People are representations of yourself?

[jtrikster]

So I've been struggling for the past month of really discovering how people are representations of myself. It's really been bugging me because I'm trying to learn more about myself and I'm partially trying to do this by examing my relationships with other people.

Last night I had a dream about an ex-friend of mine. She was a very good person and still is, but not towards me. I went to DreamMoods and looked up friend in their database. They say: To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

I have not been able to figure out what aspect of my personality my ex-friend represents. I mean, she was like my sister and now we're like enemies. We completely jumped to the opposite spectrum.

I guess maybe my ability to figure out which aspect of myself she represents because I guess I haven't really defined who she is. Do you guys have any ideas, thoughts, comments on any of this?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

You may have already read this, but Steve wrote an article called Understanding Human Relationships that might help.

Also, there is a little discussion in a thread I started about how other people reflect something in you here.

My own understanding of this is still in the developmental stages. Good luck on figuring it out. I am sure there will be some very wise responses for you.

[Angela]

jtrikster, why don't you try listing in writing all the things this person represents to you -- just go hogwild, without editing yourself or second-guessing. See how fast you can get to fifty items on your list.

Then go back and put a star next to everything that looks like a complaint or something you think she should do or change.

Finally, read it aloud word for word, only attribute the traits, complaints, shoulds, should nots, and responsibilities onto yourself, rather than her. Pay special attention to the starred items. This works especially well if you speak out loud to a person who knows you very well. That person can guide you back to your ownership when you veer back into "no! it's her, not me!" Don't be surprised if your mirror buddy laughs a little, because it's so easy for others to see what we're blind to in ourselves, and that is a crack up sometimes.

[Matthew Shea]

I really like Angela's suggestion and I would guess that, if you're completely honest with yourself, you'll see that your ex-friend represents to you a lot of traits present in your own self that you're trying to reject. If that's the case, then it would be pretty clear why this relationship has deteriorated.

If I may take this one step further, a good lesson to take away from this, given my previous assumptions are true, is that, when trying to grow as a person, you have two choices. One is to reject that which you despise and change by exclusion. The other is to learn to love that which you desire to change about yourself and change by including something more positive.

[Angela]

I agree, Matthew. You and I are so much alike, aren't we?

Until you see and accept what is so, you don't have much power to make a difference (and accepting isn't condoning, of course.)

jtrikster, please pardon me for my amateur therapy, but I looked for a complaint in your original post, and found this: "She was a very good person, and still is, but not towards me." Also you mentioned that you are examining your relationships in order to learn more about yourself.

Is there some important way that you are being a good person to others, but not towards yourself? Are you treating yourself in a manner that you would not abide in yourself if it were directed towards another person? Your relationship with yourself might be a great place to start looking.

Please keep us posted.

[Max Power]

The trick I find with friends is to see them like anyone else you've created in your life, they are the parts of consciousness that you bring into your life for a reason and when you no longer need them you make them leave.

I don't see relationships with other people as person to person, I see them as a part of me I need right now or don't need any more. The important parts stay the longest, the one's that aren't important come and go.

Random people in the streeet, in crowds, I never interact with are only required for continuity reasons and I pick and choose the one's I wish to experience the most.

Consciousness wants to know love, hate, dislike, admiration, to do that it creates other parts of itself, gives them identities and physicality and then interacts with them to sense all the emotions that it cannot sense in it's perfect state.

Every person in your present moment awareness matters, but some more than others, why? Because you need others to show you the full range of the experience which can't be done alone. You can never love until you love someone and someone loves you, same with every other feeling.

You can never experience the entire experience until you create others to experience.

Such is power, such is consciosuness, such is you

Enjoy!
Max

Max

[ZHereford]

I don't think that people themselves are a reflection of you as much as their behavior or personalities are trying to teach you something about yourself, especially if it bothers you or elicits an emotional response.

Anything you react to is meant to make you think and learn.
People come and go in our lives, some of them making a big impression and others not. Everything is about how you react to it and what it teaches you.

For example if someone you're interacting with is a hothead it doesn't mean you're a hothead. It means you have to learn how to deal with hotheads. It gives you the opportunity to learn to expand your coping skills. If someone is a liar and a cheat, it doesn't meant that you are. It means you need to learn to respect yourself and not put up with someone lying and cheating on you.
I think it's inaccurate to say that someone is necessarily mirroring your qualities.

[jtrikster]

Thanks guys!! Very helpful. Today has been such a different day now that I've had this 'Aha' moment!!!
Much thanks and appreciation!!

I was definitely looking at this whole thing in the wrong manner. I took a very literal approach to this. Now I don't see other people necessarily as representations of myself, but rather guides telling us about ourselves.

Aspiring, I read your post and it really helped. Thanks!!

Angela, the way you explained that example of the friend getting annoyed because their friend didn't call was a complete 'aha' moment. Everything made sense. It was all about the underlying intentions, thoughts and whatnot.

Today I even randomly found myself reading the book, The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, and what I read just rounded everything out. I've always known I needed to change my character, but I didn't realize changing character meant actually changing my relationship with myself. A few days ago I wrote down a list of qualities I want to have and one of them was being stable and grounded and not basing my self-worth on others. Now I really resonate with that. I realy does make sense to me.

It's so wonderful to have had these revelations. Couldn't have done it without you guys!!

-YoYo

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by jtrikster

I was definitely looking at this whole thing in the wrong manner. I took a very literal approach to this. Now I don't see other people necessarily as representations of myself, but rather guides telling us about ourselves.

I disagree. You had it right. Other people are quite literally reflections of yourself. The purpose is the same, to show you, you. Making them not you lets you blow off the troublesome ones without really seeing yourself in them. You don't get to experience how diverse a being you really are.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Dharma

I disagree. You had it right. Other people are quite literally reflections of yourself. The purpose is the same, to show you, you. Making them not you lets you blow off the troublesome ones without really seeing yourself in them. You don't get to experience how diverse a being you really are.

How do you account for the fact that we interact with people with opposite qualities from each other? We are not everything at once. This would be a very chaotic and confusing world if that were the case.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

How do you account for the fact that we interact with people with opposite qualities from each other? We are not everything at once. This would be a very chaotic and confusing world if that were the case.

That's where we differ. From my POV we are everything at once. Consciousness is huge and I get to experience how huge it is by seeing all different types of me, everywhere. My mind can't hold that so I don't try rationalizing it.

One of the properties of manifestation is that each choice is mutually exclusive of all others and choices cannot cancel out other choices (or, manifestations cannot cancel out other manifestations). People and events, seemingly opposite, are manifested by the same consciousness.

The relationship between two things is created by the mind. There is no relationship in reality. We add that to our experience.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Dharma

The relationship between two things is created by the mind. There is no relationship in reality. We add that to our experience.

While I agree that from some esoteric points of view or in the grand scheme of things we are all one consciousness, however, for the purposes of living the 'illusion' of this everyday life we do break things down and experience them separately.

I don't think it's practical to experience ourselves as part of something beyond our psychological makeup when we are here to learn those very things (who we are and what we choose in addition to how we are connected to the entire universe/all that is).

The paradox is that we must experience ourselves as separate before we can become one with everything, otherwise we would never be able to make the distinction. If that were not the case we could't be discussing this.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

jtrickster, I am so happy you've found some information that has helped. It looks like you have a good idea of who you would like to be and the motivation to get there. Good luck with everything.