Steve and all the lightworkers - need help becoming one

[NDavid]

Hey beautiful people! :-)

I have a few problems/questions I've run into while I've been trying to polarize as a lightworker. Brace yourselves for a few questions! :-)

The lightworker is motivated by their compassion/service to other people, but here are a few probs and questions I've got.

-Being a Isn't it detrimental to keep giving your self to others when they take advantage of you? It's also hard feeling love for someone when they treat you like that (or you let them by giving your power away to them). How do you know when to stop trying and let go?

- Pleasing others at the expense of self - When refusing to please someone because it goes against what you believe or how you feel, it can breed resentment (bruises their ego and then they bruise yours). How do you do it but still keep your compassion for them? (Because compassion is what powers a lightworker right?)

- Because the lightworker places emphasis on making adifference to others, I've found that it makes my happiness dependent on others being happy with me. If the emphasis is on others, how do you keep your happiness independent whether others are happy with you?

- How do you express anger as a lightworker? It's very hard to be powered by compassion when I'm angry, it totaly knocks out my compassion for the person!

- And the biggest - The subjectve reality mindset of relationships with people. I assume that this is the lightworkers most powerful tool because it really helps us connect with others. But I struggle with it. You know in Steve's article 'soulful relationships' it says that by recognising that we're all connected, you can mentally connect with and read other people, literally sharing the same thoughts. But how do you know when you're really connecting and seeing things from how they see it, as opposed to just forming an opinion as to what they're feeling? How do you know when you're not being delusional and getting it completely wrong? (I did this when I tried to help some of my family and friends-got it totally wrong! :-) - at least that's what they told me) There's no real way of knowing is there? But then how does Erin read people so well?

It's kinda hard to polarize as lightworker with all these things confusing me. It also leaves me feeling disconnected from people when I don't understand them and vice versa, making it much harder to be fully compassionate with htem. Any feed back is more than welcome and appreciated.

End rant :-)

NDavid

[Mr.Mustache]

Its kinda hard to act compassionately when you don't feel any genuine compassion. Selflessness is something you can't want for yourself, that would be selfish. The ego likes to hide behind masks don't make "becoming a lightworker" one of them. No offense but every problem you brought up wouldn't be a problem to a truly unselfishly motivated person. My suggestion would be to seek to understand yourself.

The times when I felt motivating compassion were the times I completely stopped thinking of myself as separate or unique from anyone, I could literally feel a connection with others, I knew deep down we are the exact same, every one of us. I didn't stay in this mode long because it required tremendous focus. Again, my advice is to free yourself of your own personal issues in order to develop this focus. Steve, has a written a bunch of articles on motivation and sorting through emotional issues, you could start there.

[NDavid]

Hi Mr Mustache,

No offense taken man, thanks for the reply :-). You said "Selflessness is something you can't want for yourself, that would be selfish". I'm not sure I understand you here, why would wanting to be more selfless be selfish? I want to be a lightworker because I want to be able to make a difference in the world and in other people lives.

"Every problem you brought up wouldn't be a problem to a truly unselfishly motivated person". I realise that I'm not completely unselfish, but I can't see how allowing people to take advantage of you and not saying no when it goes against your wants is what a healthy, unselfish person does. Wouldn't that lead to lightworker syndrome? Besides, not having healthy boundaries is detrimental to both youself and others in the long run.

"The times when I felt motivating compassion were the times I completely stopped thinking of myself as separate or unique from anyone, I could literally feel a connection with others, I knew deep down we are the exact same, every one of us. I didn't stay in this mode long because it required tremendous focus". This is the part of subjective reality that confuses me, "exactly the same"? You mean you had exactly the same thoughts? Could you understand them? Why was it so hard to maintain that focus if gave you such a connection. Also, isn't the basis of a lightworker being able to sustain this kind of connection?

Twirl your moustache while you think on these and then let me know your opinion :-) In the mean time I'm gonna take your advice and see what sort of emotional issues would also be in my way.

[Brutha]

- Because the lightworker places emphasis on making adifference to others, I've found that it makes my happiness dependent on others being happy with me.

No, you shouldn't make your happieness dependet on anything. Just be happy.
You attach yourself to much on outcomes of interactions.

Pleasing others at the expense of self - When refusing to please someone because it goes against what you believe or how you feel, it can breed resentment (bruises their ego and then they bruise yours)

A lightworker doesn't care much about the ego.

How do you know when to stop trying and let go?

Nobody said that you should try something.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by NDavid

Hey beautiful people! :-)

I have a few problems/questions I've run into while I've been trying to polarize as a lightworker. Brace yourselves for a few questions! :-)

The lightworker is motivated by their compassion/service to other people, but here are a few probs and questions I've got.

-Being a Isn't it detrimental to keep giving your self to others when they take advantage of you? It's also hard feeling love for someone when they treat you like that (or you let them by giving your power away to them). How do you know when to stop trying and let go?

- Pleasing others at the expense of self - When refusing to please someone because it goes against what you believe or how you feel, it can breed resentment (bruises their ego and then they bruise yours). How do you do it but still keep your compassion for them? (Because compassion is what powers a lightworker right?)

- Because the lightworker places emphasis on making adifference to others, I've found that it makes my happiness dependent on others being happy with me. If the emphasis is on others, how do you keep your happiness independent whether others are happy with you?

- How do you express anger as a lightworker? It's very hard to be powered by compassion when I'm angry, it totaly knocks out my compassion for the person!

- And the biggest - The subjectve reality mindset of relationships with people. I assume that this is the lightworkers most powerful tool because it really helps us connect with others. But I struggle with it. You know in Steve's article 'soulful relationships' it says that by recognising that we're all connected, you can mentally connect with and read other people, literally sharing the same thoughts. But how do you know when you're really connecting and seeing things from how they see it, as opposed to just forming an opinion as to what they're feeling? How do you know when you're not being delusional and getting it completely wrong? (I did this when I tried to help some of my family and friends-got it totally wrong! :-) - at least that's what they told me) There's no real way of knowing is there? But then how does Erin read people so well?

It's kinda hard to polarize as lightworker with all these things confusing me. It also leaves me feeling disconnected from people when I don't understand them and vice versa, making it much harder to be fully compassionate with htem. Any feed back is more than welcome and appreciated.

End rant :-)

NDavid

My advice is to ignore the concept of polarization altogether. There are countless others on this forum who agree with me as well.

However, if you're totally committed to sticking to this course, my secondary advice would be to move up the levels of consciousness without polarizing much further than you are now, and only then polarize at the point where you have to.

In simple terms, focus on expressing more love every day, and less fear every day. Regardless whether you love yourself or others (darkworker or lightworker). For example, lets say that you are going to dedicate 1 hour per day to this pursuit. You can just as equally go out and volunteer in a soup kitchen to help feed the starving (help world) as you can spend that 1 hour improving the health of your individual body by exercising for 30 minutes and meditating for 30 minutes, or taking a Yoga class for 1hour/day (help self) type of thing.

Just focus on expressing love like that, regardless of who you express it to, and one day when you reach a level where polarizing is required, you'll know the path anyways.

I think right now, worrying about polarizing is kind of like worrying about what brand of oil you should put in a Ferrari when you don't even own a Ferrari. Yes, it's nice to know what brand of oil Ferrari's take, but really does it matter if you don't even own one? And even if you do own one at some point in your life, will it even matter then? If you can afford a Ferrari, why not just get someone else to do the oil change? I know my analogy is kind of off the wall, but I think it may illustrate the point.

[Freelancer]

Hey beautiful people! :-)

I have a few problems/questions I've run into while I've been trying to polarize as a lightworker. Brace yourselves for a few questions! :-)

The lightworker is motivated by their compassion/service to other people, but here are a few probs and questions I've got.

Ohhh I can help here *bounces up and down* yeyh.

Prepare for massive overload of information, I've got some spare time.

Down to the nitty gritty part of it (slightly more serious even):

-Being a Isn't it detrimental to keep giving your self to others when they take advantage of you? It's also hard feeling love for someone when they treat you like that (or you let them by giving your power away to them). How do you know when to stop trying and let go?

Wow relax, I can count 4 questions bundled into one here. Let me see if I can answer them all in order.

Alright, detrimental giving yourself to others:
Ok, let me start at the beginning, where does compassion arise from? It doesn't exactly just pop out (or does it ay? oh dear paradox I love thy) right?
Compassion basically comes from understanding, if you realize why people act the way they act then compassion will come much more naturally. You see most people live in a almost dream like world full of little fears, nuisances and frustrations. They will rarely admit this because the whole act of admitting it would negate most of there act to the outside world.
Most people are pushed back and forth because of circumstances, they have no real control over them.


This is a very fundemental aspect of lightwork, understanding other people and the world around you. How the world works, how it operates and you quickly move into deep spiritual practices which is way way way beyond this post. Anyway from this understanding you stop trying to please everybody's little petty ego's and you start reaching out to there 'higher selves' (god, holy spirit, The Now, buddha nature, whatever) instead. At this point you literally transcend power games and it becomes incredibly difficult to deceit you. After all when you can understand somebody then you can quickly pinpoint when they try to take advantage of you. At this point its detrimental for BOTH to allow this to happen. The person in question will dig himself deeper into a identity crisis (everyone wants to be the good guy and you have to toss and turn in some pretty awkward positions to justify 'stealing') and you get taken advantage of (which ain't always a bad thing).

This ain't a easy path to take, the darkworker path is probably easier in that you need to worry a whole lot less about other people. The problem arises that you need to be incredibly careful that you don't dig yourself into a very VERY nasty hellhole.

Alright next part, giving your power away. I can be quick about this. NEVER EVER GIVE YOUR POWER AWAY. There done.

A lot of life is letting go, ain't it lovely?
Let go of work and start to play.
Let go of seriousness and start to learn.
Let go of life and start to live.
Let go of attachment and start to love.
Quite paradoxical at times.

- Pleasing others at the expense of self - When refusing to please someone because it goes against what you believe or how you feel, it can breed resentment (bruises their ego and then they bruise yours). How do you do it but still keep your compassion for them? (Because compassion is what powers a lightworker right?)

Alright, first of all if it bruises there ego's so be it.
If they can't handle growth so be it.
If they can't handle honesty so be it.
If they can't handle integrity so be it.
Don't comprimise your own value's and believes for a small and petty little ego of theres (or your own).

Compassion is NOT trying to avoid bruising ego's. It usually ends up being about bruising ego's in a good way, by speaking to the best inside them. By adressing that we all share.

I feel like I'm preaching, if I am just tell me to shut the **** up, I do this as much to clarify it to myself as I do it to help you.
(no I've got no idea whether I'm a dark or lightworker, frankly I don't really care)

- Because the lightworker places emphasis on making adifference to others, I've found that it makes my happiness dependent on others being happy with me. If the emphasis is on others, how do you keep your happiness independent whether others are happy with you?

You don't help people by feeling unhappy, it only hurts them. So don't do it.

- How do you express anger as a lightworker? It's very hard to be powered by compassion when I'm angry, it totaly knocks out my compassion for the person!

Feeling angry and feeling compassionate at the same time is not possible, sorry.
You can feel compassionate and EXPRESS anger. Think about that one for a while and why you'd want to do that.

- And the biggest - The subjectve reality mindset of relationships with people. I assume that this is the lightworkers most powerful tool because it really helps us connect with others. But I struggle with it. You know in Steve's article 'soulful relationships' it says that by recognising that we're all connected, you can mentally connect with and read other people, literally sharing the same thoughts. But how do you know when you're really connecting and seeing things from how they see it, as opposed to just forming an opinion as to what they're feeling? How do you know when you're not being delusional and getting it completely wrong? (I did this when I tried to help some of my family and friends-got it totally wrong! :-) - at least that's what they told me) There's no real way of knowing is there? But then how does Erin read people so well?

I have no clue, its most likely a skill that will grow with time as you gain more understanding. Perhaps Erin is just a natural. And perhaps I'm just babbling out loud here because I've got no clue.

It's kinda hard to polarize as lightworker with all these things confusing me. It also leaves me feeling disconnected from people when I don't understand them and vice versa, making it much harder to be fully compassionate with htem. Any feed back is more than welcome and appreciated.

Try and unify both darkworking and lightworking, gets even more confusing.

[NDavid]

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the replies :-). Okay I've been experimenting with some success. Paul, glad to hear that you've changed your mind :-). Freelancer, awesome post man, one question for you,

"This is a very fundemental aspect of lightwork, understanding other people and the world around you. How the world works, how it operates and you quickly move into deep spiritual practices which is way way way beyond this post. Anyway from this understanding you stop trying to please everybody's little petty ego's and you start reaching out to there 'higher selves' (god, holy spirit, The Now, buddha nature, whatever) instead. At this point you literally transcend power games and it becomes incredibly difficult to deceit you. After all when you can understand somebody then you can quickly pinpoint when they try to take advantage of you. At this point its detrimental for BOTH to allow this to happen. The person in question will dig himself deeper into a identity crisis (everyone wants to be the good guy and you have to toss and turn in some pretty awkward positions to justify 'stealing') and you get taken advantage of (which ain't always a bad thing)."

So how do you deepen your understanding of people and the world around you? If this is the foundation of a lightworker, given the amount of people who now choose to fully commit to the lightworker path I think it would be awesome if there was a forum (or even better a full blog post) on how to develop this wonderful skill.

Peace

NDavid

[Love]

Hi NDavid.

I think it's great that you want to start helping others. I definitely agree with experimenting and not worrying so much about getting it right.

To get a better understanding of the people around you, go work with them. I would find an organization that does something useful, and then just help. You could try volunteermatch.com or idealist.org. You could also hang around people who are givers and feel passionate about it. You may not feel anything the first couple of times you do it, but as you get to know the people and/or things you help, you'll come to love them..and you'll want to help even more.

Have fun with it.