Whatever You Fear, You Must Face (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Whatever You Fear, You Must Face

[Fullcrum]

An interesting and informative post! And something I'm already going to act upon. I actually know what I currently fear. Awesome. Time to act!

I'm curious if you noticed any of the troupe members at the dinner table pulling people over and talking to them - girls, guys, whatever.

[Angela]

Arghhh. Sometimes your timing is just a little too poignant, Steve. You are my personal Magic 8 Ball.

[Little Deb]

I joined my local theatre group about 20 years ago, and unfortunately my joy and spontainous humour was met with indifference, snobbery and even hostility. (After my first and last "character role" performance, I recieved three standing ovations during the play and three more during the curtain call. I was swiftly taken aside by the stage manager and groweled at "There's no stars in Prairie Players!" I was 24 years old. Needless to say I quit the group.) It must be really nice to actually meet and work with supportive, cheerful artists instead of a bunch of angry psycotics.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Little Deb

(After my first and last "character role" performance, I recieved three standing ovations during the play and three more during the curtain call. I was swiftly taken aside by the stage manager and groweled at "There's no stars in Prairie Players!" I was 24 years old. Needless to say I quit the group.)

I've heard interviews with people that worked on sitcoms where they say that comedy is the most serious type of show there is, but that kind of response from a stage manager is just crazy, especially with the positive audience feedback!

[Savage]

The Vegas improv group is totally fun, supportive, and encouraging. They postmortem their shows afterwards to figure out what games worked best, but it's done in a very positive way with the goal of improving future shows.

[Dive Bomb]

Dynamite post! Right on the money.

and to go off topic a bit, I can't wait for the book!!

[Sindre]

I'm probably wrong, but.. Steve, did you forget an "I" in this sentence?

What if say something stupid and no one laughs?

Maybe I'm the one saying something stupid now, and no one laughs..

Great article!

Edit: Never mind, you fixed it.. it was "you" and not "I"..

[neilkeleher]

I only did improv for a little while when I thought I wanted to become an actor. I remember the first few minutes before I got on stage sweating buckets wondering what I would do. Then I got on stage, and I just did it. This was for practice but even so I was still nerve wracked. The beauty of the experience was that once I did get on stage I simply reacted to what was around me, to what was going on. The type of scene we were doing had each of us going on stage one person at a time. Each person would successively add more to the scene. The director set us up by saying we were in the kitchen of a house.Then as each person went on they created a relationship with the scene and the people who were already there.

I think in this case improv is actually how life is, if we notice the relationships that are going on around us and the changes in those relationships. All we have to do to do improve (and live life) is respond to what is going on around us based on what is going on within us. And what is going on within us, maybe it's trying to get something. In the scene I was in I was trying to retrieve a girls phone number but one of the other people I was sharing the house with had thrown it out. Not only that the garbage truck had already been by to collect the garbage.

the scene turned out to be a lot of fun, similiar to the feeling I've had riding a motorbike fast, following others through twisty turny roads. IN both cases you have to be "there" totally focused on what you are doing. Then there is no room for fear. You just concentrate on what you are doing.

[Paul C]

Thanks Steve for another reminder. This appears to relate to living within the moment fairly closely. Accepting the present moment situation and taking right action from it.

[Joely]

This was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.

[The David]

This was probably the most relevant post to my life you could have written. I've always liked the idea of embracing fear as an ally, but it's putting that principle into practice that poses the challenge.

[Tina McLeman]

Hi,

I just wanted to say thank you for posting the article on facing your fears when you did.

I managed to face my fear yesterday and I won't bore you with the details but I am so happy now. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I have grown as a person.

Even small, seemingly unfounded and irrational fears, can take a mountain of courage to overcome, but it is definately worth it.

Thanks,
Tina

[emilyburd]

Im 18, was excited about driving, but had 2 accidents already in a span of 3 months

the first accident, I solved the problem, but the second was I didnt see a car coming, and althoug hthe accident wasnt bad it shook me, I hate now all the stop signs and the turns.

I make turn at all the dangerous turns becuase Im so fearful of them.

It's definetly one of the most paractiacl posts you've written, Steve in my opinion.

[Bruce Achterberg]

I just read this quote and thought it was amusingly contrary to Steve's message in this article:

We would never move forward in the face of negative emotion. There are many people who would teach you otherwise. They say, you've got to face fear to get over it. And all they do is desensitize themselves to the point that they get themselves into situations where they have no idea what's going on, and the end of them comes rather abruptly... And then everyone calls them brave.

Source: Abraham-Hicks, excerpted from a workshop in San Diego, CA on Saturday, February 7th,
2004

My intention isn't to support the ideas of Abraham-Hicks, or event Steve's ideas; my intention is to do what Steve so cleverly does in his articles and get people to think so that they can decide what is right for them.

Remember, folks: the best way is the way that's right for you. How do you discover what is right for you?

This is the part where I trail off and leave you to find out on your own...

[Glofish]

I have many fears I am conscious of and probably some I'm not aware of. I've even been able to overcome some of them, like the fear of spiders.

But there is one fear I can't tame. Since I was a kid, I've always been afraid of getting involved in a fight. I'm 27 now. In the last three years, I've been robbed two times. I got sprayed with a pepper spray the first time, by four guys. The second time, two guys with large knives robbed me at an ATM and stole the money from my account. Both times, I've been deeply traumatized.

Recently, robberies like these happened around my place. A guy got beaten up for no reason and got robbed. A woman got shot in the head for a wallet...

So yes, I'm scared to go out at night. I still do it sometimes, but I'm watching around me constantly and I feel insecure. In a way, I don't let this fear make decisions for me. But it does not go away. Which choices do I have?

[Fullcrum]

Well, you could take up a martial art or practical (not sport) self-defense class. And carry around pepper spray.

[Glofish]

Originally Posted by Fullcrum

Well, you could take up a martial art or practical (not sport) self-defense class. And carry around pepper spray.

I've been practicing some martial arts and self-defense actually. But I think twice before I use it, especially when I'm outnumbered by armed guys. It helped me feeling more secure. But when facing a gun or a knife, what I really think of is getting out of trouble without getting injured or killed. I just realized that somehow, I was in control. I made wise decisions while under pressure. But I'm still scared.

I've been thinking of taking up kick boxing. It's probably time for me to go on.

[garentee]

best book so far that I have read about fear is Susan Jeffers Feel the fear and do it anyways. Absolutely life altering. G

[Bing Wu]

I was at the bar last night with a buddy, and no one was on the dance floor. So he dared me to go and dance solo, so I did. It was scary though.

Everyone stared, some people laughed, and a few people even took pictures. I guess I must have looked really dumb, but I dedicated it to my buddy because, while I wasn't there to pick someone up (it was a more or less straight bar, and I'm gay), I was hoping that it would help awaken some courage in him to go and talk to some of the girls. I mean, the worst outcome is you're a little embarrassed if you someone turns you down, the best outcome is that it might be the start of a relationship. He never talked to a girl but I think it did inspire him to try maybe next time we go out :-)

[Bene]

I am curious Steve... does the principle of Non-Duality help you in situations like this? I know it is one of your beliefs like you said here.

I am in the process of installing that belief. I've listened to the Overcoming Fear podcast. Like you say in the podcast, it is more of transcending fear than building up courage. But my specific question is, does this belief erase all fear or do you have to keep pulling it up and "run" it through your mind once again to change your perspective and lessen the fear or even transcend it? I realize things like public speaking and improv are occasional situations and not everyday ones so the fear maybe actually natural. But does the perspective in Non-Duality help?

[Savage]

Originally Posted by Bene

I am curious Steve... does the principle of Non-Duality help you in situations like this? I know it is one of your beliefs like you said here.

I am in the process of installing that belief. I've listened to the Overcoming Fear podcast. Like you say in the podcast, it is more of transcending fear than building up courage. But my specific question is, does this belief erase all fear or do you have to keep pulling it up and "run" it through your mind once again to change your perspective and lessen the fear or even transcend it? I realize things like public speaking and improv are occasional situations and not everyday ones so the fear maybe actually natural. But does the perspective in Non-Duality help?

Absolutely.

For example, sometimes when I'm about to go up to speak, I feel a twinge of nervousness. Then I look at the audience and remind myself that we're all one, that we're all part of the same being. The nervousness quickly fades, and I feel a strong sense of connection instead. Then I can get up and just be myself. I always feel very comfortable speaking in front of a group when I hold this point of view.