[Adult] 2010 Focus (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

2010 Focus

[supertom]

I have pictures of steve in my head that i never thought i would have... hahaha

The topic is something i have thought about before but i didn't know how to approach it consciously, i always thought of it something that reduces consciousness.

its not related but I think this will get people to look at light/darkworker concept a bit differently now

[nutella2]

Hi Steve,
A book I recently read which I think resonates with what you write about relationship dynamics (particularly powerplay elements) is Mating In Captivity by Esther Perrel. Actually it's about long-term/domestic relationships but that shouldn't put anyone off as more importantly it's about desire.

Really recommend it!
Happy new year!!

[Elfwing]

Wow, Steve. You sure have guts to post this, but I expected something more out there. When you said on Twitter you were going to write something controversial again I half expected you to have taken up puppy-kicking.

That said - thanks for sharing that. I actually learned some things about myself with that article, as well - I'd thought of myself as a sub, but then, I'd never done much research on it either, and now I realise that I'm different to what I'd thought I was.

Have a fun year.

[oscardelben]

Congrats for posting that. I am attracted by those practices so no criticism here.

[Felipe]

Why would you tweet about D/s if you weren't looking into it?

This is going to be interesting to follow, good luck!

[Michelle]

I just want to wish you much joy, intensity, growth and fun as you explore and fulfill both of your primary focuses in 2010.

[The Rock]

Are you sure you aren't masochistic? You have a knack of writing posts that you know will bury you with criticism and maybe even cause you to lose friends

As an aside, I knew you were going to write about this topic after you mentioned that BDSM stat on twitter...

Too bad it doesn't interest me at this stage. I'll miss the info-crack

PS: When are you writing that 50,000 word post titled "How to Write 20,000 Word Posts Without Dropping Dead & Becoming a Zombie"

[cacheborn]

Wow! Cool article, Steve.

First, I think this post is a demonstration for the clarity post, mainly in the professional part. One could cite it as an example. I think it's a wonderful idea to pursue your own products. Judging by the huge popularity of the blog/podcasts, I am sure they will be very popular.

Second part was quite interesting. I have never looked at the whole BDSM thing from growth perspective. Checking the list I found that I actually liked certain aspects of the D side, something to note for future reference. It would be interesting to read about your experiences. Even if specific details cannot be revealed, blog posts on how it relates to personal growth would be most welcome.

Finally, I applaud your courage and honesty in going public about it. I wish you the very best in your pursuits for 2010.

[Beuford]

If we made a poll to see who was in to BDSM, I'm sure the results would surprise some.

[MaciekBielecki]

BDSM, eh? I never pictured Steve as the type. I'm not into it myself, although I feel the same about the GM part and creating pleasure for others so maybe I should try it as well. Hmm... Anyway I'll be reading closely how it turns out for you Steve so have fun!

[oscardelben]

Originally Posted by Beuford

If we made a poll to see who was in to BDSM, I'm sure the results would surprise some.

Done

[Jerigan]

It's been a while since one of your posts made me laugh out loud. As soon as I saw the letters "BDSM" it just kind of erupted out of me. It was a good laugh though, I'm happy for you. All the best wishes for you and your mystery partner.

[Henri J]

Originally Posted by supertom

I have pictures of steve in my head that i never thought i would have.

Agreed on that.

On a more serious note though, this is some cool stuff, Steve. Although I'm not as far along the path as you are in the relationship arena, I feel like something is up and I'd definitely be interested in reading more about your adventures.

[Scorpio]

When you talked about wanting to do the direct sales thing, my first thought was, "Please don't turn into one of those guys who puts out 15 different 11-DVD sets"

I guess you write about such a range of topics that you'd be more justified in it than most. It's just that thinking over other people who do this kind of thing, it's like there's this magic line in my head, and once someone has put out one too many products I just think, "Okay, this is getting ridiculous" and I totally turn off them."


The whole D/s thing doesn't interest me as a blog topic much just because it seems so personal. Though if you could write about it in a way that brings up a lot of broader insights about personal growth, maybe it could be good.

[Starbuck]

Maybe the Law of Attraction is already working for me? It was just a few weeks ago that I finally decided to join this forum, because I want to become an independent web-entrepreneur, with an endgoal of selling my own products directly. And now Steve has decided the same! (Selling more products, not becoming independent!)

Wow ...that was a quick LoA synchronicity! :-)

But seriously, I love that decision and having followed Steve for some years now, I can only say that it also feels natural.

As for special sexual adventures - really, you Americans take all that far too seriously. :-) By all means, go have fun!

P.S. As a gamemaster myself with some 20 years of experience in roleplaying for various settings and genres, I must admit I found the analogy between BDSM and gamemastering rather amusing. Maybe I should share that with my players next time we meet for an adventure in Middle-earth. "Well, guys, I've been meaning to tell you: the reason I really love to maim and kill your characters every second session is ... "

:-)

[ellie]

The character of Christian Troy on Nip Tuck was a little bit like this And I love Nip Tuck - he he!

I don't get the whole control thing myself, but whatever floats your boat.

I do wonder though, are women that are submissive like this in the bedroom like this in day-to-day life too? I would be interested to know what the personality types are of these types of women.

I do however feel like your constantly searching for some new high Steve, I understand that's what PD is all about...but it kind of seems like you keep on searching for the next big thing that's going to give you that "high" but it never seems to reach that "high" you hoped for. Is it just that you constantly evolving or could there more to it?

[Speedbump]

While I am not particularly interested in BDSM itself, I *am* interested in the articles you will write based on your experiences. Why? Past experience shows it has value. I had no expectation that anything you wrote involving polyamory would be helpful or interesting, and yet some of it was. So I intend to make a little more popcorn and read with an open mind, even if I'm or while doing so.

Speedy

[staceyterry]

"As you wish" !!!

[aelle]

Originally Posted by ellie

I do wonder though, are women that are submissive like this in the bedroom like this in day-to-day life too? I would be interested to know what the personality types are of these types of women.

There's no real correlation. If anything, people who are able to engage consciously and consensually into these power games are often more aware, more grounded in their lives, more in charge than the average.

Since you want to hear about your readers' reaction to the article, I say "cool". I am not interested in the topic myself (right now I focus on exploring the opposite actually, having heterosexual relationships completely stripped off their power games, both conscious and socially conditionned). I am BDSM friendly, though, by which I mean that any relationship pattern involving willing adults gets my thumbs up. Let's see what you'll have to say about the journey

[Zukin]

Cool blog post, Steve - I wish you the best of success on both your business goal and personal goal for 2010.

[seeker5]

Hah Steve .

A few days ago I was wondering what your new focus would be. You shocked people with going Raw Food, you shocked people even more with the Polyamorous stuff, and I was wondering, what possibly could be as or more shocking than that? The only thing I felt would be something about sex.

So, it's quite funny that I then read that a big focus of your new year is related to sex!

Wish you the best with both of your focuses

[laur_454]

Wow Steve ~ mostly positive feedback so far... But I figured most everyone on this forum would be open minded. When you said you were writing something controversial on Twitter, I figured it would be relationship related...

So, I've been a loyal reader for several years, and have found your articles and blog entries to often be a catalyst for change in my life. I've referred so many people to your site, and many agree that it's often hard to tear one's self away from. I don't comment much on the forums, but this article made me want to share...

I'm not at all into BDSM... I have never condsidered it, been turned on by it, or sought it out at all. Having said that, if it turns you on, I say more power to you. But you did mention somewhere in the article, if this was what your readers wanted to read about, you'd like such feedback. Personally, I cannot relate to this whole BDSM thing. I can relate to relationships, your label free intimacy, and etc... But this whole concept isn't part of my life and I can't foresee that it will be (but hey who knows?). And so I do just want to throw out there that I much prefer to read about goal achievment, clarity, polarity, subjective reality, law of attraction, and etc... That's what first led me to your site and that's what keeps me coming back. Though it seems that quite a few of your readers have thought about entering this BDSM lifestyle, I would imagine that a great deal more of them haven't.

What I was hoping for was an update on your new relationship with Erin. How the friendship has developed, how she's doing, and how the kids are doing... I think a lot of people (especially divorcees and children of divorce) would be interested to know what type of model you two are using.

Anyways, thanks for always keeping things fresh and interesting and best of the best for you and your family in 2010.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by laur_454

What I was hoping for was an update on your new relationship with Erin. How the friendship has developed, how she's doing, and how the kids are doing... I think a lot of people (especially divorcees and children of divorce) would be interested to know what type of model you two are using.

Oh yeah, that'd be great. What relationships can evolve into post conscious break-up.

[Rose of Cairo]

Steve, since you want some feedback: this topic is not interesting to me personally. Been there, done that. This kind of sex is something I am moving away from at the moment. But of course it's cool you're exploring your sexuality. More power to you!

[Trezker]

Woow, you really surprised me. I did not see BDSM coming...
At first I wondered how you could possibly be interested in this. I thought D/s must surely be a darkworker thing... Why would Steve support submissive behaviour?

But then some ideas of possibilites in other areas of life started flowing in. I think D/s is a very deep subject if you explore it. Just think of it as a matter of balance, Yin Yang and all that. Strength/Yielding, Commanding/Following, Dancing, Goals and intentions vs flowing and taking action.
In all areas of life you have to take command/make decisions regularly and then submit to following your orders.

So if you think of it like that and bring up Oneness you realise that you and your partner in D/s are not separate beings. You are one, and your bodies take on the roles of Yin and Yang separately for a time.

[pjhaggerty]

This blog never ceases to amaze. Steve, I have to say I admire your courage, even if I'm not into the whole BDSM thing at the moment. I would encourage you to keep posting about it. People who aren't interested can just skip over it. Just keep posting on other stuff too.

[Erinn]

BSDM is not going to turn me away from reading your blog, but I felt no interest when reading the role descriptions. Doesn't mean I'll always feel that way. But right now, it's not for me. I AM, however, interested in your career focus.

[Alfonso Crawford]

What in the world happened here? Stevie's going into sales, so y'all think that kinky whips-and-chains stuff!

Giggity.

Anyway; good on ya, kiddo: it's not as mind-blowing as I expected, but I suppose, considering my standards, that's a good thing. Uh, are you going to be selling fetish-gear? is that how BDSM came into this? I just skimmed through the thread to say "cheers."

[Adrienne]

I saw BDSM coming esp the D/s part becuase of a twitter post Steve made a few days ago.
I always thought that the numbers of 5-10 percent of people engage in BSDM were rather low becuase almost everyone i know is into it, but then again, since i am into it, it makes sense that that some of the people i know are into.

You know what is hard to find? Good D/s gear that is vegan!
I love being a sub because i love doing things for people that make them happy, and i love that they dont *****-foot around telling me what they want making it so i have to guess.
Well congratulations Steve. I especially love that you are going this becuase i hope it will bring out more people who are poly, vegan/raw, into BDSM, and love to grow. None of my BDSM friends are raw/vegan but a few of them are poly, but most aren't into PD at all.

Adrienne