Steve pavlina seems to think really highly of himself

[smilodon]

Originally Posted by Rehemaworks

But just to add on to your argument. Allow me to pose this question? Who decides whether your traits are good or bad?

In my opinion, only you can decide that for yourself. Nothing is good or bad until we give it meaning.

[ANDRI]

First of all i would like to tell you that i was registered to the forums a few days ago. i never hear about steve pavlina or polyamory before until one day one friend of mine talk to me about this. My opinion regarding the article for polyamory is at the end we use this word 'polyamory' as excsuse in order to have sex with a lot of people. and i would like to tell to steve pavlina that polyamory is at the end all about sex. i don;t believe that there is emotional polyamory. you are in love with only one person, you want to pass your life with only one people. i have many friends not lovers. it is very stupid for me to call our need for sex polyamory. and i believe is very hypocrite to say to a person i love you i have very strong feelings for you but we have to experience our selves and meet other people.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

I agree with the arrogance part. And replace often with always.

Optimism is more than genuine self-esteem, I think. It's a mindset if 'from now on, things will get better'. Applicable to self and others. Pessimists seem to have a mindset of 'from now on, things will get worse'.

Being an optimist myself, I find it hard to understand the pessimists' mindset. What's in it for them? I'd love to hear from the pessimists among us.

That's a good question. I am more an optimist now, but I was a pessimist beforehand. I think the pesimists' mindset is actually about convincing oneself that we have no control over our lives, that one's fate is already sealed so why bother? Which is obviously not the case at all.

Optimism is more than genuine self-esteem, I think.

I like that line

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Being an optimist myself, I find it hard to understand the pessimists' mindset. What's in it for them? I'd love to hear from the pessimists among us.

pessimism's all about protecting yourself from danger, i think..

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Angela
I don't think you're not the person who wouldn't not be unlike the non-person I would love, if it wasn't you.

Unc, you have a Beautiful Mind.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by Angela

Unc, you have a Beautiful Mind.

Are you saying Unc is as loony as John Nash?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Are you saying Unc is as loony as John Nash?

She sees patterns. She's a genius.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by Angela

She sees patterns. She's a genius.

John Nash saw patterns allright. He also saw people who weren't there.

Great movie BTW, recommended!

[Angela]

Well, she sees US, and we aren't all there.

[Mikahcho]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Essentially you aren't allowed to behave like a jackass. If you want to disagree with my posts or ideas or with anyone else's ideas, feel free. But if you just want to be a jerk and treat me or anyone else here with disrespect, your account will be closed.

I don't see how the OP was disrespectful. She pointed something out- Infact, something you may be able to take into account about your behaviour, to become a better person. You can always become a better person. I'm not attacking you, in fact, I've never read any of your material. The only reason I'm on this forum is to post as helpfully as I can to give others advice, whilst expecting the same when I run into a dilemma. So I don't know whether you're full of yourself, or full of it, but to me, she didn't seem disrespectful.

Sometimes people come here with a personal grudge against me and do stupid stuff to try to mess with the community. Such people get themselves banned since they're only here to behave like asses and not to contribute.

I think this topic has opened up quite a good conversation, didn't seem like she was trying to express a grudge. Reading her posts, she does mention that she's somewhat a fan of yours, or atleast interested in you, positively. She's been reading your blog since 2006, that's four years, four years of dedication, I'd say. If she wanted to intentionally attack you, she had 4 years to do so.

I don't know why the OP was banned. I didn't do the banning, but I can guess it was due to stupid trolling. I certainly don't get the sense that the OP was here to get help and/or contribute to this community, so it doesn't surprise me that s/he ended up getting banned by a moderator. The mods are very good at pulling out the weeds.

I don't want to seem like I'm shooting straight at you, I understand that it wasn't you that decided to ban her, but the way she was banned was wrong. I've been a mod on various forums, and there is a proper procedure. You can pull out everything in the garden and you'd be good at pulling out the weeds.

The general way to deal with something like this is for the moderator to make a post explaining why the topic will be locked, locking it and then pming the OP to explain what he/she did wrong. After recieving a reply, the situation and their reasoning is assessed. At most, if they understand their mistake and apologize, they could be given a warning.

Atleast that's the way it worked on every other forum I've been a moderator on. And every other forum I've been a part of.

This method of just blocking the poster and leaving the topic open seems to be lazy, unsympathetic and, to put it bluntly, rather annoying.

The OP has made a blog post about it too:

Steve Pavlina banned me from his forum!! |APrettyLife

I know I'll probably be blocked for saying all that, but I do think of it as unfair. I've dealt with A LOT worse than this kind of post, and didn't have to react so harshly.
Blocking this account would be rather annoying... I use the name Mikahcho for everything... It'd be a shame to have ot come back under a new name.

I also read that people who get blocked can come back under a new name? Doesn't this make banning an ineffective way of getting rid of haters? Why not ban via the IP address? Though the individual can use a proxy to get past that ban, it'd be a lot more hassle than just creating a new account.

*Prepares To Be Banned*

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Mikahcho

*Prepares To Be Banned*

If you'd really like to go, just stop using your account. No need to be passive-aggressive about it.

This blog post very thoroughly explains how this (and many other) online communities work:
Free Speech in Online Communities: The Delusion of Entitlement

If you still think it's unfair after reading the above, then you may want to reconsider whether or not it makes sense to participate in such a community.

In any event, I think it's best to close the thread so it doesn't devolve any further.