Subjective reality /inspiration trial

[cheesedip1]

I am considering doing a 30 day inspiration trial and a 30 day subjective reality trial.

Subjective reality sounds kind of scary , a little bit, but I think I can manage.

Would it be recommended to do both at once? Part of me thinks it would be easier if I could focus on one at a time.

[cheesedip1]

Okay, i've made my decision. I'm starting my 30 day subjective reality trial tomorrow. (I wont be trying to focus on an inspiration trial here, just subjective reality.) I'll report back (maybe) on anything interesting here.


Day 1 here we come!



-------EDIT: I know the trial, hasn't started yet, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on subjective reality. etc


- Lately, I've seen the word "run" on 4 different license plate of cars. Plus, someone brought up the word "run", two times, in two different interaction with me. I think this has to do with me wanting to leave the college I'm at now, and go to one of the ones in Lincoln. I feel like there will be more opprotunites there. (Toastmasters, Health food store etc.) Columbus is kind of small.

I'm feeling kind of alone , here at Columbus college, but maybe I just ended up manifesting this so I would want to transfer to Lincoln. I've interacted with some cool people here, but probably only around 5 or less, with who I really vibed with (sort of). I even went into the Akashic records, and was told that Lincoln would be the right place for me at this time. (That was after I already made the decision to go to Lincoln, btw)

-I remember the first time, I read Joe Vitale's book, Zero Limits, I had a rude discussion with someone on the phone. I had ended up making a personal decision for myself that didn't affect anyone else and the person I was talking to couldn't handle it. After I hung up, I tried Joe Vitale's method, and the person called back and apologized.


---Also, I'm starting to think the universe has been nudging me to go to Lincoln college. I wanted to go there first, but the decided to look elsewhere. Earlier this year, I was really focused on going to Northeast college, but I got rejected from attending because I've never been vaccinated. I think the universe set that up because it knew there was a better fit for me elsewhere. After that, I thought about Columbus college. I kind of hated that at first, because it's kind of in a forest area, but now I feel like that's one of the best aspects about it.

I know I'm kind of going to miss Columbus college with some of the opprotunies here (it's a very "artsy" college....good for art, music etc. ), but I know Lincoln will be a good match for me.

[cheesedip1]

Hmm...I haven't even started the trial , but I tried to manifest this one red haired girl to knock on my door. (I wanted to talk to her.)

Two people did knock on my door. (One was red haired, other was blond.) It wasn't who I wanted to knock tho. Dont get me wrong, it was still great to see them. They just wanted to know where my roommate was. I said I had no idea, and then they left.

I looked at the clock, and it said 9:11. 9+1+1=11


Also, I'll try to act on inspiration when I remember to, but that's not really what this trial is about. I'm thinking of doing a seperate trial for inspiration eventually, but who knows.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by cheesedip1

Okay, i've made my decision. I'm starting my 30 day subjective reality trial tomorrow. (I wont be trying to focus on an inspiration trial here, just subjective reality.) I'll report back (maybe) on anything interesting here.


Day 1 here we come!



-------EDIT: I know the trial, hasn't started yet, but I wanted to share some of my thoughts on subjective reality. etc


- Lately, I've seen the word "run" on 4 different license plate of cars. Plus, someone brought up the word "run", two times, in two different interaction with me. I think this has to do with me wanting to leave the college I'm at now, and go to one of the ones in Lincoln. I feel like there will be more opprotunites there. (Toastmasters, Health food store etc.) Columbus is kind of small.

I'm feeling kind of alone , here at Columbus college, but maybe I just ended up manifesting this so I would want to transfer to Lincoln. I've interacted with some cool people here, but probably only around 5 or less, with who I really vibed with (sort of). I even went into the Akashic records, and was told that Lincoln would be the right place for me at this time. (That was after I already made the decision to go to Lincoln, btw)

-I remember the first time, I read Joe Vitale's book, Zero Limits, I had a rude discussion with someone on the phone. I had ended up making a personal decision for myself that didn't affect anyone else and the person I was talking to couldn't handle it. After I hung up, I tried Joe Vitale's method, and the person called back and apologized.


---Also, I'm starting to think the universe has been nudging me to go to Lincoln college. I wanted to go there first, but the decided to look elsewhere. Earlier this year, I was really focused on going to Northeast college, but I got rejected from attending because I've never been vaccinated. I think the universe set that up because it knew there was a better fit for me elsewhere. After that, I thought about Columbus college. I kind of hated that at first, because it's kind of in a forest area, but now I feel like that's one of the best aspects about it.

I know I'm kind of going to miss Columbus college with some of the opprotunies here (it's a very "artsy" college....good for art, music etc. ), but I know Lincoln will be a good match for me.

I have no idea what yer talking about with this trial deally, but it struck me that if I were the universe, and assuming the universe isn't restricted linguistically in some way, if I wanted to tell you to change colleges, I would have maybe possibly perhaps used the words "change colleges" instead of the word "run" as a way to effectively get that across. If, howsoever, I wanted to warn you about aliens intending to harvest your organs for a buffet on the home planet, I may very well have used the word "run"......Just another possible interpretation to consider.

[cheesedip1]

Steve mentioned how to keep brain cells healthy in his email newsletter. Today , on day 1, we talked about brain cells in Biology class.

Also, in my dream before I woke up, I was lecturing someone on subjective/objective reality. Sometimes, I've noticed in my life, that things I've thought about have shown up in my reality.

Also, I realized that I wanted to get to the point where I I'm not trying to explain myself to other people when it's not necessary. Plus, for the past year, I've been having deja vu in my dreams.

[cheesedip1]

Pre subjective day:
I had déjà vu when I went into room 205 to fill out a survey. I noticed I see many things I consider bad or “less than me” in others, but that really just reflects that aspect of me; many times I feel less than others or I don’t want to feel less than others. I tried healing the part of me that judges people by appearance, for appearances can be deceiving.

I saw someone carrying mcdonalds the other day and I instantly thought something condescending about this person, (not in a rude way, it was just one of those subtle spiritual ego things) that I am better or they are less (why can’t we be equal?), even tho, I’ve ate crap food before in my life. Similarlly, I remember being upset for a split second, the other day, because someone didn’t get my sense of humor. I think I was just looking for her laughter or some type of thing/action that could symbolize her approval for me. (And then , strangely enough, I would feel good about myself.) The thing is tho, why do I need to please anyone but myself? I feel like I just want to be myself, and let other people , have their reactions. (On day 2, I found the thread asking about how to love yourself. Honestly, I think I need help in learning to love myself.)

Part of me sometimes feels that I just want more people in my life to appreciate me. The thing is tho, how many people in my life do I apprecieate? I always seem to keep myself too busy with homework and web surfing/facebooking to make time for others, and possibly even myself. I could give people more compliments, but im afraid of them rejecting me, even tho , just because they don’t say anything doesn’t mean they didn’t like my comment. Just because they don’t accept my kindness doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with me. Maybe they are just shy or having a bad day, because after all, I feel shy and have some bad days at times. Of course, if they are just me, than that shows , Im probably afraid of loving myself/being loved. I want to feel more connected with people.
In fact, im thinking im so focused on being afraid or thinking about what to say next or what to respond, that I stop listening to others as much,. You know, its probably a really good idea for me to be a really good listener, and just focus on others, too.

Day 1:
I talked with L (I’m not using real names here) and some other people at lunch. Some people commented on my M-M’s jacket. I asked why the cafeteria didn’t have strawberry ice cream, and some people agreed they it would be a good idea. Also, I noticed the last couple months I’ve been letting out more of my anger safely. I think I might still have anger from a while back. I’ve never really ever let out any of these feelings until recently. In the past, I would just let me emotions get more and more bottled up, because I didn’t feel like I had anywhere to express these emotions safely.


Day 2: Before I woke up, I had a dream that my grandpa gave me some dollar bills. One was a $1000 dollar bill and another was a 1 million dollar bill. Of course, since it was a dream, it felt normal, and I wasn't freaking out or panicky, like if I had won the lottery or something.

Also, I started thinking about how I'm kind of scared to post stuff on this forum. Certain stuff that I know is really descriptive of me. I don't think all of it is from the face that whatever you post online, anyone can see. That's part of it, but I don't think that's the whole picture.

On my way home, I turned the radio to 103.1. The same song I heard a couple weeks ago was playing at the same location I heard it last time. (Both times I heard the song was when I got to the part with the stretch of trees on my left.) The song was "End of My Rope" by Trapt.

On my drive home, I started thinking about how nice it would be to get three of my friends a gift each. Part of me kind of doubted myself tho. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm the best at giving to others. But knowing that it's something I really want to do, I might as well do it. Plus, it will probably be good to do it, because I'll somewhat be facing a fear at the same time. I was thinking candy bars for two people and a homemade card for the other person. =)

Speaking of doubt, a couple days ago, I started doubting myself about something I had done. Even tho, nothing had changed externally, I still felt uneasy. I think the doubt was all in my mind, because, objectively, things were the same as they had always been.

When I got home, I noticed that my several samples of clearlight water had shown up. (I had orded them a couple of days ago.) I put a drop into a glass of water, and drank it. Nothing happened. 10 minutes later , I ended up falling asleep. (I had been taking naps throughout the day for awhile now, so it doesn't relate to the water.) I had a dream that I went on the Pavlina forums and typed that the water didn't do anything for me. Many people ended up agreeing that it didn't seem to do anything. After I woke up, I tried another drop, but nothing seemed to happen.

I went downstairs and thought about asking a family member about what the world would be like it we were in the Matrix. Then, suddenly I realized I was holding a spoon in my hand. I thought of chuckling to myself and saying "There is no spoon," I ended up asking that certain family member and she ended up saying that she would have wanted to stay in the Matrix. Considering, how I don't feel ready to die just yet, my thoughts relate somewhat. I feel like there are still more things left for me to do in life. Plus, I think it also relates that I'm not always ready to face the truth. I have to peel away layer by layer of truth , slowly over time. I wouldn't want to over do it. I had two burritos for supper, both vegan pinto ones.

[cheesedip1]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

I have no idea what yer talking about with this trial deally, but it struck me that if I were the universe, and assuming the universe isn't restricted linguistically in some way, if I wanted to tell you to change colleges, I would have maybe possibly perhaps used the words "change colleges" instead of the word "run" as a way to effectively get that across. If, howsoever, I wanted to warn you about aliens intending to harvest your organs for a buffet on the home planet, I may very well have used the word "run"......Just another possible interpretation to consider.

Possibly, but I don't think the universe is always so direct. I don't think you are going to pass a billboard that says:

"BREAK UP WITH MARY, SHE IS WRONG FOR YOU. ALSO, YOUR FRIEND MIKE WITH THE LAST NAME IKE IS MOVING AWAY. GET HIM A HOUSE AS A GOING AWAY PRESENT, HE WOULD LOVE THAT."

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by cheesedip1

Possibly, but I don't think the universe is always so direct. I don't think you are going to pass a billboard that says:

"BREAK UP WITH MARY, SHE IS WRONG FOR YOU. ALSO, YOUR FRIEND MIKE WITH THE LAST NAME IKE IS MOVING AWAY. GET HIM A HOUSE AS A GOING AWAY PRESENT, HE WOULD LOVE THAT."

How about a billboard advertising a college? (or 4 or 5) How about someone you know going off to college and being excited about it. How about a million other scenarios less direct than your own personal billboard but far more direct than 'run'?

Besides whatever messages you are getting are just your own manifestation of your focus of attention, and not some Mr Universe trying to converse with you.

[cheesedip1]

Day 3: Someone on facebook mentioned something about "its just a dream."

I heard a RHCP song on the radio. It was "City of Angels". One of the lines goes...

"It's hard to believe that nobody's out there" (Relating to subjective reality)



Meh.

[cheesedip1]

The hardest part is constantly remembering to hold the dream-like perspective. Conversations can get distracting because I am so caught up in what is going on.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by cheesedip1

The hardest part is constantly remembering to hold the dream-like perspective. Conversations can get distracting because I am so caught up in what is going on.

Isn't the trying to hold a dream-like perspective, part of the dream perspective?

[cheesedip1]

I've been doing ho'oponopono during this trial. I view ho'oponopono the way I view the problems in the world: Even if I didnt cause it, I'm still responsible for fixing it.

Basically, if someone was struggling and you could help them, would you? That's the way I view ho'oponopono.


---Also, i think at some point, I'm just going to have to surrender blame eventually (at some point in my soul's existence) so why not just do it now? By blaming others, I'm usually just giving my power away.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by cheesedip1

I've been doing ho'oponopono during this trial. I view ho'oponopono the way I view the problems in the world: Even if I didnt cause it, I'm still responsible for fixing it.

Basically, if someone was struggling and you could help them, would you? That's the way I view ho'oponopono.

Hopo does indeed touch on the truth of the matter by implying that separation is not an actuality but only a perception. To heal yourself is to heal the world. To forgive ones self is to forgive the world. To embrace oneself is to embrace the world. To find peace in the self is to find peace in the world. Nothing more is needed.

---Also, i think at some point, I'm just going to have to surrender blame eventually (at some point in my soul's existence) so why not just do it now? By blaming others, I'm usually just giving my power away.

You cannot choose to surrender anything because you think it's a good idea to do so. Self blame is surrendered through self acceptance, which results in acceptance of others. Self acceptance is the realization that you cannot do other than precisely what you do.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

How about a billboard advertising a college?

Err, young people are constantly being targeted for such advertisements. Whenever I ride the train, the ads being displayed are usually for colleges of uncertain repute or for personal injury attorneys. Advertisements are not the universe's way of sending signals, they're people's ways of sending signals. As such, it's best to just ignore them.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Err, young people are constantly being targeted for such advertisements. Whenever I ride the train, the ads being displayed are usually for colleges of uncertain repute or for personal injury attorneys. Advertisements are not the universe's way of sending signals, they're people's ways of sending signals. As such, it's best to just ignore them.

So the universe has standards?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by cheesedip1

The hardest part is constantly remembering to hold the dream-like perspective. Conversations can get distracting because I am so caught up in what is going on.

Have you ever done lucid dreaming? Perhaps tried some of the little "reminders" like spinning or looking at your hands? You can build a "reminder" into your lucid waking reality, as well -- something just a little out of whack, like a psychedic wristband, or one painted fingernail... something you'll see often during the course of your waking dream day and just odd enough to give you small jolt of awareness.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

So the universe has standards?

Where did I say that?

That being said, every signal you receive is from some entity or another. God doesn't judge, your spirit guides do their best not to judge, but everything else does, including angels, archangels, and the ascended masters. At least, the way in which they act can be perceived as judgmental. When we use the phrase "the universe," it's generally a proxy for the collected entities of the universe, including the subconscious, the vast majority of people being unable to discern which is which.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Where did I say that?

That being said, every signal you receive is from some entity or another. God doesn't judge, your spirit guides do their best not to judge, but everything else does, including angels, archangels, and the ascended masters. At least, the way in which they act can be perceived as judgmental. When we use the phrase "the universe," it's generally a proxy for the collected entities of the universe, including the subconscious, the vast majority of people being unable to discern which is which.

Oh, I don't think there are any entities involved, and if there are, why would you listen to them telling you what to do? (regardless of their views on advertising)

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

Oh, I don't think there are any entities involved, and if there are, why would you listen to them telling you what to do? (regardless of their views on advertising)

Generally because you're lost or confused, in need of direction. Whenever something comes in that's not from you, and you're in this state, you're going to be at least receptive to the idea. Advertising works precisely because of this tendency. We are unsure far more than we let on.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Generally because you're lost or confused, in need of direction. Whenever something comes in that's not from you, and you're in this state, you're going to be at least receptive to the idea. Advertising works precisely because of this tendency. We are unsure far more than we let on.

The universe is far more Self created than you know. We send those 'messages' to ourselves, and we don't separate 'human messages' from 'divine messages' such that advertising is off limits.
If you're lost, it's because you keep trying to separate stuff.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

The universe is far more Self created than you know.

Please tell me more about what I know.

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by VinceG

Please tell me more about what I know.

Well............that's about it, I guess.

[VinceG]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

Well............that's about it, I guess.

Hehe...

[Sponge]

Arc and Vince arguing- never! (Said with humour). Keep it up, I learn lots from these 'discussions'.

Cheesedip I enjoyed reading your post because what you wrote about your perceptions of what others are thinking and judgments on yourself, or others are very close to the problems I've had- things as silly as people liking your facebook comments or ignoring posts on here. Also, the part on not wanting to write much on forums/on-line, yet we tell so much. However, am starting to see more and more that these are just thoughts and not who I am so can now (although not always) just not pay much attention to these thoughts. I also realize that these thoughts just occur. I don't seem to have a huge amount of control (somewhere I didn't succeed after years with using LoA tools- peace was always temporary). The main issues since becoming more aware of the thoughts was my internal resistance, being angry wiith myself for having the thoughts. Chris and Arc made me realize this is just more thought. Illusion within illusion.
The irony is that as I accept more and more the thoughts I have, the less power they have, this morning I thought of my mind as being like a computer programme that I can just reprogramme. I guess that's where LoA teachings come in, but I needed to see the 'dream' (see it not just understand it) beforehand.
Also, the part about seeing someone carrying a McDonalds bag made me nearly choke on my fries. Hillarious. Thanks for being so honest. Thoughts like that occur all the time but not about McDonalds- I love it!! (Don't judge me though am a pretty healthy individual- it just prooves how wrong our judgments can be).

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by Sponge

I don't seem to have a huge amount of control (somewhere I didn't succeed after years with using LoA tools- peace was always temporary).

Yeah. Dualistic peace (or happiness) can never be permanent, and so one can never 'succeed' with LOA in that way.

[Sponge]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

Yeah. Dualistic peace (or happiness) can never be permanent, and so one can never 'succeed' with LOA in that way.

Yep agreed. But ohh to get to your level....

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by Sponge

Yep agreed. But ohh to get to your level....

If no thought of what you are was believed anymore, where would you be?

[Sponge]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

If no thought of what you are was believed anymore, where would you be?

Yeah I know and I looked, and I couldn't find myself, but I keep getting sucked back in and suffering! Today there has been more drama and I'm annoyed thaf I'm identifying so much-I talked about it to different people, got angry about it gave it more energy. I can see it's my ego that got angry because of the perceived rudeness but that didn't stop me feeling that way. (Admitedly the feelings are loosing power and lasting a lot less time as I'm able to remember all this). Now that I have 5 minutes alone I just laugh at it, but I get caught up in it all. Anyhow now I'm adding to it..should leave it alone.
Damn it...

[Arcanum]

Originally Posted by Sponge

Yeah I know and I looked, and I couldn't find myself, but I keep getting sucked back in and suffering! Today there has been more drama and I'm annoyed thaf I'm identifying so much-I talked about it to different people, got angry about it gave it more energy. I can see it's my ego that got angry because of the perceived rudeness but that didn't stop me feeling that way. (Admitedly the feelings are loosing power and lasting a lot less time as I'm able to remember all this). Now that I have 5 minutes alone I just laugh at it, but I get caught up in it all. Anyhow now I'm adding to it..should leave it alone.
Damn it...

Well, I wasn't suggesting you try to find yourself, just wondering were you are when you're not thinking about yourself and believing the stories.

[ChrisGinsburg]

Originally Posted by Arcanum

Well, I wasn't suggesting you try to find yourself, just wondering were you are when you're not thinking about yourself and believing the stories.

I like to think my imaginary self is off enjoying carnival rides when I'm not thinking about it.