The Power of Connections (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

The Power of Connections

[James81]

Haha, when you asked the question, which scenario best describe you right now? My automatic answer was "somewhere in the middle." And then in the next paragraph, you mention the bit about "if your answer was 'somewhere in the middle'..."

I chuckled at that.

This post comes at a good time for me. Not in the sense of physical clutter, but, rather, taking care of business that needs taking care of. The mental clutter that comes from procrastination is a huge part of this.

De-cluttering is actually a huge thing (google it). There are whole websites and books and programs devoted to the idea, and I think it's a powerful source for freeing up mental resources. Even something as simple as keeping your email inbox clean makes a huge mental difference I've noticed.

[ssandra]

Thank you for this post.

This especially:

Make a list of qualities you’d like to have in friends, lovers, coworkers, etc. Post it where you can see it. Spend 10 minutes a day imagining that you’re already there. You can do while lying in bed as you drift off to sleep.

is something that I will start doing, as off today!!

I'm in a "lucky" position of being neutral. No bad connections to get rid of, just good connections to add

I've already started at the CGW, and I'm staying in touch with those people, having a Master Mind group with some of them, being friends with most of them, and even starting a group that practices talking about growth and fun stuff in Spanish together!

(anyone who wants to join the Spanish skype call group, sent me a message! Only requirement, willingness to learn and/or speak Spanish and be a nice person!)

I haven't had the energy yet to really go out and make new friends, and I'm not sure when I will have that energy, it may be another week or so... but making the list is something that I can and will do today!

[Bradshaw]

Some people in my life thought it was cold-blooded and ruthless of me to leave my city and abandon every single friend I had to go to a new city. Indeed, my thoughts at the time were "These people are unworthy of being in my life."

A few months later and I'm waking up to a psychic, loving, sexual, pleasurable, delicious and cuddly lover who makes me vegan meals every day; my friends are equally awesome.

Sometimes just making the decision to only accept high quality people into your life automatically draws such people into your life.

[SarahLuvzYu]

BRB, going to go clean my room & set my vision board up I bought yesterday...

[ChrisG]

Nice and inspiring. A supportive home base is where it's at

I have a bookshelf above my bed with lots of insightful and stimulating reads on it, I wake up to the best bits of my favourite music every day (yes I actually put the mp3s through Audacity to get the best bits of the tunes!) and I have inspiring posters on my wall... but I still have my mom to deal with since I still live with my family. So a bit of both, really.

[danas]

thank you!!

[inverse Paranoid]

What's more empowering? Being able to control your environment, or being able to control how you interact with it?

By holding a mindset that stresses you out whenever your environment is cluttered, or the people around you are ornery, aren't you then giving your power away to your environment?

What exactly are the best parameters for personal growth? Is it existing in an environment where you can control everything? Or learning to leverage the variables you have unconditional control over by exposing yourself to uncontrollable environments? Would you grow more from spending the rest of your life on the Holodeck—where EVERYTHING is under your control? Or by vagabonding and going wherever the wind blows you?

Just as no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, nothing can stress you out without you focusing on it in a way that creates resistance. If you can make peace with any environment, you can find peace in any environment. If you can make peace with any person (no matter their attitude), then you are free to focus on any aspect of any person in your environment and create interactions accordingly, because you're making what resonates with you most the topic of discussion, not what annoys you most.

Growth is everywhere. The better you can get at controlling your focus, the more freedom you'll have from the need to control your environment. You'll be able to enjoy yourself in the finest of restaurants seated next to the most conscious of people, and in the dingiest of prisons seated next to the most bitter of prisoners. Because the Oneness within us all means that the good within everything we love exists in every particle of the world around us. And it is there for us the conscious to find it, embrace it, and reap its benefits.

[yogi]

Originally Posted by inverse Paranoid

What's more empowering? Being able to control your environment, or being able to control how you interact with it?

By holding a mindset that stresses you out whenever your environment is cluttered, or the people around you are ornery, aren't you then giving your power away to your environment?

What exactly are the best parameters for personal growth? Is it existing in an environment where you can control everything? Or learning to leverage the variables you have unconditional control over by exposing yourself to uncontrollable environments? Would you grow more from spending the rest of your life on the Holodeck—where EVERYTHING is under your control? Or by vagabonding and going wherever the wind blows you?

Just as no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, nothing can stress you out without you focusing on it in a way that creates resistance. If you can make peace with any environment, you can find peace in any environment. If you can make peace with any person (no matter their attitude), then you are free to focus on any aspect of any person in your environment and create interactions accordingly, because you're making what resonates with you most the topic of discussion, not what annoys you most.

Growth is everywhere. The better you can get at controlling your focus, the more freedom you'll have from the need to control your environment. You'll be able to enjoy yourself in the finest of restaurants seated next to the most conscious of people, and in the dingiest of prisons seated next to the most bitter of prisoners. Because the Oneness within us all means that the good within everything we love exists in every particle of the world around us. And it is there for us the conscious to find it, embrace it, and reap its benefits.

This!


(By the way -- IP -- I've thanked you before, but I want to thank you again ---> thank you again for how you once explained LoA & Abraham Logic to me. Peace and love my man.)

[Lamusa]

Originally Posted by inverse Paranoid

What's more empowering? Being able to control your environment, or being able to control how you interact with it?

By holding a mindset that stresses you out whenever your environment is cluttered, or the people around you are ornery, aren't you then giving your power away to your environment?

What exactly are the best parameters for personal growth? Is it existing in an environment where you can control everything? Or learning to leverage the variables you have unconditional control over by exposing yourself to uncontrollable environments? Would you grow more from spending the rest of your life on the Holodeck—where EVERYTHING is under your control? Or by vagabonding and going wherever the wind blows you?

Just as no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, nothing can stress you out without you focusing on it in a way that creates resistance. If you can make peace with any environment, you can find peace in any environment. If you can make peace with any person (no matter their attitude), then you are free to focus on any aspect of any person in your environment and create interactions accordingly, because you're making what resonates with you most the topic of discussion, not what annoys you most.

Growth is everywhere. The better you can get at controlling your focus, the more freedom you'll have from the need to control your environment. You'll be able to enjoy yourself in the finest of restaurants seated next to the most conscious of people, and in the dingiest of prisons seated next to the most bitter of prisoners. Because the Oneness within us all means that the good within everything we love exists in every particle of the world around us. And it is there for us the conscious to find it, embrace it, and reap its benefits.

These are wise, wise words and so spot on! I know many "conscious" (I think this can mean many different things for many people) people who live in very stressful environments - full of dirt and crime. Some people who live in cleaner places(homes and neighborhoods) even glamorize these environments looking to come someplace not so sterile where they feel that many people are down to earth, more human and real. Some even "consciously" choose to live in these environments because they've seen them on TV and thought they were "cool." A lot of people who live in environments such as these form strong community connections. Some even have to dig into deeper parts of themselves to become more conscious in ways that make sense for their own lives and the lives of the people in their communities. Happiness and being conscious is full of so many nuances. We allow the media, including new age media, to influence us as to what being conscious and happy really means. But this is something we must discover for ourselves. I don't think that because a person lives in an environment that we judge to be unconscious that this is necessarily a reflection on the person but more a reflection on the person doing the judging.

[James Fletcher]

Originally Posted by inverse Paranoid

What's more empowering? Being able to control your environment, or being able to control how you interact with it?

By holding a mindset that stresses you out whenever your environment is cluttered, or the people around you are ornery, aren't you then giving your power away to your environment?

What exactly are the best parameters for personal growth? Is it existing in an environment where you can control everything? Or learning to leverage the variables you have unconditional control over by exposing yourself to uncontrollable environments? Would you grow more from spending the rest of your life on the Holodeck—where EVERYTHING is under your control? Or by vagabonding and going wherever the wind blows you?

Just as no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, nothing can stress you out without you focusing on it in a way that creates resistance. If you can make peace with any environment, you can find peace in any environment. If you can make peace with any person (no matter their attitude), then you are free to focus on any aspect of any person in your environment and create interactions accordingly, because you're making what resonates with you most the topic of discussion, not what annoys you most.

Growth is everywhere. The better you can get at controlling your focus, the more freedom you'll have from the need to control your environment. You'll be able to enjoy yourself in the finest of restaurants seated next to the most conscious of people, and in the dingiest of prisons seated next to the most bitter of prisoners. Because the Oneness within us all means that the good within everything we love exists in every particle of the world around us. And it is there for us the conscious to find it, embrace it, and reap its benefits.

I agree. Regardless of variables such as my environment and the actions of other people, my growth depends upon what I decide to focus upon.

However, I have found that where I am now, my skills at self improvement are about on par with my swimming skills. I have never been a strong swimmer - 50 meters freestyle still leaves me wrecked. Similarly are my current circumstances - I have identified that they do not fit in with the person I wish to be - and I struggle with resistance in the forms of frustration and anger.

So while I could definitely find contentment and probably even happiness by making peace with my current circumstances and accepting them unconditionally, I believe that endeavoring to do so right away would be like attempting to swim 500 meters non stop under my current level of fitness. I know that it's not impossible, but it's not something that I will achieve immediately.

I like Steve's approach because it is an easy place for a guy like me to start. Changing my surroundings and meeting new people will help me to improve my outlook and slowly help me gain the power to identify what's holding me back - finding the sources of stubborn resistance within myself that need to be faced - and how I can eventually overcome them.

Also, as a guy in my mid 20s, there are many things that I wish to experience and quite a few goals that I wish to achieve. Going wherever the wind blows me just seems a little too airy fairy from my present perspective. If I tried to let go completely, my ego would fight me, hard.

Nonetheless, if this is something that you desire for yourself and have already achieved, then I am happy for you. Maybe someday I will surrender too, but just not today or tomorrow.

If you think you’re strong enough to be immune to the effects of your environment, then let’s put you in prison for a year and see how well you thrive there.

Been there, done that. It was a prison by the name of discount retail penitentiary. The strangled customers and dismembered supervisors of my daydreams can attest to how well I thrived during my twelve month sentence.

[Isita]

I was reading this at work and I found myself complaining about my coworkers. That what the lowest thing to do . . . my God! now I know why I am sorrounded by them!
Thank you Steve, this article was like a slap on my face!

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

The Power of Connections

This article seemed a little more about the power of your environment rather than your connections per se. But, environment is incredibly important of course.

"The power of connections" does remind me of something Eben Pagan taught in a seminar once: That if you want to "get your life handled" you should start with 1) your health, because you can instantly change your diet and start exercising and see immediate results, then 2) building friendships and relationships (connections), because once you are getting yourself physically fit and physically healthy and attractive, it will be easier to find other healthy-minded individuals to connect to, then finally focus on 3) building your wealth, which could take years, but if you have already mastered your personal health and also built connections with other people, it will be immensely easier.

So, your building connections, and more subtly but just as important, choosing your environment, is one of the prime factors in getting the three main parts of life handled: health, relationships and wealth.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

This article seemed a little more about the power of your environment rather than your connections per se. But, environment is incredibly important of course.

"The power of connections" does remind me of something Eben Pagan taught in a seminar once: That if you want to "get your life handled" you should start with 1) your health, because you can instantly change your diet and start exercising and see immediate results, then 2) building friendships and relationships (connections), because once you are getting yourself physically fit and physically healthy and attractive, it will be easier to find other healthy-minded individuals to connect to, then finally focus on 3) building your wealth, which could take years, but if you have already mastered your personal health and also built connections with other people, it will be immensely easier.

So, your building connections, and more subtly but just as important, choosing your environment, is one of the prime factors in getting the three main parts of life handled: health, relationships and wealth.

I've written a few articles along these lines too:

From 2005:
Start With the Physical

From 2006:
Ask Steve – Where to Begin Your Path of Personal Growth

[yogi]

My net take-away from this discussion is:

1) What I can control in my environment -- I should (as long as I'm compassionate to others and empowering myself) -- thanks SP.

2) If I can't control certain things in my environment, that's okay too -- I can still control my reaction or my interaction with them, and I can still make the net result positive and empowering -- thanks IP.

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I've written a few articles along these lines too:

From 2005:
Start With the Physical

From 2006:
Ask Steve – Where to Begin Your Path of Personal Growth

You know what Steve, I have been preaching this stuff without following through on it lately.

At the beginning of this past summer I moved into a new apartment and totally lost hold of all of my exercise habits I had been practicing before then.

I just read your first link and your comparison to extra body weight being the same as carrying around a dumbbell of weights every day really struck me, namely because I have a pair of 25lb dumbbells sitting on my living room floor that I haven't used in weeks, and I am definitely 25lbs or more over my ideal weight. I just thought about how difficult it would be to carry those around all day, and then realized that I already am carrying more than that around in bodyweight that I don't want.

Your comparison really struck home for me and in fact, because of it I just placed an order on Amazon for a workout-at-home fitness DVD set that I have been meaning to get for the last several weeks but have been making up excuses for not doing so.

So.. thank you. I will have them in 4 to 14 business days and be exercising daily once again thanks to you and your very "heavy" () analogy.