Awesome goals vs. "crappy goals"

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

Because "a richer social life", and all the goals that followed in brackets are unlikely to stir up the kind of feelings inside that this article of Steves was trying to generate. It can easily be put off.

For you maybe not. But for me that is something that gets closer and closer to an awesome goal...

(not saying that it is in itself an awesome goal. I'm not sure yet what that would be for me... but the closer I come to the end of the brackets, the more it makes my heart race and makes me want to go out and get it).

[elucidate]

I totally understand this, and I think the same way.

I don't think in terms of wanting more money, though I am open to abundance of all kinds...and all the great things that money can buy. I have lived very well and had much of what I wanted come to me without money being a factor at all.

The only reason I would want money at the moment, is to publish the children's book I have written and illustrated in order to have complete creative control without bossy publishers changing the story to their liking.

I'd be waiting tables for a long time to be able to pay for publishing...which costs around $30,000. I've put it out there to the universe, and it is taking it's sweet time

Originally Posted by ssandra

I get that, it is easy to get that potentially from the news letter.

However, I think he used those specific examples because they are usually the things that people think they want, because the neighbors want that

I do think that for most people instead of money, a more awesome goal is what they want to do with that money. I know it is for me...

Same with a house.. I'd love a bigger house, but why? Because I could have more friends over, more family staying over etc. So what do I really want? A richer social life. And even that I could break down into more awesomeness, if I wanted to (more connections, feeling connected, being more present etc.)

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by ssandra

For you maybe not. But for me that is something that gets closer and closer to an awesome goal...

(not saying that it is in itself an awesome goal. I'm not sure yet what that would be for me... but the closer I come to the end of the brackets, the more it makes my heart race and makes me want to go out and get it).

I understand we are all different but how can you set a goal of "being more present"?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

That's highly possible.

I think I did feel a little like my own goals were being called crappy, and perhaps that was my own judgment of them?

I want a new place to live that is my own apartment...as I've been unwilling to work 40 hours a week to be able to afford to live on my own since I was 20...that's what I wanted . To have my own place as a base, so I could travel.

As I'm very sensitive, I didn't think that I could handle, and didn't want to work 5 days a week from 9-5, as I'm sure you understand. So I have had to compromise and live with so many different people over the years, some stable, others not so stable...all to be able to get to a point where I could manage to get my own place...which is only now beginning to seem like it's possible to me.

So yeah, it did seem a bit harsh to me that you would call it a crappy boring thing...though maybe it is? I don't feel particularly excited about having my own place anymore. I used to when I was younger, and now I'm just sort of accepting that I have to live with people the rest of my life or until I can get some sort of business going to make enough.

I want to travel all over the world, and that is slowly becoming a reality for me...but I feel like I do need a base to start from. Maybe not a house as such, but somewhere I can come back to when I'm done wandering. Not forever, just in between. I feel like I want to experience this.

I don't want a mortgage, and I've been working on myself for years to train my mind and whatnot...ala LOA to remain open to the universe helping me find a place just for me...as I'm not the sort of person who likes sharehousing...but have had to settle for it due to finances.

I did write down before though an old creative intention of mine, which was to write a script for a play, which made me feel energized, though I have no idea what it will be about. Writing and scriptwriting and painting is pretty much where my passions lie.

I suppose I have been judging my goals.

You do need a base, but your base is not a place.

Securing your base is your delay tactic, which is keeping you from fully embracing your awesome goal.

Your awesome goal is scarier -- but also a lot more exciting -- than getting a place.

If you REALLY wanted a place, you could get one in an afternoon. But you don't care enough about that "goal" to make it happen fast. Deep down you'd rather be doing something else.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I totally understand this, and I think the same way.

I don't think in terms of wanting more money, though I am open to abundance of all kinds...and all the great things that money can buy. I have lived very well and had much of what I wanted come to me without money being a factor at all.

The only reason I would want money at the moment, is to publish the children's book I have written and illustrated in order to have complete creative control without bossy publishers changing the story to their liking.

I'd be waiting tables for a long time to be able to pay for publishing...which costs around $30,000. I've put it out there to the universe, and it is taking it's sweet time

What would hapen if you didn't leave it to the universe?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

Because "a richer social life", and all the goals that followed in brackets are unlikely to stir up the kind of feelings inside that this article of Steves was trying to generate. It can easily be put off.

I think for Sandra, it would stir up those feelings for her right now.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I think for Sandra, it would stir up those feelings for her right now.

Ok, maybe I should re-read the article too. I think I may be misunderstanding it then...

[elucidate]

Are you referring to my heart or root chakra or something?

Yes, I see what you are saying. Really all I want to do is paint...every day just paint. That is what would make me happy all the time. I'm miserable because I decided to stop painting years ago and concentrate on getting better (clinical depression).

I decided that painting and being an artist was what was keeping me in the melancholy place that seems to be my nature...and I decided I wanted to be happy, so I gave all that up, even though painting is what makes me happy...even if I'm sad whilst doing it!

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

You do need a base, but your base is not a place.

Securing your base is your delay tactic, which is keeping you from fully embracing your awesome goal.

Your awesome goal is scarier -- but also a lot more exciting -- than getting a place.

If you REALLY wanted a place, you could get one in an afternoon. But you don't care enough about that "goal" to make it happen fast. Deep down you'd rather be doing something else.

[James81]

Can someone forward this article to me? I'm not signed up for the newsletter.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

I understand we are all different but how can you set a goal of "being more present"?

For me, saying "being more present" means spending less time in my head and more time out in the "real" world. More time making honest and true connections with "real" people, different people, new people.

Not only living in my head as much would be a different way of formulating that same goal. And yes, it is a means to an end, to an even more awesome goal.

But like I said, it was just an example of how a "crappy" goal like wanting a different place is actually a hide out for an awesome goal.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by James81

Can someone forward this article to me? I'm not signed up for the newsletter.

will do.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

What would hapen if you didn't leave it to the universe?

Well I could always go out an find me a rich man...but that sort of goes against what I stand for...not that there is anything wrong with rich men or money...I'm just not into being like Anna Nicol Smith

I am studying to be an english teacher overseas, and with TESOL the school pays for the teacher's apartment, so I won't have to pay rent or anything. Any money I earn is mine to do with what I like...and in some asian countries I can live like a queen for next to nothing.

That's the plan...round about.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Are you referring to my heart or root chakra or something?

Nope, just guts.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Nope, just guts.

I added to that post, if you'd care to read the rest?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Are you referring to my heart or root chakra or something?

Yes, I see what you are saying. Really all I want to do is paint...every day just paint. That is what would make me happy all the time. I'm miserable because I decided to stop painting years ago and concentrate on getting better (clinical depression).

I decided that painting and being an artist was what was keeping me in the melancholy place that seems to be my nature...and I decided I wanted to be happy, so I gave all that up, even though painting is what makes me happy...even if I'm sad whilst doing it!

Just wanted to offer you a different point of view..

The fact that you were painting while you were clinically depressed made you associate painting with being sad. However, what if those to were just coincidences? That you happened to be sad while painting, and painting itself is not what was making you sad?


Just a question... I know right now you have a part time job... why are you jumping through all these hoops now, instead of dedicating your spare time to painting? Why wanting to learn teaching English if Painting makes you happy? Why live in Asia, if painting makes you happy? Why are you not painting if that is what makes you happy?

[munish]

Originally Posted by SlicK

Can I?

Awesome goal: "I want to make $5000 / month, money which I will use to pay the rent of an awesome apartment I wanted for a long time. I will eat the best food in the best places.

Awesome goal: "I want an honest girl that swears a lot just like me and she wears baggy clothes and listens to hip-hop and..." other specific details.

.

Should i forward you the newsletter ?

Please read it again.

What you have mentioned are crappy goals.

Who doesn't want a nicer place to live or a new car after all?a new relationship can both be gotten in a matter of hours.

An awesome goal is like a custom-made sword designed for your grip. No one else can wield it like you can. -S.P.

[elucidate]

Oh I have been painting more lately...in my spare time. I'm actually considering selling some in a cafe down the road.

I have quite a lot of free time with my job...I only work 2.5 days a week and earn what most people working 5 days from 9-5 earn...so I have a pretty ideal set up going.

I am not painting everyday though, but I have taken steps to make sure I do at least some creative thing every day, to keep my creativity flowing. So far it is starting to get better.

With the teaching thing. It was something that I thought would be an interesting challenge a while ago, and then when I found myself homeless and in a shelter, the women there paid for me to do the course with funding they get to help people looking for a home. SO it was pretty fortuitous...a $2,500 teaching course that could mean I can travel and set myself up in an apartment overseas without paying rent...seemed ideal...except for the fact that I have been distracting myself and wasting time with this douchebag that I recently let go which I know is my responsability for allowing myself to be distracted...but I was in need of cuddles and company and sort of lost track.

I'm back on track now, and finding balance between study and work and painting and writing...plus this new writing articles thing...and spending time with friends etc.

I guess I sort of feel like I need to finish this course so that what I went through when I was homeless wasn't for nothing...that I got something out of it, besides the lessons.

I have had this pressure to travel put on my by my father, which I have been successful at not letting it get to me at times, and not so successful at other times. I have a mother who works for qantas which allows me awesome travel discounts to fly anywhere I want, and I'm not making the most of them.
I spent alot of time healing and getting myself back on track,which my parents had no clue about and have only recently acknowledged. They were bugging me to get a job when I was busy trying not to kill myself

So I can see, now that I'm writing it, that it sounds like I'm putting all my eggs in one basket and trying to do everything frantically at once.

I just need to chill out and paint

Originally Posted by ssandra

Just wanted to offer you a different point of view..

The fact that you were painting while you were clinically depressed made you associate painting with being sad. However, what if those to were just coincidences? That you happened to be sad while painting, and painting itself is not what was making you sad?


Just a question... I know right now you have a part time job... why are you jumping through all these hoops now, instead of dedicating your spare time to painting? Why wanting to learn teaching English if Painting makes you happy? Why live in Asia, if painting makes you happy? Why are you not painting if that is what makes you happy?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I just need to chill out and paint

couldn't agree more

Seems like traveling is your fathers goal.

Seems like teaching English is some self imposed pressure because of the course you took.

Seems like all you want to do is just PAINT!

And the universe has given you everything you need to just do that... a regular job to support you until you make enough money to live of painting... a job with enough freedom so you have plenty of time to paint...

A forum with wonderful business people that can give you advice on how to sell your paintings (sent a PM to Brendanzz, he's pretty successful in selling his paintings).

When you do what your passion is (painting) everything else just falls into place. And it seems that in your situation, everything already is in it's place and the universe is just waiting for you to wake up, and see how perfect your life actually is right now....

[elucidate]

To answer your first question sandra, it does seem now looking at it, that I have had this irrational fear about painting bringing on the depression again...when you're right, it doesn't have to mean that it will cause me to spiral again. It was over 10 years ago now, and the times when I have painted have made me feel great lately, not sad.

Originally Posted by ssandra

Just wanted to offer you a different point of view..

The fact that you were painting while you were clinically depressed made you associate painting with being sad. However, what if those to were just coincidences? That you happened to be sad while painting, and painting itself is not what was making you sad?


Just a question... I know right now you have a part time job... why are you jumping through all these hoops now, instead of dedicating your spare time to painting? Why wanting to learn teaching English if Painting makes you happy? Why live in Asia, if painting makes you happy? Why are you not painting if that is what makes you happy?

[munish]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

You do need a base, but your base is not a place.

Your base is your consciousness .

Thanks Steve for this direction once again.

[elucidate]

YES,

I've been slowly recognizing this I think, though it doesn't seem quite real.

Travelling is something I want to do...but I guess I never knew where I wanted to go, at least not having a totally passionate NEED to go anywhere in particular. Melbourne has everything I need as far as support for being an artist. It's quite a unique city in that respect.

I like the idea of having a few different things to fall back on if I do travel...not just settling for being a waitress. I've always loved languages, so teaching english did feel like it was something that would suit me at the time...though I'm not so passionate about it now.

I'm pretty sure I could teach english freelance without having to finish the course, though the TESOL name would allow me to find work easily and an apartment when I do travel...I just don't enjoy feeling like I HAVE to go because my father is always pushing me to. That would ruin the experience for me if I went for that reason.

I want to WANT to travel for me, and I will when I'm ready. I want to make the most of the travel discounts while I have them...as it's a great opportunity.

And as far as the housing situation goes, I've been in a great set up for a while, it's just that I feel like the time has come to move out, like when you've been in a place for long enough and the feeling for it just is gone one day...that's how it is for me now.
I have been looking for a new place...as that is what my feeling has been...but it takes time to find the right place. I have an idea of what I want.

Yes, I do have an abundance of resources at my fingertips for how to proceed with the art sales. It's taken me a long time to embrace the internet, as I was never much of a computer person and don't really want to always be on a computer. I have a good friend here who sells her art and has lived here for a lot longer than me, so she knows the ropes pretty well...I can ask her to help me as well.

Originally Posted by ssandra

couldn't agree more

Seems like traveling is your fathers goal.

Seems like teaching English is some self imposed pressure because of the course you took.

Seems like all you want to do is just PAINT!

And the universe has given you everything you need to just do that... a regular job to support you until you make enough money to live of painting... a job with enough freedom so you have plenty of time to paint...

A forum with wonderful business people that can give you advice on how to sell your paintings (sent a PM to Brendanzz, he's pretty successful in selling his paintings).

When you do what your passion is (painting) everything else just falls into place. And it seems that in your situation, everything already is in it's place and the universe is just waiting for you to wake up, and see how perfect your life actually is right now....

[munish]

Originally Posted by elucidate

YES, I want to make the most of the travel discounts while I have them...as it's a great opportunity.

We also get ID 90' s to travel , as my sis. is working for an airlines .

But it does not mean that instead of focusing on our passions we start traveling just because we are getting the discounts.

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by danas

I think he means goals which are measurable

* go raw vegan and improve my health
* make a film about x
* meet like minded people and make a new friend

These are goals which I set myself and achieved with much enthusiasm.
These are goals which the day after setting them I was so eager to make steps to make them happen

"*make a film about x" XD

[SlicK]

They just have to be clear/definite. Money, girlfriends, freedom are too vague to accomplish. Imagine I would tell you: go make a boyfriend! And you come with a boyfriend and I say: "This guy? He sucks!". And you ask why and I give you my reasons. This is what happens between you and yourself. The bigger you gives you a goal that is too vague. You do something and then the bigger you is dissatisfied because it is not what it wanted.

[aabbcc]

a new relationship can be gotten in a matter of hours.

Crikey! I've been trying for YEARS to manifest a relationship. I must be doing something wrong, obviously, but I have no idea what.

[James81]

Originally Posted by aabbcc

Crikey! I've been trying for YEARS to manifest a relationship. I must be doing something wrong, obviously, but I have no idea what.

You know, if you were to just start walking up to random people on the street and asking, "Wanna go out?" Within hours you would probably have a rather impressive collection of phone numbers and options to choose from.

Ask enough people, risk enough "rejection," and you'll find the success you're looking for.

(I'm posting this one for myself...for other reasons than just relationships.)

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I decided that painting and being an artist was what was keeping me in the melancholy place that seems to be my nature...and I decided I wanted to be happy, so I gave all that up, even though painting is what makes me happy...even if I'm sad whilst doing it!

You sound just like Picasso. He was happiest when painting and not nearly so happy at other times.

That's a recipe for being prolific.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

You sound just like Picasso. He was happiest when painting and not nearly so happy at other times.

That's a recipe for being prolific.

Well...he isn't one of my faves, but I will take that as a compliment

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by munish

We also get ID 90' s to travel , as my sis. is working for an airlines .

But it does not mean that instead of focusing on our passions we start traveling just because we are getting the discounts.

Yes, I know. I've just been letting my parents pressure get to me. Really , I can go anytime I want...which is a luxury others don't have, so I feel a bit like I'm taking it for granted when others would do anything to be in my position.

[Johnny Skosnik]

How goals should be phrased is an interesting topic. In one of Steve's earlier articles he mentioned they should be specific, have a firm future due date and easily answer the question "have I reached this goal?" More recently (May 2006) he posted:

...The Power of Now taught me that there is no line segment. The point is all there is. The past and the future are illusions. They only exist to the degree we focus our attention on them right now. We create the past and the future by imagining them in the present. But we don’t even exist outside the Now...I understood that if I am to experience anything in life, I must create it in this moment. It must exist in some form right now, or it doesn’t exist at all.

My take: the former type of goal is "I earn X dollars / month by selling my artwork by December of this year." The latter: "I am an artist who recognizes and is inspired by the natural beauty all around me and makes others aware of it through my art."

I like the second approach. The first turns the goal into an intimidating uber-task that must be done before this date or it's total fail. The second, in contrast, is more a mindset, a state of being. Now how to ensure that this mindset is actively maintained and doesn't become a fantasy, a delusion? That's where you have tasks that maintain this mindset goal: "I will meditate for ten minutes each day." "I will create ten sketches per week." "I will find a new place outdoors to paint each month." "I will attend at least one art class per semester at my local community college." Note there are no hard deadlines, but rather tasks that should be done every day / week / month / semester. If a task slips it's not a disaster but a gentle reminder to get back on track, there's always next time. Conversely when the tasks are done for now you can honestly claim your reality is congruent with your mindset goal and feel accomplished.