I need validation

[Oreb]

I am often pained as to how I measure up to other people. I dont feel inferior or superior but I do feel, as humans tend to feel: Different. How different and in waht ways is what I'm interested in. Im wanting validation.
How smart am I compared to other people? How do I find out?

[Namaste]

If you take intelligence and personality tests (e.g. 16PF, Wonderlic, Myers-Briggs, Watson-Glaser, MSCEIT etc etc etc) you'll get a score which shows which percentile of general population it places you. And in some tests, it can normed against other professionals, college students, accountants, executives etc.

[AndyMartin]

Trying to measure your own worth relative to other people is a bad road to go down. Trust me on this: there is no good that will come of it. Until you find your intrinsic worth. I believe that every person has a unique potential and can make a unique contribution to the world and those around them.

But that's not the source of our worth.

Because really, we're still more the same than different. Our lives are characterized by the same types of experiences, the same questions, the same doubts and fears, the same joys and the same laughter. We're having a uniquely human experience -- every one of us. We are a bright spot of consciousness and activity in our quiet corner of the universe, discovering ourselves and the universe through our growing awareness and engagement with life.

And it is in throwing ourselves fully into that existence that we find real worth. We are uniquely capable of individual and collective growth. We are shaping the future of culture, of life on Earth, of consciousness. When we stop putting our energy into the existential doubt and instead engage fully with the journey we all are on, meaning and value appear on their own.

So if you want to feel unique and special, go out and do something meaningful; make a difference. That is unique and special. And you won't doubt it then.

[Shamou]

Gawd that was beautifully said Andy... and so true...

There is not much anyone can add to that... you're said it all...

.

[Oreb]

Self-worth is relative to the person looking for it. You may find it by building a home for a less fortunate family or reading a book by nietzche.

That's all well and good but it's not for me. You might see my query as misguided and "bad"; just the same I see yours as weak and irrelevant to my complex. I find value in myself through competition, test, by comparing myself to others, by gauging my fittness in a given environment. When I find it, I am at peace. I could care less about the collective and the similarities of the human experience but I guess I should have been more percise...My bad.

To the first guy who replied, thanks a lot I appreciate it.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Oreb

I find value in myself through competition, test, by comparing myself to others, by gauging my fittness in a given environment. When I find it, I am at peace.

You must know by now that there will always be someone smarter, faster, better looking etc. than you. What are you going to do when you get older and no longer measure up in some of the categories? Will you no longer be validated and therefore no longer at peace?

[Akashic_Librarian]

In my present state I find that validating myself is a rather jejune thing to do, a few months ago I would have said it was essential. Now...well opinions change.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

In my present state I find that validating myself is a rather jejune thing to do, a few months ago I would have said it was essential. Now...well opinions change.

I think you do need to validate yourself, but not by comparing yourself to others. You have to know, love and be true to yourself. To me that would be validating yourself.

[Oreb]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

You must know by now that there will always be someone smarter, faster, better looking etc. than you. What are you going to do when you get older and no longer measure up in some of the categories? Will you no longer be validated and therefore no longer at peace?

Ohh definately, It would be foolish to not know otherwise. However, I am in my prime (physically), and I have the desire to be aggressive, to push and shove and see what kind of response I get.

But, I will always have the abillity to grow my intellect so now I want to see how far I can go, how far the limits of those before me are set. I know I couldnt hope to push near much less past them but its human nature to be inquisitive as well as insecure.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Oreb

Ohh definately, It would be foolish to not know otherwise. However, I am in my prime (physically), and I have the desire to be aggressive, to push and shove and see what kind of response I get.

But, I will always have the abillity to grow my intellect so now I want to see how far I can go, how far the limits of those before me are set. I know I couldnt hope to push near much less past them but its human nature to be inquisitive as well as insecure.

That's fair enough Oreb. You are basically competing against and pushing your limits.

[Angela]

Oreb, AndyMartin just gave you some of the most lucid and generous advice ever given in these forums, and you pooh-poohed it.

Your question is all rife with limitations, generalizations, being separate, and comparisons of how "more than" or "less than" you are. And yet you ask it here, where some of the most highly held values are connection, freedom, joy, love, and growth. Hmmmm. And you came here on your own steam! Something big is possible for you, clearly.

When you ask for advice here, it might be a really great idea to listen with a generous heart to what is offered, as it could give you a new and revitalizing way of participating in life itself. You will find here a very loving, creative, generous and grateful community in which to work through your thoughts. Plus some goofballs!

Just my thoughts, and of course you are my mirror!

Love
Angela

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Angela

When you ask for advice here, it might be a really great idea to listen with a generous heart to what is offered, as it could give you a new and revitalizing way of participating in life itself. You will find here a very loving, creative, generous and grateful community in which to work through your thoughts.

Angela, you raise an interesting and most valid point! Why of all forums is Oreb asking the question here?
Methinks he has a valuable lesson to learn.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by ZHereford

Angela, you raise an interesting an most valid point! Why of all forums is Oreb asking the question here?
Methinks he has a valuable lesson to learn.

I know. I had this image while I was writing that of Oreb dipping his toes into a clear, beautiful lake that is so icy-cold that it hurts a little bit, until it becomes refreshing!

[Akashic_Librarian]

Oreb you have a lot to learn. Luckily your in the greatest Forum on Earth.

So you'll soon learn.

[jasonivers]

It's much more useful, if you want to compare yourself to something, to compare yourself to what you believe you should be able to accomplish, and to what you have accomplished in the past. That being said, if you wish to compare yourself to others, why not go out and see if you can learn a new subject/topic that is generally considered difficult? Go see how hard it is for you to learn advanced calculus, or theoretical physics, or something of similar ilk. THAT is an actually useful comparison. IQ tests and such are generalizations and not much use in real application. I have met people with a tested IQ of 110 who were, to my perception, much smarter than people with a tested IQ in the 130's. I'm not simply referring to "street smarts", I mean they could learn new material, and apply it, better than people with higher test scores.

Don't look for numbers for a comparison... there is no meaningful number to measure intelligence. IQ is a useful concept, and can give you an educated guess as to whether someone is below, at, or above average, but it can't actually tell you which of two people is smarter, if they're in an even vaguely similar range. Learning and applying new knowledge, however, is a much better indicator, and also has the benefit of strengthening your mind and giving you that much more knowledge to draw on in new situations.

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My blog.

[Groundless]

I am often pained as to how I measure up to other people.

Who is I? Who is "other people"?

I dont feel inferior or superior but I do feel, as humans tend to feel: Different. How different and in waht ways is what I'm interested in. Im wanting validation.

Why? Everything is perfectly perfect the way it is now. All there is is now. Without the delusion of time how do you even compare at all? You need no validation. You are already what you are and what you will ever be.

How smart am I compared to other people? How do I find out?

Let go desire.

Or, keep pounding your head into the wall of delusion and measurements and all things unreal....that sometimes works to wake up. Either way.....it's all ok.