Subjective Relationships (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Subjective Relationships

[Elfwing]

What you said about us all being the same dreamer - that was amazing. It resonated so much. And suddenly I get it.

But at the same time, I'm very cautious and worried about this new direction for you. Be careful. And good luck.

[supertom]

[roxyruby]

There is lots of care & acceptance for you here, & you are every bit deserving of happiness as anyone. I was so sad when I read that you got stabbed, I didn't know about that

& yes Rachelle is amazing, I felt a connection to her so fast, even though she probably doesn't/hardly know me, but I just really liked her & she seemed very similar to me in ways as I read her blog & everything

I think maybe we like this dream philosophy stuff because it's like being on a high XD

Thats funny how u say the forums are more optimistic when I was making threads sometimes about how depressed & hopeless I felt, but maybe thats only in the minority, and apart from that people are being really loving, either that or it's because I am/we are perceiving things that way because of being high on this weird dream philosophy stuff XD

Yeah I know what its like for so much syncronicities/law of attraction stuff to happen that you feel scared.

I just try to ignore it like, "yeah whatever, I'll just keep living my life even if it's f****ed up and crazy" lol

<3

[roxyruby]

This blog post made me feel more caring & empathetic. I think I was being too hard on my BF on the phone cause I forget how precious and vulnerable people really are on the inside, oh god, how could I get angry or be ugly to someone...no actually...more like, how could I be so ugly and unloving to myself, about humans, towards humans, including my self, I don't know, like, that people are just human so I can love them and accept them even if they are human and imperfect, even if they would leave me and not want me anymore, because maybe things are complicated for everyone on the inside but they just don't talk about it, so you assume you're the one that deserves to be listened to and cared for cause you know the inner problems you've been having, and thats when they get angry, because it's not being truthful and fair to what issues they might have been dealing with in the same time, maybe differently from yours, but possibly just as painful, or worse, and they can't help it, they're human

[marinik]

Thank you/me - new word youme or meyou. I/you have just one thing to say WOW!

[Channing]

I am that part that will allow you to comfortably go where pens can move.

A moving pen is maybe a too big start for you. Maybe you should try smaller steps? You could try something lighter that has also some random movement in it. If it moves you can always attribute it to a draft. You could watch a video of how somebody moves something telekinetically and see how that feels. There is a kind of wheel that turns on a spindle which is called a "PSI Wheel" or an "Egely Wheel":
YouTube - Egely Wheel Experiment - part 01
YouTube - psi wheel

How does it feel now? Has our world ended a little bit?

[supertom]

Wonder if sex is going to feel like masturbation

[ericabiz]

I'm enjoying this experiment you're doing. It's helping me to think differently about my own reality.

I would like to see you get a better picture for your avatar on your site and forum. Perhaps your reality can manifest a pro photographer?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by ericabiz

I'm enjoying this experiment you're doing. It's helping me to think differently about my own reality.

I would like to see you get a better picture for your avatar on your site and forum. Perhaps your reality can manifest a pro photographer?

It would be faster and easier for me to reprogram my shallowness.

[Maitreyee]

another echo added..

[CristinaM]

This is my first post here even if I have subscribed one year ago.
I’ve been following your blog before the spiritual “shift” then dropped it while the million dollar experiment. I didn’t reject the idea, it was more like following the blog slipped from my mind. I guess didn’t understand it and I wasn’t ready for it.
2 years later a shift began, I wasn’t satisfied with my life and began searching for more, trying different things that I was thinking will fulfill me. Another 2 years, and I came across loa. Reading Seth – Jane Roberts produced an emotional reaction going beyond words and logic. I read more since then, especially liked Power of Now, I’ve benn trying things, putting the subjective lenses on and off.
Your subjective experiment (or mine ) came at the right time, as I was, at some level, contemplating this.
I’m still cautious, though I don’t understand why I cant treat it as child play, at least, and let go and experiment.
I would like if you could share often your experiences. I want to spread my wings and fly. I feel like I’m getting ready for it through you. Thank you.

[Carl Carlson IV]

I also am too afraid to make the pen move. I want to but it would be such a drastic shift I don't know what would happen to me or this reality. Your last few blogs and this experiment are highly interesting to me, thank you for sharing your experience. Or perhaps I should be thanking myself...

But I really really really do want you to make the pen move. Please do it. Knowing that you're able to move the pen wouldn't effect me as much as if I did it myself... it wouldn't shatter my reality completely, but would definitely cause a mental shift.

I guess that's what the point of all this is anyway, showing people you can move pens and then get them to move pens themselves.

Thank you, Steve.

[Hyperchiller]

Incredible Steve. Absolutely amazing that you've stuck to this for this long.

[Eliza]

I once had an extremely realistic dream which I mistook for waking life. In this dream I could easily move objects around with my eyes. I was really surprised (and annoyed) to wake up from that one. The dream was so realistic that upon waking I did give telekinesis a try, but to no avail. It's possible that I may have been astral projecting rather than dreaming, as my dreams are not usually so vivid (as I remember them).

Perhaps when Steve finally moves that pen, we'll all be able to do it!

[Mattyyy]

You know what's scary? When one of your dream characters bonks you on the head enough times that you give in to his demands. I felt inspired to write this post, in a way, so hopefully my fellow dream-mates will find it interesting!

I was pretty hesitant about the whole dream metaphor/reality concept (what if it's true? how can I prove it? WHAT IF THE OTHER CHARACTERS THINK I'M WEIRD etc.) 'cause it seemed awfully bizarre to me. But then I started giving in. After all, I have nothing to lose. And if I'm the dreamer, then who cares what a dream character thinks of me? I'd just be fighting a reflection of myself, right? And who cares if I could prove it or not?

I started thinking about the nature of a dream reality, intently working out my internal problems in the process. (Surprisingly, to me, a problem with no great resolution in an objective reality mindset was fixed absolutely beautifully in subjective reality. Almost too eerie.) I noticed that every time I would hit on a truth, I'd find a bit of change lying around. (Whenever I'm on the right path, I always find change. It's kind of like a sign from the spirit guides/universe to me that I've had for over a year now. It's very effective and attention grabbing!) First I found a penny. Then a dime. Then a second dime. Then... a third dime. All around the house, all within about an hour, while constantly thinking of my dream world and how it functions. I was blown away. It's not like I was searching for loose change, either - there would be coins *there*. In front of me. At the exact moment.

"A Christmas Carol" was being replayed in the living room over and over again, and almost every time I've stepped out there, Scrooge blares out the line "Are there no prisons? No poorhouses?" Over and over. It was incessant and irritating. Why are prisons and poorhouses being reflected in my reality over and over again? Is this some ominous sign of things to come?

After finding all of this change and doing all of this thinking, I walk out to the living room, and once again, there's the line. And then it completely dawned on me. That line isn't being reflected in my reality because it's trying to reference literal prisons or poorhouses; it's talking about the state of reality. "Prisons" are the things that are kept locked in my mind, what I don't let myself go and accept, the blocks that I have; "poorhouses" reflect the things I feel as if I'm lacking and need more of, the 'state of my house'.

And that's when everything wrapped up and officially "clicked" for me. I then I opened up a web page I wanted to read, and the first thing I see is "£3" written there, staring back at me. Hey, it's not change or American currency, and it may not be real, but it's like I hit the jackpot.

So... being the ever curious person, I decided to test out my dream reality one last time for now. I picked up the first book I got my hands on. I stated my intention to myself, "I'm going to think of something that's true about how my dream reality operates, and if it is true, when I open this book, there will be a reference to money." The first thing that popped into my head was something along the lines of, "Whenever I get an image is this dream world, there most likely isn't a literal meaning behind it. It's something I'm going to have to ascribe a meaning to myself - what does X represent to me?" I opened my book to a completely random page, without looking. What do I see? The phrase "don't out-$pend, out teach" - with the S in "spend" as a dollar sign, just like that.

On another note, which song have I been listening to the most this past week? A classical piece, Mendelssohn's "O For The Wings of a Dove", which has the line "... and remain there forever at rest". Rest?! I'm going to be at a funeral later this week; death is like "eternal rest", isn't it? I'm typing this up at a little past 5 in the morning; it's still night. Did all of this thinking tonight, too. The song that's paused on my iTunes right now is, ironically enough, "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson, which I started listening to before Steve's post went up. The entire song is an extended metaphor about how everybody you meet is a reflection of yourself. Read the lyrics if you've never heard the song before.

Isn't that all so freaky?! It's like the blog post says - my reality is trying to tell me I'm dreaming, and won't give up until I give in. Oh crap.

The rabbit hole sure looks lovely. Peering down, it isn't as dark as I thought it was, and there's some great company down there. I'm terrified about what all of it means but I'm way too curious to discover more. So... I'm jumping in anyways. Here I go!

[bluelighth]

I read this, and I realized something about my singing - I've been creating a situation where I'm not succeeding in doing some things vocally that I want to do (and need in order to sing the song I want to use in an audition), because it allowed me to stay in my comfort zone - my familliar setting of having more than what it takes to do anything I want but failing anyway - and to not have to decide between two universities/colleges and courses I'd like, since I'd not be accepted to my top choice.
After realizing that, I went to practice, and I was able to do something I'd been having trouble with for a few months instantly - no warmup, no real effort...
Amazing!
Meanwhile the blocks seem to have been rebuilding, but its MY dream, so I'll get them demolished soon enough

Cheers!

[Rudolf]

Is this really happening? I finished an amazing year with "life-healing" course given by great healers\teachers couple recently. I was slowing down a bit lately because the course produced many changes throughout the year and I was wondering how to integrate it with what I learnt from you during the years. And then you started your subjective reality & inspiration trial and with your latest article it finally clicks and here I am, experiencing the biggest goosebumbs ride ever(my soul screaming Yeah baby)!

We were taught in the course that the whole world works as mirrors of our consciousness. I.e. Do you have a problem with a family member? Stop focusing outside (it never worked, did it?), take 100 per cent responsibility and search inside where it started.. Which part of yourself do you need to heal? Very often, not accidentaly I believe, some specific situations from many years ago resurface which makes the whole process faster. Once we finally truly understand these situations and what should have been done differently, something inside changes\heals on emotional level (it is not enough to do this on rational level) and some aspects of relationship with certain person change as well. That person usually feels the shift almost immediately as well, no matter where they are and miracle happens because next time we interact together it is very different depending on how big that shift was.

My point is that the whole process is SUBJECTIVE as well and you can start changing "your" whole world this way, one shift after another and the process never stops once it starts, at least it feels that way. It really is Wonderland stuff. My relationship with parents is very different to what it was a year ago and I witnessed similar changes happening to dozens other people who did the course with me. Subjective approach really does the trick and fast - this way it is easy to drop what makes us stuck - injustice feelings, blame,..replace it with total responsibility for everything that happens in our lives (and I really mean everything!!) and focus inside, reconstructing our lives while enjoying the whole process once we see that mirrors show something very different now!

PS: Steve, I've always considered your articles very honest and straightforward but this goes to completely new level. You finally made me cry..with joy. Thank you.

[jupsun]

Hi there,

I've been reading the blog for quite a while, this post seemed like a good time for me to register.

I completely believe in the subjective reality and I live it as I can and I accept everything as a message from my subconscious (or our subconscious). That's what I try to do, but as you know, there can be problems. Yes, I'm going to post a bit about some of the problems with subjective reality, because for the last six months or so I've been living a bit of a nightmare reality....

Once you accept that everything is a self manifestation, you can look at apparent obstacles with curiosity and find in them keys to unlocking greater potential. That sounds like psychobable, but you know what I mean. However, what I recently encountered were people who knew about the subjective reality, but they exploited it for negative (as far as I'm concerned) purposes. Yes, people manipulating the subjective reality in a bad way? Why? How? Well, if someone knows you are atuned to the subjective reality, they can try to influence your subjectivity so that, as a result, your own powers are hijacked, and are used against you. Of course, this requires your permission/acceptance, at least on some level, but, you know, they have tricks for getting in to you, they can find out the blocks that you are currently utilising, they can push your buttons, and once they do, they can create serious (ie non-subjective) and far reaching consequences for you, they can implant sub-routines into your mind that will continue to operate long after the implanter has left your life.

Following all this, it occured to me that to eliminate ALL possibility of somebody getting a non-subjective edge on you, would be quite a mammoth task. Like I said, it means losing all blockages. So you meet someone during a walk down the street... there's a blockage right there, you know, why did you walk down that street, why not another street, why even go for a walk? Every action requires some degree of self-imposed limitation. If you were trully 100% pure subjectivity you'd be a ball of energy floating in space.

So then what, what do we do about these people who are intent of pulling your out of the dream world and into some consciousness crushing pseudo-reality? But we can't do anything! Because to try to influence them would be to accept the premise that there is a 'them', which implies that there is a 'you', ie that you an ego that separates you from other people -- if we are all one then there is only one ego, one self.

Now, I think you can see what I'm getting at; if you are embracing oneness, and somebody else is anticipating your oneness and exploiting that for their own purposes.... to put it another way, you will continue to try to form oneness with them, but the oneness you would be connecting to isn't 'the oneness', it's a fake oneness that they have created in order to trick you and exploit you. You will connect to their fake reality and try to receive information, but everything you receive will be deceitful and corrupting. And usually what they do is they withhold key information from you, so that you are desperately trying to form oneness and find out that information, but this only brings you further under their power.

This is why it's not so easy to say "well you only became affected by their efforts because you allowed them to".... to allow or not allow essentially comes down to how familiar you are with 'subjectivity' and how accurately you can judge whether you are connecting to a fake subjectivity or the true subjectivity. Not only that, but you have to have faith in true subjectivity, you have to realise that following true subjectivity will always get you out of (non-subjective) danger, even if it means doing something that might seem dubious, like quiting a job in order to escape limitation patterns. And the awareness of which choice is the choice that will take you closer to or further away from subjectivity is sometimes only an imperceptible inkling...Then there's the fake realities that are truly seductive and alluring... the ones that you willingly accept even though you know they will take you away from true subjectivity.

Based on all that, I might just say that the art of true subjectivity will take a very long time to master, but, on the other hand, from a subjective point of view, complete subjectivity can be reached in an instant, without any effort or suffering at all.

Anyway Steve, I'd be interested if you could post about times when you've manifested a giant subjectivity sucking monster, which has indeed sapped you of your subjectivity, and made you think, 'there's only one road out of here, and it's long and hard'.... and how, somehow, before you've accepted your 'fate', you've retrieved your subjectivity and realised you don't have to conform to the appearances of the situation, and you return to the stream of subjectivity as if nothing bad ever happened (because it didn't). Being able to retrieve subjectivity after a SHOCK to the system... that's a true feat and something I'd like to hear more about. And I don't mean resolving something after a number of months or years, I mean reversing the situation right then and there, avoiding years of unresolved blockages. What, in your mind, does it take to be able to summon that sort of power? And, do you believe that transformational power of this sort should be conserved, or should it flow freely at all times?

[Lionman]

Wow, haven't read anything that's hit me that hard in a long time.

Funny, yesterday I was listening to a song by Biffy Clyro and just started crying. I haven't really had this reaction before to music either. t just seemed so beautiful and intense.

Then you post this about music and SR, amazing. Thanks for that great post, so much great stuff in there.

"When we collide, we come together
If we don't, we'll always be apart
I'll take a bruise, I know you're worth it
When you hit me, hit me hard"
- Biffy Clyro

*To me this song is about people coming together. In a really deep intimate relationship way, overcoming barriers to see just how far love can go deeper into someone. Kind of like atoms fusing together and getting passed resistance to merge into one, releasing tonnes of energy.

[CristinaM]

I just got an inspiration to ask you:
why do you think you dreamed you got stabbed?
when you forgave this and integrated back to yourself (I assume you did), what meaning did you assign to it?

[CristinaM]

Originally Posted by jupsun

Hi there,

Now, I think you can see what I'm getting at; if you are embracing oneness, and somebody else is anticipating your oneness and exploiting that for their own purposes....

If you embrace oneness then there is no somebody else, isn't it?
Then the question is: why are you exploiting yourself?

Originally Posted by jupsun

to put it another way, you will continue to try to form oneness with them, but the oneness you would be connecting to isn't 'the oneness', it's a fake oneness that they have created in order to trick you and exploit you. You will connect to their fake reality and try to receive information, but everything you receive will be deceitful and corrupting. And usually what they do is they withhold key information from you, so that you are desperately trying to form oneness and find out that information, but this only brings you further under their power.

[cacheborn]

Curiouser and curiouser!” Cried Alice...

Okay frankly I am not sure what to say except agree with Alice.

I can relate very well to Matrix. I do like it too much. also Star Wars. I used to get sad that it was only a fantasy but not anymore.

ps : I was thinking sometime back it would be cool an iPad

[Zach M]

I have just one thing to say: congrats on the threesome, Steve.

[Maria O]

Gotta love the Depeche Mode references. Steve, wow, what a journey you're on!

[James81]

The thing about music and movies that we like...

I notice that when movie or a song really resonates with me, that there is a message in that song/movie...a phrase or two that relates back to my limiting beliefs in some way. it's been astounding for myself to see that kind of things in songs that I really loved or was really moved by.

As for this:

If the dreamer doesn’t perceive something, then the dream mind doesn’t bother to resolve it.

That's an interesting thought. Perhaps you can eventually resolve war and bring about world peace.

[Warping]

Younger Brother - Psychic Gibbon

[James81]

I wonder if perhaps you'll get inspired to go watch Inception, Steve.

That oughtta really bake your noodle during this trial.

[Rudolf]

On and on
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess I'm learning
I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning
Round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on..

[StandardDeviate]

Best post ever!!

I was where you are some time ago, and i have a hilarious observation.

It is soooo funny that you think this is a 30 day trial LOLOLO!! You can never go back, and YOU KNOW THAT LMAO!!

Great job, and WELCOME!