Advice from breaking up a long distance relationship

[phil8888]

I think the advice given for breaking up a long distance relationship is very shallow on a website that was by Pavlina. Basically it said there are innumerable reasons to break up a long term relationship, and it seemed to imply even if these were a marriage. There have been studies that show that when people are considering divorce, and decide against it, they are always happier 5 years later, but if they get divorced they are less happy with their decision. When people get married, they do so till death does them part, not until they're sick of each other or something. I was especially troubled by the part about are you only together because of God or "some divine power"... but some people believe that what God has joined no one should break, and that two become one. This new age attitude of just breaking up whenever you feel like it has meant devastation to our society, with divorces skyrocketing. I think if you have it in your mind that divorce is an option to be used at any time, then you're in a lot of trouble. Once people accept their relationship and do not believe it can just be abandoned at any time, they work hard at it, and do not just give up. Do not listen to this selfish advice. Like Jesus said, if a man leaves his wife to be with another woman he has committed adultery. If you are married, do not get a divorce, and if you are in danger or something, simply leave, but do not break your vow.

[Kaspian]

I disagree. I know several people who are clearly better off for having divorced, including my parents and at least 3 couples of close friends (and that's just off the top of my head). In all four cases, they're happier than before, and they're still friends with their exes.

If you've honestly done your best to make a marriage (or relationship) work and it's still making you miserable, divorce (or breakup) probably is the better option.

[ellie]

I agree as well. Sometimes you just need to let things go.

My parents stayed together for about 4-5 years after they had thought of divorce. They should of just seperated then and there. No need to hold onto something that doesn't work, it can just make things sader. They could of had 5 years to find the place that they are at now. Also if your thinking how it effects the children - it effects them no matter what. I knew my parents weren't happy even while they were together. I couldn't understand why they needed to stay together, for the sake of "me".

Why do you need to stick to the "rules"? Remember a lot of people on here don't believe in a higher being.

Personally I don't think divorce does as much harm as you think. I think there's more harm in staying in a situation that your not happy in.