moderation & banning

[James81]

Originally Posted by secrets0stolen

Yeah, the way the police have treated me has always been really weird. I've begun to wonder if I look like someone on a special list or something! Like when my mom gets pulled over for a traffic violation, they don't focus on her, but on me. "Who's that girl? How are you related? How old is she?"

WTF?

They think you are attractive.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Angela has stated before that the ignore list is for people who are ignoring aspects of themselves...but when it comes to peace of mind, there's nothing quite like the peace of not having to look at certain peoples posts.

I do hope I'm not on your ignore list...but then again, I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end!

Nope, not on my ignore list! My theory is there's only so much I want to work with at a time. If I left all the other stuff in there, I'd probably stop reading the forums all together.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Dharma

Nope, not on my ignore list! My theory is there's only so much I want to work with at a time. If I left all the other stuff in there, I'd probably stop reading the forums all together.

Yay!

I see what you mean though. If you know what you are interested in talking about specifically, and you know the rythmn or topics that certain people prefer to discuss, and that isn't aligned with your focus, then it can only be distracting to your focus and a waste of time reading them.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by secrets0stolen

Yeah, the way the police have treated me has always been really weird. I've begun to wonder if I look like someone on a special list or something! Like when my mom gets pulled over for a traffic violation, they don't focus on her, but on me. "Who's that girl? How are you related? How old is she?"

WTF?

That's wierd. It sounds like they are trying to pick you up or something...in front of your MOTHER!

Pretty girls get special treatment from cops and others in society...get used to it!

[darksage2]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, one thing I've noticed is that playing a game is a lot more fun when you're consciously aware of what game you're playing.

This is it, the games. I have said it, the games lead to disrespect when someone is not in on "the game" as you like to call it. It becomes troublesome for the one not in and leads to much more disrespect, and someone is always on the sideline in every game I have witnessed, I think it takes a side-liner to truly realize this. This is the only problem, games, the mean ones I am speaking of.

I am treated fine by everyone, I treat everyone fairly, today that is.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by darksage2

This is it, the games. I have said it, the games lead to disrespect when someone is not in on "the game" as you like to call it. It becomes troublesome for the one not in and leads to much more disrespect, and someone is always on the sideline in every game I have witnessed, I think it takes a side-liner to truly realize this. This is the only problem, games, the mean ones I am speaking of.

I am treated fine by everyone, I treat everyone fairly, today that is.

Disrespect is only disturbing to some. It's not a bad thing for me. I can't be hurt by disrespect all that much because I grew up with a different conditioning pattern. My programming treats being ignored as a threat to something but disrespect rarely even registers for me.

[darksage2]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Disrespect is only disturbing to some. It's not a bad thing for me. I can't be hurt by disrespect all that much because I grew up with a different conditioning pattern. My programming treats being ignored as a threat to something but disrespect rarely even registers for me.

If you say disrespect is not bad, then the point of this thread is demolished! This thread doesnt even exist then. Correct? Who made this thread.

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by darksage2

If you say disrespect is not bad, then the point of this thread is demolished! This thread doesnt even exist then. Correct? Who made this thread.

I did with the help of a kind moderator who untangled it for me. The thread exists as part of my experience at this moment. So it does exist. What is the point of this thread? For me it was to understand the rules specifically because I did not think they were fair. I felt entitled to have a forum that lives according to my rules of what is fair. After reading Steve's article I saw how absurd this was. I'm not entitled to anything. Whoever taught me that I was owed something in the first place? I'm not sure. Freedom from a sense of entitlement, a sense of being owed something by people, is one of the greatest new freedoms I've been thoroughly enjoying since this thread. NO ONE OWES ME ANYTHING! THIS IS WONDERFUL!!! I'm FINALLY free from this nagging sense that other people don't realize how much they owe me. Now it's not a nagging sense anymore. IT'S REALITY

I lost my fight. And now I am free to not fight it anymore.

[ellie]

I'm usually against censorship, but I have to say, I have been part of forums, where users just start threads to get attention and drama, and it was horrible...because there was no banning allowed unless the "said person" did something really horrible, like stalk a user. Even abbusive emails were not enough for "said user" to get banned.

I have to say I think the moderation on this forum is wonderful, I never see ridiculous drama...I mean I know we have drama, but more "on topic dramas". So I don't see topics created to gain attention and stir-up users.

I was really impressed when a mod, saw how a user spoke to me in a thread, they were right on it. The moderators communication was impeccable and explained, like others have said, "the said conversation was removed from forum posts, so as to not cause anymore drama". I thought it was dealt with really well.

[themaster]

I'll say what I always say.. in a different way..

I don't believe in repression.. and I don't think it works.. the "war on a drugs" is a great mocking example of how "what you put your attention on" doesn't go away.. just gets stronger.. in that way I see banning as the idea of "resistance" not a deterrent.. I think in this way one day these forums can become even more "open" I look forward to that experiment

Maybe, steve wouldn't get so DDOS'ed often if he wasn't resisting that's just my guess.. but what do I know?

Please, remember we all have the ability to create.. and what you ask for is granted every time

[Savage]

Originally Posted by themaster

I'll say what I always say.. in a different way..

I don't believe in repression.. and I don't think it works.. the "war on a drugs" is a great mocking example of how "what you put your attention on" doesn't go away.. just gets stronger.. in that way I see banning as the idea of "resistance" not a deterrent.. I think in this way one day these forums can become even more "open" I look forward to that experiment

Maybe, steve wouldn't get so DDOS'ed often if he wasn't resisting that's just my guess.. but what do I know?

Please, remember we all have the ability to create.. and what you ask for is granted every time

Actually we can simulate this just for you. It's easy.

Under such conditions I would shut the forums down -- I wouldn't choose to host them at all. So that means your account would effectively go offline, and you wouldn't be able to read any new posts or connect with the community members via this website.

Up for a 30-day trial?

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Actually we can simulate this just for you. It's easy.

Under such conditions I would shut the forums down -- I wouldn't choose to host them at all. So that means your account would effectively go offline, and you wouldn't be able to read any new posts or connect with the community members via this website.

Up for a 30-day trial?

I'm game, if you are..

I'm sure others aren't.. but I don't mind experiments.. don't mind changing the dynamic, rules, change..

I also feel you wouldn't do this.. sounds kind of counter-productive.. Cause I think about the effect on angela

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by themaster

I'll say what I always say.. in a different way..

I don't believe in repression.. and I don't think it works.. the "war on a drugs" is a great mocking example of how "what you put your attention on" doesn't go away.. just gets stronger.. in that way I see banning as the idea of "resistance" not a deterrent.. I think in this way one day these forums can become even more "open" I look forward to that experiment

Maybe, steve wouldn't get so DDOS'ed often if he wasn't resisting that's just my guess.. but what do I know?

Please, remember we all have the ability to create.. and what you ask for is granted every time

I'll risk a 2000 word response with 29 smileys and ask this anyway , to what extent do you take this "not believing in repression" themaster?

Do you ever lock your doors when you go to bed at night? Or are you repressing your long-handed neighbors from entering your house and helping themselves to your earthly belongings?

Would you repress me from using your charge card to order stuff from various places? Because you know......I'm feeling really repressed right now. I need you to give me all your bank details so I can order this red laptop.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by themaster august 10th

I have however gone out of my way "as promised" to not mention you (and had to re-write several of my writings to keep that promise.. ) I'm not sure that was the wisest decision on my part.. but I will keep it as of now..

Originally Posted by themaster august 14th

I agree almost a 100% with what angela said as well.. go figure

Originally Posted by themaster august 19th

Yah, I've heard this from angela too..

Originally Posted by themaster august 22nd

Cause I think about the effect on angela

So much for the integrity of your word.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

I'll risk a 2000 word response with 29 smileys and ask this anyway

lol

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Do you ever lock your doors when you go to bed at night?

No.. when I'm with my family I feel safe.. why that is?? go figure.. my sister never locks the door when I'm here either but once in a while..

I have found myself locking my car lately.. when I'm sleeping in it.. or when I travel with my laptop and/or desktop and tons of other toys ipods, etc.

It's a weird behavior for me.. cause prior to 2006 when I lived with my family full time (different then now) we never locked our doors..

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Or are you repressing your long-handed neighbors from entering your house and helping themselves to your earthly belongings?

Yah, never been robbed before.. Sure, stuff has been stolen etc. but not the like that.. don't really think that's a experience I need.. but I validate I could create it

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Would you repress me from using your charge card to order stuff from various places?

Why would I repress you??

I just wouldn't put myself in a situation where you could get my "charge card" I validate I could create that.. but do I need that hassle?? not really.. though quite a few times.. people have somehow gotten my "credit card" # and charged stuff at walmart.. and every time my bank has been nice enough to give the money back.. (eventually )

I'm pretty sure if you did the same it would qualify

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Because you know......I'm feeling really repressed right now. I need you to give me all your bank details so I can order this red laptop.

What can we do to cheer you up??

Originally Posted by Angela

So much for the integrity of your word.

Yes, your quite right.. it's hard for me to treat you as "special" angela..

As you can see I'm not very good at it.. so consider now that I no longer will treat you with "special care" and will just behave to you like I do do to everyone else.. remember, I'm not unreproach to mention quite a few regulars in my forum discourse..

If this bothers you.. feel free to use that "ignore" button I hear about but have never tried.. it's interesting I am a member of at least 20+ forums.. maybe active on 3-5 really but I have never censored a member that I can think off.. except maybe.. maybe on imdb.. not sure

[Angela]

I'm not censoring you, Dave.

You made the promise; your not keeping your word because it's too hard for you to do so is your business, as is your snipy gossiping. That doesn't mean I can't notice and comment on the lack of integrity in your word. You wouldn't want to censor me, now would you? That would be a statement of limitation.

[AaronB]

I love censorship! I didn't have anything important to say anyway :P I'm here mostly for fun. I enjoy me. I enjoy you. But if I had duck tape on my mouth I'd still be enjoying myself. You would be the one missing out. But as long as I get to hear you I still get to enjoy you.

No one really needs to keep their word unless ... drum roll please ... they are at LANDMARK FORUM!!! YAAAYYYYYY. Otherwise what's the value of integrity? No one owes me anything. I don't care if anyone keeps their word to me. I won't like them one bit more or less if they do or don't. It doesn't facilitate or unfacilitate any of my plans, because I really don't have any. Where the hell am I supposed to be trying to get to? Here's fine. Nothing needs to change about here. So might as well just enjoy it

[Angela]

Originally Posted by AaronB

No one really needs to keep their word unless ...

...they are interested in being known as someone who keeps their word.

That's certainly not necessary; it does tend to have somewhat predictable consequences. For instance, if you agree to follow the rules of this forum, and you don't keep your word, you will probably get moderated or banned.

If you make promises to other people and you don't keep your word, a likely consequence is that people will tend to see you as a liar or a flake -- that is, someone who has little or no influence, and someone with whom others are far less likely to share resources. There's nothing wrong with that, of course; it's just an excellent way to be ineffective in getting the results you want -- unless the results you want are to limit your influence and your available resources.

Sometimes, too, there's secondary gain -- like some of the people who break their word, such as to follow the rules of the forum, and *get* certain wins for which they don't currently have access to more effective or win/win inner resources to achieve. Like the person who attacks another for the purpose of proving that a gremliny belief isn't true or to avoid people finding out that it is true (knocking others in an attempt to feel better themselves); or the person who is trying to push bad-feeling emotions out of themselves by provoking reactions in others (a highly ineffective, but unconscious, strategy).

[AaronB]

Originally Posted by Angela

...they are interested in being known as someone who keeps their word.

Which seems of little consequence to me.

For the most part I do keep my word, because when I say something, I really mean what I say. If I say something that doesn't mean anything to me it makes me feel weird, I know there is some unconscious programming at play. You're exceptional at spotting it when I am up to some weird game. Then I question what I'm trying to accomplish in my speech. If I'm not saying something that feels true to me, then as you said I'm trying to win at some other game to make myself feel better but in the end I only keep myself deluded in my effort to delude you.

The purpose of my word for me is for me to get to know myself. I listen to what you say because it helps me to know you better. The more I understand others the better my self understanding will be (and vice versa), it seems there isn't a single quality someone else has that I don't at least have a smidge of myself.

I get along really well with my inner Angela though. I hear your voice and a sense of joyfulness just shows up every time before I even read what you said. Whatever it is you are doing, I really like it I also like that I don't have to be very careful with you. No concern here about hurting Angela's feelings anytime soon.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Angela

You made the promise; your not keeping your word because it's too hard for you to do so is your business

It's not too hard for me to do.. it's me promising to be different for you..

That's really hard because technically that's a "disconnection" and dissociation from self.. which is why the last time we talked about it.. I made a note I didn't guarantee my promise.. I was automatically reminding myself.. I refuse the right to do "whatever I want to do"

Do you ever notice your posts to me seem critical, derogatory and negative?

I haven't hit you up on it much.. but here I'll point it out..

I refuse to not be "who I am" just for you angela.. same goes for rei, who I worked this out with.. I refuse to conform into any lines or known paradigms..

I'm shifty and ruthless and cute and buoyant and joyful and full of well being... (somewhere )

I've also reminded you or placed in to text somewhere on this forum.. that you and I are going to continue to have disagreements/squabbles.. because you don't want to sit down and work this out/hammer it out..

Did you ever ask, rei?? How we resolved our differences? See even I don't know.. I just noted that rei and I stopped having interactions.. I don't think that's deliberate on her part.. I think we just worked it out.. or so I assume

Originally Posted by Angela

as is your snipy gossiping.

That's the problem.. if I refer to you it's not in your opinion out of "respect" it's out of lack and complaining and as you say.. criticizing..

That's the same problem I had with rei.. that may be the same problem I'm having with joelr for all I know

Well, guess what I'm not going to stop.. so just filter me if you must..

I didn't even consciously remember what I promised when I was talking to steve about you.. I just made a reference to you as the most known forum member and highest post count I know off

You see my mind has already shifted too.. "not treating you unequal" "not going out of my way to not step on your toes" "caution and care with this one"

Me being myself means.. I don't play cautious or care with anyone.. and yet I do.. I have fear in myself and I admit it.. I have fear of repercussions like anyone.. but I am working my ass off! to slowly.. ultimately remove huge fears and limitations in my life

Originally Posted by Angela

That doesn't mean I can't notice and comment on the lack of integrity in your word.

Well, right me up on the chalk board.. put another list in that checkbox of "I hate master.. I mean dave"

You have every right too.. but I don't exist in the world of judgment games and integrity and this is wrong.. I exist in a world where nothing is every wrong, ever!

Originally Posted by Angela

You wouldn't want to censor me, now would you?

Nope.. speak your mind.. I'm all ears

I validate your right to say and do anything you want.. creator god!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by AaronB

Which seems of little consequence to me.

That's fine, of course. It's easy for me to see likely consequences of your not keeping your word, but that is not to see that those consequences have any motivational sway on you -- or that you even see the same likely consequences.

For the most part I do keep my word, because when I say something, I really mean what I say. If I say something that doesn't mean anything to me it makes me feel weird, I know there is some unconscious programming at play. You're exceptional at spotting it when I am up to some weird game. Then I question what I'm trying to accomplish in my speech. If I'm not saying something that feels true to me, then as you said I'm trying to win at some other game to make myself feel better but in the end I only keep myself deluded in my effort to delude you.

The purpose of my word for me is for me to get to know myself. I listen to what you say because it helps me to know you better. The more I understand others the better my self understanding will be (and vice versa), it seems there isn't a single quality someone else has that I don't at least have a smidge of myself.

I think that's lovely, and it works really well for your dream character, "Angela."

I get along really well with my inner Angela though. I hear your voice and a sense of joyfulness just shows up every time before I even read what you said. Whatever it is you are doing, I really like it I also like that I don't have to be very careful with you. No concern here about hurting Angela's feelings anytime soon.

Your belief that you don't have to be careful with me is in total alignment with my trust that you operate with a win/win intention, and that you are committed to saying what you mean and meaning what you say -- again, something that works really well for this dream character -- and inspires me to feel very loving and generous towards you. You might not care about that consequence, but I do.

[themaster]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

How come themaster never mentions me? I feel so left out.

Alright.. I notice you "Plays with Life" thanks for telling "secret" she could stay with you..

Your "all right" in my book.. but remember everyone is all right in my book

Originally Posted by Angela

Sometimes, too, there's secondary gain -- like some of the people who break their word, such as to follow the rules of the forum, and *get* certain wins for which they don't currently have access to more effective or win/win inner resources to achieve. Like the person who attacks another for the purpose of proving that a gremliny belief isn't true or to avoid people finding out that it is true (knocking others in an attempt to feel better themselves); or the person who is trying to push bad-feeling emotions out of themselves by provoking reactions in others (a highly ineffective, but unconscious, strategy).

If this is all a subtle hint in my direction it's noted but not correct for myself

I don't ultimately know why I agreed to the promise I tried to make (which was a best to my ability.. and which I did a lot of work to make happen.. (I mean edits)) but it may be "the promise" was just there to keep the dialog open with you and progress.. since yours posts basically say "you're not talking to me?"

Yet, you are?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by themaster

Do you ever notice your posts to me seem critical, derogatory and negative?

Sure. You provide me with lots of contrast.

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by themaster

Alright.. I notice you "Plays with Life" thanks for telling "secret" she could stay with you..

Your "all right" in my book.. but remember everyone is all right in my book

Why thank you!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by themaster

.... yours posts basically say "you're not talking to me?"

Yet, you are?

Like many, many things you lie about my having said, this is just an example of what I actually have said -- that lying and misquoting are strategies in communication that I find very discourteous. As I've mentioned before, you are perfectly free to lie and mischaracterize, if that's what's there for you to do, and I'm perfectly free to notice and comment on it when you do, if that's what's there for me to do.

I don't notice what you say much, Dave, because when I see you posting, my eye tends to slide right by. In this thread, where I was participating with people whom I admire and enjoy speaking with, I did actually notice you mentioning my name, something you had "promised" not to do.

I have no problem in talking to you or reading what you write, when I'm moved to do so.

[Savage]

I can see I have a lot of work to do on myselves.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Angela

"Can't"? Do you believe I *should*?

I see that you seem to want to ignore him abd I see that he drops little digs to provoke you and I see that you take the bait more often than not.

Maybe a more effective strategy would be to figure out why his digs provoke you.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

I see that you seem to want to ignore him abd I see that he drops little digs to provoke you and I see that you take the bait more often than not.

Maybe a more effective strategy would be to figure out why his digs provoke you.

What makes you think I want to ignore him, or that I wouldn't want to take his bait?

edit (oh, bye, escapeplan. see ya elsewhere.)

[James81]

Originally Posted by Angela

What makes you think I want to ignore him, or that I wouldn't want to take his bait?

edit (oh, bye, escapeplan. see ya elsewhere.)

Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you mean by "I'm gonna turn the knob on my reality and tune you out, happy trails" kinda thing.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you mean by "I'm gonna turn the knob on my reality and tune you out, happy trails" kinda thing.

Tuning someone out doesn't mean breaking the knob off -- or using energy to hold it in one position.

I have explicitly talked about how avoiding doesn't work well for me as a strategy -- I don't think it's likely that I'll be wanting it!

I like what you said about "pig returning to the slop."