Awesome goals vs. "crappy goals"

[Angela]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Judging one thing as awesome and another as crappy is only Steve's OPPINION...it is for the person themselves to decide what is awesome or crappy as a goal...not him!

You don't think Steve should declare opinions about other people's goals, or that others shouldn't give any consideration to his opinion? Wouldn't that be like someone saying, "Judging what someone says in the forums as being helpful or not is only Elucidate's OPINION.... it is for the poster themselves to decide what is helpful or abusive, not her!"

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Well I was being subtle in my attempts to get steve himself to describe what HIS idea of an "awesome goal" is, as he didn't give examples...only what he considers crappy goals to be.

I was curious as to what his examples would be, but my point was as I mentioned.

What does it matter what Steve's goals are... he has given a very clear warning to everyone about the effects of crappy goals and has identified what a crappy goal is and what a crappy goal isn't! Of course those goals will vary from individual to individual- I don't think he intended we all have universal ambitions...

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Angela

You don't think Steve should declare opinions about other people's goals, or that others shouldn't give any consideration to his opinion? Wouldn't that be like someone saying, "Judging what someone says in the forums as being helpful or not is only Elucidate's OPINION.... it is for the poster themselves to decide what is helpful or abusive, not her!"

I think he is free to declare his oppinions about what he considers other peoples goals to be, I just don't think it is ok to make them set in stone as what a crappy goal actually is, which is how it seemed to me in his newsletter, that's all.

My point is it is up to each person to decide what a crappy goal and what an awesome goal is. People can read his newsletter and agree with his oppinion of what a crappy goal is of course, and then they are also free to say "well, that doesn't seem like a crappy goal to me...that seems like an awesome goal to me"

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

What does it matter what Steve's goals are... he has given a very clear warning to everyone about the effects of crappy goals and has identified what a crappy goal is and what a crappy goal isn't! Of course those goals will vary from individual to individual- I don't think he intended we all have universal ambitions...

I don't think you read my OP correctly...or at least you didn't understand what I was trying to say!

It doesn't matter what Steves goals are.

I'm saying that his oppinion of what is crappy and what is awesome is from his perspective only and it is up to each person to decide for themselves if setting a goal to get a new home is crappy or awesome...that's all.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I don't think you read my OP correctly...or at least you didn't understand what I was trying to say!

It doesn't matter what Steves goals are.

I'm saying that his oppinion of what is crappy and what is awesome is from his perspective only and it is up to each person to decide for themselves if setting a goal to get a new home is crappy or awesome...that's all.

I see- but I think you have to look at the meaning behind it- his desire that we focus on things that really inspire us. I think the examples he gave were good ones but maybe those particular examples in extreme circumstances may be awesome goals to some people. Maybe you're reading too much into it, either way it makes sense to stop and evaluate our goals with this in mind.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I think he is free to declare his oppinions about what he considers other peoples goals to be, I just don't think it is ok to make them set in stone as what a crappy goal actually is, which is how it seemed to me in his newsletter, that's all.

My point is it is up to each person to decide what a crappy goal and what an awesome goal is. People can read his newsletter and agree with his oppinion of what a crappy goal is of course, and then they are also free to say "well, that doesn't seem like a crappy goal to me...that seems like an awesome goal to me"

Of course they are free to agree or disagree. So then how is it not ok for Steve to fully express his evaluations about others (with which people are free to agree or disagree) in his own newsletter, but ok for you to fully express your evaluations (with which people are free to agree or disagree) on a public forum?

What is the not ok-ness about it?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Angela

Of course they are free to agree or disagree. So then how is it not ok for Steve to fully express his evaluations about others (with which people are free to agree or disagree) in his own newsletter, but ok for you to fully express your evaluations (with which people are free to agree or disagree) on a public forum?

What is the not ok-ness about it?

As I said...it didn't seem like he was making it free for all to decide.

It seemed like he was telling everyone what a crappy goal is by giving examples, and making it sound like if they made goals like this then they aren't awesome, as he sees it... which is what I objected to.

I'm not saying everyone has to agree with me either! You're putting words into my mouth really.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

I see- but I think you have to look at the meaning behind it- his desire that we focus on things that really inspire us. I think the examples he gave were good ones but maybe those particular examples in extreme circumstances may be awesome goals to some people. Maybe you're reading too much into it, either way it makes sense to stop and evaluate our goals with this in mind.

I think I did get what he meant behind it...as I mentioned in at least one post. Have you read them all?

[James81]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Well I was being subtle

Sneaky sneaky.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Curtis2011

I like the SMART idea:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-bound

SMART isn't important.

As I mentioned in the newsletter, you'll know an awesome goal by how it affects you. How it's worded (if you even verbalize it at all) isn't important.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by James81

Sneaky sneaky.

Yes, I can be that

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Yes...I am aware of what I consider to be my awesome goals Brendannz.

I think you'll find that I wrote in my original post asking for STEVE'S definition of what an "awesome" goal is...out of pure curiosity.

I thought I wrote it pretty clearly.

Maybe Munish is right though. As I do not really venture into Steve's threads very often it's possible I missed reading about his definition of what awesome goals are, the last 600 times.

My point is that what is awesome for one person may not be so for another, and what is crappy for one person may be what is awesome for someone else.

For someone with an acquired brain injury, for example, the goal of tying his/her shoelaces one day independant of any help, may be what keeps them going and becomes an obsession...whereas, to most of us that would sound like a crappy goal.

Never mind though.

Did you read the whole article? You're asking questions that IMO were already answered within it. Perhaps re-read it more slowly.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

SMART isn't important.

As I mentioned in the newsletter, you'll know an awesome goal by how it affects you. How it's worded (if you even verbalize it at all) isn't important.

Thanks Steve. I did think about this about an hour after I posted the first post.

I hope you can see that the point I was trying to make is that what is a crappy goal for one person may be an awesome goal for someone in different circumstances...that's all.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by SlicK

Can I?
There are many ways you can set your mind on a great goal. You can set a crappy goal and keep asking yourself WHY. Why do you want that? Why do you want the other thing? What will it do for you? What kind of other opportunities will it attract. Or you can start with a boring goal and keep building around it in your imagination. Keep adding details. Or it can just hit you one day. It is really not important how you do it. It is important to know yourself and "listen" to yourself.

Crap goal: "I want to make $5000 / month"
Awesome goal: "I want to make $5000 / month, money which I will use to pay the rent of an awesome apartment I wanted for a long time. I will eat the best food in the best places. Every weekend I will visit some new place that inspires me." And the list can go on. And of course, with specific details.
Crap goal: "I will get an awesome girlfriend!"
Awesome goal: "I want an honest girl that swears a lot just like me and she wears baggy clothes and listens to hip-hop and..." other specific details.

You know you have an awesome goal when it makes you super happy and you get . When it just tickles you inside thinking about it then you have an awesome goal. Then comes the tricky part... You have to trust yourself that you CAN do it. If you let doubt dominate you, you'll just feel you're not worthy and you will abandon it.

IMO those awesome goals are still crappy goals for most people. They're boring and socially conditioned. People think they want them because they've been taught to.

Being more specific isn't enough. Sometimes more detail just makes a goal sound tedious. Specificity doesn't necessarily generate excitement and keep you up at night. It can help sometimes, but it's not the most important factor.

[James81]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Thanks Steve. I did think about this about an hour after I posted the first post.

I hope you can see that the point I was trying to make is that what is a crappy goal for one person may be an awesome goal for someone in different circumstances...that's all.

What would happen if he doesn't see your point? (curious)

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by supertom

can you give us a version of your awesome goal?

unless its private, i know i like to keep my goals private.

It's so private, even I don't know them yet


It is something that I am working on right now, since my earlier goal (become happy, well... it was inspirational for me) has been fulfilled.

I'm thinking it has something to do with teaching, helping others like Angela is doing... it is something that I think is AMAZING and might be something I'd like to work towards... but, although it is what makes me get a grin on my face and what would make me happy, I'm not entirely sure I'm cut out for that yet.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Did you read the whole article? You're asking questions that IMO were already answered within it. Perhaps re-read it more slowly.

I did read the whole article. I think that I remembered what you said about the awesome goal being what makes you feel excited and alive after I'd already started the thread...so it was already in motion by the time it hit me.

Again, I agree that it is important to go after what excites you, I just don't think that one persons idea of what is a crappy goal may necessarily be someone elses idea of what is crappy.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by James81

What would happen if he doesn't see your point? (curious)

I could live with it.

I'd have to just let it go I suppose.

[escapeplan]

I've just been thinking the goals that I've had in life and what I would call "awesome" ones. Anything awesome involves obtaining power in some form or another (as far as I'm concerned). I suppose this is because of the way I define success, and that I know the things like relationships will just fall into place anyway. It's goals that achieve power that I find exciting.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Thanks Steve. I did think about this about an hour after I posted the first post.

I hope you can see that the point I was trying to make is that what is a crappy goal for one person may be an awesome goal for someone in different circumstances...that's all.

That's what I got from the article actually...

Just with a warning that the first time you write down your goals they USUALLY are not YOUR goals, but socially approved goals. Which, MOST OF THE TIME, are things like more money, relationship, house etc. Because that is what most of us are supposed to want.

However, whatever your specific awesome goal is, you will know by the way it affects you. How it makes you feel inside. How you feel you would potentially move mountains to get there. How it makes you feel alive.

That's my interpretation of the newsletter anyway.

[James81]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

It's goals that achieve power that I find exciting.

What do you mean by power?

[elucidate]

Ok. I understand that alot better than when I first read the newsletter. I was at work though, so maybe it was just a case of not reading it slowly enough to really absorb it?

It made me think of different peoples circumstances that could make them feel excited to pursue the "crappy" goals that steve mentioned...which made me question the whole judgement of what crappy is in this context.

Originally Posted by ssandra

That's what I got from the article actually...

Just with a warning that the first time you write down your goals they USUALLY are not YOUR goals, but socially approved goals. Which, MOST OF THE TIME, are things like more money, relationship, house etc. Because that is what most of us are supposed to want.

However, whatever your specific awesome goal is, you will know by the way it affects you. How it makes you feel inside. How you feel you would potentially move mountains to get there. How it makes you feel alive.

That's my interpretation of the newsletter anyway.

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by James81

What do you mean by power?

Loose definition I suppose- but the idea of a "business" was never enough- it had to be something that would rise to the highest level- earning more money or being "free" were concepts that never actually drove me to change. Only the thought of building something massive was good enough.

Not just that but my dabbling attempts in LOA/IM arose from a desire to have power. I don't want power over people- I see that as a hassle, but the goals that excite give me power over myself and a desire to create/ build etc. Hard to describe but "power" seems like the right word.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I hope you can see that the point I was trying to make is that what is a crappy goal for one person may be an awesome goal for someone in different circumstances...that's all.

I figured that was obvious.

I think others are challenging you on your statements here because they sense your resistance is coming from somewhere else and isn't really about the article. I certainly got that impression since you seemed to be projecting things into the article that weren't there and missing things that were. For example, you asked for an example of an awesome goal for me, which was pretty plainly given in the article.

So for whatever reason, the issue of crappy vs. awesome goals does seem to be a very big deal to you. Your posts suggest you're struggling to come to terms with the fact that your own goals are crappier than you'd like them to be. I figure that's why you're projecting an air of judgment coming from me, which I didn't put into the article. The article was intended to challenge you to make sure your goals are AWESOME for YOU.

You're giving us every indication that your current goals are not awesome, not by my standards but by your own. That's why people are calling you on things you've said that don't add up. This is a pattern I've seen hundreds of times before. It's a good thing because it means you're close to a breakthrough. I know it can feel uncomfortable at first, and it may feel like you're being judged, but you're reaching the point where you're going to raise your standards for yourself soon.

If you have awesome goals, you won't feel judged by me. It's when you don't fully believe your goals are awesome that you'll imagine there's judgment coming from me.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by elucidate

As I said...it didn't seem like he was making it free for all to decide.

How does a person writing his opinion make it not free for others to decide?

I'm not saying everyone has to agree with me either! You're putting words into my mouth really.

Where did I say that you said that everyone has to agree with you? I asked you what's the difference in ok-ness between Steve declaring his evaluation about others and you declaring yours? Why is yours ok and his is not -- how does his not make it free for all to decide but yours does?

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Ok. I understand that alot better than when I first read the newsletter. I was at work though, so maybe it was just a case of not reading it slowly enough to really absorb it?

It made me think of different peoples circumstances that could make them feel excited to pursue the "crappy" goals that steve mentioned...which made me question the whole judgement of what crappy is in this context.

I get that, it is easy to get that potentially from the news letter.

However, I think he used those specific examples because they are usually the things that people think they want, because the neighbors want that

I do think that for most people instead of money, a more awesome goal is what they want to do with that money. I know it is for me...

Same with a house.. I'd love a bigger house, but why? Because I could have more friends over, more family staying over etc. So what do I really want? A richer social life. And even that I could break down into more awesomeness, if I wanted to (more connections, feeling connected, being more present etc.)

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I get that, it is easy to get that potentially from the news letter.

However, I think he used those specific examples because they are usually the things that people think they want, because the neighbors want that

I do think that for most people instead of money, a more awesome goal is what they want to do with that money. I know it is for me...

Same with a house.. I'd love a bigger house, but why? Because I could have more friends over, more family staying over etc. So what do I really want? A richer social life. And even that I could break down into more awesomeness, if I wanted to (more connections, feeling connected, being more present etc.)

In your last paragraph I think those goals are moving AWAY from awesomeness

[James81]

Originally Posted by escapeplan

In your last paragraph I think those goals are moving AWAY from awesomeness

What is it about those goals that make you think that?

[escapeplan]

Originally Posted by James81

What is it about those goals that make you think that?

Because "a richer social life", and all the goals that followed in brackets are unlikely to stir up the kind of feelings inside that this article of Steves was trying to generate. It can easily be put off.

[elucidate]

That's highly possible.

I think I did feel a little like my own goals were being called crappy, and perhaps that was my own judgment of them?

I want a new place to live that is my own apartment...as I've been unwilling to work 40 hours a week to be able to afford to live on my own since I was 20...that's what I wanted . To have my own place as a base, so I could travel.

As I'm very sensitive, I didn't think that I could handle, and didn't want to work 5 days a week from 9-5, as I'm sure you understand. So I have had to compromise and live with so many different people over the years, some stable, others not so stable...all to be able to get to a point where I could manage to get my own place...which is only now beginning to seem like it's possible to me.

So yeah, it did seem a bit harsh to me that you would call it a crappy boring thing...though maybe it is? I don't feel particularly excited about having my own place anymore. I used to when I was younger, and now I'm just sort of accepting that I have to live with people the rest of my life or until I can get some sort of business going to make enough.

I want to travel all over the world, and that is slowly becoming a reality for me...but I feel like I do need a base to start from. Maybe not a house as such, but somewhere I can come back to when I'm done wandering. Not forever, just in between. I feel like I want to experience this.

I don't want a mortgage, and I've been working on myself for years to train my mind and whatnot...ala LOA to remain open to the universe helping me find a place just for me...as I'm not the sort of person who likes sharehousing...but have had to settle for it due to finances.

I did write down before though an old creative intention of mine, which was to write a script for a play, which made me feel energized, though I have no idea what it will be about. Writing and scriptwriting and painting is pretty much where my passions lie.

I suppose I have been judging my goals.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I figured that was obvious.

I think others are challenging you on your statements here because they sense your resistance is coming from somewhere else and isn't really about the article. I certainly got that impression since you seemed to be projecting things into the article that weren't there and missing things that were. For example, you asked for an example of an awesome goal for me, which was pretty plainly given in the article.

So for whatever reason, the issue of crappy vs. awesome goals does seem to be a very big deal to you. Your posts suggest you're struggling to come to terms with the fact that your own goals are crappier than you'd like them to be. I figure that's why you're projecting an air of judgment coming from me, which I didn't put into the article. The article was intended to challenge you to make sure your goals are AWESOME for YOU.

You're giving us every indication that your current goals are not awesome, not by my standards but by your own. That's why people are calling you on things you've said that don't add up. This is a pattern I've seen hundreds of times before. It's a good thing because it means you're close to a breakthrough. I know it can feel uncomfortable at first, and it may feel like you're being judged, but you're reaching the point where you're going to raise your standards for yourself soon.

If you have awesome goals, you won't feel judged by me. It's when you don't fully believe your goals are awesome that you'll imagine there's judgment coming from me.