How to apply Polarity to this situation?

[NathanPhillips]

Hi, guys. I've been reading the Polarity posts on Steve's blog, and have scanned the forum discussions. I've absorbed it all in about a day, and the Polarized Problem-Solving article today. So my head's still spinning a slight amount. I've been wondering how to apply the Polarity concept to something I'm aiming for.

I'm in Mexico. My aim is to build a successful business importing cars from the USA and selling them in Mexico. I've got my first car and I'm in the process of selling it. I'm doing this first one to go through the process once, to learn the market, etc.

So how do I apply Polarity to this aim? I've been asking myself this question - well, what really IS my motivation here? Which motivational stance do I want to approach this from? Am I doing this entirely for money and the enhancement of my own experience? I'm tempted to say yes - at least in this particular situation.

But I've never been the type to use dominance and control. I've definitely had a tendency towards the love side of Polarity most or all of my life. At the same time, I understand completely the appeal to the Selfish side. The only thing I don't like about it is - I, personally, have almost never been motivated by fear.

So I guess I have that little fuzzy area when I think about the Darkworker side of things. The selfish part I understand. The be-motivated-by-fear part, I don't understand. Can you be selfish about something, but not out of fear? If so, that's where I might place myself.

So you can see how I'm a little confused. It hasn't all settled in my mind yet. Can anyone give me some pointers? What would a Lightworker-ish way of approaching this business look like? How would the Darkworker paint his tapestry, in this situation?

Could I approach different aspects of the business with different Polarities? Or would that just screw things up? For example, "A regular flow of good-quality cars comes to me from the States." Approach that with Inflow Polarity. And, "I build a respected reputation in Mexico for providing good-quality vehicles." Approach that with Outflow Polarity. (or some similar example).

Could a Lightworker use their native Polarity to pursue a "get-goal" - like, to have a certain amount of money?

I suspect I'm currently confusing Polarities in my approach to this business. What I want is definitely to "have an amount of money", achieved by this business. But I just as definitely don't want to use fear and dominance to get it. I want to do it providing real value. That's just my natural approach and always has been. But the money - I want for me. So where am I on the Polarity scale?

[Susie]

Can you be selfish about something, but not out of fear? If so, that's where I might place myself.

I agree, I'm confused on this point, too.

[yossarian]

I also have never subscribed to the fear theory, preferring to call it service-to-self or love-of-self.


Inflow = service to self, love of self
Outflow = service to others, love of others

[eternomi]

Polarity is not a per action thing. It is a mindset. It guides everything you think and do.

What is your overall goal with your business? To solve a problem, provide for a need, serve others? Or serve yourself no matter what? Is there deceit involved at all? Are you creating a win-win situation for all involved (including yourself)?

'Love' polarity does not mean submission and letting others walk all over you. It is a mindset which directs your actions in a particular way. It is a paradigm shift where you put down your shield and stop acting reactively, and move away from fear to being proactive, nonjudgmental and realistic.

[NathanPhillips]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

My goal with the business is to make money for myself. And to do it in a way that provides real value to others.

The way I understand Polarity right now, that seems like my motivation is the Inflow, and my approach to getting there is by Outflow. Is that possible? Is that mixing Polarities?

I certainly don't intend to use deceit, ever. I'm always very honest about things. If something is wrong with the car, I make that known up-front. But that's all based on "I want to have the experience of abundant cash in my life." It's not based on "well, I think the people in Guanajuato really need more cars for reasonable prices. I'll do everything I can to make that happen." You see what I mean? It's motivated by desiring something for ME. And I of course know that word-of-mouth advertising is important, so I want to do everything I can to be honest with my customers.

But I also just want to provide a good product because I like to provide good things to other people. I would never screw someone over just to gain a few extra bucks. I would always choose honesty.

Maybe I'm just sort of right in the middle?

[fretho]

I'm experimenting with the grey approach, and I think it works. First I picture a thought as pure content -- grey, no energy. I see the words of the phrase, i.e. "I am making money" with a grey font. Then I fill it with red or black coloring and think of what I hope to gain. I think of this in terms of self-interest, how it will benefit me, not glory or how it's going to impact others. Then I go back to grey and look at it as just a thought. Then, I picture it with bright white or blue, and think of the ways I can benefit others with it, and focus on feelings of love and acceptance. Finally, I bring it back to grey, and think of balance and wholeness.

My basic theory is that grey works best for obtaining knowledge, light for benefitting others, and dark for self-interest. The real goal is not to change the amounts of these things (they are all three present in endless amounts) but to change the way you are conscious of them to a higher level. Fear turns to pride, guilt turns to love, and confusion turns to knowledge.

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by NathanPhillips

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

My goal with the business is to make money for myself. And to do it in a way that provides real value to others.

An interesting question to ask is what you would do when faced with a tradeoff between those two options.

What if one day you came to a point where you HAD to choose one or the other, because they were mutually exclusive? Would you choose your own money, or provide value for others at the expense of your own money.

I don't mean to imply that this will happen or that it's even realistic, but I think it can make an interesting thought experiment.

I guess another way to think of it would be, "What are you willing to DIE for?" What is so important to you that you would sooner protect it than protect your own life?

[NathanPhillips]

Thanks again for the replies. The Grey approach sounds like an interesting possibility.

I was thinking about this this morning. I realized that while I do want the money for ME - what I really mean is I want the money to enable me to create the things I want to create. And that always includes sharing with others, contributing to others, creating things with other people. But it also includes solo travel, solo study, new experiences that are purely for my own enjoyment and/or development.

So I guess either a Lightworker or a Darkworker always, of course, wants what they set out to get for themself. They want the resources to enable them to make happen what is most important to them. The Lightworker wants their money "for ME" - to do what I think is best and worthwhile with it.

I like your thought-experiment idea, yossarian. Which would I die for? New experiences, or helping others? Unfortunately, my first reaction to that is - both. It depends on the particular situation. I've done things in both categories that I would have died for. It's just that sometimes I am driven to do something for another person that I think is totally and completely worthwhile. And other times I'm driven to do something for myself that I feel is equally worthwhile for me - to the point that, yes, I would die pursuing it. I'd probably never die for money. But, say, for a new experience like skydiving, or hiking 3 months through the jungle, I would gladly risk my life. The experience is more important.

And what if they were mutually exclusive? Actually, on this one, I lean towards the Outflow side. I have a few times given away (literally) my last dollar. One time in Hawai'i I gave my last dollar away to a homeless guy, then had to rummage through change to buy a small fries at McDonalds. Then again, maybe that was more of an Inflow thing. Because it was an interesting experience for me to be flat broke. I was actually aiming to experience that. So again, here, I was making an experience for myself more important than surviving.

But applied to this business in particular - I would sacrifice the money in order to provide better value. I know a lot of people are always looking for the cheapest way to provide something, so that they make a few extra bucks. It doesn't really matter to them that they're providing a less-than-quality product. I am definitely, whole-heartedly on the other side on this argument. I will provide something quality and make a smaller profit any day. When I do something in the world, providing something worthwhile is of prime importance.

I wonder if solo pursuits can be classified under Lightworker? I had an image of a hermit living out in the forest, away from society, say for 10 years. Is that inherently selfish, or could he also be living in that situation in a Lightworker-way? For example - providing benefit to the forest and animals he lives with?

I see the power of deciding one way or another. To have your fundamental motivation clarified is a rock-solid foundation for making ANY and EVERY decision in your life. Deciding ways to respond to situations your presented with; and deciding which general direction your life takes. Making that decision frees you up to make the big decisions about what exactly to do with your life. When the aim is clear, the specifics will get steadily clearer.

I guess my question is - if I really chose one or the other, would I have to completely forsake the other? Because currently I enjoy both. There are times when I do things for myself, and times when I do things for other people. And I get enjoyment out of both of them. If I would decide, for example, to live as a Lightworker (as described by Steve) - would it then be incompatible to take, say, a solo 3-month expedition through the Amazon jungle? Because that's the type of thing I want to do with my life. I wouldn't be deceiving anyone to do it, or exercising dominance, or utilizing fear to motivate me or anyone else; but I would also be doing it for purely selfish reasons. Is that compatible with Lightworking?

My guess, at the moment, is that YES - that is a Lightworker way of doing it. Because if I came across anyone, I would instantly want to communicate with them. I would never use fear or try to dominate them. I would rather exchange love. Could it be that even though it's a solo trip, I'm doing it because I want to Create something (Outflow), rather than because I want to dominate the world (Inflow)?

Whew. I didn't realize how much was behind my one little original question

[yossarian]

Humans need more than just food and shelter and clothing. We need meditation, we need retreat, we need to recharge.

The typical ascetic hermit who goes to live in the forest usually does so to find a greater connection with the world, so that he can come back to society and contribute far more than he otherwise would have been able to. He leaves not to separate from society, but to separate from the trivial dealings of society so that he can unite with the true being of those people.

Through his meditations he acquires the ability to provide value.

What polarizes are not actions but intentions. The man who goes into the forest intends to learn to serve, to find a divine connection that he can then share with others. His intentions are positive and so he is doing lightwork.

Why do you intend to explore the Amazon? The mind imagines an experience that brings great peace and awe. Spending time immersing yourself in nature lets you tap into that universal je ne sais quoi which leads to your elation. You share this elation without even trying. If you can keep those high states of awareness, other people will naturally benefit just by being around you. In those cases you don't even have to try to serve, you are doing it automatically with your precense.

Humans need to find this divine connection as much as they need to find food and shelter. So it definitely can be positively oriented, just like sleeping when you're tired is positively oriented. Without your sleep your service is crippled.

[NathanPhillips]

Yes, I like the image you describe of finding a connection and bringing that experience back to society. Indeed that's always what I've seen myself doing. I kind of use James Bond as my mental model for a Darkworker. He is utterly selfish. He maintains relationships purely as far as they benefit him, or might benefit him. He is appraising every situation around - "What can I get out of this?" And he doesn't think of ever giving back. According to some of the story, he doesn't ever think about retirement; he doesn't believe he'll live that long. So he sees his life as a long stretch of experiences solely for himself, and then terminating.

But I've never seen my life that way. I've always had this desire to provide nice places that promote self-inquiry, self-development, and peaceful congregation of people with intensely differing views. A place for those people to come to get to know each other. And this extends to travel experiences - I would like to guide people on travel experiences like a trip through the Amazon, crossing the Empty Quarter, and other places in which you can be fully immersed in nature and removed from society for a time. And I want to support those experiences as transformational periods in that person's life.

I guess my whole qualm is - I don't want to do those things RIGHT NOW. I want to take care of myself first; I want to have those experiences first. Then I'll feel able to give them. So I guess, looking at the big picture that way, the path as a whole follows a Lightworking theme.

And, actually, thinking about those larger goals again makes me more motivated to succeed in the business aim that's on my current plate. Because - as something that leads to those things, as a first step towards them, it feels that much more worthwhile.

Well I certainly feel like I've made some progress with this I haven't got it all worked out yet, but I think I'm going to give a try to consciously making my life about the Creative Polarity for awhile. At least give it that 30-day trial that Steve is so fond of. (And which I also like).