Broadcast Your Desires (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Broadcast Your Desires

[Beuford]

I knew this post would help me, because this thread was up not even 1 minute after I came online. I tend to keep my desires hidden from people in real life, but I can see how much it could help if they knew what I was doing.

[bright]

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

[James81]

We’ve shared many laughs about them, like the commenter that posted, “I just threw up in my mouth.”

LOL

I could swear that was me, but I can't seem to find the thread where I said that.

This post kinda rings home to me now, because I've been debating about starting a new website (one with a more proactive approach at making money instead of just a place to house all my thoughts and growth) lately and kickstart a career in freelance writing.

Thing is, a lot of people advise someone building a site to that end to make the domain name your own full name to build up your name. But something about that, uh, scares the hell out of me. It's hard for me not to want to hide behind a small modicum of anonymity...even though I know that nobody is ever REALLY anonymous on the net.

There's a block there that keeps me from going down that path toward sharing who I am with the people I know personally.

[Beuford]

Originally Posted by James81

Thing is, a lot of people advise someone building a site to that end to make the domain name your own full name to build up your name.

That's a great idea and saves thinking of a good domain name, but my problem with that is that hardly anyone would say my last name correctly, or remember the exact spelling.

[Melchior]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

And most likely some of the people in your life will reject your new direction. For whatever reason they won’t be able to accept it. They may react with sarcasm, criticism, or other forms of non-support. This is actually beneficial to you because these people are revealing that their presence in your social circle is incongruent with your new direction, so now you know where you’ll need to make some cuts. It doesn’t matter if they’re friends or family members — they’re making it clear that they can’t accept your new direction and that they’re unwilling to support you on this journey. It’s generally a waste of time to try to convince them, so don’t get clingy. Simply let go, and drop the unnecessary drag on your forward momentum. Say to such people, “I understand that you can’t accept my new direction, but I’m doing this anyway, so if you’re going to oppose me in this, then I’m going to have to drop you from my life. Either you learn to accept this part of me, or we’ll have to each go our separate ways and let go with love, okay?”

Why do you believe this to be the case and correct course of action for it?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Beuford

That's a great idea and saves thinking of a good domain name, but my problem with that is that hardly anyone would say my last name correctly, or remember the exact spelling.

Arnold could have used that same LAME excuse.

Btw I just walked over his star on Hollywood Blvd today.

I'm sure your life would be much easier if your name was John Smith.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by bright

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

Well, I didn't really think people would want to read an article about your hand.

[dendennz]

I don't get bright at all.

Steve IS helping us. He's giving us a completely different insight on how to attract a partner for a starter. There are so many people in the Social and Relationships part of this Forum who are desperately trying to figure out how to attract a partner. As much as I'm excited for Steve and Rachelle and how they found each other, I'm still interested in how they made the connection so strong before even meeting each other. It kind of gives hope to people who "meet" others over the internet/phone and what kind of behaviour to expect when you meet in person.

Steve is demonstrating this and I think it's helpful to others.

I don't need it right now (I'm hooked up with a cute guy that I'm married to) but I'll certainly make use of these ideas if I'm ever in the "market" again, and/or helping my single friends And being really clear about what you want is something I've been practising on hubby and well, let's just say it's having pay offs...

Bring it ON, Steve!!!

Cheers,

Jenny.

[cacheborn]

Good article.

I am beginning to realize that asking directly for what you want is the most efficient way of doing things. The main culprit is social conditioning, heaps and heaps of it piling over the centuries. It is refreshing to identify and break free of them.

Btw, there is a definite love vibe in the post.

[mmartin2009]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Well, I didn't really think people would want to read an article about your hand.

HAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This made my night! Thanks for the belly laugh!!!

[bright]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Well, I didn't really think people would want to read an article about your hand.

Charming. My point is, knowing that you have a g/f and are doing D/s is well and good in one post, but repeating it in every single post is a bit tiring. We already know that you're into D/s and when you started talking about it some people objected and there was some objection but the objection didn't matter and you're with a great girl now.. yadda yadda yadda. That story is just getting a bit old now. you've told it many times already.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by bright

Charming. My point is, knowing that you have a g/f and are doing D/s is well and good in one post, but repeating it in every single post is a bit tiring. We already know that you're into D/s and when you started talking about it some people objected and there was some objection but the objection didn't matter and you're with a great girl now.. yadda yadda yadda. That story is just getting a bit old now. you've told it many times already.

I'm sure I'll be done after 100 or so more posts on the subject. Question is: when will you choose to stop reading/complaining about someone else's sharing (esp. where there's a clear and obvious demand for it)... and finally start working on your own goals and dreams?

[Berrie]

Originally Posted by bright

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

I'm going to have to second that.

It's not mere annoyance that I feel, I get literally grossed out and can't keep reading, no matter how useful the article may be. I don't mean this in an offensive way, it's very similar to having to picture your father's sex life while reading something potentially useful.

Steve, are you still into helping people? Or is being self-centered more important now?

[NewSimon]

A nice post actually with something important take away. I think a lot of us are embarrassed about what we desire. I desire a life of swanning around the world enjoying clothes, high quality travel, accommodation, food and meeting interesting people, without the excersion of actual dull labour. How is this possible?

Is she a Canadian actress?

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by NewSimon

A nice post actually with something important take away. I think a lot of us are embarrassed about what we desire. I desire a life of swanning around the world enjoying clothes, high quality travel, accommodation, food and meeting interesting people, without the excersion of actual dull labour. How is this possible?

Is she a Canadian actress?

Know it is possible, and it is, believe, use LOA & you will move towards that! or have that! That's nothing to be embarrassed about. I doubt there is anyone that wants to do boring work, they do it to experience some of the things like you mention.

[shasah]

Originally Posted by Berrie

I'm going to have to second that.

It's not mere annoyance that I feel, I get literally grossed out and can't keep reading, no matter how useful the article may be. I don't mean this in an offensive way, it's very similar to having to picture your father's sex life while reading something potentially useful.

Steve, are you still into helping people? Or is being self-centered more important now?

IMO his article is helpful. What is wrong with adding a little personal insight? It's not as if he went into great detail or anything. Pot - kettle - black?? Meaning who is being self centered?

[Liz Caitlin]

Originally Posted by Berrie

I'm going to have to second that.

It's not mere annoyance that I feel, I get literally grossed out and can't keep reading, no matter how useful the article may be. I don't mean this in an offensive way, it's very similar to having to picture your father's sex life while reading something potentially useful.

Steve, are you still into helping people? Or is being self-centered more important now?

Can I just say I found this post highly amusing? It's not like I love thinking about my parents having sex, but as a mature adult I'm aware that a) my parents are sexual beings and b) if my parents didn't have sexual urges, I wouldn't exist. If my dad had a sex blog, I wouldn't read it, but I write about sex all the time on the web & if I ever had kids, I wouldn't stop because they might find it "gross". So in this case I can see the point the poster is trying to make, but it just kinda highlights their immaturity about sex even more in my opinion.

[brendannz]

My main goal this year, is to make a good sideline income doing the things I like doing.. (art, and some web design) and keep progressing so that next year I make more, and the year after I make more than that. I've told people about my art goals So yep, I am broadcasting my desires..

But guess I'm hiding some desires, I wanted to talk to that girl at my local sports bar in the weekend though, and all I managed to say was "Cool" and "awesome" out of context :-( She's even small talked to me, asking questions about basketball, in a
'just trying to make conversation' tone, so is definitely friendly enough to talk to, but didn't manage to, but I'll definitely return to that bar sometime, so there'll be another time..

Originally Posted by bright

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

I think there's probably quite a few people who don't want to read all about Steve's D/S blogs, (and a lot of people who do) but I also think, it's very easy to stop reading his blogs if you want to, he's not forcing you to read them... You could just say "ahh it's a D/S blog" and then hit the back key on your browser

[Liz Caitlin]

Originally Posted by brendannz

I think there's probably quite a few people who don't want to read all about Steve's D/S blogs, (and a lot of people who do) but I also think, it's very easy to stop reading his blogs if you want to, he's not forcing you to read them... You could just say "ahh it's a D/S blog" and then hit the back key on your browser

Exactly! Thank you. I don't get these people who ♥♥♥♥♥ about what Steve writes on his blog...it's HIS blog, people. And you guys call him self-centered...?

[Manomanman]

This is an interesting turn of events.

Rachelle was my roommate from CGW 1 and we both had unique growth experiences. When I asked her why she came to the CGW, she remarked, "Well, I have a lot in common with Steve. We're both raw vegan, etc. etc. and I think he's a cool guy." She was focused on Steve - I was focused on finding a direction in life. It's interesting how the different values that we reflect off of Steve motivate us to come to the workshop and continue down the paths we end up taking.

I was definitely surprised to see her on the cover of your blog

[todd65]

Originally Posted by bright

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

Yeah i agree,i think Steve has a lot of great things to say but the whole love life thing creeped me out.

[xtheist]

Re the love life info...it's great that Steve's so happy etc but he is rather coming across as a schoolboy who has just discovered sex for the first time.
I also do wonder if it's hurting Erin to hear such detail. Not a criticism but just thoughts that have crossed my mind. Perhaps it genuinely isn't which is great.

[Savage]

I only posted 5 blog entries in January, 3 of them D/s-related. And yet web traffic hit a new high that month at 9.1 million page views. The previous high was 8.5M page views, set in October 2009 when Erin and I announced our separation.

So despite any complaints to the contrary, the hard data coupled with other feedback shows that large numbers of people are interested in reading quite a bit about my personal life. Some may complain they don't want to read about it, and yet they still keep reading.

People who genuinely don't want to read about a topic simply stop reading. They don't read first and then complain about it, then read some more and complain some more. That would be silly.

The real agenda of those who complain tends to be that such topics make them personally uncomfortable because it sheds light on relationship issues they don't feel ready to deal with. So they attack the perceived source of those feelings as a coping mechanism. It's their way of distracting themselves from dealing with their own relationship challenges.

A better choice, if I may suggest one, is to journal about your true feelings. There's really no point in whining about my coverage of a topic that has such a clear and demonstrable demand. Turn your attention within, and get to work on your own love life... one that is perhaps languishing while you continue to feed your World of Warcraft addiction.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by xtheist

I also do wonder if it's hurting Erin to hear such detail. Not a criticism but just thoughts that have crossed my mind. Perhaps it genuinely isn't which is great.

You underestimate Erin's cadre of boy toys.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by todd65

Yeah i agree,i think Steve has a lot of great things to say but the whole love life thing creeped me out.

What else can I do to creep you out even more?

[Curtis2011]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

What else can I do to creep you out even more?

Show us a video demonstration for your next D/s blog post

[ursixx]

Originally Posted by todd65

Yeah i agree,i think Steve has a lot of great things to say but the whole love life thing creeped me out.

<Share your key goals with others. Let your friends and associates know what you desire to manifest or achieve, especially for desires that may come to you through your social circle. was the point with the blog and if he said he was addicted to the missionary postion and it was the greatest thing since...(insert great thing here).. it would be the same. The point is he broadcasted his desires.. I am going to retire when im 55 there is one of mine

[Happiness]

silly question...isn't Steve married to Erin anymore? did I miss something???

[smilodon]

Thanks for this post. Something I am working on gradually, and letting people know what is on your mind brings so much peace and freedom to me, while once I was worried of critics. Of course, I still have some desires to broadcast, but I know I'll get there.

Thanks again Steve

Originally Posted by James81

LOL



There's a block there that keeps me from going down that path toward sharing who I am with the people I know personally.

Well, start with sharing who you are here