Gratitude (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Gratitude

[John Wesley]

Interesting way of considering the link between gratitude and achieving success. I think this relationship is one of the reasons why becoming wealthy can be so difficult. We originally want to be wealthy because we're dissatisfied with our lives. In this state we're the opposite of grateful, making it very hard to attract success. When you're feeling a lot phase 2 gratitude, people can sense the positive energy radiating out of you and want to help you succeed.

One problem with this is that it's very hard to control your feelings. You're either grateful or not, I don't think it's a choice, and this oscillates back and forth.

[TeroMiettunen.com]

Perhaps the main reason it took you 10 years is really not that it took you so long to come up with the Level 2 idea, but that your external circumstances had to change to be good enough before you could feel grateful for everything.

Anyway I'm going to try it although I haven't even tried Level 1 yet.

[Iamsuperman]

Awesome blog, interesting paradigm!!!
One quick question - Won't being grateful for failures, people who treat you unkindly, etc. attract more of these? How can you be grateful for it but not be attracting it?

[Matthew Shea]

I think you really hit the nail on the head here, Steve. It truly is better to be grateful despite life's circumstances than to be grateful because of them. I'll draw an analogy to how I was taught that you should be kind to and pray for even those who are your enemies (turn the other cheek, so to speak). This is certainly a circumstance where gratitude can help you distinguish the underlying reasons behind a situation where someone is working against you in a much better way than if you simply look at them as your enemy. That way, you can possibly achieve a much better resolution. At the very least, you'll grow yourself and become a better person.

Anyway, great article. This makes complete sense and is truly something I intend to keep in mind.

[Matthew Shea]

Originally Posted by Iamsuperman

Awesome blog, interesting paradigm!!!
One quick question - Won't being grateful for failures, people who treat you unkindly, etc. attract more of these? How can you be grateful for it but not be attracting it?

I think just the opposite: you will attract less failures by being grateful for them. The key is to treat each failure as a growth experience so you don't repeat your mistakes. In other words, you're more grateful for the lesson learned than for the fact you failed. You should be grateful for the failure, too, being that it was the vehicle for the growth you achieved, but your focus should be more on the lessons/growth.

[TheColonel]

I'd like to add that the level of intensity in your gratitude is also a factor.

For example, I'm grateful when somebody cares enough what I think to ask my opinion about something. I might even say "I appreciate your asking...." But then again, I might not. But I still feel good for a brief moment that my opinion matters. Tomorrow - or even later tonight - I won't give it a second thought.

Now let's pretend someone just pulled my son from a burning building, saving his life. The intensity level of my gratitude would be indescribable. My feelings of gratitude towards that person would override just about any other thoughts that I could entertain.

He/She owes me money? Forget about it.
He/she never returned my chainsaw? Keep it.
He/She needs to borrow money? How much and how soon?

Pure, sincere, joyful, exhuberant gratitude has given me the most success with the LoA and life in general.

If I go down the list of level 1 gratitude, and give pure and joyful thanks with a high level of intensity, I speculate that I would come out better than if I went down the level II list and offered only mild appreciation for those things. Maybe I'll try it and see...

[JJH]

This blog post is a very strong alpha-reflection for an intention I set just the day before yesterday.

"Nail on the head" stuff here!

Thanks

[Adam]

I have actually noticed this quite a bit in my own life, with the exception of using one word.

Instead of gratitude, I use the word love.

Looking at the two lists, it's pretty easy to be grateful for all of the first list, but it is a bit different to actually love them. I can be grateful for a roof over my head, but do I actually love my apartment? I can be grateful for my 'stuff,' but do I love it? Of course I love my health, relationships, family, and skills, but what of the other 'Level 1' items?

Perhaps as a bridge from level 1 to level 2, we can work on having love rather than simply having gratitude for that first list...

Once we have passed that bridge, going to level 2 is much easier. If I love everything in the Level 1 list, then it is easy to look inward and be thankful for my life. If I can look at my budget apartment and feel love for it, well, honestly, there isn't much else in the universe that I can't also at least be thankful for, even if it is someone else's possessions. Can I be thankful for time and space when I love the car that I use to travel through them both? (Yes, my car is a time machine... Unfortunately, I haven't found reverse or second gear for time yet. ) If I love my skills, it is incredibly easy to appreciate the ideas and concepts that help me to hone my skills.

I have adopted the definition for Peace as being a love for everything... My life purpose is to bring peace to everybody... If we could extend our gratitude just a bit further into love, then I know that we can find peace.

[ahimel]

A Buddhist trick I learned a while ago is being grateful for people who irritate you, for they shall also teach you. I have a really hard time keeping my temper when I have to repeat myself -- it just drives me crazy that people don't pay enough attention to hear me the first time. It's definitly a bad habit that I've been trying to cure... and the only way to cure it is to practice not losing my temper. So each person that doesn't listen to me is the Universe giving me an opportunity to get better.

You can be grateful for problems if the problem you face is actually a problem in you. Grateful for this difficulty that shows you the truth. This gratitude doesn't cause more problems to manifest; the problem already manifested due to a problem you have -- feeling gratitude towards it is the first step in curing your problem, which will cause the external ones to go away.

I think one of the primary purposes of religion is to create level 2 gratitude. Hindu tradition emphasizes focusing on the breath -- take no breath for granted. Christian tradition frequently focuses on food -- "We thank you for this meal which we are about to recieve." Both breath and food are things we should be grateful for, but frequently forget to be. Prayer and meditation call our attention back to them.

There's a German folk song of which I can only recall 3 verses, but which makes a pretty good checklist of things to be L2 grateful for. It translates roughly as:

Thank you for this good morning
Thank you for each new day
Thank you for allowing me
to dump all of my problems on You

Thank you for all my good friends
Thank you, oh Lord, for everyone
Thank you for when I am able
To forgive my greatest enemy

Thank you for my workplace
Thank you for every small luck
Thank you for light, shadows
and for music

(If anyone has German lyrics or additonal verses, I'd be grateful. Maybe even Level 2 grateful. )

[Dave Kaminski]

I lost a bunch of money playing poker the other night. I didn't even care though (and the money did sort of matter, but in the grand scheme of things it certainly won't) because I was grateful for the social environment and the ability to meet with people who enjoy playing poker!

I feel much happier now that I'm grateful for EVERYTHING, and not just the 'good' things. I realize that the universe is the way it is for a reason, which I don't necessarily know, and that the fluctuation itself is something to be grateful for.

You hit the nail on the head with this one Steve.

Originally Posted by Adam

I have actually noticed this quite a bit in my own life, with the exception of using one word.

Instead of gratitude, I use the word love.

I do the same thing too! But for the sake of the conversation I addressed it similarly to what Steve says, as diction isn't really that important (essence vs. form)

[JAlvy]

The other night, I was going over the pros and cons of taking up an aspect of the "happiness manifesto", where one writes down 3-5 good things about each day, or things one is grateful for. I understood the idea of conditioning oneself to think positively and be grateful, but it didn't stick with me. I could just picture times in the future where I'd feel as though it were a task, or if I couldn't think of enough things, I'd end up frustrated. Similar to the difficulties of ending up "out of state" like Steve mentioned.

But this, this is something that my mind can chew on. Be grateful. Not just "for x". But... just... grateful.

Hmm. How about that.

[Dimitry]

Originally Posted by Dave Kaminski

I lost a bunch of money playing poker the other night. I didn't even care though (and the money did sort of matter, but in the grand scheme of things it certainly won't) because I was grateful for the social environment and the ability to meet with people who enjoy playing poker!

I'm not going to preach on a lot about this as I don't want to take away from the original intent of discussing the blog at hand, but I would be very careful of how you use such topics as gratitude and LoA to justify gambling. Playing cards games, is one thing, but playing for money can quickly spiral out of hand without you even realizing it.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Just be careful and analyze things. True you might be grateful for the experience, but did you learn from it and would you repeat it again. Don't forget to ask these questions as well.

[Haurum]

I am, without dispute, on level 2, so is my numero uno partner in business - I'll tell you guys, it's a KILLER combination!

[Frans]

This is one of the articles that makes Steve's blog the best of its kind.

I wonder whether there is still a future for other PD bloggers if they don't paraphrase Steve's articles or refer to his blog.

[LillyoftheValley]

This post came at the right time for me. Thanks, Steve!

I chose gratitude as my word of the year, found it to be kind of a shortcut to optimism.
I also started writing down how grateful I am for the things that await me in future. As I write about them as they are present, I get excited about them and almost 'feel' LoA working its magic on me.
But one thing missed. It didn't last as long as I wanted. I only practice it, I don't LIVE it yet.
When I'm in state of gratitude, I always start with level 1, and then, if I stay with it longer, gradually, almost unintentionally, I get to level 2.
But now I'm thinking I should 'trick' my mind to stay on the grateful side.
I should hang out more with the level 2, so it stays as a blueprint in my mind when level 1 changes thoughout the day.

Yay! Should work, unless Universe decides to change soon...

[Dave Kaminski]

Originally Posted by Dimitry

I'm not going to preach on a lot about this as I don't want to take away from the original intent of discussing the blog at hand, but I would be very careful of how you use such topics as gratitude and LoA to justify gambling. Playing cards games, is one thing, but playing for money can quickly spiral out of hand without you even realizing it.

Anyways, that's all I wanted to say. Just be careful and analyze things. True you might be grateful for the experience, but did you learn from it and would you repeat it again. Don't forget to ask these questions as well.

I used to play poker semi-professionally and I lost money on two very bad beats (runner runner trips to beat my two pair, and AQ vs A9 and my brother of all people sucked out the nine on me.)

Thanks for your worries but I'm very responsible when it comes to gambling. I'm just in a hard way about money right now because I'm in between working for myself and a job. I finished up with most clients a couple weeks ago and I start training for my new sales job this coming Monday.

I'm certainly not someone who would rationalize a gambling problem. I appreciate your concern deeper than you could imagine though. (Don't worry so much though! )

[Jeff Lilly]

My experience with the two levels of gratitude has been similar to Steve's. I've found, though, that there is a third level that extends and enriches the other two.

This is the attitude of being grateful to someone or something. If you have someone to thank, and that someone receives your thanks, the whole experience of gratitude is different. Before, the gratitude is inside you, an internal attitude. When you extend that gratitude to someone, it becomes an interaction, a social act, a kind of bonding between you and the one you're thanking. The gratitude takes on a whole new dimension, and is that much more rewarding. At least, this has been my experience. :-)

I write about this a lot more here: Druid Journal » Blog Archive » Impact of Druidism on Everyday Life: Requited Gratitude

[Jeremy Bennett]

As well, this is timely...
Recently, I received a cookbook on Zen Temple food - (it could be described as vegan japanese, if you want to put it in a box - though none of us would do that

... the most important thing, though, is the philosophy, which in part, includes the 5 reflections, (which you can find in other parts of the world in the buddhist tradition as well, I believe)

(Paraphrased from memory; i was running over this in my head on the way to work today)

1. May I reflect on where this food came from, the hands it has passed through, and those that prepared it.

2. Let me reflect on my imperfections, and whether I am worthy of this food.

3. Let me put aside all preferences and greed, and

4. Consider this food to be an effective medicine, to maintain the health of
my body and spirit

5. That it may help me in my work towards enlightenment.
(or for the work that God has for me - if that's more comfortable for you)

I want to practice this for a month (at least ) - I have found that this is more effective in my feeling thankful for my food, as well as my attitude towards what I choose to eat, than just a "standard" prayer which has been my practice for most of my life up until now.

Blessings!

[ccSteve]

Wonderful article, thank you for saying it that way.

One of my recent prayers / meditations:

Thank you for another day,
another meal;
Thank you for another breath,
another heartbeat;
Thank you for another moment,
another thought;
May my thoughts always be with you.

steve
Timely Insights on the Net - Devoted to exploring the nature of human life in our times.

[thijsvdanker]

Originally Posted by ahimel

A Buddhist trick I learned a while ago is being grateful for people who irritate you, for they shall also teach you. I have a really hard time keeping my temper when I have to repeat myself -- it just drives me crazy that people don't pay enough attention to hear me the first time. It's definitly a bad habit that I've been trying to cure... and the only way to cure it is to practice not losing my temper. So each person that doesn't listen to me is the Universe giving me an opportunity to get better.

Totally true, the only one who can test your patience is your enemy!

This blog is indead an alpha signal

Considering the Law of Attraction, if you are truly grateful for everything, then it doens't really matter what you attract! Everything you attract will be just the thing you need?!

If that's the case, then level 2 gratitude isn't just an efficient way to trigger the LOA... it IS the very same thing??!!

[cgs]

Another way to sum it up for me is:

Be grateful for change. Take gratitude in the impermanent.

I think its wonderful to be grateful for things in level 1, but remember that they too, will pass.

[JBRU]

Steve's post reflects what little I have learned about the practice of zen. One of the key precepts is focused attention on every little thing that one does. "Chop wood. Carry water." Not "Chop wood to work out feelings of frustration. Carry water while griping about how far the pump is from the stove."

By being completely cognizant of one's every action, the way you are when you are first learning a complex task, you become aware of the beauty in these simple actions. The "wow" that Steve describes comes in those moments where your concentration and action become your entire existence; the rest of the world drops away for a time.

The more you practice this, the easier it is to get to that "wow" as you are doing things in the typical multi-tasking way we are used to. It is still refreshing, however, to practice focusing on a single task from time to time.

[Joaquim Mutim]

Nice post Steve!
Gratitude is really one of the most important feeling to access or higher selves to make all that we want

peace

[JAlvy]

Originally Posted by Dave Kaminski

I used to play poker semi-professionally and I lost money on two very bad beats (runner runner trips to beat my two pair, and AQ vs A9 and my brother of all people sucked out the nine on me.)

Thanks for your worries but I'm very responsible when it comes to gambling. I'm just in a hard way about money right now because I'm in between working for myself and a job. I finished up with most clients a couple weeks ago and I start training for my new sales job this coming Monday.

I'm certainly not someone who would rationalize a gambling problem. I appreciate your concern deeper than you could imagine though. (Don't worry so much though! )

I thought about your message also last night, since I'm went through similar losses on the table, although probably not at the stakes you had them at. So don't worry, this isn't a warning on the dangers of gambling, after all, I'm doing it too!

In your original post, I think you said that you suffered the bad beats, then went on to feel thankful for the opportunity to play against your opponents. When I was thinking about Steve's blog and your post last night, I came to think that it is the bad beat itself that you should become grateful for. We must learn to become grateful for everything, including the most negative parts of the experience. In this way, our gratitude spreads to include everything.

Of course, right after I thought that, I had to grin and bear it to say, "I am grateful that this guy called my all-in and hit runner runner to make an inside straight". Then, "I am grateful that this guy caught his flush on the river."

... It's definitely a work in progress.

[Dave Kaminski]

Originally Posted by JAlvy

Of course, right after I thought that, I had to grin and bear it to say, "I am grateful that this guy called my all-in and hit runner runner to make an inside straight". Then, "I am grateful that this guy caught his flush on the river."

Of course, bad beats are a big part of the reason pro's make their money. If the underdog had no chance of winning, they wouldn't play

[alexb5784]

I love it when Steve said in the post:

Often when people attempt to use Level 1 Gratitude, it’s because they’re actually feeling complacent or negative about their circumstances, but they’re trying to look on the bright side and build some positive momentum.

For the past two days, I have been listening to audio material that has suggested you practice gratitude for what you have now. But I've always found that this type of gradtitude to be temporary. I mean, how can I be content, when I want to have better than what I have now? I'm not saying I'm in dire straits, but I want to experience more out of life. Level 1 Gratitude is confusing and goes up and down way too much.

But now after reading the post, I totally understand that Level 1 Gratitude is just the tip of the iceberg, and you need Level 2 to really enjoy life.

Gosh I'm so glad I'm a member of this forum

[alexb5784]

I was just thinking the same thing as Iamsuperman. Thanks for clearing that up, Matthew.

[Nicolle]

Originally Posted by John Wesley

One problem with this is that it's very hard to control your feelings. You're either grateful or not, I don't think it's a choice, and this oscillates back and forth.

I think the kind of gratitude Steve is talking about transcends feelings. I can feel sad and still choose to be grateful for the experience. What you're talking about is exactly what he said level 1 gratitude is: circumstance-dependent.

[Jeanm3]

I believe that there is great power in synchronicity.

Good example is your blog on Gratitude. Just one minute before I saw your blog for the first time, I was typing a quotation into my list of saved quotes:

"Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. Northrup Christiane .

Wow! That's exactly what Steve was saying!

Anyone heard of Northup Christiane?