Leadership (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Leadership

[JeremyNoelJohnson]

Well I can tell you that using Star Trek as a reference was awesome. I can certainly relate to the 'Red Alert' feeling. It's something I still am working on overcoming even to this day. And this is mostly with my family. Most of them are overweight and unsatisfied. This is difficult for me when I'm around them. I have to really pick my words carefully so as not to offend or create a distance. I've made the mistake in the past doing that

I am amazed that you are able to write so much information for each of your articles, but maybe amazed isn't the right word. It's expected because of where you are in your life and the steps you've taken to get where you are. You've undoubtedly had a host of experiences in life and gained an immense amount of knowledge. Just reading about your Twitter updates with learning about mushrooms made me smile. It's that kind of learning and curiosity that really qualifies one to be a leader.

And that leads me to my final point. Leadership requires mastery. Well true leadership anyway. Leadership that is not fake or forced. Because when one has mastered what they are teaching, I believe students will appear eager to learn. I firmly believe that is why you have such a LARGE following and highly active forums. You have truly mastered the personal development field far greater than just about anyone. Therefor the natural position for you here is leadership.

Thanks for your words. I am at the beginning of my path, but watching you certainly helps me see what is possible - and therefore I will continue to strive each and every day to make a positive difference in both the lives of others and myself.

[Zach M]

Thanks, Steve. This is my favorite article so far this year.

I knew the CGW was going to come up. I wish I could have woken up when I still had money, but I'll get through this. Thank you for all the free content and forums.

[roxyruby]

Thank you. I really liked this article. But how do you know that there will be people that accept you on the other side?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

Thank you. I really liked this article. But how do you know that there will be people that accept you on the other side?

Experience... and hearing countless similar experiences from others. It's predictable.

[supertom]

haha i remember making a request for a post on conscious leadership 2 years ago, its financially arrived !!

Honestly everything i have ever asked for has come true, sometimes it has taken years for simple things to come. which can be frustrating.

"universe never says no, but it does say not yet"

[Savage]

Originally Posted by supertom

haha i remember making a request for a post on conscious leadership 2 years ago, its financially arrived !!

Honestly everything i have ever asked for has come true, sometimes it has taken years for simple things to come. which can be frustrating.

"universe never says no, but it does say not yet"

I had to wait till you were a vibrational match for such a post. It took you a while to get there.

[Zach M]

Let me guess. I'm not a vibrational match while I'm worrying about money, eh?

On a more positive note, I'm grateful to have found Erika Awakening's free course on eliminating negative beliefs. It's too early to report tangible results, but I like her style. I've got a good feeling about her work, and that the changes I make will lead to more money.

[shasah]

Sorry, it didn't resonate with me. Maybe I'm not far enough along on the path. (not sure I want the path you are describing) I have not found myself outgrowing people but rather growing closer to them. I am more empathetic to their lifestyle. I choose to go my way and they are free to choose what they feel is best for them but we are able to do it together.

It feels like you are saying that I have to conform to your ideas, that your path is better than mine. ?? That's probably not what you meant, but that's how I read it.

The only area where I agree is the leadership section. I can't force people to do what is healthy for them or to grow more aware therefore I don't force my ideas on them but rather let them see the benefits that I reap and let them ask the questions.

Maybe I'll email you in a year or two and say aha, now I see what you were talking about. I don't think so though...

Have a good one.

[emeadow]

Thank you yet again for a well timed article.

Literally this has been some of the exact discussions I have been having with my husband in the last 24 hours about my family and longtime friends. I keep letting that foot dangle on one side, knowing it is probably hurting me more then anything. Trying to convince myself its fine to allow 'some time' with them, but in reality knowing that I usually end up feeling guilty and conflicted with each interaction. It is just not healthy to keep this up anymore.

So thank for finding the perfect time to kick me in the rear.
Appreciated as usual.

[Scorpio]

I like the overall thrust of this article, about being true to yourself and your path and all that.

However, I feel very strongly put off but what I see as a message in the article that anyone who eats regular food, or drinks, or who isn't into personal development is some mindless, inferior zombie that's beneath the enlightened people who are.

I feel like I see this attitude in too many self-help blogs, that if you're into self-growth you're above the masses, and you're this special misunderstood flower who no one appreciates any more, and you have to leave all your old friends behind, because they just don't 'get' the new you any more.

I understand that people change and outgrow their social circles sometimes, but I think this pervasive 'If you're into self-help you're superior and persecuted' idea takes it too far. It's just creating a lot of people with swell heads.

If you're into self-help great, but tons of other people are, even if they don't consciously realize it. You're not that special, and give other people some more credit.

[Angela]

You cannot transform your old relationships unless you complete the process of transforming yourself. You have the option of keeping your old friends and family in your life, but when this process begins to unfold, it’s better if you disconnect from those old relationships for a while. Go into your cocoon, so to speak, and allow yourself to emerge as a butterfly. Then you can return to those old relationships, and you’ll be strong enough to transform them one by one.

I'm glad to see this new growth.

[Zach M]

Originally Posted by Scorpio

I like the overall thrust of this article, about being true to yourself and your path and all that.

However, I feel very strongly put off but what I see as a message in the article that anyone who eats regular food, or drinks, or who isn't into personal development is some mindless, inferior zombie that's beneath the enlightened people who are.

I feel like I see this attitude in too many self-help blogs, that if you're into self-growth you're above the masses, and you're this special misunderstood flower who no one appreciates any more, and you have to leave all your old friends behind, because they just don't 'get' the new you any more.

I understand that people change and outgrow their social circles sometimes, but I think this pervasive 'If you're into self-help you're superior and persecuted' idea takes it too far. It's just creating a lot of people with swell heads.

If you're into self-help great, but tons of other people are, even if they don't consciously realize it. You're not that special, and give other people some more credit.

I didn't read any subtext of superiority in it. Just separation, something that a lot of people around here can attest to.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Seriously, Steve, one of the best articles you have ever written. I think I know where it spawned from. There was a thread on this forum earlier about someone feeling uncomfortable not accepting non-vegan foods when she was a vegan. You responded and said something that she should lead by example and say that the food the is being offered is not up to her standards.

I am constantly amazed by the depth and clarity of your posts, Steve. This week has been amazing in that regard.

[Elfwing]

This article described EXACTLY where I'm at. Only, according to the article, I am very, very close - something which I doubt.

Perhaps I'm being pessimistic, but I've never felt like I belonged anywhere in the past and I doubt that will start now. I have no idea how "help" could come.

But, I'll keep going, I may find something. Thank you.

[Cochonette]

LMAO, I love the appearance of Star Trek in this article... must be the influence of a new person in your life since you've been a Star Trek fan since before you met Erin.

[cacheborn]

Amazing. This completely resonates with me. It's as if the post was written just for me.

The people you cling to don’t really know you anymore. They may have known you quite well in the past, but they don’t understand the person you’ve become on the inside. You’ve changed, and they can’t keep up.

After reading this, I was like, "Hey, wait a minute, when did you meet my family?"

Thanks again. Actually this week I am feeling a little overwhelmed because of so many good posts. I will have to read them few more times to let it all sink in.

[cacheborn]

Originally Posted by Andrew Brunelle

I am constantly amazed by the depth and clarity of your posts, Steve. This week has been amazing in that regard.

Very well put. I agree completely.

[Cochonette]

Love the cacoon metaphor. I've done that before, and I did indeed emerge as a butterfly.

In your role as leader, you cannot lead by force. You must lead by true power. This is the power not to command others; it’s the power to lead by example.

You don’t have to try to convince others to be on a path of conscious growth. Don’t obsess over what others are doing. Instead, turn your gaze within, and focus on being the best example of conscious living you can be.

This is my favorite part of the article. When I became vegan, I felt intensely alienated from others, not so much because they didn't understand my lifestyle as they didn't agree with my strongly-held beliefs. Ultimately, it took meeting an amazing person who knew how to connect positively to get me over that disconnect. But I further got over it by actually re-integrating amongst non-vegans. When I became vegan, I surrounded myself by vegans and read articles/books about veganism. Now I am focused on classes again, and most of these non-vegan classmates and professors are so much smarter than me that all I can think of is wanting to learn from them. I am afraid to talk about veganism to some extent because I feel like they're superior minds will be judging me, and that their judgments will have a lot of merit, or at least that I won't know what to say back. But I do want to hear their opinions, and I'm no longer ideological about my beliefs.

And I don't have to worry about whether others agree with me or not. I just need to make sure I'm doing what's right for me. Looking within is something I didn't fully know how to do when I became vegan.

[James Fletcher]

At this point in time, I am strongly identifying with the transitioning mentioned in this article.

A few months ago, I went through a period of immense spiritual growth, one that led me to leave my job as a fast food manager, drastically cut down my alcohol/caffeine/animal product consumption, develop a new exercise routine, and most importantly, gain a new feeling of being centered and controlling emotions such as fear, anxiety and anger.

... and here comes the dreaded H word...

... However, I felt sad that I had disconnected from my old friends. So much so that I was all alone on New Years Eve (hey, who wants to hang out with a party pooper who's afraid to have a little drink? ), and my birthday was just fully awkward. Plus my new job is not turning out to be what I had hoped for.

So I slipped back a little into my old ways, which has led to a bit of a depression and a feeling of helplessness.

But I am working on it, by "it" I mean myself more than anything, and I feel the resistance is beginning to dissolve again. I very much like the sound of the leader paradigm, because as a manager, I found that the best way to get my team members to work well was not by shouting orders, but by leading by example and working hard myself. Maybe this is something that I need to apply to my life right now.

[Elfwing]

Y'know, come to think of it, it's pretty weird I had a Star Trek dream the night before you post this article, and it happens to be the very thing I've needed to hear for a while...

[JGD]

Awesome Solid Syncroncity For me.

I've been living with my brother for a year and a half. I had a harsh-break up and only with $400 on me. And he was able to help me out in exchange for working around the house.

4 months in. I started paying around $150 a month, then it moved up to $275 and then $400 while still cleaning up and doing the shopping.

These past 6 months its weird in our relationships. I've been more consciously aware, mediative, stretching, cutting red-meat out of my diet. And have been made fun of by him at times.

We also agreed that I'm allowed to have the GF stay over 2 nights a week. At times he would say no, and then no again. And yes, and yes at other times.

I noticed he brings his emotional problems from work onto me.

Yesterday. was the last straw I knew from all along that I need to move out that its limiting my growth being in the same household.

Haven't had the GF over for almost two weeks. Then I informed him that she would be staying over.

I get a text "Not today, not tommrow not this week"

And then a follwing text "if you don't like it then move out"

I said I will. By the 5th. been meditative and praying and relaxing and raising my vibration in search for a good place to live. Feeling lost/lonely. Even thoughts of just giving up and not wanting to be alive anymore.

After all that mess. and a hot bath. I found a nice spot. No roomates. close to the freeway and near where I work. And private with lots of plants/flowers and grass. (I actually wrote down what I wanted before searching for a place online. it was the first one I clicked on!)

Viewed it today. And tommrow be receiving a call to give my first months rent/deposit.

I cryed today. Just letting out feelings of lonliness, confusion and then felt much better! With clarity and now excited and calm to decorate my little own place and setting things up! Thank you Universe!

And Thank you for this Article! Really hit home!

[Jeff Lilly]

Excellent stuff; I especially liked the definition of leadership. I wrote more in depth on leadership-as-example a few years ago here:

The Tao of Leadership Druid Journal

[newton]

Thank you so much for this post!
I cannot thank you enough.

I've been depressing and betting myself for the last few weeks about not being able to pursue my dreams and being held down especially over my diet.

This post was so in synchronicity that it made me cry at the middle of it, because I could apply everything you said to myself.
It found me at just the right time.

Now I will hold the intention that I need help and focus on what I want to become, a healthy vegan science fiction and fantasy writer with a wonderful circle of friends and great intimate relations traveling around and being amazed about everything I do and experience.

Thank you so much! Thank you so much! Thank you so much!

[ju474]

Hi Steve,

amazing high quality post- very clear minded, centered and with a lot of depth. I think it´s one of your all times best.
Have got a lot of new insights. Quite interessting how many quotes I have marked.

Thanks a lot.

[Bradshaw]

This is a particularly high quality article, it truly resonates with me. Awesome.

I gotta ask, out of curiosity. This is a 4500-word article. How long did it take you to write it?

[yoopersmith]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

Thank you. I really liked this article. But how do you know that there will be people that accept you on the other side?

I'm here on the other side...JUMP! I'll catch you

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by yoopersmith

I'm here on the other side...JUMP! I'll catch you

haha thanks, glad to know there are accepting people around do you think there are such people as unconditionally accepting people? I think I am one, but I wonder if there are others that are truly unconditionally accepting? Cause People like that are just the best I think...just the best

[AlmostGodess]

Hello, Steve!

I am a long-time reader of your blog and I enjoyed and studied many of your articles. This one however, made me come out of my cocoon and acknowledge you as an incredibly wise person. I was simply smashed by this entry.

All my life I have been a little bit different when compared to my environment. I don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke and don’t take drugs. I never did actually. This was the reason why I felt very lonely during my adolescence. I was lonely and true to myself But suddenly things changed. Even if I am the same person and I still don’t drink, don’t smoke and don’t take drugs, people seem to genuinely like me for some qualities that I happen to possess. Nobody is surprised anymore when I drink tea during parties and when someone is teasing me, there will be plenty of people protecting me and explaining that I don’t drink

Thank you for your work!

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw

This is a particularly high quality article, it truly resonates with me. Awesome.

I gotta ask, out of curiosity. This is a 4500-word article. How long did it take you to write it?

I wrote the first draft in the morning (2.5 hours), took a break to have lunch while Skyping with my g/f, and then edited it in the afternoon (2 hours), so about 4.5 hours total.

Normally I could write an article of this length in less than 4 hours, but I wanted to polish it a bit more, so I invested extra time in the editing.

Writing it was effortless. The ideas flowed very easily.