Heart-Centered Motivation (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Heart-Centered Motivation

[dECLAN]

Very timely blog Steve.

I have been thinking about the act of giving lately. A couple of days ago I gave a book to a person I didn't really know as a friendly gesture. The following day I I happened to meet a lady who was an author and illustrator of children's books. She soon discovered I had a daughter and gave me a signed copy of her new book which is all about nature spirits and how children communicate with during play. I thought it was a coincidence at the time and then it occurred to me that maybe the act of giving and receiving are a necessary exchange of energy which sustains us at a deeper level...

[dewelch]

I had a very similar experience to Steve's when working with one of my older clients. I had only worked with him once, but he called out of the blue many months later in great distress. His computer had died and he simply NEEDED to get online so that he could process some insurance forms for his wife, who had recently been invalided.

Even though I was booked for that day, I knew, in my heart, that the right thing to do was make some time to help him. It is a hard feeling to describe, but it is a palpable feeling.

I got his system working and got him started on the forms he needed. When he asked me "How much?" I took advantage of one of the major benefits of working for yourself and told him, "Nothing." I have seen such relief, gratitude and happiness very few times in my life, but I will always remember the look on his face and the sound of his voice. There is nothing else like it in the world. I had made one person's life just a little bit better, right when they needed it most. That one event drives me always be aware of those opportunities when I can reach out and touch someone, no matter what the circumstance.

From the business side, heart-centered motivation has never hurt my business, but only increased it. On almost every occasion, I work with people, for pay, later on or they make some wonderful gesture that cements our relationship and invests them in my success. They want to see me succeed, so they recommend me to others who, perhaps have more need for my services. I have many "Fathers and Mothers" among my clients and they look out for me.

[Dating Specialist]

Thanks Steve for this post. So timely during Thanksgiving

I'd like to share a personal story too. There was once when I took the initiative to speak to a friend on more than just the usual bantering level. It turned out to be an informal coaching session where I also shared some experiences (which I usually don't).

As I talked, I actually had tears in my eyes, which again is a first. My friend haven't seen this side of me at all, nor anyone in fact. She too was shocked. I guess that was a moment of expression as I really spoke from my heart, and this feeling of wanting to help her was just so strong.

At the end of it, she was very thankful for my sharings and advices. Guess what? I felt grateful too for that chance to connect with one more friend.

[songwriter]

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love... you make" Last words of The Beatles on record.

YouTube - Golden Slumbers - Carry That Weight - The End

This is Paul McCartney (with some guests you'll recognize ) doing a priceless live version of the end of the Abbey Road album. Montserrat 1997 Benefit concert.

Pay attention to the lyrics...

Golden slumbers...carry that weight...the end.
Dreaming your purpose, trying and achieving or so.

[dalante]

Thanks for the article, and I have noticed that genuinly focusing on heart motivated actions bring more satisfaction and even success.

There is one area, however, where I find it difficullt to apply this principle: the Health and fitness area. If I decide to get fit, to loose weight, what kind of possible heart-centered motivation could there be? I only find egoistical reasons to be healthy. Does anyone have any idea?

[helgi]

Here's one: If you are healthy, you will feel better and thus have more capacity to extend that same feeling to others.

Great article btw., and resonates with what I was reading (and underlining, no less) in two different books this morning to an almost uncanny degree. These kinds of message-based synchronicities seem to be happening in my life on a regular basis now.

[Savage]

A heart-centered motivation for doing something seemingly for yourself (physical fitness, financial success, relationship success, etc) is to be able to pass on your knowledge to others who will benefit from it even more. Whatever you master for yourself, you can share.

This has been an especially powerful motivator for me personally. I know that I can pass on everything I'm learning. This helps me get past the fear of failure, since I know that even my mistakes can benefit others. As I explore human existence, I can leave behind a map of the interesting parts.

Whenever you have a private victory, turn it into a social victory by sharing it. Teach people how you did it. Then you aren't just winning for yourself. You're winning for the benefit of all.

[KittyG]

Aww, I love this. .
I am going to make zucchini bread for the garbage man and mail man this year for the holidays . .
I work with an autistic child at a preschool, helping to integrate him, "mainstream" him and in the front lobby of the church/school, there is a secretary. I noticed nobody ever says hi to her and she has one deformed eye. Well, last week I just felt it in me to go introduce myself and ask her name and wish her a good morning. It worked well
I just read a line in my devotional that said, "God gives you discernment, not so that you may judge but so that you can intercede."
Happy Thanks Giving everyone .

Kat

[Greg Butler]

When I write for the benefit of others, with the motivation to uplift and inspire, then I am uplifted and inspired myself. Serving others that way is a vehicle towards oneness, which opens the heart and the experiences of joy, love, and bliss.

[Patricia]

Great article! Strangely enough, I had one of these experiences just last night. It wasn't an act of kindness towards a person, but towards an animal - which to me is just the same in the sense that we're all living beings. I have a strong connection with animals and I feel a great deal of compassion for animals in need.

Anyway... I was already in bed, but for some reason decided to get up. As soon as I came to the computer room, I heard a dog crying outside. It was already past 3 in the morning. I opened the window and there he was, looking up my window. I went downstairs. This was a street dog, he looked like he hadn't eaten well in a long time, so I filled up a bowl with dog food and another one with water and called him. He ate the food and drank the water very fast. And then just stood there, looking at me. It seemed to me that that wasn't enough, so I petted him, even though I had no idea if he would try to bite me or not. lol I don't think this dog has been touched or received any kind of care in a long time - in fact, he acted like he was scared all the time, like he's usually harassed by people and abused. He was suspicious at first, but as I gained his confidence he got closer, looking at me with the sweetest eyes you could possibly imagine. I opened the gate and let him in the external area of my house. I spent about 50 minutes taking care of this dog, feeding him until he was satisfied, petting him and playing with him. I even gave him a toy to play with, which he seemed to enjoy. As I watched him eat, I experienced what Steve described as entering higher state of consciousness. A wonderful feeling. But then, already past 4 in the morning, I needed to get some sleep and I started feeling guilty. I wanted to take him inside the house and take proper care of him, take him to the vet, bathe him, etc. But I own 2 dogs, one of which was barking at him the whole time and from previous experiences I knew she would get into a fight with him should I let him in - and they would both get hurt. Additionally, I don't have enough room for another dog and I travel quite a bit, leaving my dogs at the "dog hotel" is becoming quite expensive for me. So I had to let him go, but this, on the other hand, wasn't a very good experience - he still stayed outside my house for a few minutes. I had trouble sleeping afterwards. So I put out an intention for him to find someone else who is in better position to help him than I am. But I can't stop thinking about him, worried that he's still out in the streets by himself. Breaks my heart. I know there are thousands of other dogs in the streets, but I connected with this one. I keep thinking that I should have found a way to keep him. I feel terrible about this. How do you cope with this kind of feeling, when you've done your best to help, but are still left with the feeling that you should do more? This happens to me frequently when I try to help others - humans or animals.

I'd like to take the opportunity to leave a link to this website I found some time ago: The Giving Game. Now, I have been meaning to post about it for a while, but wanted to join the site first to see how it works exactly before I posted about it, but although I still don't know how it works exactly, I didn't want to miss the chance to link to it in this thread as it's very much in context with the discussion. It seems pretty interesting from what I've read so far. I'll join the site and start playing to see how it works exactly and then I'll edit this post with the updates, in case anyone is interested.

Peace everyone and have a nice day performing acts of kindness.

[Jay]

In one meeting of our working group each member should write down his own personal goals and the goals the person has for the whole group. Afterwards the cards were pinned on a chart.

One person told that he would like increase the effect of his actions. As I heard this I thought this is a good parameter to judge his actions in general.

In my opinion the effect or impact your action will have is also very important for your motivation.

Example:
I had to prepar a presentation for a software. I spent many hours because I thought it will change the working habits of the whole group.
I was pretty motivated. After the presentation the group told me I did great.

Now I can see that the group is not ready to implement the software (yet or forever).
I am pretty sure that if I have to work for others once again and my foreboding is that there won't be any effect, I would not be motivated or rather won't accept the work.

Thanks for the article Steve and I will definitely test the impact my next action on a stranger, if I think I am in the right situation. I guess there will be many possible situations if you take some time to look around.

[Nicolle]

In response to the question about applying heart-centered motivation to health/fitness:

I think the context is decisive. And the only limit there is your imagination. You can create a hundred different heart-centered motivations for your exercise. The work, of course, is keeping those motivations present. ;-)

Steve wrote about leaving the game industry for something more heart-centered, but I think you could bring heart-centered motivations to either place, or any place. My job has in the past been about my ego (surviving, making it, doing well) and recently I've started shifting the context to contribution. There's nothing inherent about my job that is either "doing well in society" or "contributing to society". I decide the context, and that decides my experience.

Of course, that being said, I am sure there are places where it's easier to bring heart-centered motivations. I guess that's where you have a choice between dealing with what it would take to bring those motivations to the present circumstances, or move onto something that allows you to more easily express those motivations. And really, there isn't a 'right' way to do it. Which also means there isn't a 'wrong' way to do it. ;-)

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

A heart-centered motivation for doing something seemingly for yourself (physical fitness, financial success, relationship success, etc) is to be able to pass on your knowledge to others who will benefit from it even more. Whatever you master for yourself, you can share.

This has been an especially powerful motivator for me personally. I know that I can pass on everything I'm learning. This helps me get past the fear of failure, since I know that even my mistakes can benefit others. As I explore human existence, I can leave behind a map of the interesting parts.

Whenever you have a private victory, turn it into a social victory by sharing it. Teach people how you did it. Then you aren't just winning for yourself. You're winning for the benefit of all.

What you wrote in your article, and ESPECIALLY what you just wrote above is GOLD! Absolute GOLD. I've got some awesome ideas now on exactly what I'm going to do.

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Patricia

Great article! Strangely enough, I had one of these experiences just last night. It wasn't an act of kindness towards a person, but towards an animal - which to me is just the same in the sense that we're all living beings. I have a strong connection with animals and I feel a great deal of compassion for animals in need.


But I can't stop thinking about him, worried that he's still out in the streets by himself. Breaks my heart. I know there are thousands of other dogs in the streets, but I connected with this one. I keep thinking that I should have found a way to keep him. I feel terrible about this. How do you cope with this kind of feeling, when you've done your best to help, but are still left with the feeling that you should do more? This happens to me frequently when I try to help others - humans or animals.

I know what you mean. I try and help animals as much as I can as well. I try and focus on the good I can do and have done. You have two other dogs that without you, would be in the same state as that this dog if you had not taken them in. Sometimes though, that is of little comfort to me. Sometimes in those situations, if I can’t take the animal, I will take and pay a no kill shelter to take them.

It breaks my heart to see animals in need of a home who don’t have anyone to love them. I focus everyday on what I can do to make the situation better.

If this is a big deal to you, try doing something to change it. Open a no kill shelter, volunteer at one, donate to one, make contact with one so when you have an animal in need, you know where to take her.

Recently, I visited an awesome no kill shelter which I thought was truly inspiring. They had turned their house into a home for animals. They had over 100 cats, 10 dogs, and probably other animals I did not see. They made trips to the kill shelters and took whatever animals they could save. They then charge and adoption fee to keep the place running. All the animals played together, and the humans loved each and every one of them. They also started a low cost spay/neuter programs so anyone could take their pets to any clinic in the area and get their animal fixed for 20 bucks. They have helped countless animals just with that.

Start doing something now so if the situation presents its self again, you can do something about it.


On a different note. This post had a different affect on me then what I am reading here. I started to reflect on past few days, then the past year to see what I have done to help. Every day is the world better when I go to bed then when I woke up in the morning? And everyday, I make sure I can say yes.

I looked back at what I have done in just the last 48 hours. I run as a volunteer EMT for my city, and I ran Thanksgiving Day and night. Lots of people during holidays have emotional issues to work through and sometimes all we can do is listen. There was a fire while I was on shift, and the fire guys pulled an unconscious not breathing person out. That person is now breathing on his/her own.

I typically spent 40 hours a week (maybe more) at the fire station.
On top of that, we put together a proposal for more money to adopt a bigger family in need and got it approved. Over the holidays we buy the whole family toys, each a thick winter coat, socks, Christmas dinner, and things for around the house (laundry soap, diapers, etc).

For the first time this year, we decided to do something for the 2 nursing homes that we respond to on a daily basis. The 4 of us who do all this stuff at the station were amazed to find resistance to this idea from the other members. Their augment went something like, “These are private nursing homes, which mean they must have money. Therefore, they don’t need anything from us.” My squad partner piped up even before I could and said, “money is not the point, having them know we care is.”

The residence from a volunteer organization to help out, truly amazed me sometimes, but that is slowly coming around, and is awesome to watch and be part of that.

That is just the short list of things in the past 48 hours. There is a lot more ranging from fixing peoples computers who really need it, to helping pick up paper someone dropped.

In short (or maybe long with how long this post got ), Steve’s post pointed out to me how much I already do, but more than that it made me reevaluate to see what else I can do. And I already have some great ideas.

Adrienne

[Andrew Brunelle]

@ Patricia....heart warming story. I have something similar i have been doing. My backyard is full of nature, all these animals and insects living harmoniously, so if I ever have any scraps of food, mostly produce, I'll go bring it outside so that they can also benefit from the food I enjoy so much. It's a good feeling, although I never get to see them enjoy it. Maybe I should quit my day job.... I've begun to love animals and people more compassionately and giving to others is far better than receiving. I now know that parable is true. Thank you all for listening. I really appreciate it.

[joanmhe]

I read this entry over lunch, after having gotten out my money in the lunch line to hand to someone who wasn't sure she had brought enough. Not sure I would have been so quick 3 months ago prior to starting to read this blog. Would have been impatient that she was taking extra time!
After reading the soulful relationships post, and the entries regarding subjective reality and other people, I now go through every day considering whether my behavior to others is the reality that I would intend. I see the other drivers in Boston traffic as companion cells in a larger organism to watch out for and cooperate with, not as competition to beat through the light.
Last year I was in an accident, and still use a cane occasionally to walk - I have been so thankful for everyone's kindness to me, and I am now even more interested in paying it forward in any small way.
I am realizing just how selfish I was before - I am so glad that I have discovered this.
Joan