A Darkworker's Fear

[Jerigan]

I have been doing a lot of thinking about these recent topics lately. After reading Steve's latest post I realized I am a darkworker. I didn't see this at first because I did not wish to see. The words that Steve used; light and dark, love and fear, etc. created initial resistance to being dark. Then I realized something. These are just words. They only mean what I want them to mean. I know see the dark in a positive light.

All that said, I have an issue with one idea that keeps popping up.

Darkworkers are motivated by their fear. They conquer it and make it serve them. Lightworkers on the other hand, transcend their fear and won't allow it to affect them.

Why is this necessary? I see no problem with the lightworker part. Whatever you guys do is fine. The issue comes up with the darkworker idea. Why do we have to keep our fear?

Sure, I have conquered many fears. Guess how I did that? Moving above them. Same as lightworkers are supposed to do. I do not fear for myself or others. There is no reason to fear. Realizing there is no problem is the perfect way to combat any situation. Since I do conquer the fear, there is no concern that I could be a lightworker in denial.

Of course, I still do make use of fear. Not as a motivator but as a means. Using other people's fear to get them to do what I need done. My motivation is not fear, but want. I want something and do what it takes to have it. There is no reason to fear losing things, I can get them back.

Dark is only evil because society says it is. If you are afraid of that perception of evil, bad for you and good for me. Gives me more ways to get you to do something for me.

[Baltar]

Originally Posted by Jerigan

Why is this necessary? I see no problem with the lightworker part. Whatever you guys do is fine. The issue comes up with the darkworker idea. Why do we have to keep our fear?

Sure, I have conquered many fears. Guess how I did that? Moving above them. Same as lightworkers are supposed to do. I do not fear for myself or others. There is no reason to fear. Realizing there is no problem is the perfect way to combat any situation. Since I do conquer the fear, there is no concern that I could be a lightworker in denial.

My understanding is that a darkworker defines courage as the overcoming of fear. A lightworker on the other hand chooses to believe that fear is an illusion and isn't real. Thus for a lightworker there's nothing to conquer. If fear doesn't exist, then the darkworker definition of courage isn't possible (and the entire philosophy falls apart). Conversely if you believe that fear does exist, then you're not going to make a very good lightworker.

[Jerigan]

So then I'm really just a selfish lightworker? That doesn't seem to work either.

Edit: Ok, I think my confusion is just stemming from having lived in the middle for so long. By having moved beyond fear and willingly helping others, I work towards the light. Doing many selfish acts neutralizes the first part.

So maybe I should just work on giving more of myself. I think I need to do some more thinking...