Career Apathy (Blog)

[britne]

I just read this blog post, and it was quite inspiring. The comments others have made have been great too.
Just one thing didn't sit right, though...

From my perspective such people have absolutely nothing to lose, however. To dump a job you don’t absolutely love is to give up nothing, regardless of how much money you’re making or how many years you’ve invested in it.

Let's say that I'm unhappy/in apathy with my job. (I'm not, really, but I'm trying to make a point. ) I'm the one who makes the money to support my family. I don't have the luxury of just walking away someday from a job I'm not so thrilled with.
Besides saving large sums of money just in case that ever happens, what suggestions would you have for someone who just can't financially afford to leave a job they hate?

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by britne

Let's say that I'm unhappy/in apathy with my job. (I'm not, really, but I'm trying to make a point. ) I'm the one who makes the money to support my family. I don't have the luxury of just walking away someday from a job I'm not so thrilled with.

The point is that you do have that luxury. Hiding behind the need to feed your family is just another excuse, one that continues to feed your apathy and despair. You'll be even more capable of meeting your needs and theirs on a path that inspires you. A lack of external resources is not the problem. A lack of inner resources is. If you were really committed to living an inspired life and stopped hiding behind such excuses, you'd see there are abundant options to keep everyone's bellies full during your transition.

Besides... if you've been doing such a fabulous job supporting your family thus far, perhaps they'll be willing to return the favor and give you some support in return. Tell them what you want. Tell them why it's so important to you. Ask them for their help.

[britne]

I'm not sure you're seeing my question. Again, hypothesizing, let's say I'm a single mom of a couple kids. I'm the only one that works. I'm not so thrilled with my job, but kids need clothes, food, daycare, etc.

What are these "abundant options" you speak of, for caring for a family, without money? I would love to know how to feed and shelter a family of three for free. (It would go a long way in improving the lives of the homeless... you should share your secrets with those less fortunate.)

As for support in return... how do you tell a child that you've chosen not to work (and not bring in any income) for a period of time, and expect them to understand when they go to bed hungry?

Again, I'm speculating. I'm not making excuses, I'm presenting a real-life possible situation. You advocate just walking away from anything that causes you unhappiness - and I want to know how that is practical.

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by britne

I'm not sure you're seeing my question. Again, hypothesizing, let's say I'm a single mom of a couple kids. I'm the only one that works. I'm not so thrilled with my job, but kids need clothes, food, daycare, etc.

What are these "abundant options" you speak of, for caring for a family, without money? I would love to know how to feed and shelter a family of three for free. (It would go a long way in improving the lives of the homeless... you should share your secrets with those less fortunate.)

As for support in return... how do you tell a child that you've chosen not to work (and not bring in any income) for a period of time, and expect them to understand when they go to bed hungry?

Again, I'm speculating. I'm not making excuses, I'm presenting a real-life possible situation. You advocate just walking away from anything that causes you unhappiness - and I want to know how that is practical.

I understand your questions. However, from my perspective you're simply blind to the answers. I guarantee you're absolutely surrounded by ways to make all the money you could possibly need doing something you love and spending time with the kids, but with a "work to pay the bills" mindset, you'll never see them. You'll just continue creating the conditions you expect. Without the will and the right mindset, you'll only see the thorns beneath the roses and take no action.

If there's a period of hardship to go through first, I would not expect your kids to understand. My kids certainly wouldn't. Kids don't understand a lot of things, and trying to control their understanding is pointless. They probably don't understand the sacrifice you're making now. There's no need to control other people's reactions to your decision. Just let them react however they want.

[britne]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

I guarantee you're absolutely surrounded by ways to make all the money you could possibly need doing something you love and spending time with the kids

My point was, show me. Or, in my hypothetical case, show that single mom with 2 kids, how to make enough money to support the family. You say there are "abundant options;" I want proof. Examples. Something besides lavish words.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

If there's a period of hardship to go through first, I would not expect your kids to understand. My kids certainly wouldn't. Kids don't understand a lot of things, and trying to control their understanding is pointless. They probably don't understand the sacrifice you're making now. There's no need to control other people's reactions to your decision. Just let them react however they want.

Again, you missed my point. You said to ask the family for support. I asked how to do that. Now you've said to let them react however they want.

I'm sorry, but I'm trying to understand your philosophy and your ideas, and it feels like you're trying to belittle my questions by being verbose and idealistic.

I would really appreciate some honest, practical feedback on how to implement these lofty ideas. From Steve, or from anyone else reading this.

[Steve Pavlina]

For proof of how it's done, walk into any bookstore or library and check out the business/entrepreneurial section. You'll find plenty of stories and examples from people who've done it, starting on welfare, with kids, in debt, etc. Those resources are readily available. Start with some of Og Mandino's books and go from there. Or read Mary Kay's story of how she built her own "pink Cadillac" empire from scratch. If you go to the library, you can read all the inspiring stories and how-to advice you want for free.

However, I can save you a trip because almost all of those books will tell you it starts with attitude and mindset. By comparison the how-to portion is almost trivial. If you have the right attitude, figuring out the how isn't that difficult. You'll make it happen one way or the other. Needing proof is a request that comes from the wrong mindset. Proof is for people who are looking to justify their excuses for inaction. With the right mindset you create your own proof.

Asking for proof without taking action is like looking at a fireplace and saying, "Give me some heat, and then I'll give you some wood." It's a recipe for remaining cold.

As for how to ask your family for support, you just say, "I'm going to make this change in my life. I'm asking for your help and support. Can I count on you to help me through this?" Then ask for specifically what you think you'll need. Listen to their response, and dialog about it.

If they choose not to support you, then you'll know you'll need to move forward w/o their help. Ask for help, but don't be attached to the outcome. Let them whine about it, and do it anyway. If it's the right decision, it's the right decision.

I have a poster on my office wall that says, "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows." When you waste time asking for proof that you can overcome all the blocks and excuses in your way, you're wallowing in the shadows. You'll never see the proof until you get out of the shade and start facing the sun. The proof appears after you get moving, not before.

[britne]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Needing proof is a request that comes from the wrong mindset. Proof is for people who are looking to justify their excuses for inaction. With the right mindset you create your own proof.

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

When you waste time asking for proof that you can overcome all the blocks and excuses in your way, you're wallowing in the shadows.

You must be right. I am wasting my time asking you for advice.
So I'm no longer following this thread, no longer subscribing to your blog, and no longer trying to heed your advice.

I came here asking for clarification on one of your blog posts. You have continually replied with insults. I'm done here.

[Steve Pavlina]

You asked for advice, and I told you the truth. It may not be a pleasant truth, but I certainly wasn't lying to you or trying to insult you. Nevertheless, your reaction is understandable... and a positive step IMO.

Take care.

[Dive Bomb]

Originally Posted by britne

I just read this blog post, and it was quite inspiring. The comments others have made have been great too.
Just one thing didn't sit right, though...

Let's say that I'm unhappy/in apathy with my job. (I'm not, really, but I'm trying to make a point. ) I'm the one who makes the money to support my family. I don't have the luxury of just walking away someday from a job I'm not so thrilled with.
Besides saving large sums of money just in case that ever happens, what suggestions would you have for someone who just can't financially afford to leave a job they hate?

Well saving large sums of money is the logical thing to do if you're in a hole like the situation you described. An alternative to saving would be borrowing money from a banks, friends, or family so she can venture out and find something she wants to do.

So yes she will have to continue "working" at a job she hates. But notice I put "working" in quotations. This is where the right attitude/mindset comes in that Steve has been trying to communicate too you. If she knows that working at this loathsome job is temporary and that something better is in store for her in the future, I don't think she is going to mind going to work. She has a plan, a vision. She is working for her goals and that will keep her going. Again, she needs to have clear goals and the right mindset to presevere. If she is strongly committed and takes the proper course of action, she'll eventually be able to quit her job and do something she likes doing or is comfortable doing.

[Natsu]

Originally Posted by britne

My point was, show me. Or, in my hypothetical case, show that single mom with 2 kids, how to make enough money to support the family. You say there are "abundant options;" I want proof. Examples. Something besides lavish words.

Working from home? I know a girl who lives out of making hat designs for brides, for example. You could also make watercolours, stained glass lamps... That's what I'd do. If I have to work outside the house, then I'd do that stuff in my spare time, until I started selling. Heck, that's what I'm trying to do now, I'm trying to switch jobs softly.

If there is nothing you can do because you lack the abilities or knowledge, first thing would be study/learn in your little free time until you got a grad or whatever you need to start moving. It may take years, of course.

J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter series while in a state of desperation and poverty, in cafes because she couldn't pay for her house heating, and with a baby girl as a burden. She put it all into that, I guess. I'll grant you she was astonishingly lucky, but maybe many other lone Moms with little girls did the same and got somewhere better, but we don't know about them because they didn't get famous. Some others probably tried and failed. However, I think that people who put their all when in such desperate situations, are bound to go up some day, at a certain point.

As for family support, you should ask for it. If you don't get it, you should try anyway.

Originally Posted by britne

I would really appreciate some honest, practical feedback on how to implement these lofty ideas. From Steve, or from anyone else reading this.

Impaul99 has a great site in which he explains exactly that bit by bit, the first part is all too evident but very good:

Transitioning to Doing What You Love - Tip #1: Build a Warchest | Inspired Money Maker - How To Make Money Doing What You Love

Here you are. However, why don't you look for such success stories and how-to's yourself? I wouldn't risk asking in a forum for something that important. You can google a lot of stuff and find lots of info on that point. Asking in a forum and waiting for others to do the search for you is NOT something I would advise. I could have my own intentions, I could be ignorant, I could be uninterested in answering you. If you really want to know something, you should search yourself. I think it was Ayn Rand who warned against "riding other people's brains thinking it's safer". Frankly, if someone tells you where the information is and you are not willing to look it up, but rely on the "Cliff's notes" made by others, your chances of success in whatever you're searching seem pretty low.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by britne

You must be right. I am wasting my time asking you for advice.
So I'm no longer following this thread, no longer subscribing to your blog, and no longer trying to heed your advice.
I came here asking for clarification on one of your blog posts. You have continually replied with insults. I'm done here.

Britne,
Steve isn't insulting you, he's just speaking from a completely foreign perspective. Steve perceives the world as full of abundance just waiting for you to find the courage to take it. He's operating from a different "level of consciousness".

Steve,
Sometimes your responses to posts aren't at a level that the poster can understand and use.

As Britne's reaction demonstrates, advice from an incompatible level of consciousness isn't helpful. From his perspective it's like you said "all you have to do is fly"!

As I understand it, you've never been in his precise position, but according to your articles you were once at a similar level of consciousness (I'm guessing somewhere between Fear and Desire). Try to remember the person you were back then and what they would have found useful.

Even at a comparatively high level of Consciousness you didn't leap straight from a job in Software Development to your current role. You transitioned gradually.

Now you've reached a stage where you could do it one leap, but it probably wouldn't have worked for you back then.

Remember Progressive Training.

[Iamsuperman]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Nevertheless, your reaction is understandable... and a positive step IMO.

I agree. It appears britne sees attack on his/her beliefs as an attack against him/her.

[spikyface]

Read the article about a month ago and wanted to add something to it, regarding the various forms of escapism from career apathy

One thing I noticed when in such a dead-end situation was that I regularly felt the need to brain myself against the wall (not seriously of course but the imagery was there and consistant)

The odd thing is that other people working at the same company often had the same thought

It's funny how the subconscious speaks up sometimes