|12-18-2007, 03:56 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2007
I have been reading a lot of these articles and for a long time. I find them helpful but somewhat inaccurate at times. For example the article called "Feelings"...as I read that article the emotion iT brought out of me caused to start crying uncontrollably. A long time ago I met someone who changed my life and due to a miserable and self-esteem-crushing childhood this person never got to love the real me. My subjective reality of the situation was a reflection of how he was to me which was wonderful. His subjective reality of me was a roller coaster ride with more downs then ups. I pushed hime away and he jumped into a marriage. During this time we became friends again. He got to really know me for the first time and I am confident to say thet if he was not married then we would be. I fell for him all over again and he basically admitted his feelings for me. However he is a duty fullfiller and because he doesnt want to ruin so many lives he is staying with wife and baby. In a way I respect him for that. Well being the smart girl that I am I know that I need to end the friendship and move on. Tearing away from this intense connection we have is the same as tearing off a limb. It hurts so bad I can't breathe. My point about the "Feelings" article is that it encourages me to call this person because just the sound of his voice is like food for my heart. I feel like I am sleep walking and when I talk to him all of a sudden I am fully awake. He is my heart and my "feelings" are screaming for him. But I know calling him is wrong. It makes it worse to know that he feels just as happy to hear from me. PLEASE HELP THIS HAS BEEN MY TORTURE FOR ALOST 5 YEARS.....ANY ADVICE???
P.S. IF THE LAW OF ATTRACTION WORKS...DOES THAT MEAN I CAN WANT HIM ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY GET TO BE WITH HIM ONE DAY???
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