Broadcast Your Desires (Blog)

[bright]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Well, I didn't really think people would want to read an article about your hand.

Charming. My point is, knowing that you have a g/f and are doing D/s is well and good in one post, but repeating it in every single post is a bit tiring. We already know that you're into D/s and when you started talking about it some people objected and there was some objection but the objection didn't matter and you're with a great girl now.. yadda yadda yadda. That story is just getting a bit old now. you've told it many times already.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

There's this inner fury that I've kept bottled up, at least so far in my man life.

Although Steve didn't explicitly say so in his article, I think he was talking about heart's desires, rather than impulses or lashings out, when he uses the word "desire."

Broadcasting your impulses and lashings-out, clearly, is not for smart people, unless, as MidasGirl hinted, you're willing to endure the likely and dire consequences.

Finding the difference, of course, would mean looking at what higher purpose would be served by your achieving your impulse/lashing-out. And, naturally, you can tell it's probably an I/L-O by the feelings you have of trying to get away from something, like fury or other strong negative emotion, rather than moving towards something; or if you have the knowledge that fulfilling your desire means real harm (not just emotional hurt or irritation) to another person.

This one seems like it's worth examining for your heart's desire, pronto, Plato!

[yoopersmith]

I would love to connect while you are both in LA for raw food.

Cheers!

[ogrekilleat]

"It’s hard to label our connection at this point[.]"

What happened to label-free relationships?

[Susie]

It seems to me that Steve is discovering in his late 30's sex/relationship concepts that most people have known since their early 20's. They are certainly things that I have long known as well as the vast majority of people I know. That said, I can respect that he is simply sharing what he has learned...late bloomer or not.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

LMAO.........That could land you in jail though. Are there ways you could channel that fury that do not involve kidnapping a human being?

Yeah, jail's no good. I definitely don't want to be a sub.

Originally Posted by Angela

I/L-O

What's taters precious? Po-ta-toes.

Yeah, I don't know what that is.
How do I direct this lovingly without blowing my emotional and mental circuits? I tried just now and nearly fell over.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

How do I direct this lovingly without blowing my emotional and mental circuits? I tried just now and nearly fell over.

What's your heart's desire, your higher purpose, that would be fulfilled if you were to express your fury and grab a woman and take her? What would you have then that would really satisfy, fulfill, and inspire you?

11:11

[Savage]

Originally Posted by yoopersmith

I would love to connect while you are both in LA for raw food.

Cheers!

Cesar is helping to arrange a meet-up on the beach for Sunday. You should have received an email about it.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by bright

Charming. My point is, knowing that you have a g/f and are doing D/s is well and good in one post, but repeating it in every single post is a bit tiring. We already know that you're into D/s and when you started talking about it some people objected and there was some objection but the objection didn't matter and you're with a great girl now.. yadda yadda yadda. That story is just getting a bit old now. you've told it many times already.

I'm sure I'll be done after 100 or so more posts on the subject. Question is: when will you choose to stop reading/complaining about someone else's sharing (esp. where there's a clear and obvious demand for it)... and finally start working on your own goals and dreams?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Angela

What's your heart's desire, your higher purpose, that would be fulfilled if you were to express your fury and grab a woman and take her? What would you have then that would really satisfy, fulfill, and inspire you?

11:11

I would feel like my direction had been honoured.

An insight tells me I fear assuming leadership and being ignored. Which upsets me because I'm supposed to be the leader of the tribe. I should be respected, loved, followed and full devotion given to me as leader.

Which leads me to a vision which is best expressed by (another) line from Lord of the Rings: "They will answer to the King of Gondor .... Put aside the ranger, become who you were born to be."

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

I'm supposed to be the leader of the tribe. I should be respected, loved, followed and full devotion given to me as leader.

Would raping a woman result in your being respected, loved, followed, and given full devotion as a leader?

Or is their a way that might work better?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Angela

Would raping a woman result in your being respected, loved, followed, and given full devotion as a leader?

Or is their a way that might work better?

That was insulting, Angela.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

That was insulting, Angela.

I'm very sorry; I did not mean to insult you, Plato. I only meant to ask if there's a better way to achieve the heart's desire -- your desire for respect, love, following, and full devotion as a leader -- that lays underneath your impulsive desire -- than by fulfilling the impulsive desire itself.

Some people might answer no -- the impulse is the best route.

But my point is that sometimes fulfilling the impulsive desire actually inhibits or prevents fulfillment of the true heart's desire. That's why I think it bears examination, when you're experiencing a desire that is motivated to get away from something, or if it would result in real harm to someone.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'm very sorry; I did not mean to insult you, Plato. I only meant to ask if there's a better way to achieve the heart's desire -- your desire for respect, love, following, and full devotion as a leader -- that lays underneath your impulsive desire -- than by fulfilling the impulsive desire itself.

OK.

And yes. Act like a leader to be treated like one.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

OK.

And yes. Act like a leader to be treated like one.

I think some people believe that acting brutally -- taking what you want, with a win/lose intention -- IS the key to being a leader. I'm thinking of some certain recent world politicians who have operated that way. Personally, I think operating with a win/win intention is more effective, but I recognize that not everyone agrees.

In any case, I'd recommend taking your next right action towards what you really want, rather than simply reacting away from what you don't want, because it tends to feel better.

[Zach M]

Originally Posted by Susie

It seems to me that Steve is discovering in his late 30's sex/relationship concepts that most people have known since their early 20's. They are certainly things that I have long known as well as the vast majority of people I know. That said, I can respect that he is simply sharing what he has learned...late bloomer or not.

Not everyone knows it, so Steve's perspective helps.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think some people believe that acting brutally -- taking what you want, with a win/lose intention -- IS the key to being a leader. I'm thinking of some certain recent world politicians who have operated that way. Personally, I think operating with a win/win intention is more effective, but I recognize that not everyone agrees.

In any case, I'd recommend taking your next right action towards what you really want, rather than simply reacting away from what you don't want, because it tends to feel better.

Right.

I can see that my (repressed) desire to take by force is driven by insecurity. I expect to be walked over or ignored if I'm not forceful or simply ask for what I want. That was my experience as a polite, reserved, slightly overwhelmed teenager. This "fury"/anger has only come to the surface recently.

I'm not sure what to do with it actually, but thanks anyway Angela.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by ogrekilleat

So saying you'd like to rape a woman isn't insulting (you may have skirted around the term, but a desire to rape is exactly what "I want to take her... whether she wants it or not." describes), but having someone confront you with the term is insulting? Which exactly connects with...

I'm a human being. I'm 10,000 years out of date, just like you. I have human emotions. That's not a choice.

Another feeling I had (temporarily) was feeling insulted by the insinuation that there's even the remotest possibility that I would act out these emotions. My issue is how to deal with it, without simply denying a part of myself.

Anyway, I'll stop hogging the damned thread now.

Buenas noches amigos.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Plato

Another feeling I had (temporarily) was feeling insulted by the insinuation that there's even the remotest possibility that I would act out these emotions. My issue is how to deal with it, without simply denying a part of myself.

I think you realize that there is no part of me that thinks there's the remotest possibility that you would do that, don't you? If you don't, please be assured of that now.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think you realize that there is no part of me that thinks there's the remotest possibility that you would do that, don't you? If you don't, please be assured of that now.

I act like a jerk on these forums, I couldn't really blame you. It's cool. This conversation has given me tremendous insight with some growing pains. Thank you.

[bright]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I'm sure I'll be done after 100 or so more posts on the subject. Question is: when will you choose to stop reading/complaining about someone else's sharing (esp. where there's a clear and obvious demand for it)... and finally start working on your own goals and dreams?

That is a good point, thanks for reminding me

[Liz Caitlin]

Originally Posted by Angela

Would raping a woman result in your being respected, loved, followed, and given full devotion as a leader?

Or is their a way that might work better?

Hey now, plenty of people have fantasies about "raping" or "taking" a woman. And lots of women have fantasies about being "taken" or "raped" - such as myself. If he were to do something like that in a consensual way with a woman, I would have no problem with that. I think being aggressive is a fairly common masculine desire. He just needs something to channel it.

BDSM FTW!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Liz Caitlin

Hey now, plenty of people have fantasies about "raping" or "taking" a woman. And lots of women have fantasies about being "taken" or "raped" - such as myself. If he were to do something like that in a consensual way with a woman, I would have no problem with that. I think being aggressive is a fairly common masculine desire. He just needs something to channel it.

BDSM FTW!

Hey, Liz, I think you're missing some context of that conversation. But that's ok; I think it's complete between me and Plato.

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by Plato

Yeah, jail's no good. I definitely don't want to be a sub.


What's taters precious? Po-ta-toes.

Yeah, I don't know what that is.
How do I direct this lovingly without blowing my emotional and mental circuits? I tried just now and nearly fell over.

Plato Go to Fetlife or some fetish social community site. There are girls that actually want to play out what you have in mind! Liz: "BDSM FTW!" ^ ^

[DBV]

I'm sharing my business and life aspirations freely on forums and somewhat freely on Facebook but in other parts of life I keep it quite. I am not sure it's because of insecurity OR just not wanting to be a bigmouth who says "I will do this, I will do that.. rah rah rah..". I want to talk about it when I have something to show for it, not just 'desire'..

Thnx for post Steve, I probably should be more open about my desires form now on...

[James81]

Originally Posted by Angela

Would raping a woman result in your being respected, loved, followed, and given full devotion as a leader?

Or is their a way that might work better?

That's the loopiest thing I've ever seen you post.

Originally Posted by Plato

OK.

And yes. Act like a leader to be treated like one.

I think a true leader knows how to follow. A leader doesn't stand up and demand respect from people. He gives respect and expects to be treated in the same way he treats those with whom he leads.

But really, if you want to be a leader in anything, be the guy that people come to when they have questions. That's pretty simple. If you know your **** and you get results in your life, people will naturally follow.

[Halffull]

Great post Steve, this is something I've been trying to get better at lately.

I find this is also a great way to find out if I'm in the right place... if I consistently find myself in situations where broadcasting my true desires will get me in trouble, it's time to change my lifestyle so that those situations are minimized.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by James81

That's the loopiest thing I've ever seen you post.

Are you kidding me? Not even close.

[cacheborn]

Again a little surprised about people complaining that Steve should not write about his personal life or d/s and so on.

First, Steve always writes about his personal life. Thats the whole reason why his insights are valuable. He tries them out and tells you the results. Remember raw-food experiments or polyphasic sleep? Sometimes, the topic is of your interest, sometimes it is not. If it is not of your interest, don't read it. Steve has 20 books worth free material on the blog. Go read what you find helpful.

When Steve was blogging about raw food experiments, I was not interested, so I skipped most of it. Now, when I am getting curious about raw food and have started conducting small experiments of my own, those posts will be of immense help to me. Same thing may happen to you.

[brendannz]

My main goal this year, is to make a good sideline income doing the things I like doing.. (art, and some web design) and keep progressing so that next year I make more, and the year after I make more than that. I've told people about my art goals So yep, I am broadcasting my desires..

But guess I'm hiding some desires, I wanted to talk to that girl at my local sports bar in the weekend though, and all I managed to say was "Cool" and "awesome" out of context :-( She's even small talked to me, asking questions about basketball, in a
'just trying to make conversation' tone, so is definitely friendly enough to talk to, but didn't manage to, but I'll definitely return to that bar sometime, so there'll be another time..

Originally Posted by bright

I'm starting to get a bit tired of all these posts about D/s and steve's personal life. Its great that you're enjoying your life and have found a good partner steve, but we'd like to read about things that can help us with our lives, we're not that interested in your personal romantic life.

I think there's probably quite a few people who don't want to read all about Steve's D/S blogs, (and a lot of people who do) but I also think, it's very easy to stop reading his blogs if you want to, he's not forcing you to read them... You could just say "ahh it's a D/S blog" and then hit the back key on your browser