Gratitude (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Gratitude

[John Wesley]

Interesting way of considering the link between gratitude and achieving success. I think this relationship is one of the reasons why becoming wealthy can be so difficult. We originally want to be wealthy because we're dissatisfied with our lives. In this state we're the opposite of grateful, making it very hard to attract success. When you're feeling a lot phase 2 gratitude, people can sense the positive energy radiating out of you and want to help you succeed.

One problem with this is that it's very hard to control your feelings. You're either grateful or not, I don't think it's a choice, and this oscillates back and forth.

[TeroMiettunen.com]

Perhaps the main reason it took you 10 years is really not that it took you so long to come up with the Level 2 idea, but that your external circumstances had to change to be good enough before you could feel grateful for everything.

Anyway I'm going to try it although I haven't even tried Level 1 yet.

[Iamsuperman]

Awesome blog, interesting paradigm!!!
One quick question - Won't being grateful for failures, people who treat you unkindly, etc. attract more of these? How can you be grateful for it but not be attracting it?

[Matthew Shea]

Originally Posted by Iamsuperman

Awesome blog, interesting paradigm!!!
One quick question - Won't being grateful for failures, people who treat you unkindly, etc. attract more of these? How can you be grateful for it but not be attracting it?

I think just the opposite: you will attract less failures by being grateful for them. The key is to treat each failure as a growth experience so you don't repeat your mistakes. In other words, you're more grateful for the lesson learned than for the fact you failed. You should be grateful for the failure, too, being that it was the vehicle for the growth you achieved, but your focus should be more on the lessons/growth.

[TheColonel]

I'd like to add that the level of intensity in your gratitude is also a factor.

For example, I'm grateful when somebody cares enough what I think to ask my opinion about something. I might even say "I appreciate your asking...." But then again, I might not. But I still feel good for a brief moment that my opinion matters. Tomorrow - or even later tonight - I won't give it a second thought.

Now let's pretend someone just pulled my son from a burning building, saving his life. The intensity level of my gratitude would be indescribable. My feelings of gratitude towards that person would override just about any other thoughts that I could entertain.

He/She owes me money? Forget about it.
He/she never returned my chainsaw? Keep it.
He/She needs to borrow money? How much and how soon?

Pure, sincere, joyful, exhuberant gratitude has given me the most success with the LoA and life in general.

If I go down the list of level 1 gratitude, and give pure and joyful thanks with a high level of intensity, I speculate that I would come out better than if I went down the level II list and offered only mild appreciation for those things. Maybe I'll try it and see...

[Adam]

I have actually noticed this quite a bit in my own life, with the exception of using one word.

Instead of gratitude, I use the word love.

Looking at the two lists, it's pretty easy to be grateful for all of the first list, but it is a bit different to actually love them. I can be grateful for a roof over my head, but do I actually love my apartment? I can be grateful for my 'stuff,' but do I love it? Of course I love my health, relationships, family, and skills, but what of the other 'Level 1' items?

Perhaps as a bridge from level 1 to level 2, we can work on having love rather than simply having gratitude for that first list...

Once we have passed that bridge, going to level 2 is much easier. If I love everything in the Level 1 list, then it is easy to look inward and be thankful for my life. If I can look at my budget apartment and feel love for it, well, honestly, there isn't much else in the universe that I can't also at least be thankful for, even if it is someone else's possessions. Can I be thankful for time and space when I love the car that I use to travel through them both? (Yes, my car is a time machine... Unfortunately, I haven't found reverse or second gear for time yet. ) If I love my skills, it is incredibly easy to appreciate the ideas and concepts that help me to hone my skills.

I have adopted the definition for Peace as being a love for everything... My life purpose is to bring peace to everybody... If we could extend our gratitude just a bit further into love, then I know that we can find peace.

[alexb5784]

I was just thinking the same thing as Iamsuperman. Thanks for clearing that up, Matthew.

[Matthew Shea]

I think you really hit the nail on the head here, Steve. It truly is better to be grateful despite life's circumstances than to be grateful because of them. I'll draw an analogy to how I was taught that you should be kind to and pray for even those who are your enemies (turn the other cheek, so to speak). This is certainly a circumstance where gratitude can help you distinguish the underlying reasons behind a situation where someone is working against you in a much better way than if you simply look at them as your enemy. That way, you can possibly achieve a much better resolution. At the very least, you'll grow yourself and become a better person.

Anyway, great article. This makes complete sense and is truly something I intend to keep in mind.

[Nicolle]

Originally Posted by John Wesley

One problem with this is that it's very hard to control your feelings. You're either grateful or not, I don't think it's a choice, and this oscillates back and forth.

I think the kind of gratitude Steve is talking about transcends feelings. I can feel sad and still choose to be grateful for the experience. What you're talking about is exactly what he said level 1 gratitude is: circumstance-dependent.

[qiflow]

Originally Posted by John Wesley

Interesting way of considering the link between gratitude and achieving success. I think this relationship is one of the reasons why becoming wealthy can be so difficult. We originally want to be wealthy because we're dissatisfied with our lives. In this state we're the opposite of grateful, making it very hard to attract success. When you're feeling a lot phase 2 gratitude, people can sense the positive energy radiating out of you and want to help you succeed.

One problem with this is that it's very hard to control your feelings. You're either grateful or not, I don't think it's a choice, and this oscillates back and forth.

Hi John,

Your feelings are very difficult to control. However, you can direct your thoughts, and over time, this affects your feelings. There is a link between habitual thoughts and emotions. This is talked about a lot in the works of cognitive therapy.

[Jeremy Bennett]

As well, this is timely...
Recently, I received a cookbook on Zen Temple food - (it could be described as vegan japanese, if you want to put it in a box - though none of us would do that

... the most important thing, though, is the philosophy, which in part, includes the 5 reflections, (which you can find in other parts of the world in the buddhist tradition as well, I believe)

(Paraphrased from memory; i was running over this in my head on the way to work today)

1. May I reflect on where this food came from, the hands it has passed through, and those that prepared it.

2. Let me reflect on my imperfections, and whether I am worthy of this food.

3. Let me put aside all preferences and greed, and

4. Consider this food to be an effective medicine, to maintain the health of
my body and spirit

5. That it may help me in my work towards enlightenment.
(or for the work that God has for me - if that's more comfortable for you)

I want to practice this for a month (at least ) - I have found that this is more effective in my feeling thankful for my food, as well as my attitude towards what I choose to eat, than just a "standard" prayer which has been my practice for most of my life up until now.

Blessings!

[ccSteve]

Wonderful article, thank you for saying it that way.

One of my recent prayers / meditations:

Thank you for another day,
another meal;
Thank you for another breath,
another heartbeat;
Thank you for another moment,
another thought;
May my thoughts always be with you.

steve
Timely Insights on the Net - Devoted to exploring the nature of human life in our times.

[cgs]

Another way to sum it up for me is:

Be grateful for change. Take gratitude in the impermanent.

I think its wonderful to be grateful for things in level 1, but remember that they too, will pass.

[Jeanm3]

I believe that there is great power in synchronicity.

Good example is your blog on Gratitude. Just one minute before I saw your blog for the first time, I was typing a quotation into my list of saved quotes:

"Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. Northrup Christiane .

Wow! That's exactly what Steve was saying!

Anyone heard of Northup Christiane?

[Paul C]

I am grateful for this post Steve has produced and the members on this forum discussing the post.

Seeing gratitude in such a new light has affected me in a meaningful way. It strung many thoughts together concerning this area. It feels as if the world has taken on a brighter, sharper detail. Which should serve me well concerning art.

Thank you everyone.

[Rob S]

Hi Steve,

Great Blog. I felt it click inside of me as I read it. Progress was made today

I have a question related to this, you spoke about how gratitude is essential for the LoA, which I agree. I also see you have posted several blogs over the last little while discussing how to become a vibration match for your desires. My question is how can we explain when people who have no gratitude, always worry and are fearful, complain about debt, their job and relationships win the lottery (Or suddenly come into large amounts of money through other means)? I don't know how many times I have heard lottery winners say "I have so much debt and constantly worry about how will make my bill payments. Now I can finally be debt free". Or sick people who focus on their pain, suffering and desease and then suddenly become healthy again (without any change in medication or surgery etc). I knew a man once, a neighbour, who was not grateful for anything he had and complained day and night about what little he had and cursed his own life. He then won a wack of money on the lottery. Should the law of attraction not bring these people more of what they already have? I see how hard you are working to become a vibrational match for the $1 million, and yet these other people, working directly in the opposite direction somehow become a vibrational match for their desire to win the lottery?

I've seen the LoA work for me and I see it work for many others (who are not even aware of the LoA in their lives, but are constantly attracting exactly what they are putting out to the universe). I just can't seem to understand these other cases where ungrateful, complaining, whining, fearful people attract their desires overnight. Is there an explanation for this?

Thank you Steve for YOUR purpose in life <That's on my level 2 gratitude list>

Rob

[Frans]

Originally Posted by Rob S

My question is how can we explain when people who have no gratitude, always worry and are fearful, complain about debt, their job and relationships win the lottery (Or suddenly come into large amounts of money through other means)? I don't know how many times I have heard lottery winners say "I have so much debt and constantly worry about how will make my bill payments. Now I can finally be debt free". Or sick people who focus on their pain, suffering and desease and then suddenly become healthy again (without any change in medication or surgery etc). I knew a man once, a neighbour, who was not grateful for anything he had and complained day and night about what little he had and cursed his own life. He then won a wack of money on the lottery. Should the law of attraction not bring these people more of what they already have? I see how hard you are working to become a vibrational match for the $1 million, and yet these other people, working directly in the opposite direction somehow become a vibrational match for their desire to win the lottery?

I've seen the LoA work for me and I see it work for many others (who are not even aware of the LoA in their lives, but are constantly attracting exactly what they are putting out to the universe). I just can't seem to understand these other cases where ungrateful, complaining, whining, fearful people attract their desires overnight. Is there an explanation for this?

Great question, Rob. I suggest to start a new thread about this on the Intention-Manifestation forum.

[thijsvdanker]

@Bob

I think it has to do with the original goal that Steve set. The million dollar is not the goal in itself, being able to ecplain the LOA to others and have them experience it is. So the fact that Steve earns his million gradually gives him the opportunity to explain the process to us. If he'd won the lottery, al he could tell us is to buy the right ticket?

The other part of your question is what really interests me. Why do some people for whom the LOA shouldn't have brought the "good stuff" receive it anyway, and why do people who (in my opinion) live the live by more positive intentions get struck by deceases or other horrible events?

[Love]

I still don't understand how to be grateful for something bad. I can understand, maybe you're grateful to have learned a lesson, and maybe you're grateful that you have the options and choice and life that brought you into the bad situation to begin with, but I'm confused as to how to actually be grateful for the bad thing itself.
For example: a broken car. I'm grateful to know that I need to take better care of cars. I'm grateful I'm in life in the first place and can make my own decisions.
But how to be grateful for the broken car itself?

[Dave Kaminski]

Originally Posted by Love

I still don't understand how to be grateful for something bad. I can understand, maybe you're grateful to have learned a lesson, and maybe you're grateful that you have the options and choice and life that brought you into the bad situation to begin with, but I'm confused as to how to actually be grateful for the bad thing itself.
For example: a broken car. I'm grateful to know that I need to take better care of cars. I'm grateful I'm in life in the first place and can make my own decisions.
But how to be grateful for the broken car itself?

Be grateful of the fact that you had a car in the first place, or that you have a broken car. Not everyone has these assets.

Be grateful that you'll take better care of your cars in the future and that your car didn't hurt you when it broke. Be grateful that there are people out there who can fix cars and be grateful that things can even break! Just be grateful of the experience of having a broken car. You never know, you could meet someone at the mechanic's or find a new job while you're there or you might've avoided a fatal car accident while it was broken.

Just be grateful. Fully.

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Dave Kaminski

Be grateful of the fact that you had a car in the first place, or that you have a broken car. Not everyone has these assets.

Be grateful that you'll take better care of your cars in the future and that your car didn't hurt you when it broke. Be grateful that there are people out there who can fix cars and be grateful that things can even break! Just be grateful of the experience of having a broken car. You never know, you could meet someone at the mechanic's or find a new job while you're there or you might've avoided a fatal car accident while it was broken.

Just be grateful. Fully.

Completely agreed. You beat me to that explanation Dave I was thinking the same thing. There is always something to be grateful for.. Because everything is worth being grateful for. Sometime it is a little harder to see, but it is there.

[Antemeridian]

As a new reader of the forums, and a relatively new reader of the blog (other than the polyphasic sleep series which I stumbled across a few months back, and found EXTREMELY interesting), perhaps this is just because I'm new, but I just had a quick question regarding this post.

Basically, are we supposed to feel grateful for the event/item/person/etc. itself, or are we supposed to look for the underlying lesson/etc. behind that reason of gratefulness?

I've been trying this lately, but I've been wondering that if I try to look to the deeper meaning of everything, does that turn potential level 2 gratitude into level 1 gratitude, because I'm trying to find the positive in it? Or is that the point, that by being grateful for everything, including negatives, things generally become more positive, or we can see the positive in a situation far easier?

Thanks in advance!

[qiflow]

Originally Posted by Love

I still don't understand how to be grateful for something bad. I can understand, maybe you're grateful to have learned a lesson, and maybe you're grateful that you have the options and choice and life that brought you into the bad situation to begin with, but I'm confused as to how to actually be grateful for the bad thing itself.
For example: a broken car. I'm grateful to know that I need to take better care of cars. I'm grateful I'm in life in the first place and can make my own decisions.
But how to be grateful for the broken car itself?

Just be grateful for the bad for whatever lessons you were able to learn from it.

[eternomi]

Originally Posted by Love

I still don't understand how to be grateful for something bad.

First of all, "bad" is a relative description. It is the meaning you give to something based on your perspective. What is bad right now, might not look so bad later on...

For me, L2 gratitude means that no matter what shows up, it is what I need to move onto the next step in the process of growth. The relative 'good's and 'bad's are judgments based on what I know at a particular moment along the path, but ultimately what shows up is perfect when viewed from the highest global level (which would require seeing the unfoldment of all the events in the past, present and future).

Ultimately, gratitude is the transcendence from the duality of 'good/bad' to the singularity of the understanding that both are required to experience either. The push and pull of what we label as 'good' and 'bad' is what gives us the thrust to move forward.

If you take this one step further with S/R, what shows up is what you need to experience the beliefs you are holding. If you are in control of your beliefs, then gratitude becomes even easier. At this point, gratitude is the same as acceptance. The acceptance and gratitude that what shows up is exactly what you need to see the animation of your beliefs as your reality.

[dhammapal]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

(Level 2) gratitude is synonymous with unconditional love because there is no attachment to circumstances or outcomes.

I’m interested in making this a meditation practice, feeling gratitude for other people unconditionally whether they are still alive or not (e.g. Buddha)

[Marierama]

For quite some time now I have practiced giving thanks for five things in my life. I do this every morning and every evening. Often in the evening, just before I fall asleep, I recall synchronicities that may have happened during the day, small miracles that draw me back to a state of awareness, of being in the present moment.

This being said, there is another aspect of gratitude that really works for me. If I find myself with negative or angry or unproductive thoughts and feelings, as soon as I become aware of them, (I become the Observer), I cut those thoughts at the base, as it were, by once again giving thanks for five wonderful things in my life.

Because I am used to naming what I am grateful for, this is a sure way to change my negative state immediately. One cannot be angry or frustrated or upset and be truly grateful at the same time.

Gratitude is a powerful tool.

[Savage]

How can we be grateful for seemingly negative experiences?

By recognizing that the source of our greatest pain is also the source of our greatest joy. It is the shifting between positive and negative polarities that makes life such a wonderful adventure. There would be no sweetness to life without bitterness.

The more pain we transcend, the stronger we become, and the greater our capacity for unconditional love.

[DanielBrenton]

I'd have to call "Level 1" gratitude "fair weather" gratitude.

I think one of the real drivers to get to "Level 2" gratitude is what Morris Massey called "Significant Emotional Experiences." TheColonel alluded to that above. When you survive a traumatic experience and can gain a perspective because of it, you're there.

And, yes, I have written about deeper gratitude quite a bit. September 11 was a traumatic experience for most Americans, and some learned gratitude from it. Personally, I walked away from a fatal auto accident pretty much unscathed which gave me a lasting perspective.

Not that a person would have to come through a traumatic experience to get there, but if the person has and didn't, well, I don't know if there's much more that can be done ...

[Reyv]

Gratitude L2 feeeels goood.

I've been practicing this ever since the blog entry came up, and it's been working brilliantly for me.

I haven't yet conditioned it to the point of having a constant "Wow!" in the back of my consciousness, but that seems rather inevitable.

Currently, whenever I think of Level 2 Gratitude, I become instantly rooted in the Now. I begin noticing the details of everything around me, and I feel gratitude flowing through me over the very experience of being alive.

I can kind of liken it to the excitement of being in a lucid dream and noticing the quality of the dreamworld, such as stopping next to a plant and being amazed at its detail.

Another parallel I can draw is with the notion of being in a virtual reality. I can sort of detach myself mentally from reality and realize that it is an artificial construct created by consciousness. In that framework, I can feel even more gratitude and amazement over how brilliant and beautiful everything is (even when, objectively speaking, everything should seem very mundane).

Oh, and it also serves as a sort of an instant release. If there was pressure or stress occupying my mind at the time, I can feel most of it dissipate. Plus it gives me a new framework to reevaluate what I was thinking and doing (if it was something that was giving me a hard time).

As the post-it next to my bed says, "How wonderful it is to exist!"


So far this alone has been enough, but I'm going to continue practicing and see how much more pervasive I can make this attitude become.

One thing I'm at odds about is whether feeling gratitude for negative things attracts more of them. I could easily feel gratitude for a negative experience if I put it in the right context, but does that in any way give it power to replicate in my experience? If I feel gratitude for something, doesn't that kind of mean that I'm aligning myself with it?