Career Apathy (Blog)

[Steve Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Career Apathy

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina, Career Apathy

In dealing with such people, I often wish I could rip my heart out of my chest and stick it in their chest to give them the courage they need to get moving. But I’d never do that because it would make a real mess of my circulatory system, I’d die an agonizing death, and there’s no guarantee the other person is the same blood type as me.

Pfft, what sort of defeatist attitude is that, Steve?! If you really cared about helping people you'd find a way to make it work. I thought you had no fear of death and had relinquished egoic attachment to your physical body? Clearly you're just in it for the money.

Also, stop writing these "pie in the sky" articles about things you "woulda-shoulda-coulda" and get down to some practical stuff I can actually use. In other words, cough up your heart!



(I'm sorry guys, I had to... damn parody is 1337. )

[Aubyrne]

That was probably one of the top five entries I have ever read on the blog.

I know so many people who spend most of their free time trying desperately to forget what they did in their unfree time. Heck, at times that is exactly what I do. It is sometimes a difficult pattern to acknowledge, and Steve nailed it.

I think I responded to it so well because it made a very strong emotional appeal, especially by the use of strong imagery (i.e. "rip my heart out of my chest"), not just the usual Steve-style primarily and faultlessly logical appeal.

Leave it to Steve to make an emotional appeal in a logical way.

[greyman]

There is a lot of truth in the article, but what I find crucial is to look down inside trying to figure out what the fundamental problem is. Maybe the apathy is just a manifestation of some deeper problem, in which case just switching careers may not automatically solve it.

I remember that in the past I also did have some feelings of dissatisfaction about my job, but after identifying and then overcoming some internal problem (like for example insufficient work morale, attachment to my own ego, etc.), suddenly the dissatisfaction disappeared and everything seemed to be "just right".

[Lauxa]

People don't have to give up on after-work hours just because they don't like their jobs. They can have very active lives filled with community service, family responsibilities, church involvement, hobbies, travel, etc. While it would be better to be excited about their jobs, for many people a job is just a means to an end, the end being all these other outlets of expression.

[wolfgang]

I combat my work apathy by reading stevepavlina.com - is that ironic?

But otherwise - I could be happier and it's not the job it's my approach to work. It not the particular choice in my career, in other words.

Also if he apathy is due to a bad decision - it is supposednly better to deal with the bad decision and not just run from the job and think it would be more thrilling to be a starving rock star. We all need to deal with what is right in front of us or the next thing will be just antoher version of what is current.

Not every job gets to save the world and be glorious but one's attitude can.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Good article. Top notch. That whole analogy about taking your heart out of your chest...you might be right about suffering an agonizing death. I had a cousin who tried that back in the '80s and it did not end well. Anyway, looking forward to your next post. Blog on!

[Peek]

Interesting article in many ways.

Steve, your heart, you can keep it, and if you want to give it away, donate to Erin. She will keep it beating

Serious: Is there anybody who has the career s/he loves and falls into escapism, as described?

I thought I love what I do or I do what I love, but I escape a lot of evenings and mornings.... So where I'm I?

Mind Disturbing article...Must be good


Peek

[Natsu]

I feel totally identified with that post. At times.

I try to find my own career path in-between odd jobs, which my family doesn't like much. They want me to settle down, get a stable job, you know the tune. Whenever I find a temporary odd job to make ends meet, I'm always wanting my contract to end so I can go back to my drawings, my writings and my political stances. And the job goes OK as long as I know it's going to be over some day. When I have free time, however, I can't focus on one of my interests, and in the end I haven't managed yet to be a genius artist, a genius writer or a genius politician (still working on it, though). When money runs out, I go for a job again for a time. And whenever I find a job which has the possibility of being stable, I attract disgrace.

Honestly, I haven't managed to make the law of attraction work for the good, but for the bad, my goodness does it work! Basically, it makes my car crash down. When I'm focusing on my art, or working a temp job, everything goes fine. But whenever I get a job which threatens to be stable, and feel pressured by friends and family to keep it... I try to convince myself that I need the job, that I'm going to stay, that this last one isn't that bad, that it's going to be OK, I discipline myself into doing well on a work I don't like and I feel shackled to by family duty. Twice I managed to do so. Twice, I got a car breakdown that simply swept away all the money I had earned at the job (thrice, in fact). I don't believe in the law of attraction... but for bad things how well it works! It's practically automatic!

This second time I felt threatened to be stuck in a job I don't like (I'm still working here), I was specially careful with the car, so I wouldn't have economical problems with it. I disciplined myself into being overtly cautious so this time my not-wanting to do the job wouldn't interfere with my need of the paycheck. Well, the universe took care of things in the shape of a gas-station worker who put gasoline in my diesel engine. The price of the repairs is going to be otrageous, and the whole motor is practically destroyed, because coincidentally, I filled it when it was almost empty. Something I never do.These coincidences... Repairs are going to cost like three month's wages. I never believed in the law of attraction, but sometimes I feel the universe slaps me when it thinks I'm not doing things correctly. The car got broken after the gasoline incident. I got it out of the repairing shop yesterday, and three hours after, it wouldn't work and the engine smoked. And very next thing I see after the breakdown van carries me home, is Steve's post. Yeah, it can be a coincidence. Another one to the list. But I can't ignore coincidences when they cost money, I need those damn euros to pay the bills... And this time it wasn't subconscious boycott, unless I am a subconscious telepath and sent waves of need for failure to the gas station worker. Which would be most cool if it wasn't that expensive. Argh.

I just wonder why it works for bad things and not for the good ones. I've been told that I shouldn't try to do drawings, writings and politics all at once. That I should choose ONE career choice. Point is, I don't want to. I mean, choosing one career and closing the door to the other activities I enjoy and feel right doing feels so disempowering and wrong. Why can't one have three careers at once? It's not like Leonardo was a specialist, either... Sorry, this post is not about law of attraction, but about wrong career choices.

Anyway... For some reason I never get to the state of apathy when I try to dumbforce myself into an unfulfilling career. I just get angsty, unhappy, depressed... and kicked in the ass by either fortune, fate, destiny or the universe, whatever. I just wish the universe would be more helpful about what I want to do... Maybe it just doesn't allow betrayals for the sake of the mortgage.

Bah, don't pay me much attention. Maybe it's just coincidence. I don't hate this job that much. I can do some drawings and get paid for it... still, supposedly, if I could stay fifty years working here I should count myself lucky, everyone says. And yet the prospect of spending three more years here gives me shudders... to think of retiring in this job is scary. I sometimes feel like screaming "I want out!" So I must be doing something wrong.

[mahreenferdous]

What should one do if one feels that someone else is in this trap of an unfulfilled career and is suffering from apathy? Is there a way of making them realize their situation without offending or hurting them?

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by mahreenferdous

What should one do if one feels that someone else is in this trap of an unfulfilled career and is suffering from apathy? Is there a way of making them realize their situation without offending or hurting them?

Very good question.

Best you can probably do in that situation is to point the person in the direction where they might find information and opportunities to get out of their current situation. Ultimately, the decision has to be theirs.

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by Peek

Serious: Is there anybody who has the career s/he loves and falls into escapism, as described?

It can happen. My first job was a dream for me. I loved it. However the job comes not only with things you do, but with the environment bundled together. And that can be dire. So you might get the career apathy despite the fact you love it. The very things that you do becomes the way to escape reality. Especially if you job is video-game developer as it was for me. Because of love I managed to cope for a long time .

The only positive outcome of that job is that I don't like to play video-games anymore.

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by Natsu

Bah, don't pay me much attention. Maybe it's just coincidence. I don't hate this job that much. I can do some drawings and get paid for it... still, supposedly, if I could stay fifty years working here I should count myself lucky, everyone says. And yet the prospect of spending three more years here gives me shudders... to think of retiring in this job is scary. I sometimes feel like screaming "I want out!" So I must be doing something wrong.

You were speaking your truth up until that last paragraph. You're experiencing a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10, trying to convince yourself that it's really a 7 and that maybe a 7 isn't so bad. Better to accept a 1 as a 1 and then focus on building the strength and courage to go after the 9 or 10 you really want.

It's great you're experiencing setbacks on the wrong path -- that's far better than going numb. The setbacks will continue to occur until you start cooperating with your higher purpose instead of fighting/ignoring it. The more setbacks you have, the stronger and clearer your desire for what you want will become.

You might find some of the concepts in this older article helpful:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...rker-syndrome/

And of course your situation is very similar to the one in this article:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles...onsciously.htm

[doriette]

This post was amazingly written.

This morning, on my commute to work, I read through my backlog of blog posts, printed straight from my RSS feed. I started with Do You Have a Deeply Fulfilling Career?, and read through Career Apathy in one shot.

Well! This entry in particular hit all the right buttons. As in I was sitting on the train, and I started to cry. (How's that for zipping through the levels of consciousness scale?)

Then, just after the tears started, I began to laugh in response to the wonderful imagery of a literal heart wrenching.

The timing was ideal.

It's a very compelling argument, and I may have finally been, well, compelled.

(And I'm definitely going to re-read The Courage to Live Consciously. It's been too long since I did it last. Thanks for the reminder, Steve.)

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

You were speaking your truth up until that last paragraph. You're experiencing a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10, trying to convince yourself that it's really a 7 and that maybe a 7 isn't so bad. Better to accept a 1 as a 1 and then focus on building the strength and courage to go after the 9 or 10 you really want.

Problem is, if money doesn't start appearing when I'm not working, I get pressure from family and friends (husband, both sides of the family) to get "stabilized", to get "normal". I've never listened to violent peer pressure, but I never realized how strong the pressure can be when it comes from people who actually love you and mean the best for you. If someone tried to convince me that my trousers were nasty at school, ten kids insulting me wouldn't remotely convince me that they were right. But people who really care about me manage to get me down. I feel I am betraying them if I don't manage to make ends meet. It's because I care for them. Maybe I'm focusing my love for them in the wrong way. And I feel also guilty for my boss, he's been training me for a time and if I leave all that time will be wasted.

I wrote that last "it's not that bad sentence" out of guilt, I think. I mean, saying "I'm quitting my job because law of attraction wants me to" isn't something that feels right. Or won't sound right if you try to explain it. Problem is... I didn't remember when I wrote my first post, but there was a fourth case. I tried to be an insurance commercial once. Day I had to start I fell and sprained my ankle bad. It got plastered for fifteen days, so I had to leave the job. Thinking I actually attracted one car crash, one extremely painful injure, and two heavy car problems makes me think I'm sometimes crazy, just admitting I caused such trouble to my family and my economy makes me feel guilty. I wouldn't cause such losses and trouble on purpose.

That's when you say I have the responsibility, whether I want to admit it or not. I guess ignoring one's power is like letting a child with a tantrum play with dinamite. It's going to be there, whether you want it or not. I want my family to be happy and I want to help with their financial susteinance, but I guess making myself unhappy ever after isn't the answer. I just don't dare admit it because I fear failure.

When I said my new job wasn't that bad, I really meant it: the previous two were 0 and -1 in every human scale. This one's a 2, it has creative input, uses all my strenghts (administration, English and arts), and actually includes creative work. I guess I'm scared of leaving this one because, as far as jobs are, they just don't get better than this one. Still, it feels like a trap. Still, the "Am I going to stay here for years?" is pounding in my head for at least six of every eight hours I spend there. Not the best ratio, indeed. Slightly better than before, maybe that's why I'm even more scared of losing this one. The reasoning is, "if I lose this one and I fail, whatever comes next will be worse".

I am so glad I asked here. That sentence was weighing inside me, until I opened the first link you gave me and read Hellen Keller's "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure."

Well, things are getting better at my intention-manifestation world. I've found your post exactly at the time I needed it the most, and your answer. I guess things are getting better. Now it's just creating possitive feelings. At least I know how strong they have to be to work.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

It's great you're experiencing setbacks on the wrong path -- that's far better than going numb. The setbacks will continue to occur until you start cooperating with your higher purpose instead of fighting/ignoring it. The more setbacks you have, the stronger and clearer your desire for what you want will become.

I can count myself lucky, then! I feel so happy now. Resigning next Monday. By the way, the universe game me a needed push making my boss ask me to have an impossible schedule, so family actually wants me to quit. Geez, I must learn to get this results for the possitive side. I must be as happy and hopeful and yearning for what I'll do, as strongly as I was unhappy and desperate and fearing the time to go to work before. I guess I've learned something from this. And funny thing is, in the end things sorted themselves out. The car will move again (wasn't that badly damaged), family has suddenly chose not to pressure me into taking certain jobs... And only thing I did was feel awfully bad. I'll start practicing feeling awfully well, and check out the results!

Thank you very much for the links. It is the first time I feel a good sinchronicity happen, strong and clear. So far, it's only been the bad ones. I so much needed to read that "Safety is mostly a superstition". I had forgotten.

[KeithHandy]

I relate to a lot of what Natsu is posting here. Is it not possible to have a job which has a symbiotic yin-yang relationship with our creative home life, instead of sucking energy from it, at least until the day comes when our labor of love starts turning into actual dollars and cents?

And couldn't the universe say, "okay, you're creating a workable balance here, and making great progress at home, so I'll stop sabotaging your car"?

[Steve Pavlina]

Yin-yang balance doesn't mean having some of what you don't want mixed with some of what you do want.

Balance is a noble concept, but I think the right balance is a balance of many different things that you do want.

So enjoy your work tremendously, but also enjoy your off hours tremendously. Life works pretty well this way.

Even when you love your work and your family, there will be some off days, but if off days on either side become the default, that's a bit of a problem.

I was just reviewing Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Inspiration where he wrote that it's been years since he can recall a day where he felt totally uninspired. I think that's a great outcome to aim for.

Creating an inspired life can be a real challenge, but it's a worthwhile one.

[Elainemarley]

Hi all, this is my first post in the forums. I apologize for my bad english, it's been too long since I last practiced it.
I've read Steve's blog for a while now and find some of the articles just absolutely clever. Some of them quite inspirational for my own life. But this one was just a bullet to my heart. I'll explain myself.

I'm a 22 year old architect student and I live in Spain. I'll give you some more background: I've never known what I wanted to study, which my career would be or what I wanted to do as a job. I didn't know what I was good at. I liked writing, I liked drawing, I liked thinking, photography, computers, reading... But I didn't feel like I was good at any of my skills. I wanted to do something creative, I felt it in my inside, but I somehow knew that I wasn't going to be as good as some other people I knew at it. I wasn't a bad student, but I didn't study much.

Then I decided to go for architecture. It thought it was going to be dificult but I would like it. I still don't know I made the right choice, because If I give it up I don't know what I would do know instead of it.

I started my first year and after a few months at university my father died. He was the one that was there to male sure that I did the right thing. From then on I was free to decide what I'd do, make my choices with no one interfering. My mom would never ask me to study if was watching the tv or playing games. I started going out with a boy on a long-term relashionship for the first time and that was the only thing I wanted to do. The first four years at university where almost useless for me as a student and I got a routine of not going to class when I felt I didn't want to.

Now I got a job at one of my teacher's office. At first it was awesome. I was doing real architecture and learning a lot. However I feel guilty because I think I'm not right for the job because I've learned so little from my classes. That is making me bad at work and my boss is starting to br aware of it.

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I feel useless and trapped. I'm happy with my boyfriend, I really love him. I love spending my time with him. There are other things that make me feel good. I have a blog (wich I have recently abandoned) and I started to learn CSS and HTML by myself. I did a bit of my boss' website as part of my job. Still I don't feel I'm good at it, no one thaught me what I know now and I still have a lot to learn. I like doing many things I'm not doing. When I go home back from work I don't want to do anything. I just sit on my mac and play world of warcraft. I like it to, I have friends there and I have fun, and my boyfriends plays it too. But I don't do anything else. I don't blog, I don't study, I don't go out with friends... I only go to my boyfriend's house and play WoW there or I'm just with him. He broke his arm recently and he's not in the mood of going out too much.

It's not like I'm depressed or something, because I feel quite happy for what I have. I just feel guilty that I'm wasting beautiful years of my life doing nothing and I'm getting used to it. I feel like I have no strength to make the move and go out from the pit I've thrown myself into. And I'm quite aware of that, and that makes my feel worse.

Look at me, I'm here, writing this in a forum waiting for someone I don't know and who doesn't know me to give me the answer and tell me what to do. Because I can't do it by myself and being aware of my problem it's driving me nuts.

[Laranja]

Originally Posted by Natsu

When I said my new job wasn't that bad, I really meant it: the previous two were 0 and -1 in every human scale. This one's a 2, it has creative input, uses all my strenghts (administration, English and arts), and actually includes creative work. I guess I'm scared of leaving this one because, as far as jobs are, they just don't get better than this one. Still, it feels like a trap. Still, the "Am I going to stay here for years?" is pounding in my head for at least six of every eight hours I spend there.

Let me help on this.

What we have here is a problem on a strategic level. Nothing more.

So what kind of strategy you can use to win this game?

Let me suggest on possibility. This is meant as inspiration, I hope in the end you will discover your own "moves". But let's get started.

First, do your level-2 job as awesome as you can. This gives you time to find your true path. It also calms down the unnecessary battlecries in your family life. And your boss gets something in return.

Step two is: you start to build your dream-career. Whatever it is. Somehow you will start with learning. Then you will advance it as a side issue. And finally you go full-time.

Then, and only then you will be ready to quit level-2 job without fear and guilt. Make an offer to your boss that you feel is fair game for both of you.

This can be many solutions.

Examples:

a) You train your sucessor in level-2 job for a year or so to get her at your level of doing the job. You get some form of financial reward for that.

b) You develop your level-2 job into a side business. First, you will do this work, later you train somebody else while getting more such business in your area and so on.

c) You keep your level-2 job and your true path job as a side-business. Arange with your boss. Maybe he can hire somebody else part-time. So you become a team.

I think all of my suggestions are pathetic and not very creative. But they are simple solutions that work anyway. I am sure you'll find something better. Just get going...

Keep in mind: this is only a strategic puzzle. No big deal. Be courageous!

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by Laranja

a) You train your sucessor in level-2 job for a year or so to get her at your level of doing the job. You get some form of financial reward for that.

That's funny, I started doing that exactly today. See. I don't want to stay in this job. But my boss is a really good man, very understanding. Though the best of him is that he's following his dream, he's working for a purpose. He's creating a new glass art academy (there is none in the Southern half of Spain). I prefer this job to any of the others because at least I'm working for a purpose. Only problem is, it's not my purpose. Still, far better, far more creative than any of the previous ones. So I just contacted a girl who works in stained glass and is also a teacher, and needs a three month contract. If she knows advanced english and a little bit of Office, she can take my job. In fact, as she is a glass-art teacher, she can probably be a better asset to my boss than even I am. So that would solve everything. I'm staying in this job until december, and then I'm quitting and recommending this other girl to my boss. I'll train her myself, and then leave.

In the meanwhile, I'm working in preparing my website with a portfolio of my illustrations. Your advice was really good, I think: I was already planning to do exactly the same. ;-)

About the abilities needed... if it's about illustration and writing, I think I have managed to develop them prettily in the last three years. Now I have to develop the self-discipline to learn other necessary skills to make myself well-known (web designing, basically). But anything that is not doing the big jump is stagnation from this point on. There was a time when I was sad and depressed because I thought I wasn't good enough at my art. Now I feel depressed because I'm not getting paid for my art. Not that I'm great yet (still working on it), but I am good, and possibly good enough. And as long as it's good enough, I have to try for it.

As for my family... I'll have to do serious talks with them to explain what I'm going to do. They may not like it, but they have to understand, specially my husband. I supported him hard when he wanted to achive his first dream: a big house. Now I will ask him to support me. It's now or never. (Well, knowing my astounding ability to tell the universe I am dissatisfied, it is trying now or having another accident or illness and trying later with less money. So I better make up my mind to save as much as I can this December, and try to fly this January. It is settled. I hope I get family support because if I don't get family support I'm getting family anger. I'm not complying this time. I know it won't work, it never does.

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by Elainemarley

Look at me, I'm here, writing this in a forum waiting for someone I don't know and who doesn't know me to give me the answer and tell me what to do. Because I can't do it by myself and being aware of my problem it's driving me nuts.

You seem to have a wide arrange of interests. No one among us can tell us which will end up being your passion.

I know about the "not feeling good enough" phase. I was there two or three years ago. The answer is, practice, practice, practice. You should devote yourself into getting really good at two or three of your interests. Architecture-web designing - art sounds a great combination. You have to specialize in one, if only to see that you can get really good at it. You may be unwilling to devote such long hours to get better because of fear of making the wrong choice. Well, forget about that. There are no wrong choices in learning. All the courses I've done have served me for one thing or the other. Learning is never wasted. So, among you chief interests now, pick one and practice. And practice. And practice. Until there comes a point (and you'll notice when you get there, believe me) when you feel you are good enough.

Before feeling "good enough" there are intermediate steps. The "Whoa! Did I do it!" step. The "Argh! I just can't!" step (lots of these along the way) and the "Wheeee! I could!" point.

If you don't give up in the frustration point "Argh! I just can't! This balaustrade doesn't look marble, and I already spent twenty hours on it!", and actually defeat the bitchy marble balaustrade, the sense of self worth and satisfaction will be great. First, because you actually did it when it felt impossible. Second, because after you get to know how it's done, you can do marble balaustrades easily and quickly. And most important, third: next time you face a seemingly unbeatable obstacle, you will KNOW that you can beat it, you will KNOW that if you keep on trying, and keep on trying, and keep on trying, you will do it. Because you've been there, done that. The first impossibly-high wall you climb is the hardest, because in the middle of the trip you are doubting if you'll make it. You want to go back and stop there. But after you've jumped that one, it's like if the wall had fallen at your back. Next wall you see is less impressive. Don't get me wrong, next one will still be hard, will take all your strength and perseverance, because if you see it as a wall chances are it's far higher than the last one. But this time you know the feeling. You know you can make it, when you weren't that sure before. And after that, it's not easier (in fact it will get harder), but it will feel easier.

If you are afraid of choosing wrong, choosing a path, working hard and climbing a million walls just to find afterwards that this is not the path you like, and these are not your walls... That's OK. Don't be afraid of that. If you switch careers, any effort that you've spent in the last one will be helpful for the next one. Physichs may be very different from say, Cantonese. But if you climb the walls of Physics, when you get to Cantonese, you'll know how to face adversity, how to face the setbacks, the stagnation, the frustrating "I can't!" times. You'll know you can. Maybe not today, maybe not in the next five, twenty, hundred hours. But you'll know it's just a question of time. Coolest thing is, after a one-hundred hours work, repeating the same work takes only five or six. Only you don't want to stop there, and go for even more difficult works. But you are getting better in the way, you feel satisfied and worthy. And besides, when you get to know the chosen field in-depth, you'll get to know if that's the big one, the one you wanted... Or not.

I hope I was at least a little bit helpful. Remember, none of us can tell you what's best for you. You alone can find out. And having superficial knowledge of a field won't tell you if you like it, just as looking at a book cover won't tell you if the book will move you. Get acquainted and proficient in one of your skills, at least. Even if what you get to know is only that you could do it, and that this one skill is not the one you love best, that alone will be far better than what you have now.

[KeithHandy]

Originally Posted by Natsu

You seem to have a wide arrange of interests. No one among us can tell us which will end up being your passion.

I know about the "not feeling good enough" phase. (....) You know you can make it, when you weren't that sure before. And after that, it's not easier (in fact it will get harder), but it will feel easier. (....)

Good post.

[Lauxa]

Natsu,

I don't know what you have decided is your purpose, but you mentioned writing and illustration and I would like you to check out my website and see if there is any synchronicity there for you.

Basically, I am developing a flashcards website for children but I also want to include children's books. I have found some free books from Project Gutenberg for starters, but I am interested in finding author/illustrators to publish free children's books on my site, as well as books that people will pay a small fee to access.

PM me if you would like to talk more about this project.

[Elainemarley]

Originally Posted by Natsu

The answer is, practice, practice, practice.

I really wish I could do that...

I love architecture, I really like it. There are some very interesting subjects I study there. The problem is, when I come home, I just can't sit on the chair and start to work. When the clock sounds in the morning, most days I won't get up and go to class. I'm scaping from what I'm ought to do. I'm not working at all in any field I like or might like. I'm totally stucked. And I don't know why.

I truly know about my potential, I just feel I can't move my legs, my arms, anything to reach my goals. I constantly escape from facing my books, my website, my art... And it's getting worse every single day.

[daolover]

i loved this blog. i've gone through every emotion described, and what you wrote made me realize what i need to do. it's always a scary situation when one has to seriously consider a career change; and although i've only been in the position i'm in now for a short time, i've been doing this same type of work for years. it's time for me to take a step away from what i'm doing to really assess what it is that I want to do. even if it means a paycut, being happy really is much better than being upset and rich. thank you again, and i'm now a reader for life.

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by Elainemarley

I really wish I could do that...

I love architecture, I really like it. There are some very interesting subjects I study there. The problem is, when I come home, I just can't sit on the chair and start to work. When the clock sounds in the morning, most days I won't get up and go to class. I'm scaping from what I'm ought to do. I'm not working at all in any field I like or might like. I'm totally stucked. And I don't know why.

What you seem to have is a depression, even if it's on a slight state. Even if you only are apathetic, if you let it drag you down, you'll end up being depressed. And quite soon.

You MUST and it's a must, force yourself out of the apathy. The best antidepressants are sex and exercise. Exercise has the added advantage of making you work on your self-discipline.

Hit the gym, or the park, or rope-jump half an hour a day. It will give you energy. Mind you, it doesn't matter if you feel in the mood or not. Just do it. It will help you feel more energized for the rest of the day.

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Natsu

Problem is, if money doesn't start appearing when I'm not working, I get pressure from family and friends (husband, both sides of the family) to get "stabilized", to get "normal". I've never listened to violent peer pressure, but I never realized how strong the pressure can be when it comes from people who actually love you and mean the best for you. If someone tried to convince me that my trousers were nasty at school, ten kids insulting me wouldn't remotely convince me that they were right. But people who really care about me manage to get me down. I feel I am betraying them if I don't manage to make ends meet. It's because I care for them. Maybe I'm focusing my love for them in the wrong way. And I feel also guilty for my boss, he's been training me for a time and if I leave all that time will be wasted.

I wrote that last "it's not that bad sentence" out of guilt, I think. I mean, saying "I'm quitting my job because law of attraction wants me to" isn't something that feels right. Or won't sound right if you try to explain it.

Natsu, I can relate to the whole "peer pressure" from family. It's crazy, as soon as you're not 'working' they jump down your throat. I know it's just them caring for your own wellbeing, but it's rooted in fear.

I take a slightly different perspective from Steve on making the transition to your dream job/doing what you love. I wrote an article about it today. You might find it interesting:

Making the Transition to Doing What You Love for a Living | Inspired Money Maker - How To Make Money Doing What You Love

[Elainemarley]

I can say I'm not depressed, I know myself. I'm just escaping from a part of my life: from my career. It's interesting that you say that sex would cheer me up. Right know my sex life is better than ever. So are my emotional life and my love life.

I just stop thinking about my career and my choices and think about what makes me feel good. Playing WoW, loving my boyfriend... I just can't be productive anymore but I try not to think about it in a way that would make me feel depressed.

When I lost my father my life was broken. Everything was diferent and nothing meant the same to me anymore. I learned lots of things from that. One was that it wasn't fair to be unhappy when I still had so much in my life. I embraced life in a special way that I don't think will ever banish as time goes by. I will never forget what my father taught my by leaving us, that's why I know I'm not depressed.

However, not feeling depressed doesn't mean I'm not sad about my situation. I'm worried and that's why I'm trying to find a solution. I've lost 4 years of college, now it's time to finally start working and studying real hard. The problem is that I don't know if I've made the wrong choice (architecture) or there's something inside me that keeps me from fighting for what I want to do. As it also stops me from doing things that I know I love, like blogging, photography or art, that tells me is not just about making a decision on my career but starting to do something productive with my life in as many ways I need to.

How do I start working? How do I sit down in front of the table and open the books for real? How do I face myself and my fears or whatever is making me escape my responsibilities?

Again, sorry for my english, I wish I could practice a lot more, I really like the language.

And thank you for your kind answers.

[Wulfen]

Hey Natsu, how goes?

I'm at a slightest more advanced point in the development of my choice career, so I thought I could share my perspective here.

I've been working at my desired career on my free time for around a year or so. It's been a hell of a ride, and so far it doesn't make too much money. However, now I can see that one could potentially earn a living from it. But one has to pay the rent in the meantime.

It's a cruel dilemma. The fears here are actually grounded in reality. What if I am deluded? What if my company flops and I burn through all my savings and I'm back to square one, but also burnt out by the failure?

Motivation helps, but unfortunately it doesn't pay the bills. It's still important, but the article "The Courage of Living Consciously" by Steve already saus everything that needs to be done.

So, on the practical side, what can we do?

On quality. You need to produce something of value, something that people will actually be interested in. Scott Addams - the creator of Dilbert - said that when he was beginning, to judge the quality of his comic strips, he didn't use the reviews from colleagues, or how much did they laugh. He said that the way to set apart a really good strip for a normal one was if the people who read them wanted to show them to their friends. Think "Order of the Stick", people read the strip for free in the website, and they buy the book, with the same strips, since it's so damn good.

So quality is a must. If you want a more scientific explanation you can check this article by Jakob Nielsen: Write Articles, not Blog Postings.

A good test of quality is whether people start linking to you spontaneously - without you asking for it - or, better off, start plagiarizing your content. We've had articles copied verbatim from our website (you can leverage this by contacting the offending site and asking for a link, usually they have no problems linking back). The topmost would be to appear on a social news site (we've appeared just once in the top social news site from Spain and it gave us a load of visits).

This serves, first, to demonstrate to yourself that your stuff is worthy. If some people want to copy it, and vote for it on a social news site, then most possibly some other people would buy a book on the same style of that material.

It also gives you a guideline on which to base future materials. Do more of what people copy and less of what people don't

Second, you need a way to monetize the products of your passions and desires. Ok, people like it, it has value, but what's in it for you? You still need to pay the bills.

There are many ways to monetize your content or services, and it depends mainly on the type of product or service you're offering. Our main product now is a live workshop, the main advantage is that it being offline people can't download it from emule But you can also create ebooks, get into affiliate programs, and so on. I am not very fond of advertising venues like adsense since they don't seem to yield much money, and as Brian Clark of copyplogger points out, earning money through google adsense actually means working for google.

Ok, so you've got the website, you've got the attention and you've got the traffic. Now what?

On making money: so far I'm making around 100 € / month on average. That's not enough by any means to live. Heck, it's not enough to pay for drinks. But it's the first step. Now I'm at the crossroads where the income from my side project is not enough to quit my day job. And my day job is ugly but pays well. What I'm doing now is trying to create more streams of income to multiply the money that comes in, and have decided on a fixed minimum amount to quit my daily job (300 €, the cost of renting the room where I live).

The thing here is that I have tried to balance an optimistic view of my desires and abilities with a realistic view of, hey man, bills don't get paid on their own. My main problem is that I stand alone and have to pay a rent. I have my savings, of course, but I'd rather not burn through them, or just the bare minimum, just in case.

You fare better in this regard since you live in your own home and your husband can support you. You have a great opportunity there. But of course from the outside it might look as if you were lazy and wanted to stay at home and do nothing. That's why you should start monetizing your career of choice in any way, no matter how small, so you can say "see, this is making money, of course it's small, but it'll keep growing and growing".

Oh, and I was forgetting. I had three car problems last year. One time I burnt the engine. Twice I got hit by another car so I had to fix it. I can go to my office in subway but it's a long long ride. What did I do? I reframed it positively and I used the idle time to read some books that I had pending and some other stuff.

You can read some meaning in the actions of the universe. You can read negative meanings like "the universe is placing bumps on the road so that I am screwed". Or you can read it positively like "the universe is testing me, if I overcome these obstacles the universe will stop testing", or better "the universe does not want me to ride my car, perhaps it's because it wants me to stay at home working at my career of choice".

What I tend to think these days is that, sometimes, **** happens, and that I have to deal with them whether I have glorious plans to live my dream life or whether I'm happy just being a drone. I prefer to look on the positive side of things but sometimes there are things that are roadblocks no matter how rosy you want to see them.

But inertia is real. If you have enough push, enough motivation and can manage to put massive action into a well-thought plan, you can overcome the majority of roadblocks. And once you pass one, make a contingency plan so that if it happens again it does not affect you so much (actually, I was almost going to buy another 2nd hand car to have redundancy, to not lose so much time each time I have to take my car to the mechanic so I did not lose that time for working on my side business).

So, summing up, what I would do in your case would be:

* determine what product(s) or service(s) I would offer with my career of choice.

* start creating some content, check if people actually love it. If not, back to the drawing board. Rinse, repeat. Until people absolutely *love* your content.

* determine several ways to monetize your content. Not only one, since it might flop or not be enough. Brainstorm with someone at least 5 ways of earning money through easily selling your products and services. By "easily" I mean with no steps in the middle that don't depend on you like "an editor likes my book and agrees to publish it nationwide".

* calculate the income you get each month, even if it's pennies. Make a graphic and enjoy seeing it going upwards every month. It gives you more motivation than "Rich Dad Poor Dad" and "Think And Grow Rich" mixed with Red Bull.

* note down each contingency that might happen and a possible solution in case it actually happens. For instance I got aphony last workshop and I couldn't talk, but we got through it with the help of the other two instructors.

Best regards and keep us informed on the progresses !!!

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by impaul99

Natsu, I can relate to the whole "peer pressure" from family. It's crazy, as soon as you're not 'working' they jump down your throat. I know it's just them caring for your own wellbeing, but it's rooted in fear.

Well, to be precise, they don't pressure you when you're not "working", but when you're not getting money. Let's face the truth: if any of us won a lottery, our families would be thrilled to see us spending our free time developing our passions instead of wasting our time. We want the money, so the fear of the upcoming bills and of scarcity dissappears. Our family wants the money, too (for us, not for them). If our passion allowed us to support ourselves, they would puff up with pride and joy. They are just afraid that we become unable to support ourselves.
Their worries are not only based in fear, but also in reason, that's why it's so hard to resist them.

Originally Posted by impaul99

You might find it interesting:

Making the Transition to Doing What You Love for a Living | Inspired Money Maker - How To Make Money Doing What You Love

I found it great! It's such an optimistic perspective. Sometimes, compromising is the best choice.

Originally Posted by Wulfen

You fare better in this regard since you live in your own home

You have to remember that as long as the mortgage is "alive", I live in the bank's home. No one in my family forgets that. My mortgage is pretty unexpensive, and certainly safer than some rentals, since as long as I pay, there is no other owner who can fire me. But the fact remains that the bank owns my house until the mortgage is paid. And what a Damocles' sword is that one!

Originally Posted by Wulfen

and your husband can support you. You have a great opportunity there.

That would be unfair. My husband would not only be supporting me, but also the mortgage. I, who have always hated to ask for favours even when I have no choice, being maintained by my husband? That would make me feel guilty, because he dislikes his job as much as I dislike mine. Why shouldn't I work to support him so he can follow his passion, instead of the other way round? Grossly unfair. That's a huge no-no.

See, even if I slightly monetized my passion, I'd still be a parasite. My husband also wants to work on his passions. Unless I actually start getting good money for my art, it would be totally wrong to leave him with all the weight of both our expenses. Only when I can say "this is getting money in" would it be fair that I left my job.

Well, it's all question of trying again, and again and again.

I liked impaul99's essay very much. It resonates with my current needs and the current aspects of my job. I will put it into practice as soon as I can.