A necessary selfishness for lightworkers?

[NDavid]

Here's some insights I realised recently about polarising (based on experimenting with the two energies) and why I think some people (myself included) are indecisive about which way to polarise. I think it has to do with a sense of inner power.

A Darkworker has the belief of their own superiority and because of the selfish nature of their thoughts, an inner sense of power is easy to develop and feel-this is what attracts and seduces people to that path, particularly those who had a low sense of self worth to start with. It's a very self empowering feeling.

A Lightworkers inner sense of power isn't obvious, since the focus is on other people, to me it seems like unless the lightworker has developed a strong sense of inner power, then their power becomes dependent on others and they form co-dependent relationships with all they try to reach. Then your power can seemingly be taken away by the other persons response/rejection. So, I feel that a lightworker cannot be effective unless they develop alot of love for the self first, because you can only see in others that which you see in yourself, so if you don't have compasssion for yourself, then how can you have it for others? You can't give someone something you don't have. This has been a big stumbling block for me and I believe that some of the others who oscillate between darkworking and lightworking are having the same problem - the desire to give and live like a lightworker, but also the need that sense of inner strength that's so apparent in darkworkers.

It's my belief that a lightworkers power comes from an inner connection to Source/God/Love and their focus is on sharing that source with the world through a medium of their choice. That way, there's a sense of empowerment (through connection to source) but this power, though primarily focused on other people is not dependent on other people.

To me, this seems to take the alluring part of the darkworker path and bring it to the lightworker path and one can feel a sense of power/love/Godliness in others as well as in oneself.

So now my question, what's the best way you've found to connect with source and feel that sense of power/love?

[ArthurHung]

So know my question, what's the best way you've found to connect with source and feel that sense of power/love?

Doing what you love, talking to the people that you love, and growing in your sense of compassion and empathy towards those that you don't (initially).

[NDavid]

Originally Posted by ArthurHung

Doing what you love, talking to the people that you love, and growing in your sense of compassion and empathy towards those that you don't (initially).

In my experience this has been good to develop a connection with those I love, but falls far short of developing that strong sense of connection to source, or that burning sense of inner power and motivation

[Zwynd]

To avoid the pains of rejection I'd assume a Lightworker would have to reach out very far and love a LOT of people. Then if one drop in the ocean disappears, it's not so much of an impact.

As for a Darkworker, I'd assume the opposite. They are the ocean but when they start sacrificing their values and motivations for others, they pour out their droplet (creative energies) to the other being and eventually the DW dries up (how fast depends on how deep their inner ocean/power has become and how quickly they can stopper it.)

As for love itself... I don't believe that feeling so strongly and certainly not as often as I 'should.' It doesn't wash over me or give me a great sense of concern for a being. I know when I should 'act' loving and say kind words, but I don't actually -feel- the happy feeling to do so.

"Oh, it is a hug, kind words are needed. Don't forget to pat them on the back as well."

Seems robotic, no?

Motivation, creativity, and inspiration however... they can throw me into a state of euphoria some days to where the casual observer would definitely reason that I've gone mad. I would definitely say if it were possible for me to truly feel love for anything, it would be for my own sense of inner exploration and creativity.

[NDavid]

That's an interesting insight into the darkworker mindset.

Originally Posted by Zwynd

To avoid the pains of rejection I'd assume a Lightworker would have to reach out very far and love a LOT of people. Then if one drop in the ocean disappears, it's not so much of an impact.

To the best of my understanding, this is still a drakworker mindset, because it's still placing a set value on people (the idea that if you have alot, then one loss doesn't matter). I think that a lightworker wouldn't feel much of a sense of ejection becuase they're already connected to source/love. It'd be more like a feeling of accepting that the person isn't vibing on the same level and is on their own path, and having understanding for that person instead of placing the needy expectation on them of accepting you.

Originally Posted by Zwynd

As for a Darkworker, I'd assume the opposite. They are the ocean but when they start sacrificing their values and motivations for others, they pour out their droplet (creative energies) to the other being and eventually the DW dries up (how fast depends on how deep their inner ocean/power has become and how quickly they can stopper it.)

Yeah, that sounds like the other extreme, nice analogy. But if from my understanding of Steve's post, the darkworker has to pour out their creative energies to others some times to pay their karmic debt.

Originally Posted by Zwynd

"Oh, it is a hug, kind words are needed. Don't forget to pat them on the back as well."

Seems robotic, no?

I suppose if you're in the darkworker mindset and don't feel genuine love for them then yeah it'd definitely be robotic. For me, there've been times when I felt highly motivated when feeling compassion for someone.

Originally Posted by Zwynd

Motivation, creativity, and inspiration however... they can throw me into a state of euphoria some days to where the casual observer would definitely reason that I've gone mad. I would definitely say if it were possible for me to truly feel love for anything, it would be for my own sense of inner exploration and creativity.

I feel this state of euphoria at times when I realise new universal truths or when I've actually felt connected to source. I find that at those times I feel the sense of euphoria and motivation to the point where I have to share it with someone.

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by NDavid

To the best of my understanding, this is still a drakworker mindset, because it's still placing a set value on people (the idea that if you have alot, then one loss doesn't matter).

Hmm, you have a point there.

I think that a lightworker wouldn't feel much of a sense of ejection becuase they're already connected to source/love. It'd be more like a feeling of accepting that the person isn't vibing on the same level and is on their own path, and having understanding for that person instead of placing the needy expectation on them of accepting you.

Ahh, I guess that would be it; feeling loved regardless of if someone goes down a different path or 'vibe.' I personally don't care if someone goes a different path, in fact, I hope they don't bother going down mine. I hate sharing. =P

Yeah, that sounds like the other extreme, nice analogy. But if from my understanding of Steve's post, the darkworker has to pour out their creative energies to others some times to pay their karmic debt.

Sort of like paying taxes, eh? Hmm, interesting. I seemed to have missed that part.

Whether or not you could call me a DW, I know in my own life my 'karma' or way of thinking used to be hell. Everything came at me and I've almost died many, many times in my life. Eventually I said 'screw you' to the world and started doing what I could to make my own life safer/better without worrying about the feelings of others. Things changed and my health/mind started improving.

I do help others occasionally however as it was often easier to share a bit than to get caught and explain why I took all the cake for myself.

I suppose if you're in the darkworker mindset and don't feel genuine love for them then yeah it'd definitely be robotic. For me, there've been times when I felt highly motivated when feeling compassion for someone.

I can't feel love. Well actually, that's a lie. I've been able to feel love from myself (to others) strongly maybe around 10 times in my life. It never lasted long, though.

The last time I felt love was a half a year ago when I was petting my house bunny. She nuzzled up to me without any expectation in the world other than "Pet me, now!" I loved that in her and I felt very happy for her as she knew exactly what she wanted and knew how to get it. More so that she felt I could provide her with the happiness.

Never felt that again, even though she's given the same demands.

Interestingly enough, the other day I could actually feel how a human being loved me from a non-logical route. As in, they couldn't explain how they loved me and I was still aware of their feeling. It felt kind of neat to be aware of it but I still couldn't turn around and give that feeling back, even if I tried. If there was such a thing as a love muscle for others I'm sure mine is like this big [ ]

I feel this state of euphoria at times when I realise new universal truths or when I've actually felt connected to source. I find that at those times I feel the sense of euphoria and motivation to the point where I have to share it with someone.

Most of the times I feel euphoria I can't really share it with anyone, especially in words. I don't really bother to anymore. I may try and share it in actions via creating something or in some cases messing up/breaking old things/habits.

Thanks for your thoughts, NDavid.

[NDavid]

no worries zwynd, we have different viewpoints on life but because of that I gained some interesting new insights from your posts. It's interesting to me that once you said 'screw you' to the world, you gained a greater sense of peace. Incidentally, consider that even though you made that choice, you're now interacting here with people, even though it's for your own gain, you're still providing value and you're not closed off to people (like I would wager you were when you first said screw you to the world). Must be what Steve's talking about when he said the paths will eventually converge. Thanks for your insights :-)

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by NDavid

no worries zwynd, we have different viewpoints on life but because of that I gained some interesting new insights from your posts. It's interesting to me that once you said 'screw you' to the world, you gained a greater sense of peace.

At first, that decision scared the heck out of me because it was completely different from my usual style of thinking but once I really let go it was like all those negative physical/emotional and unlucky events suddenly up and let go of me as well. Sure I have some bad days but nothing as remotely bad as it was on a daily basis before making that choice.

Incidentally, consider that even though you made that choice, you're now interacting here with people, even though it's for your own gain, you're still providing value and you're not closed off to people (like I would wager you were when you first said screw you to the world).

Indeed!
If what I say or do benefits someone else then I've nothing against it. I may put myself first but I've little desire to make others suffer by my deliberate actions since it would likely end up with me in trouble and that would only bog me down with legal stuff.

I tend to see Lightworker/Darkworker more as Buddhas and Arhats. One seeks enlightenment for all beings while the other seeks it only for themselves.

Must be what Steve's talking about when he said the paths will eventually converge. Thanks for your insights :-)

Could very well be!*nods*