Awesome goals vs. "crappy goals"

[danas]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

"*make a film about x" XD

LMAO!

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

You do need a base, but your base is not a place.

Securing your base is your delay tactic, which is keeping you from fully embracing your awesome goal.

Your awesome goal is scarier -- but also a lot more exciting -- than getting a place.

If you REALLY wanted a place, you could get one in an afternoon. But you don't care enough about that "goal" to make it happen fast. Deep down you'd rather be doing something else.

^^ I love this.

[interchangeable]

I get the feeling from reading this whole thread that you don't actually have this deep, burning hunger to travel. You've said a few times you feel pressured by your dad to travel, like he has this expectation of you to travel. You've said a few times that you feel almost obligated to travel because you have this opportunity to do it cheaply through your mom. But I didn't really see anything stand out that said *I want to travel so badly it keeps me up at night.* I didn't see excitement there.

I also didn't really pick up a *travel to teach english* hunger either. Again, you mentioned an *obligation* to get something out of the whole homeless experience with the teaching english courses. It seems more like duty, again.

The only place you expressed a genuine interest in traveling to was Melbourne where, clearly, you would not need to teach english. Why Melbourne? Because you could embrace painting there.

You want to paint. That is very clear. You seem to be putting all these obstacles in your way and misdirecting yourself in the most fantastically complex and convoluted ways in order to avoid a life of painting.

Are you afraid to just really let yourself go and just paint your life? You don't have to go to Melbourne to do it. You don't have to move out or get a *home base* or travel or any of that. You could turn away from your computer and do it right now.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by Johnny Skosnik

How goals should be phrased is an interesting topic. In one of Steve's earlier articles he mentioned they should be specific, have a firm future due date and easily answer the question "have I reached this goal?" More recently (May 2006) he posted:



My take: the former type of goal is "I earn X dollars / month by selling my artwork by December of this year." The latter: "I am an artist who recognizes and is inspired by the natural beauty all around me and makes others aware of it through my art."

I like the second approach. The first turns the goal into an intimidating uber-task that must be done before this date or it's total fail. The second, in contrast, is more a mindset, a state of being. Now how to ensure that this mindset is actively maintained and doesn't become a fantasy, a delusion? That's where you have tasks that maintain this mindset goal: "I will meditate for ten minutes each day." "I will create ten sketches per week." "I will find a new place outdoors to paint each month." "I will attend at least one art class per semester at my local community college." Note there are no hard deadlines, but rather tasks that should be done every day / week / month / semester. If a task slips it's not a disaster but a gentle reminder to get back on track, there's always next time. Conversely when the tasks are done for now you can honestly claim your reality is congruent with your mindset goal and feel accomplished.

Very interesting post and a fine example of one of the things that bugs me about PD. Goal setting is a grass roots wholesome topic for PD- aspirations that become goals form the basis of change (hopefully for the better)- and surely that's the aim of PD.

And to an extent, this confusion is where it all falls apart. Instead of just being able to "Set goals" and then get on with it, we are now faced with options- chances to analyse and assess which "goal" setting method works best for us- which lens to view through. And it's almost like you have to scrape everything right back to the "way the world really works" to get your answers. The problem is- no one knows!

It sounds great to state a goal, to be specific about it and put a deadline onto it. In reality this is probably how most things are achieved. But now if you start saying we only exist in "the now" we are once again out of our depth in the muddy waters. It's almost like we set out to make an extra 10 dollars but we have to assess how the universe works in order to set a goal to do so.

This is why Steve's newletter article was so good- it at least narrowed down (fairly clearly I thought) the types of goals we should ideally be setting. But now I see confusion arising from that- surely this is bread and butter basics? Sometimes it feels like standing close to the north pole and trying to use a compass!

[elucidate]

Uh, I already live in Melbourne! I've been here for over 6 years now.

And I do already paint...I have ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of paintings...I just don't do it as much as I want to, which is every day. The thing with painting though, something truly inspiring doesn't always come up every day...it comes and goes.

And I know it doesn't require a "home base"... if you read my post carefully you would notice that I mentioned that I felt like the time had come for me to move into a place of my own, as I have been in the same place for over 3 years, and the energy of the place has gone for me. That has nothing to do with painting though.

Why can't people read what I write and hear me without mixing all the things I write up...it frustrates the hell out of me to be honest. I hate repeating myself...it is one of my most petted hates in life infact, and I seem to do it all the time on this forum. I realize that this is something I probably need to improve on as well.

Steve's telling me I need the guts to live my dream...the fact is I AM LIVING MY DREAM!
I have made most of the things I wanted to achieve happen since I moved to melbourne. This thread had nothing to do with my awesome goals...it had to do with making the point that peoples perceptions of what is awesome and crappy can be different!

I already make space in my bedroom to paint when I feel like it, and have been working towards making it more of a habit. The other things have been stuff I've been doing as well. I was interested in doing the english course, and now I'm not so much, but I feel like it would be a good thing to finish and have waiting if and when I do travel.

I am not as hungry for travel as I once was, it is true. I have been working on getting my life back, and now it is. I would like to take advantage of the discounts I have at some point, just for now I've been feeling like I'm not doing enough.

Yes, these other things have been something I've been doing and feeling pressured by my father... so I need to just let go of that pressure and put it back onto him, as it is his issue and projection.
He has made it seem like an obligation that I HAVE to do before I'm old and I have allowed that projection to impose on my calm, which has ruined the thought of travel for me. Maybe he didn't mean for it to happen like this, but nevertheless, it has. It's all so easy. I really can just go anytime I want to, but it doesn't make me feel excited, as you observed.

If you read all my posts you would also see that I once associated painting with deep depression which I have spent the last 10 years pulling myself out of...so it is not so hard to understand why I might feel hesitant to throw myself back in full time, if you really thought about it. I am doing some here and there, and making a habit of doing at least one creative thing a day.

In the meantime, I still have to pay the bills and all the other stuff that goes with living, so I am working towards a balance...and I'll get there, I just need to cut all this other stuff out and not let my father put all this on me. It's his **** really.

The whole point of this thread was to make the point that one persons idea of what a "crappy" goal is can be another person idea of awesome...THAT WAS ALL I WAS SAYING, and it got blown up into this.

Originally Posted by interchangeable

I get the feeling from reading this whole thread that you don't actually have this deep, burning hunger to travel. You've said a few times you feel pressured by your dad to travel, like he has this expectation of you to travel. You've said a few times that you feel almost obligated to travel because you have this opportunity to do it cheaply through your mom. But I didn't really see anything stand out that said *I want to travel so badly it keeps me up at night.* I didn't see excitement there.

I also didn't really pick up a *travel to teach english* hunger either. Again, you mentioned an *obligation* to get something out of the whole homeless experience with the teaching english courses. It seems more like duty, again.

The only place you expressed a genuine interest in traveling to was Melbourne where, clearly, you would not need to teach english. Why Melbourne? Because you could embrace painting there.

You want to paint. That is very clear. You seem to be putting all these obstacles in your way and misdirecting yourself in the most fantastically complex and convoluted ways in order to avoid a life of painting.

Are you afraid to just really let yourself go and just paint your life? You don't have to go to Melbourne to do it. You don't have to move out or get a *home base* or travel or any of that. You could turn away from your computer and do it right now.

[ssandra]

Hi Luci,

Do you have a picture of one of your paintings? I'm very curious as to what you paint to be honest...

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Hi Luci,

Do you have a picture of one of your paintings? I'm very curious as to what you paint to be honest...

Hi,

I'd love to show you sandra, only my camera broke and until I get someone I know around who has one and can show me how to transfer it onto the net, I am unable to.

I've been told by some that one or two of my paintings are disturbing. The others are more abstracty and colourful. Some are just therapeutic and some are from the subconscious.

When I find someone who can help me I will, O.k

[ssandra]

Ok.

I love disturbing paintings. They make you think and feel.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Ok.

I love disturbing paintings. They make you think and feel.

I always find these faces in my paintings that come out...like ghosts. Some of them can be quite frightening looking, like demons or distorted faces of old ladies

I don't know what other people see when they view them, but for me, all this stuff about myself comes out and it's just for me. I think this is why I have not wanted to exhibit before...it felt so much like it was just mine...for me and no one else. I guess that is selfish but that's how it has felt.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Why can't people read what I write and hear me without mixing all the things I write up...it frustrates the hell out of me to be honest. I hate repeating myself...it is one of my most petted hates in life infact, and I seem to do it all the time on this forum. I realize that this is something I probably need to improve on as well.

This is a disempowering stance for you to adopt. You can't solve this problem at that level of thinking since that's the level that gives rise to the problem in the first place.

As I've been communicating for many years, I've been misunderstood and misquoted a great deal. Happens just about every day. But if I put too much blame on others for not listening, I'm giving my power away, and the problem just continues. On top of that, I then have to deal with my own frustration.

I think you'll discover as I have that when you feel like blaming others too strongly for not listening, you'll really pointing at yourself for not listening.

That's when you need to pause, take a deep breath, and realize that if the communication isn't happening effectively, you're 100% responsible for it.

Communicating clearly isn't about screaming at people to listen more. That doesn't help. When people aren't hearing you, it means you're not doing a very good job of communicating. For example, you may be trying to use plain text to convey emotional context, but text is a poor medium for that.

When you empower yourself, you can do things like use audio or video or face to face conversation instead of complaining via text, where emotions are so likely to be misunderstood.

For example, I use CGW to convey ideas that would be hard to convey through the medium of blogging. That seems a better choice than blogging about those ideas and then blaming people for not listening if they don't get it.

[interchangeable]

This is a disempowering stance for you to adopt. You can't solve this problem at that level of thinking since that's the level that gives rise to the problem in the first place.

As I've been communicating for many years, I've been misunderstood and misquoted a great deal. Happens just about every day. But if I put too much blame on others for not listening, I'm giving my power away, and the problem just continues. On top of that, I then have to deal with my own frustration.

I think you'll discover as I have that when you feel like blaming others too strongly for not listening, you'll really pointing at yourself for not listening.

That's when you need to pause, take a deep breath, and realize that if the communication isn't happening effectively, you're 100% responsible for it.

Communicating clearly isn't about screaming at people to listen more. That doesn't help. When people aren't hearing you, it means you're not doing a very good job of communicating. For example, you may be trying to use plain text to convey emotional context, but text is a poor medium for that.

When you empower yourself, you can do things like use audio or video or face to face conversation instead of complaining via text, where emotions are so likely to be misunderstood.

For example, I use CGW to convey ideas that would be hard to convey through the medium of blogging. That seems a better choice than blogging about those ideas and then blaming people for not listening if they don't get it.

Thank you for all of that Steve.

I have to say I was somewhat irked by your attitude throughout this thread Elucidate. That you started out posting in a decidely passive-aggressive way in an attempt to call Steve out on being judgmental about people's *crappy goals*. Then you got rather snarky with several posters because people took you at your word instead of seeing through to your passive-aggressive intent, that you admitted to later.

You've got quite snippy and short with posters for *not listening properly* etc. It just feels like you expect people to be perfect in their comprehension always and I don't see how you aren't setting yourself up for massive communication failure when you expect people to be so completely perfect it at it without exception.

I find it especially ironic considering no one got your initial post the way you intendied it to be. Which you decided was everyone else's communication error and not yours.

Anyway, I know that I'm not a perfect communicator and won't catch every single detail of every single post and may miss someting now and again. As you have made it very clear that you have absolutely no tolerance for imperfections such as those, I shall refrain from replying to you or posting to you directly in future.

All the best in your endeavors.

[rei]

Originally Posted by elucidate

That's highly possible.

I think I did feel a little like my own goals were being called crappy, and perhaps that was my own judgment of them?

I want a new place to live that is my own apartment...as I've been unwilling to work 40 hours a week to be able to afford to live on my own since I was 20...that's what I wanted . To have my own place as a base, so I could travel.

As I'm very sensitive, I didn't think that I could handle, and didn't want to work 5 days a week from 9-5, as I'm sure you understand. So I have had to compromise and live with so many different people over the years, some stable, others not so stable...all to be able to get to a point where I could manage to get my own place...which is only now beginning to seem like it's possible to me.

So yeah, it did seem a bit harsh to me that you would call it a crappy boring thing...though maybe it is? I don't feel particularly excited about having my own place anymore. I used to when I was younger, and now I'm just sort of accepting that I have to live with people the rest of my life or until I can get some sort of business going to make enough.

I want to travel all over the world, and that is slowly becoming a reality for me...but I feel like I do need a base to start from. Maybe not a house as such, but somewhere I can come back to when I'm done wandering. Not forever, just in between. I feel like I want to experience this.

I don't want a mortgage, and I've been working on myself for years to train my mind and whatnot...ala LOA to remain open to the universe helping me find a place just for me...as I'm not the sort of person who likes sharehousing...but have had to settle for it due to finances.

I did write down before though an old creative intention of mine, which was to write a script for a play, which made me feel energized, though I have no idea what it will be about. Writing and scriptwriting and painting is pretty much where my passions lie.

I suppose I have been judging my goals.

Yo luci. Haven't read this whole thread but wanted to weigh in.

I hear you re: sensitivity. I've been reassessing things lately for similar reasons, or sorta similar. But ya know, I'm finding I can do the full time schedule.

I just end up with that sensitivity burnout around lunch time, from the level of stimulation so the remaining part of the day isn't 100% fun for me. (I actually didn't even realize this is what was going on until the pattern clicked in my mind today.) But I also take time when I can, to plant my feet on the grass and just be, and this renews me. My work provides opportunities for me to do that in the middle of the day, or almost whenever I want to, while I'm on the job.

Plus I think about the money I'm making and the people I'm helping (even if I'm sorta encouraged to just 'go through the motions' due to circumstances - so confusing too, with the company line being expressed that's so counter to the unspoken realities)...

My point is, full time as a sensitive is possible to do. It just means you spend half the workday on the tired side. It's not a full-blown burnout either, like I wouldn't say it is anything at all like what most people mean by that term. It's the sort that goes away once you get off work and have time to recharge.

Full time as a sensitive is possible. Even more so when you're using an attitude that connects to this. (As in, if I was going through my day thinking, oh nooooo more to do, more demands, oh noooo my nervous system is about to burn out and I'm gonna be tired the rest of the day... I'm not sure I *could* keep doing it. Because I'd set up a big fat loop like that.)

Right now I am reevaluating things, but from the frame of Do I WANT to continue this road. Not the frame of Can I continue it. Because I can. I would imagine you could as well, if you wanted to consider this as an option. (I'm not suggesting you do that, by the way. Just bringing up the sense that I've learned through personal experience that a 40-hr workweek as a sensitive individual is doable. My particular work involves a lot of running around and dealing with grumpy folks and having to change my plans and, well, it's doable even with all of that. If you chose to do data entry at the clinic for forty hours a week it would probably not be that bad even with sensitivity. If you wanted to...)

Just wanted to chime in as a fellow sensitive who is doing the forty hour workweek and I'm still in one piece. Takes some adjusting of course, as with anything. Mindfulness helps. And it helps to schedule in renewing activities, whatever those might be. No one else will do it.

If I weren't so self-aware I might take the mini-burnout out on people but of course, it's not their fault. Even if they do something that makes things more complicated for me - it's not THEIR fault that my resources are distributed differently and that the system is not designed to be naturally supportive for sensory stimulation. It's also not their fault that I'm so in tune and connected that their vibes are really loud to me and that makes me feel sometimes like I'm just doing the social dance instead of being genuinely thrilled to connect with them. (I have been able to use natural light instead of the fluorescent lighting, which is nice.)

Actually reading this thread, I found myself inspired by the idea to feel genuinely excited to talk with people at any point in the day, even in the afternoon when my body is asking for a break, instead of phases where I pick up on the want-something-from-you and get inwardly reactivish.
I'm not sure that is an achievable goal, though.
It probably moves away from self-acceptance. I think instead it would help to consider what purpose there is in this nature and how I can move with it for win/win... which I think I'm doing anyway.

So just wanted to throw that out there, in case it might be helpful as you weigh your options.

[rei]

P.S. In case anyone thinks I don't see it, I am aware that what I was writing about doesn't speak to my own awesome goal.



No worries, my awesome goal is in the works as well. Definitely has the whole scary/exciting thing happening. And when my mental energy is back to 100% it's inspiring too. Seems there's a layer of fear or something that interferes at times but I suppose that's pretty common.

But yeah, I know my post did not read like someone talking about their passion. Cuz I wasn't. But it is possible to do the forty hour workweek even when you are sensitive. It's a great growth opportunity as well. Not really my cup of tea but doable and could be someone else's depending on their goals (i.e. living on their own, if they don't like the idea of multiple projects).

[elucidate]

Interchangeable: Actually Ssandra got what I was saying, first go! She was the only one though. Supertom caught on later on.
I think it was pretty clear when I wrote my OP, I was asking STEVE to visit and speak about HIS definition of what he considers "awesome" to be...for the purpose of making the point that crappy and awesome are different for different people.

I don't think I was being "passive-aggressive" about it though, I was just not revealing my intention for inviting him to discuss straight away. I wanted to make a point and argue his definition of crappy as opposed to awesome. I don't think I got particularly "snippy" either...maybe slightly with you! I think you are making me out to be alot worse than I am here.

It's more about reading the words that I write and not mixing them up to suit yourself...as with what you said about me feeling like I needed to get another place to live to be able to paint! That's NOT what I said at all.
Feeling like I needed a new home is a totally different issue to painting for me...and I expressed that clearly I think. I never said I can't paint until I get a new home, I said I was feeling like my time in this current home is over and I need to find a new place.

I agree with Steve though...and like I said, it probably means I am not doing a good enough job of reading other peoples posts either, and I can think of times when I haven't right now...though I think I sometimes understand what some people are saying better than others seem to, as has been the feedback I've received from them that they feel heard and understood by me. It's not a competition though.

Surely you can see the frustration in writing one thing and then having someone I don't even know (you) interpret it in a different way alltogether to how I wrote it out. That can be frustrating...it doesn't mean you need to take it as a personal attack...I'm more venting that I am frustrated by having to repeat myself constantly...not just with you, but with alot of people here at different times.

Most of the time when I do call someone out for not reading my words properly, they come back and say "oh, you're right...I didn't read that well" ...but you haven't even bothered to see where you didn't.

I don't expect people to be perfect at it at all, that's your interpretation, people aren't perfect and it is all in text so of course it is hard to read totally accurately...but I'm allowed to express frustration when it continually happens I think! It's quite normal to feel frustrated when something constantly happens like this, as Steve himself has said he also experienced.

I don't see any harm in ALL of us making more of an effort to read peoples texts more carefully instead of skimming over the words and missing vital parts just because we want everything to be fast and get through it to move on to the next one. It costs us all more time in the long run when the person has to repeat what they were saying a few times before people understand.

I include myself in there as well btw.

If you choose to not interact with me from now on over this one incidence, then what does that say about your own tolerance level?

I'm sure I will survive though. Best wishes to you as well.

Originally Posted by interchangeable

Thank you for all of that Steve.

I have to say I was somewhat irked by your attitude throughout this thread Elucidate. That you started out posting in a decidely passive-aggressive way in an attempt to call Steve out on being judgmental about people's *crappy goals*. Then you got rather snarky with several posters because people took you at your word instead of seeing through to your passive-aggressive intent, that you admitted to later.

You've got quite snippy and short with posters for *not listening properly* etc. It just feels like you expect people to be perfect in their comprehension always and I don't see how you aren't setting yourself up for massive communication failure when you expect people to be so completely perfect it at it without exception.

I find it especially ironic considering no one got your initial post the way you intendied it to be. Which you decided was everyone else's communication error and not yours.

Anyway, I know that I'm not a perfect communicator and won't catch every single detail of every single post and may miss someting now and again. As you have made it very clear that you have absolutely no tolerance for imperfections such as those, I shall refrain from replying to you or posting to you directly in future.

All the best in your endeavors.

[elucidate]

You're right. I could have worded it better...something like:

"It frustrates the hell out of me when I write something that I feel is clear, and people then misunderstand it, which means I have to take more time to repeat myself so they can, and still they misunderstand, and then the more I repeat myself, the more it seems like I'm "obsessed" with what I am repeating by others, which is yet another misunderstanding...so I have to repeat myself again. That is frustrating for me and I just wanted to express it"

Thanks Steve for the feedback.

I did actually add to that last post that it probably meant I wasn't reading other peoples posts very well either...just FYI.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

This is a disempowering stance for you to adopt. You can't solve this problem at that level of thinking since that's the level that gives rise to the problem in the first place.

As I've been communicating for many years, I've been misunderstood and misquoted a great deal. Happens just about every day. But if I put too much blame on others for not listening, I'm giving my power away, and the problem just continues. On top of that, I then have to deal with my own frustration.

I think you'll discover as I have that when you feel like blaming others too strongly for not listening, you'll really pointing at yourself for not listening.

That's when you need to pause, take a deep breath, and realize that if the communication isn't happening effectively, you're 100% responsible for it.

Communicating clearly isn't about screaming at people to listen more. That doesn't help. When people aren't hearing you, it means you're not doing a very good job of communicating. For example, you may be trying to use plain text to convey emotional context, but text is a poor medium for that.

When you empower yourself, you can do things like use audio or video or face to face conversation instead of complaining via text, where emotions are so likely to be misunderstood.

For example, I use CGW to convey ideas that would be hard to convey through the medium of blogging. That seems a better choice than blogging about those ideas and then blaming people for not listening if they don't get it.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by elucidate

"It frustrates the hell out of me when I write something that I feel is clear, and people then misunderstand it, which means I have to take more time to repeat myself so they can, and still they misunderstand, and then the more I repeat myself, the more it seems like I'm "obsessed" with what I am repeating by others, which is yet another misunderstanding...so I have to repeat myself again. That is frustrating for me and I just wanted to express it"

Elucidate, you seem to believe that repeating yourself is the way to have people people hear you the way you want to be heard.

You may want to consider trying something else, if you want to get different results.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Angela

Elucidate, you seem to believe that repeating yourself is the way to have people people hear you the way you want to be heard.

You may want to consider trying something else, if you want to get different results.

Tee hee

Btw grounding also helps with communication. If I am foggy my communication suffers, and when I'm more solid in myself it shifts.

But luci, I know you did not actually ask me for a tip on that. Carry on...

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by rei

Tee hee

Btw grounding also helps with communication. If I am foggy my communication suffers, and when I'm more solid in myself it shifts.

But luci, I know you did not actually ask me for a tip on that. Carry on...

No, it's a good tip...I was at work when I posted that OP so it's probably something I can not do in the future. When I'm at work I tend to be in my head alot or even dissociated. I also hadn't had my breakfast that day, so it's probably a factor.

Thanks rei.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Angela

Elucidate, you seem to believe that repeating yourself is the way to have people people hear you the way you want to be heard.

You may want to consider trying something else, if you want to get different results.

Yes...obviously I need to look at this.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by rei

Tee hee.

[elucidate]

Yes, I take time as well to do the stretches and just rest for a moment (sitting down alot and typing data). I also tell myself the positives of the job, and how it helps the community.

I've been noticing the burnout factor in the last week or so as well and taking steps to counter-act this.

I don't think I could do what I do 5 days a week though. It's majorly unstimulating, and is basically just a job to pay the rent with.

I reflected today on how the awesome goals I've got, I have made small steps towards and then talk myself out of them, like convincing myself that noone is gonna pay for what I'm offering during a recession where people are holding onto their beltbuckles and not spending on "luxury items" so much. But I realize that this is just my own neg thinking creeping in.

Thanks for the input rei. I'm sure it is possible to work 5 days a week, but it's not something I really WANT to do right now...as that would take away free time from my painting time.

Originally Posted by rei

Yo luci. Haven't read this whole thread but wanted to weigh in.

I hear you re: sensitivity. I've been reassessing things lately for similar reasons, or sorta similar. But ya know, I'm finding I can do the full time schedule.

I just end up with that sensitivity burnout around lunch time, from the level of stimulation so the remaining part of the day isn't 100% fun for me. (I actually didn't even realize this is what was going on until the pattern clicked in my mind today.) But I also take time when I can, to plant my feet on the grass and just be, and this renews me. My work provides opportunities for me to do that in the middle of the day, or almost whenever I want to, while I'm on the job.

Plus I think about the money I'm making and the people I'm helping (even if I'm sorta encouraged to just 'go through the motions' due to circumstances - so confusing too, with the company line being expressed that's so counter to the unspoken realities)...

My point is, full time as a sensitive is possible to do. It just means you spend half the workday on the tired side. It's not a full-blown burnout either, like I wouldn't say it is anything at all like what most people mean by that term. It's the sort that goes away once you get off work and have time to recharge.

Full time as a sensitive is possible. Even more so when you're using an attitude that connects to this. (As in, if I was going through my day thinking, oh nooooo more to do, more demands, oh noooo my nervous system is about to burn out and I'm gonna be tired the rest of the day... I'm not sure I *could* keep doing it. Because I'd set up a big fat loop like that.)

Right now I am reevaluating things, but from the frame of Do I WANT to continue this road. Not the frame of Can I continue it. Because I can. I would imagine you could as well, if you wanted to consider this as an option. (I'm not suggesting you do that, by the way. Just bringing up the sense that I've learned through personal experience that a 40-hr workweek as a sensitive individual is doable. My particular work involves a lot of running around and dealing with grumpy folks and having to change my plans and, well, it's doable even with all of that. If you chose to do data entry at the clinic for forty hours a week it would probably not be that bad even with sensitivity. If you wanted to...)

Just wanted to chime in as a fellow sensitive who is doing the forty hour workweek and I'm still in one piece. Takes some adjusting of course, as with anything. Mindfulness helps. And it helps to schedule in renewing activities, whatever those might be. No one else will do it.

If I weren't so self-aware I might take the mini-burnout out on people but of course, it's not their fault. Even if they do something that makes things more complicated for me - it's not THEIR fault that my resources are distributed differently and that the system is not designed to be naturally supportive for sensory stimulation. It's also not their fault that I'm so in tune and connected that their vibes are really loud to me and that makes me feel sometimes like I'm just doing the social dance instead of being genuinely thrilled to connect with them. (I have been able to use natural light instead of the fluorescent lighting, which is nice.)

Actually reading this thread, I found myself inspired by the idea to feel genuinely excited to talk with people at any point in the day, even in the afternoon when my body is asking for a break, instead of phases where I pick up on the want-something-from-you and get inwardly reactivish.
I'm not sure that is an achievable goal, though.
It probably moves away from self-acceptance. I think instead it would help to consider what purpose there is in this nature and how I can move with it for win/win... which I think I'm doing anyway.

So just wanted to throw that out there, in case it might be helpful as you weigh your options.

[Johnny Skosnik]

I think you have received some excellent advice in this threat, elucidate. I admire artists like yourself and hope you'll consider this advice to help yourself bring beauty to this world.

Originally Posted by elucidate

...convincing myself that noone is gonna pay for what I'm offering during a recession where people are holding onto their beltbuckles and not spending on "luxury items" so much.

That's fear and it is dis-empowering. I spoke with a professional artist who paints fantasy scenes (elves, unicorns, fairies, etc). She said around late-2008 (when here in the United States we were at the very bottom of an economic meltdown) her sales were down 30%, she could barely pay her bills and considered abandoning her artistry and taking a menial job with steady income. Instead she sought new revenue streams: every day for several weeks she took her pencils and sketch pad to a nearby marina, approached each boat's owner and offered to draw their boat for $20- $40.

Over 90% agreed. While the owners were also hurting from the recession they were still quite proud of their boat and delighted to have a custom-made print of it. She made enough money from these boat drawings to stay above water (pardon the pun ).

Here's the crazy thing: previously her fantasy work was rather abstract but drawing these boats forced her to focus on details and keep it realistic. Her new skills is realism made her fantasy artwork even better and now she's making more money selling it than before the recession.

Point is elucidate, don't let fear get in your way. If you truly embrace your goals and dreams the universe has a funny way of making it all work out.

[secrets0stolen]

Originally Posted by Johnny Skosnik

I think you have received some excellent advice in this threat, elucidate. I admire artists like yourself and hope you'll consider this advice to help yourself bring beauty to this world.



That's fear and it is dis-empowering. I spoke with a professional artist who paints fantasy scenes (elves, unicorns, fairies, etc). She said around late-2008 (when here in the United States we were at the very bottom of an economic meltdown) her sales were down 30%, she could barely pay her bills and considered abandoning her artistry and taking a menial job with steady income. Instead she sought new revenue streams: every day for several weeks she took her pencils and sketch pad to a nearby marina, approached each boat's owner and offered to draw their boat for $20- $40.

Over 90% agreed. While the owners were also hurting from the recession they were still quite proud of their boat and delighted to have a custom-made print of it. She made enough money from these boat drawings to stay above water (pardon the pun ).

Here's the crazy thing: previously her fantasy work was rather abstract but drawing these boats forced her to focus on details and keep it realistic. Her new skills is realism made her fantasy artwork even better and now she's making more money selling it than before the recession.

Point is elucidate, don't let fear get in your way. If you truly embrace your goals and dreams the universe has a funny way of making it all work out.

I know this wasn't addressed at me, but this has got to be one of the most inspiring stories I've ever heard: completely marvelous anyway you look at it. I'd venture to call it winfinity.

[Weena]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Ok.

I love disturbing paintings. They make you think and feel.

That is why i LOVE Hieronimus Bosch. I have "garden of the earthly delights" in my bedroom. I remember being a teenager standing in the museum of arts in Brussels not being able to move to an other painting.

[elucidate]

Thanks Johnny.

I do realize it is fear that is the culprit here, and I want to push through it. I have already looked into teaching at the local community centres how to tap into creative potential by working past your limited belief systems. First I have to get past my own though

There are already some people there who are doing the same thing as I want to, and they have degrees in art therapy and the arts...I have no degree and am completely self-taught and my intention is to work intuitively with individuals to uncover their imposed "gremlins" which stop them from being creative , whichever way they see creativity, not just painting. My awesome goal is to help create a happier society...I just have to do that for myself as well and not let the fear stop me...ironically.

Originally Posted by Johnny Skosnik

I think you have received some excellent advice in this threat, elucidate. I admire artists like yourself and hope you'll consider this advice to help yourself bring beauty to this world.



That's fear and it is dis-empowering. I spoke with a professional artist who paints fantasy scenes (elves, unicorns, fairies, etc). She said around late-2008 (when here in the United States we were at the very bottom of an economic meltdown) her sales were down 30%, she could barely pay her bills and considered abandoning her artistry and taking a menial job with steady income. Instead she sought new revenue streams: every day for several weeks she took her pencils and sketch pad to a nearby marina, approached each boat's owner and offered to draw their boat for $20- $40.

Over 90% agreed. While the owners were also hurting from the recession they were still quite proud of their boat and delighted to have a custom-made print of it. She made enough money from these boat drawings to stay above water (pardon the pun ).

Here's the crazy thing: previously her fantasy work was rather abstract but drawing these boats forced her to focus on details and keep it realistic. Her new skills is realism made her fantasy artwork even better and now she's making more money selling it than before the recession.

Point is elucidate, don't let fear get in your way. If you truly embrace your goals and dreams the universe has a funny way of making it all work out.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Johnny Skosnik

I think you have received some excellent advice in this threat, elucidate. I admire artists like yourself and hope you'll consider this advice to help yourself bring beauty to this world.



That's fear and it is dis-empowering. I spoke with a professional artist who paints fantasy scenes (elves, unicorns, fairies, etc). She said around late-2008 (when here in the United States we were at the very bottom of an economic meltdown) her sales were down 30%, she could barely pay her bills and considered abandoning her artistry and taking a menial job with steady income. Instead she sought new revenue streams: every day for several weeks she took her pencils and sketch pad to a nearby marina, approached each boat's owner and offered to draw their boat for $20- $40.

Over 90% agreed. While the owners were also hurting from the recession they were still quite proud of their boat and delighted to have a custom-made print of it. She made enough money from these boat drawings to stay above water (pardon the pun ).

Here's the crazy thing: previously her fantasy work was rather abstract but drawing these boats forced her to focus on details and keep it realistic. Her new skills is realism made her fantasy artwork even better and now she's making more money selling it than before the recession.

Point is elucidate, don't let fear get in your way. If you truly embrace your goals and dreams the universe has a funny way of making it all work out.

Good post

Damn I just signed up to the newsletter, but does that mean I will miss out on this issue?

[ellie]

Ok now I read the article

I have to agree about the setting crappy goals idea. But I don't know...I'm learning "action" is the actual key. Doing rather than saying!

All my kick-ass goals have come to fruition from action. Saying, "right this is what I want x, y and z". Lets do it!In the next two weeks, I will reach this goal.

What I have learnt from putting goals into action almost instantly is the continual growth of an idea. So what I first imagine a project to be, actual turns out quite differently as it evolves. But it's a lovely thing to see evolving, and it's almost like I'm not in charge of it. Something else is at play.

The other thing to factor in, is some people might not be into big goals, they might not have a passion, or the personality for implementing big goals. I'm very entrepreneurial in spirt, entrepreneurial people are "doers" rather than "sayers". But not everyone has this trait. Or maybe they do?

[secrets0stolen]

Originally Posted by elucidate

There are already some people there who are doing the same thing as I want to, and they have degrees in art therapy and the arts...I have no degree and am completely self-taught and my intention is to work intuitively with individuals to uncover their imposed "gremlins" which stop them from being creative , whichever way they see creativity, not just painting. My awesome goal is to help create a happier society...I just have to do that for myself as well and not let the fear stop me...ironically.

This sounds really inspired, and an absolutely amazing service--on so many levels.

[ssandra]

Sandra: Official supplier of Steve Pavlina Newsletters for the very low low price of 1.99. Order now, and get your next one for free!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by elucidate

...my intention is to work intuitively with individuals to uncover their imposed "gremlins" which stop them from being creative , whichever way they see creativity, not just painting. My awesome goal is to help create a happier society...I just have to do that for myself as well and not let the fear stop me...ironically.

That's the thing about helping people unconceal their hidden gunk -- you pretty much have to experience it for yourself, to be an excellent guide for others. Looking at it from this side it's scary -- but when you've peeled back some layers of the onion, it's easy to be grateful, and to be willing to go even deeper.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Angela

That's the thing about helping people unconceal their hidden gunk -- you pretty much have to experience it for yourself, to be an excellent guide for others. Looking at it from this side it's scary -- but when you've peeled back some layers of the onion, it's easy to be grateful, and to be willing to go even deeper.

Oh believe me, I've experienced ALOT of it. Maybe not here...lets just say I've taken a sabbatical

I had this intention over 10 years ago, and have worked through quite a few gremlins in that time. I also seem to have taken a 360 turn and ended up where I was a few years ago, so it's interesting how you can think you've made certain progress with some things, and then find that they are jumping in your face again saying "uh uh...we're not done with you yet"