What more can you teach us about early rising?

[granted]

Early to bed, early to rise.

Being 'habitually' late says you're un-disciplined, arrogant and incredibly rude.

YMMV.

[munish]

Originally Posted by James81

I'm half-joking, but I kinda want another "how to wake up early" article.

More seriously, though, I'm looking for yours (and anybody else's) beliefs about rising early and about being on time for functions (work, social, etc.).

I'm someone who is chronically late for everything and have always been that way and I'd like to change. I know it revolves a lot about what I believe about being on time, but I'm curious about beliefs that people here have about being on time for things. What drives you to be on time? What do you believe about being late?

I think steve has already done 3 articles on Early rising.

Use an Alarm, have some goals, never listen to your body , otherwise you will oversleep.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by granted

Early to bed, early to rise.

Being 'habitually' late says you're un-disciplined, arrogant and incredibly rude.

YMMV.

Oh wow... I'm un-disciplined, arrogant and incredibly rude... Thank you for that personal assessment

I agree with the un-disciplined part. You are right. People who are more disciplined have less trouble being at places on time.

Arrogant and rude? Not really I am late because of other issues, that have nothing to do with the other people

It has to do with distortion of time. When I have to leave soon, taking a shower all of the sudden takes 20 minutes instead of 15. I cannot find my keys. I have an urgent phone call to make. My shoes are dirty. The traffic lights are all red.

Either one of these wouldn't make a difference, but all of them together do...

[carenkh]

I used to be late all the time! It was the distortion of time thing - I used to actually believe something would take *no* time, as in: "I'm going to stop by the house and pick up my jacket", but I wouldn't add in the time that would take! In my mind, it would take no time; in reality, it would take 5 - 10 minutes.

Part of the way I switched was not liking the stress I caused myself and my boys by running late. "Hurry! Get your things! We have to leave NOW!" because I'd failed to get ready to leave earlier. Wanting a kinder, more respectful relationship with my kids made me take more responsibility for noticing the time, and having things ready ahead of time. I naturally preferred a slower, more gentle pace, and I'd arrive where we were going much more peaceful and centered than if I was rushing about. It felt better to be on time! I'm happier, the boys are happier, the people we're meeting are happier - win, win, win.

Also, I do not have a car any longer, and rely on public transportation. If I'm late for the bus, I might not make the meeting at all! Choosing to live by the transit system's schedule helped me manage my own better. There's not the option of speeding up the bus driver like I would speed in my car!

I'm now early for most things, and I get ready for things in advance, and I enjoy the peace that has brought. The stress wasn't worth it!

[Michael Chui]

I'm kinda confused by what the difference between "poor time management" and "distortion of time" is. I mean, if I find I'm habitually late to a particular meeting, then I'll aim to get there ten minutes early. Or fifteen minutes early. I had this problem at work, going for a morning meeting, and then I started disciplining myself to leave the house by THIS time in order to catch THIS bus which would put me at work fifteen minutes early rather than exactly on time... and it stopped being a problem.

I don't feel like time is being un-distorted; I feel like I'm taking control of how I use my time.

[granted]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Arrogant and rude? Not really I am late because of other issues, that have nothing to do with the other people.

Yeah sorry, it was a little harsh

I just expect people to always be on time—because I am always on time. Always. I take offense if others don't reciprocate the courtesy...

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by granted

Yeah sorry, it was a little harsh

I just expect people to always be on time—because I am always on time. Always. I take offense if others don't reciprocate the courtesy...

That's ok... I'll just make sure that if we would have ever an appointment, you'd think it was 1 hour later then me.. that way we would both be happy

[granted]

Originally Posted by ssandra

That's ok... I'll just make sure that if we would have ever an appointment, you'd think it was 1 hour later then me.. that way we would both be happy

Cool

Actually I use this tactic with people I know will always be late. Guess what? They're still always late LOL

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

Huh.

My usual technique is just to Know that I need to be awake at a certain time. As long as I'm well-rested, that's usually enough.

I almost always wake up at or before the time I need to get up when I hold that firm intention in my mind before going to sleep.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by granted

Cool

Actually I use this tactic with people I know will always be late. Guess what? They're still always late LOL

You sound like my dad. I listened to both of my parents manipulate each other into having accurate expectations of when they expected each other to do things.

It never ended well.

[supertom]

The problem i most notice it people confuse rising early and waking up early. Rising early means getting out of bed, your body the night before, for me it takes about 25mins before the mental fog disappears.

[Snorkledorf]

What seems to work for me is going to sleep with a clear mental image of exactly what I'm going to be doing when I wake up. Item by item, more or less. When I do this, I find it fairly easy to switch gears out of sleep and immediately do something. It's like my mind jumps back into the state it was in at the point I fell asleep, with various things pending. Kind of like, "Oh, that's right, now I remember!" And I get out of bed because what to do is obvious.

Basically if I go to sleep with certainty, I wake up with certainty.

If I have only a vague image of the start of this specific day, the moment I wake up my mind will still diligently try to construct something on the fly. Unfortunately since I'm closer to asleep than awake just then, it usually winds up involving smurfs and Billie Piper and such so immediate implementation becomes a bit of a problem. And as I ponder this I drift back off to sleep. Preparing things beforehand is much more efficient.

While the awake me likes leaving lots of possibilities open, the about-to-wake-up me thrives on absolute certainty.

[change ali]

I've been a polyphasic sleeper now since Aug 09, and it is still excruciating to get up at 4am every morning. I've slowly added more sleep time. I started with the 1am-4am core sleep with three 20 min naps during the day. Now I go to bed at 11pm and sleep til 4am, with three 20 min naps. I am very well - rested during my days, but I can't seem to conquer the difficulty in getting up at 4am. I sometimes have days where I sleep in, and on days when I can get myself up, I may oversleep on during my morning nap at 7am. Honestly, I don't think I am tired.

Steve, you mention that it takes discipline, but I have been doing this for almost 10 months. What about limiting beliefs? I seem to be stuck. E.g. a couple of beliefs that I am aware that I have is "I believe it is too early to get up and start my day," and "I believe that it's too hard to get up." I've used Morty Lefkoe's method to try and conquer these beliefs, but I feel stuck. W/ the first belief, one of the Lefkoe techniques is to find the source of the belief.....I chocked it up the source of my belief coming from seeing most of humanity thinks 4am is too early and not getting up then. The next step is to come up with another interpretation.....maybe the actual time is irrelevant and its really about the actual amount of time that I get to sleep. The next step is to realize that I didn't actually see this in the world....but I do. I see that people believe 4am is too early and that they do not get up. This is where I am stuck. How do I change these beliefs? Isn't this the first step, before self-disciple? Please help.

[ElyseD]

I’ve found that people who are chronically late rationalize it and despite a load of apologies, believe it’s okay to make someone wait.

But I agree that it’s a lack of maturity and integrity, and not valuing other people’s time. Harsh but true.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by ElyseD

I’ve found that people who are chronically late rationalize it and despite a load of apologies, believe it’s okay to make someone wait.

I'm not sure about making people wait, but I do know that there is nothing wrong with people waiting for me.

I'm worth waiting for.

Nor is there anything wrong with me waiting on people. If they are not worth waiting for, I should not be meeting them in the first place

[ElyseD]

I feel this is a rationalization. It’s not about worth, but consideration.

If a friend agrees to meet me for dinner at 8pm, and she shows up at 8:30, and I’ve stood around waiting for a half hour, then that’s time I could have been doing something else.

If it happens occasionally, and due to transportation problems or something out of their control, then fine. But for people who are chronically late, that’s often not the case, I’ve found.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by ElyseD

I feel this is a rationalization. It’s not about worth, but consideration.

If a friend agrees to meet me for dinner at 8pm, and she shows up at 8:30, and I’ve stood around waiting for a half hour, then that’s time I could have been doing something else.

Maybe... but if they were on time, you wouldn't have been doing anything else anyway... you would have been with them...

I'm just saying... for most people who are late it has nothing to do with respect, consideration etc. It is just human flaw

And seriously... if you don't consider a good friend worth waiting 30 minutes for... are they really a good friend?

[shasah]

Originally Posted by ssandra

Maybe... but if they were on time, you wouldn't have been doing anything else anyway... you would have been with them...

I'm just saying... for most people who are late it has nothing to do with respect, consideration etc. It is just human flaw

And seriously... if you don't consider a good friend worth waiting 30 minutes for... are they really a good friend?

Don't really agree with you here Ssandra. I would have been spending time with my friend instead of spinning my wheels waiting. And you may not see it as not having to do with respect, but IMO it is a huge sign of disrespect. You are basically saying that my time is not valuable.

A good friend is worth waiting 30 minutes for but, by the same token, isn't a good friend worth being on time for? It frustrates me when someone is late. Do you realize how many things you can get done in 1/2 hour??

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by shasah

Don't really agree with you here Ssandra. I would have been spending time with my friend instead of spinning my wheels waiting. And you may not see it as not having to do with respect, but IMO it is a huge sign of disrespect. You are basically saying that my time is not valuable.

A good friend is worth waiting 30 minutes for but, by the same token, isn't a good friend worth being on time for? It frustrates me when someone is late. Do you realize how many things you can get done in 1/2 hour??

It's more than that. Continue her argument and she doesn't ever actually have to show up: if you wait for the entire period you would have spent with her, then it's not like you would have been doing anything else anyways. In her mind, you've lost nothing and she has complete freedom.

This is coming, by the way, from someone who just waited 2 months for a good friend. 30 minutes is nothing to me.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by shasah

A good friend is worth waiting 30 minutes for but, by the same token, isn't a good friend worth being on time for? It frustrates me when someone is late. Do you realize how many things you can get done in 1/2 hour??

I agree that a good friend is also worth being on time for. Absolutely. That is why I usually either agree to meet between 1 - 2 or I leave the house 30 to 45 minutes early.

What I disagree with though is the automatic signs of disrespect that people are reading into being late.

Some people simply do not have a good grasp of time. They think something will take 5 minutes and it takes 15. Or some people loose a lot of things so they spend 15 minutes looking for the keys that they are holding in their hands. Or some people always get lost on their way to things. So they take a few wrong turns.

Combine all of the above and you have me

Truly, I would never mean disrespect. Stuff just happens.

[shasah]

Originally Posted by ssandra

I agree that a good friend is also worth being on time for. Absolutely. That is why I usually either agree to meet between 1 - 2 or I leave the house 30 to 45 minutes early.

What I disagree with though is the automatic signs of disrespect that people are reading into being late.

Some people simply do not have a good grasp of time. They think something will take 5 minutes and it takes 15. Or some people loose a lot of things so they spend 15 minutes looking for the keys that they are holding in their hands. Or some people always get lost on their way to things. So they take a few wrong turns.

Combine all of the above and you have me

Truly, I would never mean disrespect. Stuff just happens.

Some people are pretty anal about time. Used to be me. I am learning patience though. Have some help now. Went with my bf to Tennessee this weekend to attend a graduation and we were literally having to run into the building to see the commencement. It was actually kind of funny. Drove in a T-top and had zero time to brush hair or change into something appropriate. Everyone else was all dressed up and we looked like a couple of real rednecks lol. Why were we late? Because he wanted to show me the highest waterfall east of the Rockies. How can I complain???

[Happy Giraffe]

I thought this was a great essay about behavior patterns that lead to lateness:

Sorry I'm Late - Advice - The Chronicle of Higher Education

I recognized myself in the "Platonic traveler" category.

[NorthSouth]

I hope this doesn't sound too much like criticism (this is my first post after months of lurking), but I wanted to add my two cents, since I've been thinking a lot recently about certain behaviors and the intentions behind them.

Several people have said that they mean no disrespect by habitually being late, but I ask: you do realize that it is likely to be seen as disrespectful by the person you're meeting, right?

When I was a third-grader in suburban Boston, my friends and I used the word "gay" to mean lame or uncool. I was vaguely aware that it also meant homosexual, but I didn't use it in that sense. One day a teacher pointed out to me that using the word "gay" as I was- pejoratively- was disrespectful to gays. "But I didn't mean it that way," I protested.

Fast-forward a couple of decades: my attorney father states for me a central but usually unstated tenet of all legal systems: You are assumed to intend the logical consequences of your actions. Simple and obvious, but powerful. If you are aware that your word or deed is likely to cause some negative reaction, then really, you do intend it.

I live in Chile now, where you literally have to be late for certain appointments. Arrive on time to a party, they say, and the host will still be in the shower. (It's happened to me!) Sometimes foreigners will specify "Chilean time" or "Gringo time" on an invitation. We need a system like the German one described in the "Sorry I'm Late" article.

One thing that's helped me mitigate the "fear" of arriving early to appointments is my BlackBerry, which allows me to be reasonably productive whatever the gap between our arrival times is.

[James81]

I thought of this thread for some reason this morning.

I would be curious to hear about how early rising fits into the SR model.