How can I do what I love and still live comfortably in the short term?

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by The Large Dude Scam

If you move to India you can live on $85/month. You don't need to earn a very huge sum to cover your living costs then, doing what you love.

Wow! $85/month...!! I could live there for several years with no financial concerns then! Bruce wanna move with me to India?

Too bad though that I'm feeling the call to move to Las Vegas instead!

[Michelle]

Thank you for the links. I will watch them all.

And my intuition says your challenge is not about taking something vague and making a plan. It is actually about being able to breathe. How's your breathing? Deep? Relaxed? Do your shoulders raise up when you breathe or do they stay put while letting your back, sides and tummy expand? Can you breathe deeply both through the nose and mouth? What happens when you stop to breathe?

Breathe.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Oh man, both the activator and strategic together in one person..! So you have the pull to really think deeply and see where each path goes - asking what if on all the paths and having a desire to see far into the future what your current action will lead to.....and at the very same time, you have a very strong pull to just get started right now no matter what just get started! Right? Seems like two conflicting desires?

Bingo.

Add individualisation (and learner) to the mix, and I both want effective solutions (strategic, achiever, activator), but crave interaction with people (in general, someone with talents primarily from the thinking and achievement domain come to effective solutions better without having to deal with people since such people--commonly inaccurately labeled as "introverts"--work best in environments where reality can be a direct extension of their thinking.

It's pretty challenging being this specific. To dilute the specificness, though, is to lose something very effective. That's why I'm so mindful of remaining true to it--I know what it can potentially do. It's a matter of blending the specificness with the general essence of specific ideas.

(Man it's great speaking with people who know StrengthsFinder. And yes, it is a language, just as real as English or Subjectivese. ).

* * *

Thank you, everyone--you've proven very helpful. The time is now for consideration and space. I get the feeling I'll be back, but not yet.

[Brutha]

I feel like you're so much in "broadcast" that you can't hear what I'm saying. I'm not feeling heard.

Me neither

Games are great because there is always a way to optimise something relative to your goal. There are also fixed rules. Once you know how the game world works, you can make some very clear decisions.

That's the difference between life and games. In life there are no fixed rules.

My impatience stems from my activator talent theme, and heh, only taking two steps at a time is inherently unnatural to me.

Does this strength frame helps you here in making an effective decision?

You seek a box of fixed rules in which you can make the decision of how to develop your life.
Unfortuantly you may need to act outside the box to make money doing something you love.

[Steve Pavlina]

Are you willing to do what you love even when it isn't comfortable?

If you want to do what you love and provide a lot of value to other people, you'll need to get used to spending a lot of time outside your comfort zone. Whatever disturbs, irks, or bothers you the most is what will come up for you to deal with. If a lack of money bothers you -- if that's the kind of obstacle that could make you quit -- then that's the test you'll need to pass.

You'll be ready to experience and enjoy financial "comfort" when you know that a lack of comfort won't be enough to make you quit doing what you love.

Whatever you fear, you must eventually face. If you don't fear it, you don't have to face it.

[DivaLion]

I once read a book about independent filmmaking (a passion of mine) in which the authors talked about how to survive that period when you have to do some kind of day job to make ends meet while you're working on your first big film project, without selling your soul or giving up on your dreams.

(And I know what you're talking about. When you're still figuring your soul out, and your clearest intention is to manifest some prosperity to carry you through, sometimes a little Occam's Razor is what you need. After all, if you're trying to put energy into divining your purpose, do you *also* need to be putting a lot of energy into finding wildly inventive sources of money, or do you just need to get a job for a little while? I think it's great when someone's spouse or family will support them through this time, but the spouse or family more often than not still does the joe job to make that possible, so I see nothing wrong with doing the joe job yourself if that's the quickest and easiest way to support yourself for a while.)

Anyway-- the authors advised you to tack "for my film" onto the end of every thought you had about your day job. "I have to go to work today, for my film." "I'm working overtime tonight, for my film." --etc. This was to keep you focused on the fact that your day job is meant to be a means to reach your goal of making a film, and that every minute you spend working needs to be offered in support of that goal. You keep yourself moving towards it, using the day job as a resource that gives you something you need right now in order to pursue that goal.

They also recommended getting a day job that had other resources you could use towards your goal. When I wrote my first play, I worked in a box office where I was freely encouraged to entertain myself in between phone calls, so I wrote the drafts there. They also let me use their copier if I provided the paper, saving me a LOT of money on scripts.

It's a bit mercenary, but I always look at my jobs in terms of what they can offer me besides a paycheck. Positive energy, valuable contacts, free stuff, borrowed equipment, training, free food-- most jobs can give you a lot, if you look at them as veins to be mined. I'm not suggesting doing anything against the rules or unethical. Just wring all you can from the experience. Take everything they'll give you. Make friends who'll take your calls after you quit. And as you figure out your goals, assess how your job can support them. If it can't, *really* can't, you can probably get a job that's at least a step closer. Just keep your priorities straight and make sure your goals come first.

Not every just-a-job has to be soul-killing or made of suck. My current job is not what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, but I enjoy it a lot, and enjoying it gives me energy to pursue the Soul Goals AND frees me from stressing about bills. It doesn't have to be a zero sum situation.

Definitely check out inspiredmoneymaker.com, blogged by Paul Piotowski, one of the fine members of this forum. His post about the "war chest" ought to really resonate with you, and I highly recommend his "Passion Project" e-book. I felt like I had my goals and purpose mostly figured out, but I still took a tremendous amount away from his exercises.

Good luck!!

[uberinquisitive]

Originally Posted by DivaLion

Not every just-a-job has to be soul-killing or made of suck. My current job is not what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, but I enjoy it a lot, and enjoying it gives me energy to pursue the Soul Goals AND frees me from stressing about bills. It doesn't have to be a zero sum situation.

Totally agree!

I used to have a corporate job where I travelled across the major financial capitals of Asia and Europe, doing international business. I learned so much from this job, and had the most amazing life experience.

During college (when I had no work history), I worked at Nordstrom for about 6 months, behind the make-up counter. I LOVE make-up and girly things, so I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I made quite a lot of money on sales commission (even though I worked part-time, I made something like $2,000 every two weeks), and there was a great employee discount.

Why not look for a job that will help you develop the skills you need for your life passion? Kill two birds with one stone.

[Michelle]

Hey Bruce, Just wanted to let you know that you were right about the Trombone Player Wanted film. It resonates with me, and I've subscribed to the podcast and ordered Marcus' book. Thanks!

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Are you willing to do what you love even when it isn't comfortable?

If you want to do what you love and provide a lot of value to other people, you'll need to get used to spending a lot of time outside your comfort zone. Whatever disturbs, irks, or bothers you the most is what will come up for you to deal with. If a lack of money bothers you -- if that's the kind of obstacle that could make you quit -- then that's the test you'll need to pass.

You'll be ready to experience and enjoy financial "comfort" when you know that a lack of comfort won't be enough to make you quit doing what you love.

Whatever you fear, you must eventually face. If you don't fear it, you don't have to face it.

This is the realisation I came to today. Your last two paragraphs amplified it with clarity, so thank you.

I have plenty of "strength" in that I can do practically anything, but in doing that I kind of hide my true self behind a shell because I fear exposing it.

I thought I could live with this incongruence, but the way forward seems to be without it. It's almost like polarity, but I think it will manifest a little differently. At least, I know I need to somehow face these challenge without losing myself while doing it.

It's kind of thrown me for a loop, heh. For a while I've wondered if my focus on personal development wasn't a deeper level avoidance behaviour. I think that's looking at it a little too black and white, but it would seem this is the one thing I've been avoiding in general. Months ago I wasn't ready to face something like this, but while it doesn't seem like it'll be easy, I know the challenge won't cause me to back away. I feel like I have more capacity.

Facing the challenge is easy; I can will myself to do practically anything. But then I guess that's not the real fear. Hmmm, I get the feeling that I need to drop my notion of separateness. As long as I relate to life as separate and something threatening, I can see how this fear will continue to surface. It's not something you can deal with, but a natural consequence of a very deep belief. And I can see how dropping it would bring about profound changes in the way I approach life, akin to what you experienced when you adopted subjective reality, Steve.

I'm not quite sure of the way forward, but as Dan Millman might say, "the first realisation of a warrior is not knowing." Truth, love, and power, and the realisation that I must eventually face what I fear will be helpful. But I think facing it is not a point you reach, but a practice. As always, clarity and perfection (in the ideal situation sense) don't seem to be prerequisites. It's the readiness displayed by moving forward. Reminds me of something Erin said:

I discovered that courage does not come before you take action, courage comes when you take responsibility and then decide you must take action.

I kind of like how life just steers me clear of money completely and says, "nope, you go do this now." And honestly, I'm not complaining. It at least feels more fulfilling than seeking sheets of plastic (we have plastic money in Australia) with old people on them. I guess it's just taken me a while to realise that.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Hey Bruce,

I surrendered myself completely to the mercy and goodwill of the universe. I gave up the struggle of trying to make money and stopped doing all work which didn't feel right inside. At this moment I make no money, but live more comfortably than I ever have and have all the time in the world for my spiritual and personal growth which I am confident will produce some beautiful fruits in the outside world with time.

Yep do what Michelle has suggested. I did the exact same thing and I am seeing great results so far. Read here Job Quitters' Club

It's a hard process to learn, but I guess I looked at all the great little coincidences that were happening in my life and I came to a relisation that something was looking after me. Things like I would say to myself "boy there is no way I will get a job offer now, I had so many out-of-the-blue offers, but it just would be impossible for something to happen now, and then the next day I will get an email saying "do you want some work". This has happened to me so many times it's not funny. So I took the leap and let go of my fears and just went for what I really wanted. So far so good

Still I understand what you are saying. I have current design skills that can help finance my new career, so that's kind of helpful.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Someone sent me a PM, quoting this:

Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg

. Better to be authentic (although me being authentic--fully authentic--isn't something I'm sure I can do... I try my best, but there's a side--that I've mentioned in my above posts--that I'm yet to show. Glimpses, maybe, but not fully unrestrained).

They asked me if I'd be more authentic if I wasn't posting under my real name. I thought it'd be useful to post my response in this thread. If the person who sent me the PM wants to come forward and talk about it in this thread, directly or indirectly, that's ok with me.

This is my response:

* * *

While I am more mindful of being specific because people can tie events and names to things, no, I'm as authentic as I'd be with an alias.

I'm generally not specific, anyway, since it helps me have a measure of control. That's something ingrained in my personality, but perhaps some aspects of it I could work on.

When I was young I was very different to I am now... much more open and for lack of a better word, loving. My personality was the same, but I didn't have the resistance to that aspect of myself.

Going through school and all that kind of took it's toll, and I now have two sides: the very sensitive, very nurturing, very caring side, and a side that has more darkworker-like traits; that's hardened and "strong" (it's not really strength, just denying aspects of yourself so you go kind of neutral; it certainly makes you less present and "alive" in the energy sense). I never became a darkworker, but it's at least a mindset I'm familiar with and used to a degree for a period of years. I never got lost in it, though. My "core"--the side I hide--was always there to keep me honest and true to myself.

I thought these two aspects were parts of my personality a while back, but eventually I learned that it was more of a love and fear thing. Since then I've made lots of progress on being more myself, and more kind and caring, which comes naturally to me, but I have a lot of trouble fully letting go of my "shields"--my defenses--since, well, without them, it's just my true self and the world. That's inherently scary to me, since I know what people are like.

Without my "shields", I'd be absolutely honest, embrace my compassion, and love life unconditionally. (Absolute honesty means I'd express myself fully, all the time, every time, and be in alignment with that. I'm inherently optimistic and positive, so that works well, but I kind of take a beating for it--even now.) My issue has always been that it's very uncomfortable being like that with people around. People, honestly, are brutal. They may not intend to be so, but this side of me is very sensitive, so if I allow myself to fully be myself, it's going to be a bit rough--or so I imagine. But I also see that great power could come from that, since I'd finally be owning my power instead of neutralising it by ignoring emotion (something I don't do much any more) and avoiding what I am naturally drawn towards.

Again though, I fear what living like that could be like. E.g. Complete honesty combined with love probably means I'll get trampled by many people, mostly because they don't align with themselves. So I guess I'm holding myself back, because of the fear other people embody.

I can see how enormously counterproductive that is, but the alternative seems pretty uncomfortable, so I shirk away from it since that's the easier option.

You could say that I don't accept the full package, which is why I don't own my power, which is why I'm manifesting such issues as lack of being able to do what I love, which isn't really what I love if I look at it. It's what I "enjoy", but it is isolated from people. When I'm truly honest with myself, I know I want to help people. That doesn't mean I want to directly help them, since that's not where my talents really lie, but I care greatly for people, animals, and things in general, and that is really what I want to nurture. I just see no way of reasonably doing that, but first, I guess I have to own my power before I can help. And to do that, I need to let go of what stops me from truly being myself.

Postscript

Posting this post is a good example of what I talked about. E.g. I can "will" myself to post this and be direct and honest (I'm always honest, but I control my degree of directness to maintain control, which I use to protect myself), but I still fear the reaction people will have by doing it, or rather, putting myself out there where I'm vulnerable, so I kind of take the action, but I don't bring my full self along with it. That seems to create non-ideal results in terms of an effective lightworker.

It's easy to do stuff and take action; it's much harder to fully align your entire being with what you do. But that seems like it's what I must do (scary!).

I'd feel better if I had someone to do it with, and I even have someone in mind, but I'm kind of frozen when it comes to "doing it" in a way that I'm actually fully aligned with, and not just doing the action part while not bringing the rest along for the ride.

Interestingly, I show this side of myself to people who are close to me, but only when I know I can trust that I won't suffer to some degree. To the degree I think I will suffer, I hold back. One of my greatest desires is a someone who will accept me as I am, so I can fully be myself.

Perhaps the answer is to let go of the relationships where I can't fully be myself, since they aren't worth holding onto if I can't fully be myself with them, but I honestly don't see how that can be possible. As in, I can't even envision it (which is unusual, since I can usually imagine things to a certain degree). Unless it's more of a "before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water" thing where *I* change, not necessarily all the people (although I imagine my relationships would be very different if I fully embraced myself).

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by ellie

Yep do what Michelle has suggested. I did the exact same thing and I am seeing great results so far. Read here Job Quitters' Club

It's a hard process to learn, but I guess I looked at all the great little coincidences that were happening in my life and I came to a relisation that something was looking after me. Things like I would say to myself "boy there is no way I will get a job offer now, I had so many out-of-the-blue offers, but it just would be impossible for something to happen now, and then the next day I will get an email saying "do you want some work". This has happened to me so many times it's not funny. So I took the leap and let go of my fears and just went for what I really wanted. So far so good

Still I understand what you are saying. I have current design skills that can help finance my new career, so that's kind of helpful.

Yep, heh, that scares me, too.

"Quitting" my part-time retail job would essentially burn the ships. I'd *have* to do something in this situation, which I probably knew subconsciously meant facing my fear, so I've kind of avoided that, opting for the more comfortable route.

I was thinking of quitting anyway, but I wasn't *really* quitting, in that I was probably going to get a similar replacement to fill the void, so to speak. That isn't quitting; that's just more of the same.

Without internal changes, this situation will keep manifesting.

This thread is like, pretty intense.

[codefreeze]

Actually, the idea of moving to India is not as crazy as it sounds

I personally know lots of guys who have move to Thailand and the low cost of living there has enabled them to live their dream. Many have started businesses and websites that they would never have been able to do if they'd stayed in the US or the West in general.

One of my friends started an electronics company. Another helps companies write presentations and is a science fiction author (his passion). Another friend runs a dive school (his passion is scuba)...the list goes on.

Maybe it wouldn't work in this case, but reducing your financial requirements by an order of magnitude can throw up some interesting possibilities.

[Jerigan]

This thread has very nearly left me speechless. While reading each of your posts, Bruce, all that's going through my head is "these are my words". I completely understand your situation.

It's somewhat comforting to see that someone else is having the same problems. Now it's just a matter of finding the solutions... and thanks to this thread I'm starting to consider a couple I hadn't before. I'll post more on that once I've managed to get my thoughts back together.

[Neutral]

Bruce,

I want to get back to the "doing what you love" problem.

I read Steve's "Find Your Purpose in 20 minutes" post three years ago, just recently I've answered the question. Steve underestimates the degree of awareness you need to even answer the question. He leaves out a lot. This question remains the most popular question here, and of Steve as a result. I'd like to take a stab at it one day, when I have time to get around to reflecting and writing about it.

Figuring out my purpose, I created a schematic of myself and the universe, as they stood. My "context" (Steve's term). More importantly, I asked myself, what did I want myself, and the universe to become.

Just developing my context killed off careers, activities, goals, and whole human endeavors I used to think were important. It was a growth process in itself. You have to delimiting your options.

How to create an accurate context is beyond this post. Even Steve never really explained how he did this.

Developing self-knowledge is the other part. It's hard to know when you know enough about yourself to make a decision. But it seems like you have some good self-knowledge.

I would look at these meta-level issues before concerning myself about the practical stuff. And also work through those conflicting feelings (or/and thoughts?) pointed out by the others here.

If you were clearer on these issues, what short-term job to take would be an easier decision.

For example:
I want to be a philosopher on technology. I want to speak, write, learn new ideas, and meet people who care about what I do. But I'll need to move and get a job to sustain myself, as I pursue this.

Working at a bookstore, library, or a university, where I may have time to read, meet people, and get a discounts, would help me. At least I can kill off my subgoals.

Or I could take jobs where I can benefit in other areas of personal development, like health. Why not a health food clinic or gym?

Also, after figuring out what you want to do, it becomes clearer where the best place to go to do it is.

Moving to a place where people care about the same things you do, is the next decision. When you move, you'll get to know people who will offer you related jobs, while you work on your main bit.

I hope I've addressed your concerns.

P.S. I applaud you, especially as a moderator, for sharing yourself like this. It's easy to forget with their authority, that they are "ones with problems" too.