Human relationships Jan 2007

[jgies]

I just read Steve's Human relationships post; where the premis is that if I encounter bad behavior from others it's because I have that bad behavior in myself.

I have pondered and explored this idea for some time as this is an old "truth". Yet there are people that just behave badly.

As an example I have one relationship with a co-worker who does not keep commitments. If they set a deadline you can add a day, a week or sometimes even a month and they won't deliver. When I follow up, I am meddling.

On the other hand a survey of my co-workers and friends will tell you that if I make a commitment it is kept. If the deadline is being pushed out for a reason I proactively reach out to explain. So if I am reliable and my co worker is not how is that a reflection of my behavior?

I love your site

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by jgies

I just read Steve's Human relationships post; where the premis is that if I encounter bad behavior from others it's because I have that bad behavior in myself.

I have pondered and explored this idea for some time as this is an old "truth". Yet there are people that just behave badly.

As an example I have one relationship with a co-worker who does not keep commitments. If they set a deadline you can add a day, a week or sometimes even a month and they won't deliver. When I follow up, I am meddling.

On the other hand a survey of my co-workers and friends will tell you that if I make a commitment it is kept. If the deadline is being pushed out for a reason I proactively reach out to explain. So if I am reliable and my co worker is not how is that a reflection of my behavior?

I love your site

Do you set and keep committments to yourself? Like if you say "I'm going to lose 10lbs" do you follow through? Or "I'll work out 3 times a week" do you stick with it?

Sometimes, we're good at keeping committments to other people, but really bad at keeping committments to ourselves. It's like we value other people more then we value ourselves. It's quite common.

So, the universe might just be reflecting that back to you.

Just a guess though.