Follow Your Heartbreak (Blog)

[supertom]

the world doesnt help the helpers first, otherwise charities would be rich.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by supertom

the world doesnt help the helpers first, otherwise charities would be rich.

Help and money aren't the same thing. Plus there are lots of charities that do more harm than good. Some of the cancer-related ones come to mind. Additionally, a charity isn't a conscious human being.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Help and money aren't the same thing. Plus there are lots of charities that do more harm than good. Some of the cancer-related ones come to mind. Additionally, a charity isn't a conscious human being.

1. Can you name any charities that you know do help (especially international ones concerned with human rights and humanitarian issues)?
2. How do you determine if a charity does good?
3. What is it about cancer charities that do harm? Or in what way can a charity do harm?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Bliss Sage

1. Can you name any charities that you know do help (especially international ones concerned with human rights and humanitarian issues)?
2. How do you determine if a charity does good?
3. What is it about cancer charities that do harm? Or in what way can a charity do harm?

I appreciate the questions, Bliss. But to answer your questions adequately, it would require more follow-up time than I have available. I could write a lengthy article about any one of your questions, so this is too broad to address in a forum post.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I appreciate the questions, Bliss. But to answer your questions adequately, it would require more follow-up time than I have available. I could write a lengthy article about any one of your questions, so this is too broad to address in a forum post.

Ok.

I'm curious because I am drawn to humanitarian causes, but would rather do humanitarian/spiritual work, or, essentially, aid for the heart and mind and not for the body. I mean, I am not aware of any charity or non-profit that provides what I want to provide in the places I want to provide it. Some day I hope I might have a non-profit or charity of my own. If I'm able to organize it and its services, I don't think it would do harm...I hope it wouldn't...

I also wouldn't want to volunteer for a charity or non-profit organization which was damaging to those it is trying to help.

[missing]

Originally Posted by geekchic9

I usually love your responses, Steve, but this one was not an appropriate one for someone who has expressed that they have a plan for killing themselves. Even though what you say is true, if this person is not in a rational state of mind when they read your response, they could take it as more ammunition for why jumping off that bridge is somehow a good idea.

first off, I'm glad I gave you an idea for your blog, even though I personally don't think I'll find much use for it (i'll check it out anyway). I already sorta do some of the things you describe, only it's more along the lines of "i want to see who the final cylon is in battlestar galactica" or "i wanna see how many miles I can put on my car before it dies (222k and counting)" or, "I wanna see just what the hell is going to happen in 2012".

i didn't see an issue with Steve's reply, personally. Maybe it would be a problem for others, who knows. I disagree that people who do what he does need "special training" for crisis situations. That would dilute his message as far as I'm concerned. Perhaps some day he does say the "wrong" thing to somebody and it drives them over the edge. Should he have coddled them with a conditioned (and probably manipulative) response at the expense of truth? In the long run that does far more damage, IMO.

Anyway, I'm not suicidal, and thinking quite rationally at the moment. My "plan" (and why is jumping off a bridge a bad idea? you say this like it's a fundamental law of the universe, but I'm not convinced at all) will only be put into action if certain things get bad. I would prefer it not get that way, and there doesn't seem any reason it will any time soon, at least for the next few years. The thing that maybe was misunderstood by Steve was that I desire help. I'm not so sure I do. In fact, part of me wants the world to leave me alone, forget about me. I actually get annoyed that I have family members out there who are invested in my well being. I do what I can to disconnect, make myself scarce to them. Just in case I need to make a quick getaway, I feel it will be less painful for them if they slowly get used to the idea of me not being a part their life. Some may call this "selfish", and it is, but it's no more selfish than their concern for what I do with my life, as far as I'm concerned. It's just that their selfishness is socially sanctioned. Well, it's not like society holds the answers to what is right and what isn't anyway...

i know it goes against the trends of late in Steve's blog, but for the first time in a while I've been wondering if the "darkworker" path might be more appropriate for me. It's kind of twisted logic, but I feel I can contribute more to the world that way.

On the other hand, if you demonstrate that you care about the world, the world will take note and will start caring about you.

it's not true that i don't care about the world, but i get easily overwhelmed by it. I have to shut down my care as a defense mechanism, otherwise I don't function. When I stay focused on myself, things are more manageable. I look at the things in proximity to me and can find immense beauty. This isn't to say I would shut out the problems of the world/pay not attention, but instead of worrying about them, think about how the fact they exist can serve me. Conquer my fear of the world's problems, if that makes sense. Taking the love approach to it has not worked for me, and I doubt it ever will. If I could somehow find beauty in the world (and it's problems) and express that somehow, I can make my contribution. But if I'm too busy trying to love the world, I will not sense the beauty; I will be overwhelmed by the excess suffering. I can deal with my own suffering (i can follow my heartbreak that far), going beyond that is when I get problems.

Hmm, this might not be as clear as I hoped but it's the best I can do for now. I'm mostly just tossing out ideas here, maybe they are lousy ones. I'm not making any commitments.

btw, I'm an artist-type so don't worry about me stealing your money on wall street as a darkworker. ;o

actually, that might be an interesting topic; artists and polarity. Probably not Steve's area of expertise (the artist part) but even still he probably could say something interesting on it.

[Rose of Cairo]

Steve, this post of yours keeps spooking in my mind and bugging me. My greatest heartbreak, that's very easy: it's to see animals suffer.

Of course I'm also sorry when humans suffer, especially children - but somehow it doesn't touch me as emotionally as when it's about animals. Maybe because I know that children will grow up and when they're adults they still have the possibility to take responsibility for their life and change it for the better. I don't know, I cannot explain it rationally, and it doesn't mean animals are worth more than humans - but there is something deeply emotional that I have in my heart about animals. Seeing them suffer, being killed, beaten, yelled at, treated like objects, abused or any other form of animal suffering always terribly breaks my heart.

However, none of my goals is about animals! Of course I always promise to myself that when I have more money, I'll adopt some dogs, and I do small things like donating to an association that rescues animals and finds families to adopt them... in the past I volunteered at the animal shelter too. But all this is more like a luxury, you know. No "serious", career related, major goal in my life is about animals. Neither is my life purpose, as far as I was able to find out about it (I never was able to get any results with your method).

So this keeps bugging me. Shouldn't my life purpose, my greatest goals, and my greatest heartbreak point in the same direction?

I'm not an away-from person. Seeing animals suffer does not in the slightest motivate me. It drags me down. Volunteering at the animal shelter always depressed me. As soon as you've found a family for one cat, ten more arrive that got dumped just like waste... It makes me feel powerless. When I browse the website of this association, it makes me terribly sad that I cannot adopt at least ten of their dogs. But even if I adopted ten dogs every month the problem wouldn't be solved. All this is the biggest pain in my life. But it doesn't inspire me to take action (I just don't know what to do about it)

[Savage]

@Rose - Interestingly, I just did an interview yesterday where I said that if you have goals you'll pursue when you have a certain amount of money, then skip the money step and begin pursuing those goals right now. Waiting for money is a fear-based delay tactic.

Real goals require courage. If your goals require no courage, they're phony goals, not authentic ones. See Chapter 6.

How many more animals will suffer unnecessarily while you're doing something less important? You'll never tap into your deepest wellspring of inspiration and motivation if you turn away from your heartbreak instead of toward it.

I highly recommend you watch the video I Am an Animal with Ingrid Newkirk. You can rent it on Netflix if necessary. I think it will show you a possible path to consider.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

@Rose - Interestingly, I just did an interview yesterday where I said that if you have goals you'll pursue when you have a certain amount of money, then skip the money step and begin pursuing those goals right now. Waiting for money is a fear-based delay tactic.

I totally agree with you. But wouldn't it be completely irresponsible to adopt a dog and then not be able to feed him? I'm terribly broke at the moment. I also would love to give him nature and grass to live in, which is not possible as I live in the city for now.

Real goals require courage. If your goals require no courage, they're phony goals, not authentic ones. See Chapter 6.

Not read yet But chapter 3 already taught me today that most of my goals don't inspire me right now... (The idea of adopting a dog or taking care of animals totally inspires me right now, btw)

How many more animals will suffer unnecessarily while you're doing something less important?

Ugh! You're punching me in the stomach

You'll never tap into your deepest wellspring of inspiration and motivation if you turn away from your heartbreak instead of toward it.

Okay, this makes sense to me. I guess I'm afraid of the pain and powerlessness I feel when I turn toward it.

I highly recommend you watch the video I Am an Animal with Ingrid Newkirk. You can rent it on Netflix if necessary. I think it will show you a possible path to consider.

I know Ingrid Newkirk and PETA. I agree with them, and I dream of a "universal declaration of animal rights" The problem I have with PETA is that they fight "against". I have doubts about this being a good method. You give energy to what you fight against, because you give energy to what you focus on.

I don't know which possible path you mean. I'll watch the video. I very much hope there are no horrible scenes in it though. PETA material generally is full of horrible images. I can't stand watching those. They make me sick for days, I could scream and break everything around me if I watch them only for a few seconds. I guess there's a lot of available energy here, I'm a bomb when it comes to such topics.

[Savage]

I Am an Animal is a documentary about Ingrid and what drives her as a person. I don't think you need to fear watching it.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Real goals require courage. If your goals require no courage, they're phony goals, not authentic ones. See Chapter 6.

Okay, I read chapter 6 now. That's not what I need. The problem with goals about animals is not that I'm scared of them, it's that I just don't know which goals I could set. I don't know what to do about animal suffering.

The goals I had till now (unrelated to animals) do require courage, but it's dawning on me now that maybe it wasn't the right goals. I'm courageous but I don't know exactly what I want.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Okay, I read chapter 6 now. That's not what I need. The problem with goals about animals is not that I'm scared of them, it's that I just don't know which goals I could set. I don't know what to do about animal suffering.

The goals I had till now (unrelated to animals) do require courage, but it's dawning on me now that maybe it wasn't the right goals. I'm courageous but I don't know exactly what I want.

In that case it sounds like you might be getting stuck too much in your head. You don't need a crystal clear goal to get started. Just hold the intention for opportunities to help animals to come to you, and then start accepting what arrives.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

I always promise to myself that when I have more money, I'll adopt some dogs

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

if you have goals you'll pursue when you have a certain amount of money, then skip the money step and begin pursuing those goals right now. Waiting for money is a fear-based delay tactic.

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

I totally agree with you. But blablabla

I hate making excuses when I know perfectly well someone is right. So I decided to adopt a dog, now, no matter how broke I am. Period. Because that's the path with the heart.

Shortly after that, I was browsing the website of this animal rescue association I sometimes donate to, saw the picture of one of the dogs and immediately thought "That's the one!" I have a strong emotional response to this particular picture. So I applied to adopt him. I'm in contact with this association now, they examined me and my life situation and to my great relief accepted to let me take a dog. Now they're checking if this particular dog and I would be a good match for each other, especially if he's compatible with cats. I'm waiting for the answer. Wish me luck

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

In that case it sounds like you might be getting stuck too much in your head. You don't need a crystal clear goal to get started. Just hold the intention for opportunities to help animals to come to you, and then start accepting what arrives.

Okay, I'll do that. My #1 strength is Strategic, I usually like to know exactly where I'm heading, why, and how. But you're right, I'll just hold the intention to help animals, and to get clearer about the what and how

I already had an awesome idea popping into my mind: I saw myself living on a little farm with all kinds of animals, none of which would ever get killed of course, and teaching children how to communicate with those animals. I saw city kids learn how to understand the dog language, the cat language, how to lead a horse, etc...

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

In that case it sounds like you might be getting stuck too much in your head. You don't need a crystal clear goal to get started. Just hold the intention for opportunities to help animals to come to you, and then start accepting what arrives.

I think that's the same problem I was having with my goals. I was waiting for a specific vision.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I think that's the same problem I was having with my goals. I was waiting for a specific vision.

You don't get through the fog by waiting for a lighthouse to suddenly appear.