| | |||||||
| Steve Pavlina Discuss ideas, articles, and podcasts from StevePavlina.com. New threads are automatically generated for Steve's latest blog posts. |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| | #151 (permalink) |
| Administrator Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 4,593
|
Just for the record, regarding my mastermind group.... We don't sit around and share feelings. First we write down our intention like this for example: "I, Erin Pavlina, ask the Mastermind for support in being focused and clear as I set my goals this week." Everyone lists their intentions and we go over them and make sure the person is a vibrational match for this desire or if we can detect a block or a disharmony between what they say they want and how they actually feel about having it. We reword a person's intention if necessary to make it more clear and concise. In the beginning of a meeting we share our wins for the week. "This week my boss gave me a raise." Or "This week I learned to stand up for myself at a toastmaster contest." Etc. We never share our problems. That's forbidden. We don't want the meeting to turn into a pity party. If someone is having a major problem they will bring it up after the meeting to those who are able to stay a little longer. Our meetings last one hour. It's a very positive, uplifting, empowering experience. |
| | |
| | #152 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Somerville, Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 73
|
Since Steve brought fear into the conversation, I'd like so suggest that being afraid of something doesn't automatically make it a good thing! Being afraid of hurting someone else is a healthy fear that I'd certainly prefer that people, including men, respect. So, perhaps I might rewrite Steve's version just a bit: 7. Face your fears.I have a theory that there are always three options when confronted with something: go toward it, go away from it, and seek more information on it. And, in my experience (though I must confess, I am a woman, so this may not apply to you, if you don't want to be like me!) unless something is immediately dangerous (such as a large, fast moving truck, or a bucket full of poop and used heroin needles falling from the sky in your direction) then that third option, seeking more information, is a great one. You can ask yourself, "Why am I afraid of this?" and you might come up with some good insight. You might still decide that whatever you fear is indeed something you want to avoid like the plague. But you also might discover that what you really were afraid of is change. And we all know that since change is inevitable, it's best to embrace it, and do whatever we can to make that change positive. So yeah, it's fine to be afraid of sharp pointy things, but there's no point in being afraid of change. Heh. Get it. No point! Sorry, I get silly sometimes. I hang out with too many literary geeks, who's bad pun habits have rubbed off on me. Peace, Love, and Bicycles, Turil |
| | |
| | #154 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: May 2007 Location: in your fridge
Posts: 2,018
|
Analysis leads to paralysis turtle! Analysing things you're afraid of makes them unbearable. How do you get into the cold sea? Do you dip your toe and draw out the "suffering"? NO! You jump right in! Anyway, that's enough analysis from me! |
| | |
| | #156 (permalink) | ||
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
| Quote:
Quote:
Saying that we should do anything we're afraid of is very foolish. Fear is vital to our survival. However, fear about non-survival related situations doesn't necessitate that we face that 'fearful' situation. For example, I may fear running naked down a busy street, however I have no desire to face that particular fear. | ||
| | |
| | #157 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 458
|
I think the list of "how to be a woman" should be exactely the same... Values like courage and loyalty are things all humans should strive for, not just the male ones. I for one, will not start whimpering and hide in my womanly tower waiting for some big strong man to rescue me, when confronted by an obstacle. I'll face my fear and kick its ass!(and then ask the big strong man out on a date, hehehe |
| | |
| | #158 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NYC Public Library
Posts: 358
|
I think the woman's list needs to include an item that says something to the effect of "quit over-compensating for a perceived inferiority inherent in femininity by pretending to be tough, cool, butch, or some other way commonly perceived by society as masculine/unfeminine."
|
| | |
| | #159 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Darkness / The Never
Posts: 1,673
|
Nice one Bitsy. I really enjoy following this conversation because it tells alot about people. I personally still think that men and women have very different strengths, and just because Steve got there first with the Man list, doesn't mean that he's sexist, or stereotyping, he's a man, and all over the world Men read his blog, and Men connected with it. Whats the problem?
|
| | |
| | #160 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 458
| Quote:
| |
| | |
| | #161 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kelowna B.C. Canada
Posts: 64
| The bravest thing a man can do is to sense, and act, on the "so-called" feminine qualities he experiences within himself. The most productive thing a woman can do is to experience, and act on, the masculine within her. Men and women are different. It is empowering and proper to celebrate those differences. It is equally important to recognize that creation happens through the interaction of differences between us -- and also within us. A truth is always true on all levels. That's how you know that something is true. So if you accept that creation results from the interaction of differences between men and women, then you must accept that creation is catalyzed also by differences within ourselves as individuals. True creative living is sparked by an easy and powerful interplay between the masculine and feminine within each of us, and then extended outward as dominantly masculine or feminine individuals, where we create through the interplay of those outwardly expressed differences. We should never forget that despite the desire to be a man, or to be a woman, we are also an integral part of each other in these ways. John Self Help for Sensitive Souls — Zen-Moments Last edited by JohnR; 05-12-2008 at 06:53 PM. |
| | |
| | #162 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: France -> Germany -> France -> Brazil
Posts: 3,430
| Quote:
Quote:
I suppose it's some energy thing. I'd love to know if it's more efficient to be energetically balanced, or to fully embrace our dominant energy mode. Also, which path is more fulfilling, and is the most efficient one also the most fulfilling one? Looks like we cannot discuss this, so I'm just going to try it out for myself. | ||
| | |
| | #163 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NYC Public Library
Posts: 358
| Quote:
I feel that women, more than men, are responsive to superficial matters, like what others think and feel about them and end up donning facades or a certain personality to veil who they really are inside and so that they are perceived in the way they want others to perceive them, which is not their genuine selves, in fact, I think by doing that, they may even lose touch with who they really are inside, or may even don such a personality to avoid confronting themselves. | |
| | |
| | #164 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
| Quote:
Thus, stereotyping or creating 'ideals' or whatever you want to call it can influence someone's personality in the sense that they become socially conditioned or feel pressured into conforming to the stereotype. This could be argued as negative, and pressuring someone to conform to a stereotype of masculinity/femininity becasue they are a man/woman is deemed sexist. Thus Steve's article, titled 'how to be a man' implies that any behaviour contrary to that listed in the article is not 'manly'. This could be seen as imposing a stereotype of masculinity on men, pressuring them to act a certain way, and pressuring females to act contrary, which I consider to be sexist. Last edited by Spartan; 05-12-2008 at 10:46 PM. | |
| | |
| | #165 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Darkness / The Never
Posts: 1,673
|
Actually Spartan, I happen to believe that no matter what I see, hear or read, I don't believe it unless it agrees with my common sense. So basically your telling me that I should ignore my common sense and instead trust some external measurment device on what truly is male or female. Rose, maybe being male or female is more than just having a penis or vagina...maybe its something deeper. What then? Do we deny the parts of our brain we don't like? The parts that don't agree with the Politically correct gender equality world we live in, in other words...the world where we are all androgynous or deemed sexists by people like Spartan who doesn't show they understand the difference between sexism and differences in qualities. |
| | |
| | #167 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
| Quote:
Last edited by Spartan; 05-12-2008 at 08:05 PM. | |
| | |
| | #169 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NYC Public Library
Posts: 358
| Quote:
I think there is a difference far deeper than body, superficial behaviors and personality which differentiates a man from a woman. I think the way they process information is different, I feel certain there is a difference in minds. This is an intuition, so I won't provide any proof (although I could send a resumé of all my other intuitions that have been correct Despite all of that, I really, really, really, really believe that any female who knows herself, for example, as deeply as I know myself, would never take issue with this...issue. I know who I am, I know how I am, I know what statements apply to me and which ones don't. I like how I am in this area of my life, I like the different qualities I have and enjoyments I have that are considered feminine and I like to be considered feminine, this is how I am and I like it. Whatever enjoyments or qualities I may have that may be considered unfeminine, I can't even think of any off-hand, but there must be, but I simply don't think of them as being masculine, but rather as being a part of me and if I like them, I like them and I like that part of me. So what is there to get offended at when I read Steve's article? Nothing. Get to know yourself. | |
| | |
| | #170 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 458
| Quote:
All male inhabitants of the Netherlands: I do not want to date your jerky, testosteron oozing alter-ego. I want you. Just you. No one else. | |
| | |
| | #171 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 5
|
I really enjoyed this article but kept re-reading #2, "Put your relationships second.", over and over again. I just had a hard time making sense of it. Steve writes, "A man who values individuals over his own integrity is a wretch..." seems to imply that I am either not "whole" or "complete" if I place my family first in my life, or that I am being immoral by doing so? The second definition doesn't seem to fit, but the first one also begs another question. What is to say that a man has to sacrifice part of his "wholeness" by putting his family first in his life. This assumes that men need to be somewhat selfish in life in order to be complete. Personally this is hard for me to swallow. I accepted a lifelong commitment to my wife and to be a father. Within those commitments come a level of responsibility to each other and our children. If I don't put my wife, or children first most of the time, who will? Sure, I sacrifice freedom on some level but I made that choice, I accepted that responsibility in exchange for the joy of a loving relationship and fatherhood. To me, a man is exhibiting integrity when he lives congruent with the commitments he has made. |
| | |
| | #172 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: France -> Germany -> France -> Brazil
Posts: 3,430
| Quote:
Society subtly pressures people into using male energy as their dominant mode if they're men, and female energy if they're women. I don't think this is very efficient. For people who are already naturally functioning this way, it's not a problem, but for the others 1) it can be extremely disempowering and 2) why should they? I just decided to rename those energies. Calling them "male" and "female" reinforces gender stereotypes I find limiting and don't agree with, so I chose other names for them. I'll call them "square energy" and "round energy". Maybe it's not very good words, but they translate what I feel when confronted to them. I'm going to polarize square, then polarize round, and then try to keep both in balance, to find out what feels better for me. In the past I was very unhappy not to be able to be a "real woman". I've tried to be more "feminine" but it didn't feel right at all. Then I accepted my "masculine" side and now I feel much, much better. Now I'm going to forget about man and woman and just concentrate on the energies. Looking forward to seeing what happens. | |
| | |
| | #173 (permalink) |
| Master Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5,988
|
If you put your family first in your values hierarchy, you're saying that they come before all other loyalties, including commitment to truth, integrity, and unconditional love. You're saying you'd be willing to lie, cheat, and steal on their behalf if necessary. Such a person can't be trusted. How can you trust someone who puts loyalty to individuals ahead of truth? It's like a member of the mob saying, "Ya gotta do dis for da family." Criminal gangs have similar loyalties. A person who has no higher ideals than loyalty to family is a wretch. |
| | |
| | #174 (permalink) | |
| Master Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 5,988
| Quote:
Is it better to write a potentially wrong article like this, or is it to better to keep silent? Do we experience more growth when we disagree or when we agree? Keep in mind that in writing such articles and seeing the resulting feedback, I grow as well. And that in turn helps me refine ideas that I can share again in different forms. I think for all of us, the path of growth requires a willingness to risk being wrong in order to uncover greater truths. | |
| | |
| | #175 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 14
|
This blog post is a great summery of the book The Way Of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida For the how to be a women, go read his Dear Lover book. |
| | |
| | #176 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: France -> Germany -> France -> Brazil
Posts: 3,430
|
I'm definitely very happy that you wrote this article, Steve. Disagreeing with you forced me to think about it and now I'm going to experiment with these energies. So you tremendously kicked my ass and I'm very grateful to you for that. I know I'm being potentially wrong too, especially because I don't know much about energies. That's fine, because of #3. Nonetheless, I'll defend my viewpoint to the end, because of #4 and #8 |
| | |
| | #177 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
| Quote:
| |
| | |
| | #178 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
|
Sorry Rose, but I don't like all this talk of 'energies'. The word energy used in this context only confuses people. Energy is a strictly scientific concept, thus talking about male/female energies is meaningless. Why not just use the word masculine/feminine? Instead of saying one possesses 'male energy', why not just say one possesses masculine traits (in the traditional sense)? There's no need to complicate things by adding the word energy.
Last edited by Spartan; 05-12-2008 at 11:17 PM. |
| | |
| | #179 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Australia
Posts: 225
| Quote:
Which connects up to the explanation for why an individual shouldn't be given higher loyalty over Truth. An individual is prone to unawareness of his/her actions, while Truth just is and complete. At least that's what I got out of this, my understanding feels a little more deeper now. | |
| | |
| | #180 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: England
Posts: 422
| Quote:
edit: You should probably add a footnote, explaining that all of the traits listed could also apply to women. Last edited by Spartan; 05-12-2008 at 11:39 PM. | |
| | |
| Bookmarks |
« Previous Thread
|
Next Thread »
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
| | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| Do blog carnivals work for you/your blog? | Ali from The Office Diet | Technology & Technical Skills | 10 | 12-16-2008 09:50 AM |
| Ask the Oracle and Other New Blog Features (Blog) | Savage | Steve Pavlina | 13 | 03-18-2008 08:49 AM |
| Blog at homepage or in .com/blog/ folder? Your thoughts? | Holistic Star | Technology & Technical Skills | 6 | 11-06-2007 06:55 PM |
| Increase blog traffic: Blog Critics? | Jonathan | Technology & Technical Skills | 0 | 06-13-2007 01:10 PM |
| Blog Topics (Blog) | Erin Pavlina | Erin Pavlina | 32 | 02-23-2007 02:51 PM |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:07 AM.




