Follow Your Heartbreak (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Follow Your Heartbreak

[ArthurHung]

I read a book that Steve recommended from the "Is Your Genius at work?" article and through 2 days of non-stop work on this book, I got a small emotional surge and the naming of my "Genius". Which I ended up with as "purposeful spontaneousnous". (I realize sponataneousnous isn't a word, it's just what I came up with and it feels right).

So, I did Steve's purpose exercise about 2-3 times since I first viewed this site, and it didn't ever do much for me at all. However, when I did it with "What Is My Heartbreak", I couldn't stop writing fast enough, and it felt much more purposeful to me.

This is what I ended up with:

What is my heartbreak?

Broken homes
Single parents
Cigarette devastation
Food Devastation
Poverty
Fear Creation
Inability to be competent
Overwhelming situations
Unlucky Ignorance
Ignorance anger
Inability to express feelings
Inability to sing
Inability to connect
Inability to connect (to the present, and to people)
Inability to triage fast enough
Inability to be purposefully spontaneous
Inability to learn the core benefit of contribution over mooching
Inability to leave the history of humanity's violence behind
Inability to use humanity's violence energy, to use it in it's proper place
Inability to get past apathy, to find joy in growth
Inability to get past fear of the pain that comes with growth
Inability to think for one's self, led by society's brainwashing
Inability in finding the joy in helping others
Inability to bring out best in oneself to help others
Inability to get rid bad habits
Inability to mediate true joy with groundedness
Inability to find the beauty of growing one's own consciousness
Inability to bring out the best in oneself.
Inability to find the joy in general
Inability to learn, respect and be grateful for the contrasts of life
Inability to find one's medium for growth
Inability to become healthier through intelligence
Inability to be courageous through societies conditioning
Inability to be disciplined
Inability to develop great habits, which form great men
Inability to get rid of parent/child/family dramas fast enough
Inability to bring beauty into one's life through conscious action
Inability to find a true friend
Inability to be confident while alone
Inability to find one's true purpose and start discovering what truly living is all about

I didn't do this enough that I cried, so techically I didn't finish the exercise, but right now this is what I came up with, and I felt "finished" when I went up to here. I don't think everyone has to cry to be done.

I'm writing this out here so if anyone can give me some clues to what they think my purpose is, they can give me some hints. Either here or by PM is fine, doesn't really matter to me. I know when I find what I'm truly here to do, I'll be a force to be reckoned with, with respect to helping the world. Perhaps that's a little bit of naive hubris, but I won't know unless I find it right?

So if anyone has any comments - it'd be appreciated.

Some hints: I currently do language exchanges with 2 people, I teach them English and I learn Mandarin from them, and I'm a very solid informal English teacher for all intents and purposes of what those students require.

I've done a lot of sales and am pretty good at it, though I've got a lot to learn. And I'm a Chinese vegan in Toronto (very rare for someone my age and race in this city). And I basically have no fear of people.

[Savage]

My intuition tells me it has something to do with this line:
Inability to connect

Something about living in a world where everyone is disconnected from everyone else (and the problems that arise from that). Feeling all alone in a world filled with people.

[pharmboy]

Steve,

You have mentioned several times about living in your favorite place in the world. Do you feel that there are places where there are fewer people that you really connect with? I currently live near millions of people, but rarely find anyone that I make a connection with. This is not true, when I travel or go back to visit my home state. My family is perfectly content here, so I don't feel like I should uproot them, because I am lonely. Just wondering how this fits in with the oneness principle.

[Anna Conlan]

Wow, what a brilliant concept. I see that I am motivated by my heartbreak quite a bit.

My heartbreak is...people believing they are helpless and suffering because they believe they are at the whim of fate or God. It pains me when people don't fulfil their potential because of this!

I know that my current job taps into my heart break, because if I'm ever procrastinating at work, I have an exercise where I go into my heart and basically connect with my heart break. It curbs procrastination straight away. I didn't know what I was doing though.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by pharmboy

Steve,

You have mentioned several times about living in your favorite place in the world. Do you feel that there are places where there are fewer people that you really connect with? I currently live near millions of people, but rarely find anyone that I make a connection with. This is not true, when I travel or go back to visit my home state. My family is perfectly content here, so I don't feel like I should uproot them, because I am lonely. Just wondering how this fits in with the oneness principle.

Part of developing Oneness (moreso the primary principle of Love) involves surrounding yourself with compatible connections and dropping those connections you feel are currently incompatible with you.

When your life is filled with compatible connections, you begin to feel Oneness toward everyone, including those you might have previously disconnected from.

Even Jesus surrounded himself with 12 Apostles who called him Lord and Master wherever he went. Okay so one denied knowing him, and another betrayed him outright, but 10 out of 12 is still pretty good.

[eternomi]

Don't know who Andrew Harvey is. Never read any of his books. Never been to his lectures, but I totally agree with his argument that personal development is mental masturbation as it currently stands. Not that PD is a bad thing, but it often lives in the land of abstractions and mental frameworks which are hard to translate to everyday life. Worse yet, people correlate all sorts of "magic" with it because the concepts are often so intangible and impractical.

I see that most people take up PD as if it is a purpose in and of itself (myself guilty as charged), not realizing they need an outlet for all that PD to have any meaning and use. People who teach PD are potentially the culprit since they use these principles in a way to promote PD itself, create a positive feedback loop and knowingly or unknowingly lead others to become like themselves. But the eager following seems to miss the whole point by literally following in the footsteps of the PD gurus.

Most preachers have their crowd and outside of that crowd they have no power. From where I stand, PD seems to be a rather self-serving crowd. Unfortunately, none of it makes an iota of difference unless the crowd can intermingle with the rest, spreading the goodness where it is needed, but intermingling does not mean passing books around and lecturing people on what they should be doing. That never ever works! People learn most by watching what others do, so you have to do what you preach in a field of your choice (other than PD), make it work and lead others by example. Then, your legend will spread and people will be trying to immitate you and life will take a turn for the better.

The question is who is willing to do this cross-pollination! That's where the difficulty is, and that's also where the value is too. You want a better software development industry? Are you willing to turn things around there or are you going to run away from it? You want a cleaner environment? Are you going to start an aware, self-conscious recycling company? Or are you going to keep digging for solutions in your PD books?

There is no easy reward at the end of this tunnel, but it is what is most needed to turn things around. More now than ever before! PD gurus are half way there, but not quite. We need volunteers to jump into other fields, change things around, use conscious methods, still manage to succeed and serve as examples to the others! And I personally guarantee you that by doing this, you will reach peaks of PD like no other has! Being hands on will not divert you from developing yourself at all. On the contrary, all aspects of your development will accelerate as you channel yourself to projects like this.

For example, I would love to see Steve jump into some other field, take the helm and turn it around. Start a company and show people that it is possible to do things differently, more consciously, yet still succeed in every sense of the word. Then, I just might worship him. At the moment, he is showing people that it is possible to become a PD guru and make it work. We all knew that! :P

p.s. Note to self: Stop writing huge posts on forums, and start working on your blog.

[Savage]

I agree that much of PD can be a bit ungrounded.

On the other hand, you get people who talk about wanting everything to be "practical" and "grounded," but all they're really trying to do is spin their wheels faster and faster. They think they're trying to be more productive and successful, yet their net output is actually destructive. They use "practical infocrack" as a way of distracting themselves from the truth. Teaching such people to work more efficiently isn't a good thing.

It's no good to work on the grounded PD stuff if you're rooted to the wrong planet.

Much of my work involves helping people figure out what to root themselves to in the first place. I see no point in teaching people to dig a deeper hole for themselves. Productivity improvement is very important, but if you have the high-level parts of your life all wrong, more productivity just means ramming your ship into an iceberg at full speed.

If I thought I could make a bigger difference by working in a different field, I'd do so. But I feel I'm having a strong impact where I am right now. For example, I've helped other people start hundreds of new businesses, some online and some offline.

Remember that part of the reason I stopped running my computer games business is that I found I was able to have a bigger impact by helping other game developers than I was by running my own business. I'd rather help spawn hundreds more conscious businesses in the years ahead, and maybe a few nonprofits too, than focus on just one challenge by myself.

I can see that I'm right where I need to be.

[Dan.Linehan]

Heartbreak is seeing the current state of the American economy and educational system. So many people who never knew they could have it better..

[supertom]

I never realised it but that what I done the first time I did the purpose exercise, I cant remember what answer I got but I remember balling my eyes out. I didnt trust the answer I got cause I thought I did it wrong.

[supertom]

Summer McStravick's flow dreaming looks interesting

Flowdreaming - A Radical New Technique for Manifesting

This is exactly what seth "seth speaks" says reality looks like but we cant see it , thats who seth 2 is the one next to him.

[alisona]

Following your heartbreak is a beautiful idea, and I can see why it caught your (Steve's) attention. And I loved reading the way you put the "opposite side of the same coin" pieces together. Its so true.

We have two choices when our hearts are broken - to shut down, close the wound tightly against further vulnerability, let it harden with resentment and gnarled scar tissue against the possibility of further injury. We can put up our dukes against the darkness.

Or we can let our hearts break open.

That second one takes more courage, and more work. And it is entirely possible that our hearts will break again, and then again, and over and over and over. But an open heart also receives love. And love teaches oneness, and oneness is the explanation for the fact that joy and heartbreak are simply opposite sides of the same coin. The coin is the human experience. And we are all having that experience. Even those you call darkworkers. What makes them dark is likely their shut down, scarred over hearts.

A broken open heart also lets light in, and in the light we can see things for what they are, and that is the doorway to oneness consciousness. The "what is your heartbreak exercise" is so good because it shows how we can welcome our heartbreak as a powerful teacher/reminder of both the ways we are unique, and of the ways we are the same.

[Neutral]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

There was one line Andrew said during his workshop that gave me an instant emotional hit. He said, “Don’t follow your bliss. Follow your heartbreak.” That’s a powerful way to reframe your life purpose

This reframing makes my answer feel much more complete.

My result from Steve's "Find Your Purpose" method felt correct but incomplete. And the question most asked of Steve and Erin is still, "What is my purpose?". Personally, I ended up solving the question on my own, but too many people are still unclear in this area.

But the reframing brought me more clarity. I think I'm much closer to creating a definitive method to teach people how to find there purposes' too.

It's surprising that while in most of my life I strive to frame things positively, a "negative" frame was more useful here. But of course they are both equally valid, and can be seen in different lights. I still feel odd identifying with the "negative", or more "womanly" framing.

I can see I have to work on polarity next.

Thank You, Steve

[jaamkie]

"my own heartbreak" is my complicity in the suffering in the world- particularly in factory farms and in African poverty. Today I'm struggling again with it- every time I get motivated to do animal rights activism, my memories of being raped and abused, and my own invovement in creating those circumstances and never confronting the guy or in any way stopping him from doing the same thing to others, come up in conjunction with the thoughts of the animals being hurt. I withdraw from the world to not pollute it with all my misery and anger, waiting until the memories and nightmares and anger recede back to a comfortable selfish numbness. I haven't figured out how to turn "my heartbreak" into positive motivation- it just spirals into depression and isolation.

[sixx1984]

I have never done the "what is your purpose?" test - mainly because I've never found the time to sit down and do it. I have never done the "what is your heartbreak?" test either, but for a different reason - I am really afraid to.

There are many things in this world that completely break my heart. I am afraid to write them down because I am such a weak person emotionally that it would destroy me.

Animal suffering, animal cruelty etc... Even just writing those few words make me feel like crying. I can't watch any animal suffering adverts because I break down in tears and for the rest of the day I am a wreck. Even if I am watching a cartoon with a sad animal bit I cry. For example, I recently watched an episode of Futurama. There was a bit in it with an abandoned dog and I had to pause the dvd cause I couldn't control my tears. I would love to work in animal rescue but I would fall apart emotionally. I thought I could maybe be a vet, but the thought of putting animals down breaks my heart. I couldn't do it. I want to help, but I don't think I am strong enough.

It also hurts when I see good people wasting their lives. I used to have a best friend who had so much potential but wasted it all. No matter how hard me and her other friends tried to help her, she wouldn't listen, but she would still complain about how unhappy she was. You can't change people who don't want to change. So at the end of the day, I had to walk away from her because it was too painful for me to watch her waste away her life.

I still haven't found my calling in life. I am 24, but I still feel so lost. I really want to end up somewhere where I can make a difference. Animal suffering is my biggest heart-breaker. Do you think I am supposed to end up dedicating my life to helping animals?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by sixx1984

I still haven't found my calling in life. I am 24, but I still feel so lost. I really want to end up somewhere where I can make a difference. Animal suffering is my biggest heart-breaker. Do you think I am supposed to end up dedicating my life to helping animals?

Yes.

It sounds like you'll need a hefty dose of Chapter 6 to get going though.

[supertom]

"Life is waiting for you to make the first move"

Why??? if you come here with a purpose, why does life wait for you, shouldnt it already know what to give you.

[smartile]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina
I remember debating with Andrew during our radio interview about the joy/sorrow issue. I think he may derive most of his drive and passion from the sorrow side, while I get mine from the joy side. I consider both approaches to be equally valid; however, gratitude is a stronger motivator for me than sadness, so I focus on the those feelings because they’re more effective for me.

My primal motivator is pleasure/joy. In my own experience what I've learned is that pain/sorrow can be a great "starter" to drive me into action, but in the long run pleasure/joy keeps the fuel in my tank filled so that I can go the distance.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by supertom

"Life is waiting for you to make the first move"

Why??? if you come here with a purpose, why does life wait for you, shouldnt it already know what to give you.

This is like complaining that a mirror doesn't smile at you first.

It's only a refection.

[Jana Gray]

Arthur,

Troubled family relationships seems to be a recurring theme on your heart break list. And you currently enjoy working one on one with people learning a new language. Perhaps being a therapist or marriage counselor is for you? Something in which you help people understand and communicate with each other.

Good luck in your journey.

Jana

[SirLouen]

Great point of view. Never thought on this. I think this is just one of the ghosts of the society

But is difficult to fight vs ghosts, as they frighten you with loads of subcouncious messages of avoidance... most of them are totally absurd... but look so real

[tonyo]

This is an incredible blog posting and I believe it touches us where we are most vulnerable.

If you earn a good income, have a roof over your head and don`t have a concern as to where you`re next meal is coming from, you are more fortunate than the greater percentage of the planets population.

My heart-break is people (especially children) dying unnecessarily of starvation and disease, and people living lives of no meaning and challenge and going to their graves without realising a fraction of the incredible potential they possess.

I have spent a little time with the homeless and it is heart-rending how helpless they can be, some are so removed from normal life that to get them back on track is a huge undertaking. I found that in helping them, I was helped I believe more than they were, I wept over their situation, and the harsh reality of what little I could do compared with what I had hoped to do.

Martin Seligman, the well-known psychologist who has done studies on learned helplessness and optimism, in a presentation at one of the TED conferences (TED: Ideas worth spreading or look up Martin Seligman on youtube) talked about 3 levels of life satisfaction.

The first level is superficial, going on holiday, going to a good restaurant etc, the 2nd level is satisfaction from the work you do, whatever that may be, the 3rd level is being of service to others and the satisfaction that that brings. The 3rd level provides the most satisfying and long-lasting return on your time, according to Seligman.

A blog like this one which reaches and impacts people all over the globe clearly falls in both the second and third levels of contribution.

[geekchic9]

OK, my turn!

Here is what I wrote when I asked myself the new question Steve posted:

What is my greatest heartbreak?
1. My greatest heartbreak is seeing people suffer when they don’t have to.
2. My greatest heartbreak is knowing that people suffer and others don’t want to see it.
3. My greatest heartbreak is not doing anything about others’ suffering.
4. My greatest heartbreak is having all of these answers when people are afraid to ask the questions.
5. My greatest heartbreak is keeping quiet when I know I can help people.
6. My greatest heartbreak is not sharing my experiences when I know I can help others.
7. My greatest heartbreak is staying stuck in my life instead of helping people get better.
8. My greatest heartbreak is knowing that depression is becoming a top disability when people don’t want to acknowledge it for fear of being labeled “crazy”.
9. My greatest heartbreak is seeing when good people do nothing.
10. My greatest heartbreak is that I know I could be helping people with their depression and their issues, and that I am afraid of doing it because of the consequences I may face in my career and in getting insurance.
11. My biggest heartbreak is knowing that most of my greatest fears will never happen, but living in fear anyway.
12. My biggest heartbreak is doing nothing to help others when I know what they’re going through.
13. My biggest heartbreak is feeling alone when I know that others are going through the same thing that I am going through.

[At this point I felt stuck, so I decided to change back to Steve's original question.]

What is my purpose in life?

1. My purpose in life is to help other people in my generation face their mental illness and learn how to thrive despite of it.
2. My purpose in life is to get over the stigma I fear and to reach out and help others so they don’t have to be afraid, either.
3. My purpose in life is to be a mental health advocate.
4. My purpose in life is to grow and help others reach their dreams in early life.
5. My purpose in life is to acknowledge my mental illness and help others make peace with their illness.
6. My purpose in life is to make sure other college students don’t go through what I went through, and to write a book or a blog based on what I went through so others can learn from it.
7. My purpose in life is not being good enough. My purpose is not good enough. But what IS good enough? Will I ever be good enough?

[At this point I felt like my motivation to answer the question ran dry.]

My question about my purpose is that should it be so specific, like writing a book and/or blog to help college students cope with their mental illnesses? I read others' purposes and they are so much more general than that. The book and/or blog would be my medium, college students with mental illnesses would be my target audience, but what would be my message besides one of general encouragement? I'm just not sure!

[Tobes]

I withdraw from the world to not pollute it with all my misery and anger, waiting until the memories and nightmares and anger recede back to a comfortable selfish numbness. I haven't figured out how to turn "my heartbreak" into positive motivation- it just spirals into depression and isolation.

I can so relate to this feeling! I have taken on a number of causes locally dealing with environmental destruction due to over development and industry, and I get so overwhelmed and angry that I just want to run away from it (there are so few of us even trying!).

It seems like everywhere I look these days I see so many causes that I relate to, but yet it just seems so overwhelming to really make a difference. I wish I really believed that that a positive difference could last, but man has been on this earth probably over 50,000 years and here we are still repeating the same lessons of history - and still practicing war, cruelty, mistreatment of animals, intolerance, yada yada. How can we really make a difference when 1000's of generations NEVER LEARN from history? If these lessons would somehow get programmed into our DNA, that would be great, but I see no evidence of this happening.

It is for these reasons that I find myself also retreating into depression and despair. It just all seems nihilistic and like a senseless cycle of Yin/Yang. I have a bad case of existential malaise!

[CroMagna]

It's interesting, I was just thinking of this same thing a few minutes ago. I think there is something unmistakably cowardly about the self-help and New Age movements, and I'm glad to see that Steve has not fallen into this trap. Basically with self-help/New Age you're taught that all the injustices in the world are all about you. You "created this reality", you "taught people how to treat you" (two of Dr. Phil's 10 Life Lessons), you need to change and improve, heal, forgive, learn to love yourself and find happiness within yourself. No! Sometimes abuse is abuse, injustice is injustice, inequality is inequality. It's "out there" not "in your mind".

I think it is no coincidence that most of this stuff is marketed to women. It's an outrage! It's a way of avoiding fighting sexism. They would NEVER do this about racism. They would NEVER say to black man being subjected to racism "you need to learn to love yourself" or "would you rather be right, or be happy?" I would say "I'd rather be right motherf--ker." Are you kidding? There'd be a riot! There is a chapter in Susan Faludi's Backlash called "It's All In Your Mind: Popular Psychology Joins the Backlash." I don't agree that it's a conspiracy or a backlash per se. I think these Dr. Phil's etc are well-meaning and realize in the backs of their minds that women are powerless and that nothing can be done to combat sexism, so you might as well try to make women happy. But at what cost? Their dignity? Self-respect?

So yes the thing that completely breaks my heart, tears me down, to the point where I'm scared to death to think about it, for fear I might actually lose my mind and never recover is: that sexism is out there, that there's nothing that can be done about it, that women don't get treated with respect, and that sexism is more socially acceptable than racism.

I don't think there's anything I can do about it though. I mean I really don't. I think feminists have learned their lesson by now. And I'm afraid I would be risking my sanity. Altruism and activism are not for everyone. That's why I am this way, for example: "A woman's life is such a minefield of conflicts that misanthropy, at least in the sense of, everybody buzz off, is the only thing that really works" -Florence King

[CroMagna]

Maaan...I wonder if someone prayed for me in here. I had a HUGE, life-changing breakthrough yesterday. I am no longer angry about sexism. At all. I have finally, finally moved to the Pride level of consciousness.

[missing]

skimming through this thread and reading others posts, i must say i have a hard time getting choked up about the problems of others and the world when my own existence feels like a nihilistic exercise in futility. Just getting out of bed at a decent hour can be a real accomplishment for me. This doesn't mean I don't care about the world's problems, i do, i just can't afford to invest in them emotionally. It's a good thing I haven't had to face any "real" challenges in my life (say, homelessness or real poverty ie not of the grad school variant). I'm not sure I'd be up to the task. In fact, that's my big fear. That one day I will be confronted with a serious challenge and I will say "f it, i'm outta here!". It's not even so much a fear as an observation. I've even picked out a bridge! The fear comes from anticipating the big argument I'm expecting to have with my higher self for assigning me such a pointless life. So long as I don't face any such crisis, I won't be confronted with such a decision. Even still, life seems very pointless to me. I stick around out of intellectual curiosity about the world. I enjoy learning about it and observing it, but anything else is too much. I have no interest in the daunting task of actually "living my life". I used to, but I got sick of trying things when the universe was going to fight me every step of the way.

hmm... kind of an emo rant here. but this was an interesting blog from Steve. I know there is something to glean from it that I can apply to myself, just can't get a grip on what it is...

[geekchic9]

Originally Posted by missing

skimming through this thread and reading others posts, i must say i have a hard time getting choked up about the problems of others and the world when my own existence feels like a nihilistic exercise in futility.

<snip>

hmm... kind of an emo rant here. but this was an interesting blog from Steve. I know there is something to glean from it that I can apply to myself, just can't get a grip on what it is...

Well, I'm past that point of contemplating suicide as an option. Over six years ago, after a couple of rough patches in my life, it was suggested that I make a contract with myself that suicide was NOT an option and why. I wrote things like:

"I have too much to live for."
"I have so many loved ones who are rooting for me."
"I don't want to end my life prematurely; I want to see how it naturally ends."
"I want to see if I can make my dreams come true."

Today, I think I will add a new reason: "My life is worth living." Even if it doesn't seem like it right now, I feel in my gut that it somehow will be if I stick around long enough to see it through to its conclusion.

Maybe you can also make a contract while you're still feeling rational and in a decent mood. It doesn't really matter if you believe your reasons or not. Just write some down. Repeatedly reading and saying the reasons over time will make them more believable. Make a few copies of the contract to put in strategic places around where you live, and keep one copy in your wallet. Then, when you're feeling low and suicidal, wherever you are, you can read it. It helps to memorize it as well, in case you can't find a copy when you need the contract the most.

Anyway, thanks for the blog idea. I think I will expand on this idea there.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by missing

skimming through this thread and reading others posts, i must say i have a hard time getting choked up about the problems of others and the world when my own existence feels like a nihilistic exercise in futility. Just getting out of bed at a decent hour can be a real accomplishment for me. This doesn't mean I don't care about the world's problems, i do, i just can't afford to invest in them emotionally. It's a good thing I haven't had to face any "real" challenges in my life (say, homelessness or real poverty ie not of the grad school variant). I'm not sure I'd be up to the task. In fact, that's my big fear. That one day I will be confronted with a serious challenge and I will say "f it, i'm outta here!". It's not even so much a fear as an observation. I've even picked out a bridge! The fear comes from anticipating the big argument I'm expecting to have with my higher self for assigning me such a pointless life. So long as I don't face any such crisis, I won't be confronted with such a decision. Even still, life seems very pointless to me. I stick around out of intellectual curiosity about the world. I enjoy learning about it and observing it, but anything else is too much. I have no interest in the daunting task of actually "living my life". I used to, but I got sick of trying things when the universe was going to fight me every step of the way.

hmm... kind of an emo rant here. but this was an interesting blog from Steve. I know there is something to glean from it that I can apply to myself, just can't get a grip on what it is...

And that's exactly why the larger body of humanity (and most of the people in your life) will ignore your pleas for help.

Others will regard you as a very self-centered individual and will tighten up around you. Your own mindset cuts you off from getting the help and support you desire. You'll never get ahead this way. You'll just remain stuck in the same quagmire of disconnection year after year. Then... eventually... you'll die. And not too many people will likely concern themselves with your passing.

As long as you fail to care about the world, the world won't care much about you either.

On the other hand, if you demonstrate that you care about the world, the world will take note and will start caring about you. When you ask for help, people will line up to assist you. Wherever you direct your attention, you'll be overloaded with abundance.

The world helps the helpers first. It leaves the non-helpers to fend for themselves and fight for scraps.

[geekchic9]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

And that's exactly why the larger body of humanity (and most of the people in your life) will ignore your pleas for help.

I usually love your responses, Steve, but this one was not an appropriate one for someone who has expressed that they have a plan for killing themselves. Even though what you say is true, if this person is not in a rational state of mind when they read your response, they could take it as more ammunition for why jumping off that bridge is somehow a good idea.

I'm not sure if you've ever contemplated suicide, so I'm not sure if you'll even understand why I'm responding this way. Thus, I don't expect you to understand. This person may not even take your post in the way that I am suggesting. All I know is that if I had a plan for my suicide and was told by the creator of a popular self-help web site that "You'll never get ahead this way. You'll just remain stuck in the same quagmire of disconnection year after year. Then... eventually... you'll die" I would be very hurt and depressed. I would then think, "Why should I wait till 'eventually'? Why not just end the pain now? I don't see a way out of my mindset, ever." That's irrational, of course, but people who contemplate suicide generally aren't being their most rational selves.

This is why I think those who help a lot of people, including the depressed, should get training for understanding the mindsets of people contemplating suicide. There are classes out there for non-counselors. Maybe you should check them out.