"Ask Steve - Sex" the follow up

[Neutral]

In the post Ask Steve - Sex, you talk about how you are struggling to find a new mindset about sexually intimacy. Specifically, about how you could express emotional intimacy in new way. You explore the options of using of tantra to deepen connection, embracing polyamory and channeling the sex energy into other mediums.

Did you ever solve this problem?

[munish]

Originally Posted by Neutral

Specifically, about how you could express emotional intimacy in new way.

Emotional intimacy could also be achieved by holding the hand or by kissing , you don't need to have sex to be intimate .

Tantra and all that, is B.S.

[PrimaryErn]

Tantra and all that, is B.S.

It's awfully FUN BS!

I assume you have that opinion from a point of experience?

[sheffy4]

I admit I'm no tantra expert, but I don't think it's BS. Boiled down, isn't tantra (in regards to sex) mostly about being super aware of your lover and the world around you, so that even the slightest touch (like holding hands) can be extremely pleasurable. I think a lot of people would have better sex lives if they practiced tantric awareness.

[munish]

Originally Posted by PrimaryErn

I assume you have that opinion from a point of experience?

You don't need to burn your hands, to know what does it mean to be.

[The David]

Originally Posted by munish

You don't need to burn your hands, to know what does it mean to be.

What part of tantra is comparable to burning skin?

[Lallymac]

Intimacy requires time together were all lifes pressures stay outside the door and you can just be together enjoying, exploring each other. Were past and future don't exist, only this moment. Were you can laze in long stretched out moments of closeness. Time where you can talk and share your deeper thoughts. Time to love and nurture each other, wash each others bodies and groom each other, laugh a lot. Make love slowly and come back for more. It's in intimacy that technique is no longer required because you naturally respond to each other desires.
It's a rare commodity in this fast pace world.
Lallymac

[Neutral]

Please stay on topic.

Obviously anyone can share their viewpoint on these issues but I specifically wanted Steve to follow up his "Ask Steve - Sex" post.

If you read his post, Steve wanted to use tantra as a way to deepen emotion intimacy but it felt too sexual for him. He thinks about expanding intimacy with more people, sort of a polyamorous route. He also ponders the option of expressing intimacy in a more abstract way, through another medium.

If you have thoughts on the above issues, please express them.

[munish]

Originally Posted by The David

What part of tantra is comparable to burning skin?

That is just an analogy.

[munish]

Originally Posted by Neutral

Please stay on topic.

Steve wanted to use tantra as a way to deepen emotion intimacy but it felt too sexual for him.

If you have thoughts on the above issues, please express them.

I think you have not read what he said.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I read a book on tantra earlier this year, but I haven’t really pursued it. Much of it seems to deal with deepening the physical pleasure, but that’s less important to me,

Partly this is because my whole life has become so pleasurable that the pleasure of sex isn’t comparatively as big .

As one Tibetan monk said, “When you’re coming all the time, it [sex] doesn’t make any difference

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Rechannel it. I noticed that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to more consciously channel my sexual energy into creative pursuits instead of being preoccupied with sex

[Neutral]

Wiio's Laws in effect.

[coLLege kid07]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

As one Tibetan monk said, “When you’re coming all the time, it [sex] doesn’t make any difference

hmm erotic

[Keith]

Originally Posted by sheffy4

I admit I'm no tantra expert, but I don't think it's BS. Boiled down, isn't tantra (in regards to sex) mostly about being super aware of your lover and the world around you, so that even the slightest touch (like holding hands) can be extremely pleasurable. I think a lot of people would have better sex lives if they practiced tantric awareness.

You're thinking of tantric sex which is a very small part of the Tantra spiritual path.

[PrimaryErn]

I too would like to discuss the idea of rechanneled sex energy. I've got a very active libido, both from a spiritual sexuality (i.e. liking intimacy, physical affection, etc) and a physical one (I get very uncomfortable if I don't orgasm at least once in a 24 hour period - I'm on a nearly 40 y/o man - and I don't mean adolescent discomfort, like erections - I mean the other plumbling kind of discomfort). Learning how to redirect some of that would be a huge plus, for me.

Tantric sex includes sex but the actual act of intercourse itself is a smaller part of it then you might have been led to believe, Munish. A lot of it is building intimacy through touch, shared meditiation and bodily awareness, similar to what you mentioned.

[Neutral]

Originally Posted by Keith

You're thinking of tantric sex which is a very small part of the Tantra spiritual path.

Thank you for clarifying that (and PrimaryErn too). I also assumed Tantra was just about lustful sex techniques.

I'll read the books on Tantra and ignore the sexual stuff.

I'm looking for ways to connect emotionally and sensually. I want to either deepen or widen my experiences. Perhaps through a form of polyamory or with a medium like photography.

New thread?