Personal Development for Smart People Forums

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

 

Go Back   Personal Development for Smart People Forums > Steve & Erin Pavlina > Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina Discuss ideas, articles, and podcasts from StevePavlina.com. New threads are automatically generated for Steve's latest blog posts.


Welcome to the Personal Development for Smart People Forums, the place for lively, intelligent discussion of all personal growth issues -- physical, mental, financial, social, emotional, spiritual, and more.

You're currently viewing as a guest, which gives you limited read-only access. By joining our free community, you'll be able to post your own messages, access many members-only features, see the new messages posted since your last visit, and of course remove this header message. Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please join today.

If you arrived here from a search engine, you may want to explore the main site first, which includes hundreds of deep and insightful articles on a variety of personal development topics.
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #151 (permalink)  
Old 12-23-2008, 08:43 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Barcelona, currently
Posts: 727
Andrew Gubb is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Andrew Gubb
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by amyor View Post
Barcelona is so lovely! I went there this year, we should start a Pavlina themed travel group.
If you come here again, drop me a PM
__________________
AndrewGubb.com | empowerment in the search for truth and meaning | | | The Spiritual Vegan | free vegan recipes in English and Spanish
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #152 (permalink)  
Old 12-27-2008, 05:08 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 499
Lupe is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexb5784 View Post
I decided not to find a job nor a place to live because all I wanted to do was learn about myself. So for two years, I was purposely homeless just so I could have as much free time as possible. I slept in hospital closets and lobbies, public bathrooms, deserted hallways, homeless shelters, and anyplace else that was safe. Miraculously not once did I ever go hungry or sleep outside in the cold. I always had food, clothing, and shelter. I even made new friends and found time to volunteer with the United Way. I was homeless and volunteering, go figure

As I had so much time to do nothing but study, I read about a hundred books and listened to loads of audio material. And as I still had nice clothes, most people had no I idea I was homeless, to them I just looked like the average college student.

Everyday I went to the public library and studied. In 2006, I discovered Steve's blog and started listening to his podcasts. That summer I landed a job and started saving money, though I was still homeless at the time. Then that job led to another one and finally I got an apartment. I suppose you could say my life became "normal" again.

Now after two years of having a "normal" life, I'm shaking things up again. Though I have a good job in high-tech marketing, I'm leaving it to go work for myself. I have no desire to continue to promote products I don't believe in, it really sickens me.

I made the mistake of believing in a false sense of security (money, a job, apartment, material things). I got sucked right back into the social conditioning I ran away from when I consciously decided to become homeless. I forgot what I had been through and why. The comforts of the status-quo kept me blinded from the truth


Today I'm proud to say that I'm resigning from my job in 60 days and have already attracted a client for my new business. I'm not worried about going broke or failing this time because I've already been there. If it happens again, so what. As long as I'm doing what I love, I'll find a way to get back on my feet. At this point in my life, the scariest thing I have ever experienced was not being homeless, but being dependent on a job for my survival!

I hope this story helps someone. Send me a PM if you have any questions
Inspiring!
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #153 (permalink)  
Old 12-27-2008, 08:55 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 215
Monique7nuns is on a distinguished road
Default hypocritical arrogance

I read a few of the things people have written here and two things occur to me:

1. you gotta be fuking kidding me (especially if/when it's been written by a whiny teen or 20-something) give me a break!
2. at least I'm not as bad off as these poor saps

My capacity for compassion has taken a holiday.

When I've written out my own sap story for public display I bet anything it repulses and irritates some just as much as these do me.
__________________
Monique Sevenans.com
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #154 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2009, 12:06 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Bronx, NY / Fairfield, CT
Posts: 70
BeyondtheWrap is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to BeyondtheWrap
Default

When Steve said to share your shame, I didn't think he actually meant to post it as a reply to the thread, but to stop hiding it from the people in your life.

It seems like everyone ignored the question I asked earlier, so I'll ask again: how do you balance honesty with respecting the privacy of others? For example, if my shame is "I did sexual acts X and Y with person A," the sharing would naturally not be appropriate, right? If I share, I share for the other person as well.

I find the idea of total honesty very appealing, but it has some practical drawbacks. This is one of them.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #155 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2009, 02:28 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 167
Susie is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pterodactyl View Post
Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

"Why hide this info from your employer? Why try to work somewhere where you have to hide a part of yourself every day you go to work?"

Let's take the alarming case of those people here who are posting, in a public forum, that they have mental illness or have cheated on their spouses or have had thoughts of murder, etc. These things one would not in good conscience admit to one's coworkers because it would be stupid to do that. Now, imagine that one of those people has worked very hard to obtain a position that is leading them in the right direction in their lives. They generally enjoy their jobs, but they cannot control how others treat or perceive them, and if that job is competitive, any fuel for the fire is fair game. Should that person leave the environment because of a few bad apples? No, but in that case you have to be careful. Disclosing your dark and dirty secrets to people on a public web forum, and turning the whole world into your personal twelve step program is stupid. I'm actually a bit alarmed at all these responses. Do none of these folks have employers who do background checks, or anticipate that they might? I suppose if it comes down to that, then yes, you would need to own your mistakes. But why open yourself up to that? If you were a sex addict, mentally ill, etc., why in God's name would you ever share that information with your employer if you wanted to keep the job you worked hard to get?

I am not saying it's wrong or stupid to open up and share. Far from it! But do so wisely. Not everyone is in Steve's position, nor should everyone want or aspire to be.

This has nothing to do with soulless environments and evil employers--it's about being smart and managing your future. Like it or not, there are people in the world who will, for absolutely no reason, do what they can do to undermine you. Why not protect yourself from that? Sure, share all you want with trusted friends and advisors--that is why they are trusted. I am just encouraging others to be intelligent about accomplishing their goals. I'm sorry, but I don't think the world is a big wide open friendly place, and wanting or pretending that it is so is not going to make it so.
I just want to let you know I agree with you 100% completely. Having seen people do extreme full disclosures on the internet, and then having seen the repercussions (losing child visitation as one example) I agree it can be simply stupid to put everything out there in public.

Last edited by Susie; 01-24-2009 at 02:30 AM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #156 (permalink)  
Old 01-26-2009, 01:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Barcelona, currently
Posts: 727
Andrew Gubb is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Andrew Gubb
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Susie View Post
I just want to let you know I agree with you 100% completely. Having seen people do extreme full disclosures on the internet, and then having seen the repercussions (losing child visitation as one example) I agree it can be simply stupid to put everything out there in public.
I agree with this, but if Ptero was directing that partly at me, believe me I did think that side over. I have actually sworn to never have a boss ever, even to the point of making peace with the idea of living on the streets, and to make a point of being completely open -- and to accept all the lifestyle changes that involves. I have lost friends because of my honesty. My current girfriend finds it pretty hard sometimes to cope with my openness about which other girls I lust over (I have the sex drive of a wild horse). Yet, I find the friends who I still have are the friends I want to have.

This kind of radicalism isn't for everyone.
__________________
AndrewGubb.com | empowerment in the search for truth and meaning | | | The Spiritual Vegan | free vegan recipes in English and Spanish
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
  #157 (permalink)  
Old 01-26-2009, 01:44 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 716
ellie is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to ellie
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker5 View Post
Edit: burgers is what is inside the nose.
That was a very small fine-print We call em boogers

Oh come on who doesn't
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
3 successful bloggers share their blog tips (short video) Steve Pavlina Business & Financial 6 11-01-2008 03:03 PM
Shame Boreas Emotional Mastery 8 09-17-2008 05:30 AM
Clarity of Spirit = No longer burdened by conscious, guilt, shame? ProjectX Character & Contribution 1 09-08-2008 07:55 AM
Guilt, shame, IM cylon Intention-Manifestation 21 05-19-2008 02:49 AM
Shame/inability to cry, grief, be sad... LillyoftheValley Emotional Mastery 7 09-29-2007 01:48 PM


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:43 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.1.0
Copyright © 2008 by Pavlina LLC