Being Passive in Dreams, Passive in Life

[John68]

Steve (or whoever's out there) -

I'm a new member of the community but a regular reader of this blog since 2006. I've studied Jungian dreamwork for the past couple of years, but haven't gotten much out of it. But I recently had a revelation, and I'm wondering if you (or anyone out there) can help me with it:

In my dreams (at least the ones I remember), I tend to be very passive. Things happen TO me, but never of my own initiative. I find myself dreaming of being IN events but not controlling or initiating them. Sometimes I find myself surrounded by powerful people who are always DOING or GOING, and yet I'm just watching them. Or I'll have a dream where I'm at a gathering, a party, and I'm always the outsider. Everyone else is comfortable and engaged, and I'm not. I recognize that in the Jungian framework (and in what you've been writing about in your subjective reality experiment), all the 'characters' in a dream are just different parts/sides of me. Therefore, all of the 'active' people in a dream are parts of me. But why am I such a passive observer? Why can't I integrate and 'become' one of the active doers?

My question: If life is truly objective, a dream, how can I change this passivity in my dreams and in my life? How can I become more active, more powerful? Is it possible?

[Angela]

Hi John, and welcome to the forums!

It's funny, that even your post itself is worded very passively. You might want to consider adjusting your thinking and your language, and projecting those thoughts out into physical reality, the way a baby learns to walk by first having an image of what it wants to do, and then projecting that image out and following it.

What, specifically, would totally light you up and have you loving your life if you were to do it right now? What reality would you like to step into, easily and effortlessly? What would you be feeling, seeing, hearing, smelling, and tasting? What would your body be doing as you glide powerfully through space?

[John68]

I have some hardcore belief systems that really get challenged by questions like that. My experience in the past has shown me that often, when I decide what I want, go after it, and don't get it, that wanting=pain. Therefore, don't want. Be happy with whatever you get.

And I'm sick of it.

Does it REALLY work to believe the opposite? To believe that I can, as you say, "step into" a new reality? Can you give me a simple example?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by John68

I have some hardcore belief systems that really get challenged by questions like that. My experience in the past has shown me that often, when I decide what I want, go after it, and don't get it, that wanting=pain. Therefore, don't want. Be happy with whatever you get.

And I'm sick of it.

Well, I can see how that kind of believing would keep you behaving passively, alright!

Does it REALLY work to believe the opposite? To believe that I can, as you say, "step into" a new reality? Can you give me a simple example?

In my experience, believing the opposite of beliefs that haven't been working well, doesn't work too well, either. Your unconscious mind will tend to sneer at you if you try to pull the wool over its eyes by telling you something in conflict with what it believes is reality. That goes against its prime directive: to protect and preserve you - it occurs like a real threat.

I think it would work well to examine that old belief you have ("wanting=pain") and if you find it doesn't work well for you, dismantle it and generate something that works better -- which, again in my experience, is rarely the opposite of the not-well-working thought. There are a bunch of great ways to do that, and of course a session with me is the best way! You can also try The Work of Byron Katie The Work of Byron Katie, which you can do on your own, for free.

So many examples of stepping into a new reality, it's hard to choose. One that made a huge difference in my life was letting go of an old belief that "I am worthless" and generating a new, inspiring belief that who I am is the possibility of being Freedom, Connection, and Joy -- and in the blink of an eye, just like that, I went from being the most shy person in the world, absolutely terrified of public speaking, to speaking to a crowd of 400 people with charisma and connection and freedom and joy, easily and effortlessly, and noticing that my shyness was a thing of the past.

[Illuminatus]

Originally Posted by John68

I have some hardcore belief systems that really get challenged by questions like that. My experience in the past has shown me that often, when I decide what I want, go after it, and don't get it, that wanting=pain. Therefore, don't want. Be happy with whatever you get.

This is the crux of the issue right here. Your passivity is a result of not wanting it BAD ENOUGH. Raise your tolerance to pain, and refuse to let things get in the way of what you want to achieve.

Also don't be afraid to dream big.

[John68]

Thanks for the advice! I'll practice this over the next few weeks. It's important for me to be really clear about what I want, which will also be a good test for me. I think this would be perfect for a 30-day trial.