Authenticity (Blog)

[Savage]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Steve Pavlina's blog:

Authenticity

[smartile]

Hey Steve,

That clip of Mr. Rogers was very powerful. I felt caught up in the bigger purpose he was speaking to - the freedom for children to be themselves.

When I was younger I thought Mr. Rogers was a nerd, a wimp and a geek but all these things were coming from a place of fear. I was afraid to show my true self by being authentic because I thought I would be giving up my my POWER. Boy, was I ever wrong.

When I had the courage to tell my dad that I loved him for the very first time in March of 2006, I got the very best gift of all - My dad told me for the very first time that he was really proud of me.

That was the first time that I had realized that I am perfect the way I am.
That was the best gift of all.

To Your True Self,

Stephen Martile — Personal Development Made Simple

[songwriter]

Authenticy is what arts want. Just with that you can reach people deep inside. Removing something inside themselves that they even could have forgotten but even the most blind sees again, at least for a while.

I can't understand all of the speech, but most. And it's close to "art" or maybe it's art. "Half of what I say is meaningless but I say it just to reach you" Beatles... We human beings feel all the same, sadness is in everyone, happiness too, compassion too... and putting that in front of somebody is art. Even the most cruel one can be influenced by a beautiful creation.

If it was for me the people in prison would have a lot of art around. To arise them feelings that make them see other feelings are possible...

Music is empty and meaningless unless it sparks a feeling in the listener. Then it becomes art instead of just "organized sound". Same could be a speech or a blog... Some writers are more "scientific-analytic" and write in more of a cold way.... and some are more "artistics-intuitive". Well, we need Newtons and we need Shakespeares.

I think he mentions songs in children. I repeat myself about songs... cause I think they're the deepest thing of human expression and communication. Music melodies go to our subconscious and spark something encoded into it... and makes us live a feeling without having any... cause for that feeling.
And the lyrics are not so important, they go along with the music... naturally. Everyone knows what a song means in spite it's sung in a foreing language.
Well, not everyone, some sensitivy is required... and lyrics help.

The art is not analitical, I mean, an artistic post rarely could go to long explanations and statements. It would have to be all sum in simple and short words, like famous quotes are.

That man was like not giving arguements really but being artistic and trying to cause feelings. A bit like some James Stewart roles in movies.

I can not say it better. I want to tell it "like I feel it". and then perhaps you'll feel it too. (Without any rationalization at all)

"Beauty is the best protest"

[impaul99]

I just watched the video. All I have to say is "WoW". I aspire to communicate with such authenticity. That's awesome. How the HELL could anyone say NO to that?

[Seth 2]

Hi Steve, I really enjoyed this article. I remembered Mr. Rogers’ slow speech as a negative quality, but that video completely blew me away. In terms of authenticity, I thought it was interesting that he speaks the same way to adults as he does to children. You didn’t mention the term “congruence” in your article, but it improves authenticity if you always “be yourself,” instead of changing your behavior to suit the audience. For one, it’s hard to keep multiple acts straight, and two, acting makes you reactive instead of responsive.

That distinction was my favorite part of your article. “He doesn’t react to the energy of others with resistance. He just responds with his own authentic style, as if he were totally unattached to outcomes.”

To me, that sounds just like something from http://realsocialdynamics.blogspot.com/ . You hit the idea that responding and never reacting is the essence of personal power, or “social value.”

Simply stated, if you react to someone, it means they are higher value than you. For example, by reading Steve’s blog and caring enough to post on his message board, I am showing that he has higher value than me. I am “reacting” to Steve. Now he is in the position of power, so he can choose to “respond” to me however he likes. If he ignores me, it will lower my value!

Now if I tell Steve he’s wrong, that is a challenge to his power. If I can make him react to me, by arguing back, that means we are close enough in value to fight it out and see who is the victor. But historically, Steve won’t react, and instead will respond politely. It’s true that any response is technically a reaction, but Steve is too smart to respond in a way that lowers his value. If you argue with Steve, you’ll learn a simple lesson: Don’t argue with Steve!

In person, there are many more ways to react than by typing a reply. That’s why it doesn’t work when parents tell their children to ignore bullies, because even if the kid has a perfect poker face and doesn’t respond to the taunting, his body language will give him away. Bullies can smell fear! Or more poetically, “who you are is always shining through.” Or more technically, animals’ bodies emit electric signals that can be read subconsciously by other animals.

So kids, don’t react to anyone, and remember that your response counts!

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Seth 2

In person, there are many more ways to react than by typing a reply. That’s why it doesn’t work when parents tell their children to ignore bullies, because even if the kid has a perfect poker face and doesn’t respond to the taunting, his body language will give him away. Bullies can smell fear! Or more poetically, “who you are is always shining through.” Or more technically, animals’ bodies emit electric signals that can be read subconsciously by other animals.

So kids, don’t react to anyone, and remember that your response counts!

I totally agree. Growing up I always had bullies try to pick on me because we moved around a lot and bullies always love to pick on the "new kid". I tried all kinds of things to make them go away. The thing I always found that worked was to never back down. I wasn't afraid of fighting with anybody, and as such nobody really wanted to fight with me. Even if they were 3 times my size, they always wondered what I *knew* to not be afraid of them and they stayed away from me after a while.

I knew a lot of kids that would just "take it" from bullies from the start, and they would either end up severely beaten up, or they would take it, take it, take it, take it, and then one day snap and lose it and we all know where that goes.

[Dan.Linehan]

That video almost made me cry. Fred Rogers was a great guy.

I remember seeing him on a show a few years ago, something similar to punked, where they took the TVs out of celebrity hotel rooms and told the guests that they were out for service, that they couldn't have a TV during the stay.

The celebs were, with only one exception, outraged. Except Fred Rogers.. he just said, "No big deal, I see too much TV anyway."

They kept trying to get a rise out of him, he didn't even notice. He just said he'd read a book or go out, no biggie, he'd seen enough TV.

[Jill]

I loved Mr. Rogers while growing up. I had records and books of his and watched the show every day. My kids also watched his show and I loved it even as an adult. I never understood why people made fun of him, as he was always a favorite of mine.

Watching that video now, I knew all the words to the song he spoke of.

I never thought much about it, but I wonder if Mr. Rogers and his show had perhaps a little bit to do with shaping who I am today. If so, that's pretty darn cool!

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

That video almost made me cry. Fred Rogers was a great guy.

It *did* make me cry!

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Jill

I never thought much about it, but I wonder if Mr. Rogers and his show had perhaps a little bit to do with shaping who I am today. If so, that's pretty darn cool!

Absolutely. I was reading "The Biology of Belief" and he talks about a study that says that kids from the age of 2 to 6 absorb a whole crapload of information into their brains and that info becomes their subconscious mind. The thing is that they hardly question anything that is presented to them, they just take it as fact.

Imagine the difference between hearing Mr. Rogers saying "You are special, you are unique, there is nobody in the world like you." every day, compared to watching some of the crap they have on TV nowadays.

[songwriter]

This I call "authenticity" in music. Both videos starts with Paul (McCartney) looking straight from his eyes to the camera like meaning: "from my heart to yours", especially in Hey Jude, in Let it Be he was more "in his darkest hour"... Beatles break-up depression... in Hey Jude Paul seems to sing the world a lullaby.

YouTube - let it be

YouTube - Hey Jude

[Erock]

Wow. That video was jaw-dropping. I was kinda past this guys time but I did see the show a few times and I liked it.

Erock

[robertanthony]

I really loved this video. My big question is how do you deal with someone who pretends to be authentic. In England we have lots of people following formula's to decribe themselves - phoney branding as I call it - they talk about being passionate about personal development yet in reality they are passionate about money. I have seen one leader in particular twist the GIVERS GAIN philosphy so as to get people to work for him for free when he would never under any circumstances give anybody anything for free.

I sometimes feel disappointed that people allow themselves to be blinded by greed and have noticed that at times some people will go into instant denial - they want the money so much that the truth is taboo. It's like your a loser if you tell the truth. I can post this video on an other site but in order to capture group attention to the subject I will put the $20 MILLION as the headline as that's the hot botton that will turn them on.

Thankfully I dont think anybody could fake being a Mr. Rogers.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by robertanthony

I have seen one leader in particular twist the GIVERS GAIN philosphy so as to get people to work for him for free when he would never under any circumstances give anybody anything for free.

I have seen this too. I think the more authentic we become ourselves, the easier it is to discern authenticity in others.

[ferli]

What do you think of Ahmadinejad's vs Bollinger's speech at the Columbia University, in terms of authenticity?

Which one is being more authentic than the other?

Please let me know what you think.

Video of Ahmadinejad’s Full Speech at Columbia University - The Largest Minority