Having problems taking action consistently!

[Dreamlife Hero]

Hi guys, I found Steve's article on 'how to take action consistently' interesting but the technique didn't have the desired effect with me unfortunately.

I was wondering if anyone had any different approaches which they could share with me?

I'm not sure what is stopping me but I sometimes feel like my foot is on the brake and the handbrake is on and it just feels very difficult to get going.

I'll write a list of maybe 20 or 30 things I should do and then usually do between 0 and 4 of them.

For example; I sometimes realize that I should call a friend or family member and then ..I just don't!! It's very inexplicable to me and is really holding me back in terms of starting projects I want to do. I 'waste' a lot of time which could be used more more productively. It frustrates me quite a bit!

I'm not lazy and I have tons of discipline in other ways (I get up at 5am, can quit habits without any problems almost instantly and go to the gym every day etc etc..)

Has anyone experienced the same thing and if so what's the best solution?

Any feedback gratefully accepted!

DLH

ps. I'm new to the site and only joined today so sorry if this topic has been discussed before - I'm still working my way through the archives. I'm lovin' it all though!

[cdn2wheeler]

Sometimes it's best to break down these things into small - sometimes very small - objectives. It could be that writing down 20 or 30 things just looks so damn big...

You might try shaving that down to, say, 4 or 5 things. Then "eat the biggest frog first"; that is, do the thing that you think will be the most difficult first. That way, it's out of the way quickly and you'll have a sense of accomplishment that can carry you through the rest of the list.

[Dreamlife Hero]

Thanks for the advice - and also thanks for welcoming me to the boards earlier.

I'll definitely try that approach. In fact I was just thinking if I took it to its extreme then I could write a 'list' with just one item on it. Then do that. Then write another list of one thing...and so on.

It could be that, as you suggest, I'm overwhelming my brain with a long list of non-urgent and quite boring things and my brain is rebelling and doing other (more interesting) stuff instead.

I value self-discipline but I also value freedom and that may be what's causing the inner conflict. (?)

Anyway, I appreciate your help and I'll hopefully plough through lots of things tomorrow one by one!

DLH

[impaul99]

How about this. Make a list of the major outcomes you want to achieve in your life. For example, your item of "I should call a friend or family member" may be part of a greater vision of something like:

"I share wonderful relationships with my friends and family. I am respectful, helpful, and I always enjoy sharing my positive energy with them..."

or something like that. So it's more of a vision for your entire life, rather than just "I should call Frank"

You could break down your life into 6-8 categories and develop a vision statement for each one of the categories (Health, Finances, Relationships, Fun/Relaxation, Spirituality, etc.).

Now, every morning, you can look at your vision, and then simply ask yourself one question "What will I enjoy doing in this category today."

For your relationship example, that specific day you may "feel like" and "enjoy" doing something else other than "Call this person today.". Like for example you may know that they are down and depressed right now because their pet died, and you *should* call them, but really you haven't been feeling too good yourself the last few days, and you don't really want to talk to them because you're afraid they might depress you because you're kind of off your game right now, so instead of feeling guilty about not calling them, maybe you would enjoy doing something else. Like, for example, you may write and send them a Christmas card. Or you may write a letter to someone totally different.

I guess what I'm saying is that I've tried all these different "systems" out there, but I always find that instead of doing what I "*should*" do, I always end up doing what I like doing (long term anyways). So instead of looking for the things that I should (and probably won't) do and writing those down, I instead look for what I could actually ENJOY (and probably will) doing that day.

So instead of writing down 30-40 things I SHOULD do, and then feeling crappy because I only did 1 or 2 of those, I prefer to list 7-8 things that I would ENJOY doing today and end up doing 90-100% of those.

If you do 7-8 things you ENJOY towards your 6-8 categories each day, pretty quickly all of your "SHOULDS" will disappear and you'll stack up a lot of positive momentum.

Just something to think about.

[Lola]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Then "eat the biggest frog first";

May I just say - eeewwwww!

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

do the thing that you think will be the most difficult first. That way, it's out of the way quickly and you'll have a sense of accomplishment that can carry you through the rest of the list.

Or - do lots of the little, easy things which drastically reduces your to-do list leaving you with just that one task. Then you can trick, erm, convince yourself that it will be quickly disposed of - after all, look how quickly you did all these other things.

[Dreamlife Hero]

Thanks for all the helpful advice guys. I particularly like the idea of linking my tasks to a larger purpose (and so making the smaller, less interesting task a step in a much larger goal).

Some things are just so boring (but necessary) ie buying razers and cleaning the bathroom!

I mentioned in my last posting that I intended to try making a list of one item, doing it, then another one etc.. but when I woke up this morning another idea had come to me which I thought I'd try... and it's worked beautifully for me. I'd got more done by 9.30am than I often do all day!

I thought I'd share it in case it appeals to anyone else who's encountered a similar inability to work through the usual 'to do' list. It may not work for someone else and many people might just think it's plain stupid... but hey, whatever works works right?

I decided to write the list backwards... in other words I wake up and then just begin doing tasks as they occur to me, in an order that seems logical and spontaneous. Once the task has been done I'm then writing it on a piece of A4 paper (like I usually write my 'to do' list: and then DON'T do ). After a couple of hours of this there's a long neat list of things I've done; some minor, some major and all fun (done with a focus of present-moment awareness).

I think the reason this approach has been successful is because I don't like being told what to do (even by myself ).. or it could possibly because once I've written a 'to do' list my brain is relaxing and thinking "OK that's done now relax and do something else"!!! (Doh! Stupid brain!)

Anyway..I'm finding this site incredibly motivating. It's like having a gigantic mastermind group to call upon for advice and inspiration.

Hopefully my input will resonate with someone else too.

DLH

[jshine2]

My favorite method for taking action consistently is locking myself in the bathroom and saying to myself "I'm not allowed to leave unless I'm going to do <whatever it is i need to do>. No matter how long it takes, and no matter what happens outside, I'm not leaving."

I know I'm ready to leave when my body automatically jumps out of the toilet and my mind also agrees that it's ready to do it.

I ask myself "Are you ready to do it?" when my body jumps out just to make sure my mind is in sync. If one is out of sync I stay. The longest I've stayed in the bathroom was 2 hours.

This method creates an either-or context. Sometimes my worst fear in a worst-case scenario is not as bad as sitting in a toilet by myself for 2 hours.

I like the bathroom the most because it's uncomfortable. I'll fall asleep if I lock myself in my room.

[Kaspian]

Originally Posted by impaul99

...I always find that instead of doing what I "*should*" do, I always end up doing what I like doing (long term anyways). So instead of looking for the things that I should (and probably won't) do and writing those down, I instead look for what I could actually ENJOY (and probably will) doing that day.

Yes, absolutely.

I have begun to see the words, "I should ...." as a big, red warning sign. "I should" often means "I don't want to." If I waste time making myself do things I don't want to do, I end up grumpy and unmotivated. On the flip side, when I fill my days doing what I want to do, I feel much better *and* get things done.

[evelynlim]

I also agree that it is best to start with having a clear understanding of what your vision is and then break down to smaller goals.

Your situation reminds me of a friend I have. She is a successful entrepreneur, with a thriving antique business, until a few years ago. For some reason, she just could not focus. She could not explain why. After trying out several forms of therapy and treatment, she decided to have a go at hypnosis. During her sessions, she found out that her problem had to do with some childhold trauma that she went through. When she had the insight and understanding, her problems with having focus disappeared.

So, if you can't find any solution elsewhere, you may want to try hypnosis to get some answers.

Cheers,
Evelyn