Hopeless Situations (Blog)

[Phill]

"When you know you’re going to lose no matter what, you can stop playing to win, and start playing to learn instead."

Yes. And actually at this point it becomes very hopeful. It is good to hear someone admit there comes a time you are going to lose, and it's ok to begin to move on ---- in a positive way.

Really good post.

Phill
Ramblings of and for a 50 year old

[Alex2007]

Sometimes it is good for someone to learn how to play the game of life. The art of "surrender" to "what is" is good though.

[evelynlim]

Thanks, Steve, I enjoyed the article tremendously. It just shows how a game of chess can teach so many life lessons.

[Animekid]

Sorry Steve, but I couldn't disagree with you more about this post.
While I can very easily apply this principal to playing a card game with my friends, I cannot apply it to most other areas of my life. If you have ever watched Star Trek, James T. Kirk, was the only candidate to ever pass the " Koybioushi Maru " scenario, and he did this by changing the parameters of the test. When asked why he did this, he simply stated " that he doesn't believe in the no win scenario " and I tend to agree with that thinking.

There are winners and losers in life, and the winners are the folks who never give in or these people change the parameters of the game, so that they can win and achieve their intended goals.

I have to say that the only time I think that you can find yourself in the " Hopeless Situation " and eventually have to give in, is when you lose a loved one.

I lost both of my parents in what I can only term, winless situations, and even than I tried to do everything possible and within my power not to lose them both, but these were the times I was in the hopeless situation, and in the end had to finally just give in to their loss from my life...and even then, I did so rather begrudgingly .

[Tuumble]

Great article again.

I am now in my 40th year and it's about time I, y'know, did something more constructive than just waiting for things to happen.

In 2007 I TASTED success in some areas but GORGED on humble pie in others as I had to sell up to clear my debts. Sometimes you have to take a step back to move forward so despite now being in rented accommodation I am virtually debt-free and able to look forward with some positivity.

This year will be different in other ways too. I've had a few little nibbles regarding my comedy writing and have had material performed on a London stage. Things are just...different I really think there are good times just around the corner.

For now I'm just pleased to have some stability but now things are returning to normal I can really start to make progress again.

[Tamra]

Terrific article!

[LifeFirst]

I hate the feeling of hopelessness


But I can't rip this feeling away from me. It's all I have felt these last couple of years to be honest.

[kellimaier]

I want to say something but it is hard to say it just right. I mean this with respect and good intentions.

My husband has metastatic lung cancer.
I find it hard to accept the idea of "hopeless"
I find it even harder to be graceful about it.

None the less I have handed the situation to God....to the best of my ability.

Do I worry that I will miss a life lesson if I decide that it isn't hopeless?
Not really.
I feel that I have learned quite a lot by maintaining hope and letting God decide.
But to simply say "Oh well" and let it be hopeless...no.
I can't do that. I can not see how this could help even a little bit.

I do see where it can hurt.
Deciding it is all hopeless can mean that two little girls are learning to value family time more because it is now very different and more difficult to have and could be even more so one day. They have been told the truth. They know he may not get better. But if they believed for certain that he would not get better this would mean they are watching him ( the only Father they have known) die instead of helping to care for him by telling jokes and saying "I love you".
If he decides there is no hope...what will be the quality of his life? If indeed the Doctors are correct ( they gave him a week to a month to live...he has passed that...so perhaps they are not always correct. ) ...if he is to die soon. What will be the remainder of his life be? For him it will be filled with fear and mourning. Yes...he will mourn for us ...for what he is to leave behind for certain.
But with hope, one can prepare just in case, but one can also glimpse another possibility.
Accepting that something is hopeless is not in all cases a matter of just letting go and learning from the situation. Sometimes it is letting yourself be defeated and cheating yourself out of what could be the joyous experience of being ...hopeful.
I dare say...never accept something as hopeless. Instead accept that you may not control the outcome and then proceed with love and expectations that the best solution will come.

[Keith]

Kelli, just wondering if your husband has tried switching to a plant whole foods based diet? There's quite a lot evidence that it could help improve his body's cancer resistance (particularly see "The China Study") .