they say and think is just as real 10000 km away from eachother behind computer screens as right in front of eachother physically. It's communication, and it's both just as real & therefore just as worthy. Though its understandable to prefer to be physically close to people you have a close relationship with

it doesn't mean people or their relationships & friendships are less real or less worthy just because their bodies are not physically right next to eachother, their bodies and minds are just as real no matter how far away.

[Weena]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

it doesn't mean people or their relationships & friendships are less real or less worthy just because their bodies are not physically right next to eachother, their bodies and minds are just as real no matter how far away.

I like this. I have family over in Europe (my parents, siblings, and extended family)...I do consider our relationship "real" even if we can't be in the same room . Even if my young brothers don't drop a line they do secretly check on all the pictures of my children (as I found out recently ).

[munish]

I personally feel FB is a waste of time.

20 something crowd is also not compatible with me as a friend.

[klokkasju]

It’s a good idea to pause and take a lot at your social results. Has social networking transformed your life for the better? Has it helped bring empowering relationships, valuable contacts, and intelligent mentors into your life? Or does it leave you drifting in a sea of social drifters?

For me the last "or" isn't an exclusive one. I met some of my most valuable contacts and mentors online a few years ago. And those friends definitely transformed my life for the better. ... I also drifted a lot in the sea of meaningless online chit-chat for this years.

I found that the urge to spend hours a day with online "friends" naturally dropped when I managed to get the meaningful online friends into my real life. This included a lot of traveling at first, then moving to another city. Now for the first time in my life I have a social network (the old-fashioned-one ) right where I live. And found my new mentors and empowering relationships in every day life. Never consciously made the choice to quit the online chit-chat .. it just happend.

Looking back I'm just smiling about the change from a "I'm always online and have 2-3 computers running all the time"-person to one which could easily go 3 month without any electronic communication or entertainment device (such as mp3-player, laptop, tv, mobile phone etc.) without feeling socially deprived.